Captured Heart (A Garrett's Point Novel) (18 page)

“Oh don’t be so melodramatic, Emma. What did you think was going to happen? That we’d sleep together, maybe continue some sort of relationship after I returned to Richmond? Was that it?”

She had hoped that their time together had meant something more to him that what he was conveying now. She had read him all wrong. Obviously what she had felt for him deep down for years that had manifested and expressed itself the past few weeks, was not reciprocated.

Her throat burned with unshed tears. “I never asked you for anything, Jack.” Her heart hardened to protect herself.

“That’s true, but I guess you didn’t have to, did you?” he said acidly.

Where was this attitude coming from? She didn’t understand.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, with my sister’s death, you’ve gained everything you’ve always wanted, haven’t you? A house on the river, a child to raise like your own, and if you added me to the mix, then you were set, weren’t you? Don’t you think we’ve played house long enough?”  He said the words in anger and jealousy, intending to hurt. He knew he’d make a mistake the minute the words left his mouth, but he couldn’t take them back. Maybe it was better to insure this thing between them didn’t get in the way again.

He watched as all color drained from Emma’s face. He thought for a moment she might faint.

“Emma…” He took a step toward her.

She held up her hand warding him off, her eyes closed as if she were searching for inner strength.

He’d cut her to the core. She was certain she was going to bleed out right here on the kitchen floor.

My God! How could he be so cruel and say such things. He couldn’t believe such ugly things about her, could he? He’d said them. She prayed harder than she’d ever prayed, asking for strength to get through this moment in time and not lose all self-respect in the process by saying things she couldn’t take back.

Inhaling deeply, she opened sapphire blue eyes. Pain emanated from their depths.

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Jack. While I vehemently disagree with your assessment of the situation, you are entitled to your opinion. You are not; however, entitled to belittle me and make me feel lesser of a person than I am.”

She looked him directly in the eye, her gaze piercing. “I find I am quite disappointed in myself for seeing something in you that clearly did not exist. From here on out, I have one goal that is partially linked to you and that is the love and care of Olivia. My intent is to be primary caregiver as we discussed. If that is still your wish, then I ask that you leave me to it. We can work out arrangements for when you come here on the weekends or have her come to you in Richmond for visits. We can work through Mr. Spencer to document your requests. I think the more business-oriented we keep this the better. I’m sure you agree.”

The frosted words burned his skin. He’d gotten what he’d wanted. He’d wanted to cut things off completely. His words had done that. She’d made that perfectly clear. Now he could go home and move on with his life, while still making sure his niece was cared for.

It was the right thing for all parties involved. He knew it was. So, why as Emma headed up the stairs, did he suddenly feel like he’d lost something very valuable, something he’d never be able to replace? It was guilt. That was it. He felt guilty for saying the things he had. He didn’t believe them, but he’d said them anyway, knowing they would sever the ties that bound them together.

He should be glad it was done and over with, but somehow he was not. Instead, he felt like he’d just abused a puppy.

Chapter Seventeen

A month had passed since Jack had returned to Richmond. School had resumed, and Olivia and Emma had settled into a routine. Emma had talked to the school counselor about the journal she’d had Olivia start and the note idea. She’d agreed they were good outlets for Olivia to express herself and feel linked to her parents. She’d also starting seeing Olivia every other week for an hour session just to be sure she was processing her grief and moving forward. Olivia for all intents and purposes was thriving.

Emma on the other hand was hiding behind an emotional wall she had erected after that awful night confronting Jack. She hadn’t told the girls what had been said. Mainly because she couldn’t bring herself to repeat the awful things Jack had said. She was pretty sure if she did, Kat would find him and cut his testicles off. Again, on an off day, she would pay to watch her do it.

Without realizing it, Emma had programmed herself to smile and laugh at the appropriate times, when she didn’t really feel anything at all. That was intentional. She never again wanted to feel the way Jack had made her feel. She didn’t think she’d recover a second time, so to prevent that from happening, she’d shut down. She’d become really good at going through the motions and thought she had everybody fooled. She should have known better. Her friends weren’t fooled. They were worried.

She’d even stopped attending Thursday night dinners at the diner. She couldn’t let them that close because she recognized the fact that she had a terrible poker face. They’d crack through her wall in no time, so to avoid that, she used Olivia as an excuse. She had to be home now while Olivia was still transitioning. She thought they’d bought her excuse. They hadn’t.

Four weeks to the day since she’d last attended girl’s night, her doorbell rang. It was after six, and she wasn’t expecting anyone. She glanced out the peephole and hung her head. There they stood with bags full of food.

Emma swung the door open; pasting what she thought was a welcoming smile on her face. “Hey, girls. To what do I owe this surprise? I wasn’t expecting you.” she greeted.

“We decided since you won’t come to us, we’d bring dinner to you.” Sydney took the lead.

“That’s very nice of you, but Liv and I were just about finished with dinner.” Emma motioned to the dining room table with half eaten food on the plates.

“Well then, I guess you can watch us eat. We did bring pie.” Kathryn informed her.

She loved pie. Oh, how she had missed pie from the diner.

“Come on in. I’ll get you some plates.” As much as she tried to deny it, she had missed her friends so much. Just thinking it made the ice crack slightly around her heart.

They dished out several different pastas, including a plate for Emma. “What’s all this?” she asked as Tucker danced around her hoping to be rewarded with a sample of his own.

“No, boy, this isn’t for you. I’ll get you a treat.” Emma grabbed a bone from the pantry and gave it to Tucker.

“Is this what I think it is, Mel? Is it various dish samples for your new concept menu?”

Melanie grinned from ear to ear. “It is. I’ve been playing around with several recipes. These are tastes of some of my favorites. I can’t wait to see what you guys think. Now be honest with me.” she pleaded.

“Like that’s ever an issue for us.” Kat replied and then looked directly at Emma. “Well, most of us anyway.”

They knew. That much was obvious. That’s why they were here. She hadn’t fooled them at all; in fact it looked like she had hurt them in the process.

“What gave me away?” Em whispered.

The three exchanged glances. “Well, for starters, you’re a terrible liar.” Sydney began. “Secondly, you shut us out. You stopped talking, Em. That’s not you.”

“Plus that pasty-ass fake smile you’ve been wearing was starting to look like the Joker. All you needed was the clown make-up.” Kat threw out there.

Emma choked on her pasta. Leave it to Kat to lay it all out on the table. She looked over at Olivia and asked if she was finished eating.

“Please go to your room and read for a little bit. I’ll be up in a little while to get your shower ready, okay? Thanks, Liv.” Emma turned her attention back to the group.

“Listen, I’m going to make this short and sweet, and then we aren’t EVER going to discuss it again. You have to promise me.” Emma was very firm. She meant it.

All three ladies agreed. They didn’t like it, but they agreed.

“Jack and I ended things on a VERY disagreeable note that day after the cookout. Needless to say, we haven’t spoken since. He’s talked with Olivia on the phone and via Skype. My understanding is he plans on coming to visit with her this weekend, at which time I will stay at my former home. I have no intention of staying in the same house with him. EVER. End of story.” She took a deep breath and looked up at them. She hadn’t realized she’d been staring at her hands twisting in her lap.

“I’m sorry I shut you out. I just couldn’t talk about it. I didn’t want to talk about the things that were said and how it ended. What’s done is done. Olivia and I are moving on.”

“You wouldn’t have hidden yourself away from us if it were as simple as that, Em. What exactly did Jack say or do to you?”

“He accused me of wanting to play house with him and the life I’d inherited from Dana.” She couldn’t believe she’d said it out loud. It felt good to finally get it off her chest. It’d been like an elephant weighing in on her chest.

All three gasped in outrage. “Are you FREAKIN’ kidding me?” Kat hollered in fury. “Seriously?” She stood up from the bench as if ready for battle.

“Sit down, Kat. What are you going to do, beat him up?” Emma asked. “I don’t need you to do that. I’m done with him. Hence the part about moving on.”

Kat was simmering underneath. Jack Denton better hope he wasn’t making an appearance this weekend, because if he did, Kat stood a very good chance of being arrested for assault.

Emma couldn’t believe how much better she was feeling just sharing with her friends the truth about what had happened.

“I guess I had been secretly hoping that Jack and I had a chance at a future. The thing is, he never mislead me by saying anything that would indicate we did. I was the one harboring those feelings. What shocked me was how hurtful his words were. Jack isn’t a vindictive and hateful person. That’s not him, but his words cut to the quick.” Sighing, she recalled that night in her mind like watching a movie she didn’t like but couldn’t turn off. “It hurt so much that I guess I wasn’t very adult about the situation. I closed myself off so I wouldn’t have to deal with the pain. Pretty pathetic, isn’t it?”

Melanie reached over and gave her a reassuring hug. “Of course not, Em. It means you’re human. You’re always so hard on yourself, expecting so much. You know, Kat’s really not that far off.” Kat sat up, paying closer attention. “You really are the closest thing to a modern day Mary Poppins that we’ve got.” Mel said to Emma’s chagrin.

“Ha! See how perceptive I am. You guys just don’t give me enough credit.” Kat chimed in.

“I just did.” Melanie countered.

“The point is, Emma, and I do believe we have one,” Sydney interrupted Mel and Kat before it became a tirade, “You’re a giver. You react to people’s needs, knowing exactly what to do to help them. You bring sunlight into dark situations. That’s what makes you so special.” Sydney grasped Emma’s hand. “You have to take some of your own advice in this situation. Work through it. Let time heal. It always does, but don’t shut your support system out. That’s the worst thing you could do, but you already know that, don’t you?”

Now Emma knew how it felt to be on the receiving end of her advice. Her friends were amazing.

“I can’t believe I let it get so much under my skin. I couldn’t function. I shut myself off because I was afraid to feel anything again, but life isn’t like that. You have to be an active participant.” Her head was held high as the last remaining fragments of ice that had held her captive for the last month shattered into little shards that melted away from the warmth of her friend’s support.

“No more hiding away and just getting through the day.” Emma declared. “I’m breaking free of Jack Denton today.”

They’d uncorked a bottle of wine earlier. Melanie raised her glass. “Here’s to new beginnings.”

They clinked their glasses. “Here. Here.”