Captured Devil's Blaze MC Book 1 (19 page)

I watch Skull walk away and I want to run after him. What can I say? Do I tell him about my father? How will he feel when he knows I do have Donahue blood? I can’t barely understand or believe all of the things I’ve learned today. When Skull told me he wanted to marry me, I panicked. I wanted to scream, jump, and shout
yes!

But how can I marry him if I know that I’m going to end up leaving? Am I going to leave? Can I stay and risk Skull’s life?

I’m supposed to meet with Redmond tomorrow. Jesus, it sounds so weird even calling him that. I want to scream at him and ask where he was when I was diagnosed with cancer. If he’s so concerned about saving me, where was he when I truly needed him back in my corner? How could he stand to let my mother just leave with me? I have so many questions. So, regardless of what my final decision is, I know that I’m going to see Redmond again and hear him out. I can’t stop myself.

I go through the motions on autopilot getting ready for bed. Brush my hair, teeth, clean off my makeup, slip on one of Skull’s t-shirts, and the pink boy-cut panties he likes so much.

By the time I’m done, he’s still not back. This is bad for me because it gives me way too much time to think. I need to talk to Skull. If I tell him about Pistol, what will the fallout be? Will I end up getting Skull killed? What if I tell him about my dad? What can I tell him that won’t make everything a hundred times worse? I close my eyes and try to still my brain. Immediately, a picture of Skull comes to mind.

I don’t want to leave him. I think the best thing to do is wait. My father won’t like me putting him off, but I need to think. Skull could be right. He could win this war. My father admitted he had taken some serious hits. Latch’s words keep coming back to me. I need to have faith in my man. That’s what he said and he’s right. I love Skull. I want to spend the rest of my life with him and I need to have faith that he can handle this.

Just as I come to that decision, I hear Skull’s voice from the meeting the other day admitting to his men he made a mistake. What would Latch say now, knowing that even Skull realizes he underestimated everything? Again I find myself full circle, torn between what I want and what is probably best for Skull and his family. When the door opens, I snap my eyes to it hoping it’s Skull, and perversely at the same time hoping it’s not. It would be easier to leave if he pushed me away.

“Hi,” I tell him nervously, hoping he’s going to talk to me. I think he grunts back. There are definitely no words. That’s when I notice his face. How long had I been worrying? It had to be a while because Skull’s got a bruise under his eye, his jaw is swollen, and his knuckles are all bloody and scraped. There are several gashes open and still bleeding. I forget my nervousness and jump up, running to him. “What did you do?” I cry, holding his hand gently to inspect the damage.

He jerks it away from me. “Beat the fuck out of Sabre,” he grumbles, walking around me to get to the restroom.

“Why would you do that?” I ask, following him.

“Because the fucker offered, and I needed someone to pound on. Since your stepbrother’s nowhere near, it worked. Anymore stupid questions, Beth? Or, do you think I could be left alone so I can drag my sorry ass into the shower before the soreness sets in?”

In the time we’ve been together, Skull has been in several different moods, but not once, even when he was in his most irate, has he ever treated me like this. I know I’ve hurt him and I may even deserve him being hateful, but how much worse would he be if he knew the full extent of what I’m thinking? Can I live with myself if I hurt him? I’ve got to think.
God, I have to think
…
I have to breathe…

“Skull, don’t treat me like this, please.”

I hate that when I talk to him, I can hear the desperation in my voice, the weakness, the fear. I am not a weak person. You don’t live through cancer by being weak. I’m a survivor. But tonight, I feel weak. Tonight, I feel like my world is coming apart at the seams. I saw my father today for the first time in forever, the same father who didn’t even bother to contact me when I thought I was going to die, the same father who took my sister and left me with a mother who didn’t really care for me, the same father who didn’t comfort me or hold me when my sister died. I found out the man also ran the family that I’ve come to hate. I found out I’m not just married into that family but a part of them. I found out that my sister is alive. I turned down a marriage proposal from the man I love and hurt him. I’m contemplating leaving him forever.

How much can a woman stand before she breaks? It doesn’t matter how fucking strong she is; there has to be a point when she shatters. I’m so fucking close to the edge right now, I know I’m going to fall over it and break into so many pieces that there will be nothing left.
Nothing
.

Surely I can be forgiven for sounding weak.

“Treat you like what? Maybe I’m not remembering right, but I’m pretty sure I asked you to marry me. You’re the one that turned me down.”

“I didn’t have a choice!”

“I guess not. I don’t want to fight about this anymore, Beth. You made your decision, and it’s done. I’m sore, I’m tired. I have to get started early tomorrow. So I’m going to shower and sleep.”

He turns away from me to get undressed. I feel desperation cling to my insides. I want to scream.

“This isn’t all about you, Skull! You don’t get to just shut me out!” I yell. His back is to me and he’s bent over adjusting the shower knob. He turns to me. Any other time, I’d be caught up in the brilliance that is Skull totally nude and standing before me. Now, I’m only hypnotized by the anger radiating in his eyes.

“It’s starting to show,” he whispers, his voice deadly.

Show? Show what?

“This is where it starts to show,” he growls, grabbing a soap holder off the bathroom sink and slamming it against the wall. I duck, despite myself, then look up at him in shock.

“What are you talking about?” I ask, my heart beating hard.

“You’re too motherfucking young. All about me, sweetheart? Fucking hell,
mujer!
You’re the one it’s revolving around. I took my men into war for you! I’m putting everything I care about on the line for you. It’s not about me, it’s all wrapped up in
you
and
you
can’t even bring yourself to marry me! Fuck this shit!” he growls, then pushes his way around me and leaves the bathroom.

Like an idiot, I chase after him. “Where are you going??”

“I don’t know, Beth. What do you care? I’m going to go find a drink, maybe a fucking bunch of them, then maybe find some pussy I can fuck and forget, because it’s fucking clear I don’t have what it takes to claim a woman.” 

“You aren’t leaving this room!”

“Try and stop me, Sweetheart.”

“You can’t sleep with another woman! You said you loved me!”

“You said
you
loved
me,
” he growls in return, standing there staring at me like I’m insane. Maybe I am. I’m so emotionally spent, I literally could be. I just know I will die if Skull goes and find one of the women who hang around the club. I couldn’t handle it.

“I do!”

“Then marry me!”

“I don’t want to rush off and get married just because we may not have tomorrow!” I cry. The tears break and I can’t hold them back if I tried. They fall so hard and fast that I can’t catch my breath. Sobs rake through me and I look at Skull with my heart torn apart. “I want to walk down an aisle and know that I get you forever. That I will never be without you, not even for a day.” Skull stands there looking at me and I can do nothing but cry. “I want a fairytale,” I whisper inanely, sinking to the floor and giving in to my misery.

I watch as she sinks to the floor. Her small body rocks with the force of her sorrow and I feel like a jackass a million times over, even as my anger still simmers. I rub the stress headache I feel banging against my forehead and close my eyes, wishing things were different. Then, I go to my woman and gather her up in my arms. I carry her to the bathroom and sit on the commode with her while I tug at her clothes, gently pulling them from her body.

“What… are… you doing?” she asks, shuddering between each word, the tears not bothering to slow down.

“We’re going to take a shower.”

“I thought… you were leaving… me.”

Once I have her undressed, I carry her into the shower. Luckily, the water is still hot even though we’ve left it running all this time. I lower her, keeping a hold on her neck so her tear-filled eyes stay on mine.

“I was upset. I’m not leaving you, Beth. It was all talk. You’re the only woman I want, the only woman I will ever want for the rest of my life.” I bend down and take her lips. The salt of her tears mingles with the sweet of her mouth. I let my tongue soothe her, plunder her, and love her all in one kiss. She’s mine. Regardless of what happens, I never want her to forget that fact. When we break apart, the sadness still in her eyes physically hurts me. I walk her backwards further into the water and help her tilt her head. Once I have her hair completely wet, I move her again, and this time my back is to the water while I pour shampoo into my palm and begin washing her hair. “Will you promise me something,
querida?”

“What?” she asks, her head going back as I massage her hair with my fingers, lathering it.

“That once I prove to you that we will survive this and everything will be okay, you will marry me. I’ll even give you the fucking fairytale if that’s what you want.”

She goes quiet, and I find myself wishing I could see her face.

“I promise,” she whispers, her voice thick with emotion.

With her agreement, I feel a little better. I rinse and condition her hair. I love the feel of it, so silky smooth in my hands, and the weight of the water pins it to me. I’ve never washed a woman’s hair before; never felt the need. Beth isn’t like anyone else, though. I love her. I’m so busy thinking about all of the emotions I have tangled up in Beth that my body jerks in shock as I feel her hand on my stomach.

“What are you doing,
mi cielo?”

“Bathing my husband,” she whispers, a bar of soap in her hand as she moves it over my body.

“Your husband?” I ask, watching as she pulls back so she can rub the soap between her hands. Once she has enough lather, she puts the soap on the small shelf. Her small hands wash up my chest. She pulls on the rings I have looped in my nipples. The sting of pain goes straight to my dick and I growl. 

“I, Beth, take you, Skull, as my lawfully-wedded husband,” she says, still teasing my nipples but kissing down my stomach. My head goes back in pleasure and my eyes close as I drink in the sensations. “To have and to hold,” she whispers at the same time her hand wraps around my cock, squeezing and holding it tightly. “I pledge to love you for the rest of my life, to put your welfare before my own, to ease your burden, to bring you comfort,” she goes on. As she strokes my cock, her lips suck my nipple into her mouth and her tongue pulls hard on the ring.

“Oh fuck, Beth,” I groan.

“I promise from this day forward I will belong to you and no one else for the rest of my life,” she whispers against my chest before biting the nipple and kissing down my stomach, going to her knees.

“Beth,” I moan as her hands cup my balls and rub them, her fingers petting them right before she takes them into her wet, warm mouth, sucking them and torturing them with her tongue. “Fuck, baby,” I groan, unable to remember anything feeling so good. She hums against them and I swear I can feel that fucking vibration through my entire body. She releases them from her mouth slowly, sucking until the last minute and releasing each of my balls with a soft
plop
from her lips.

“I promise to worship your cock every chance I get,” she whispers, looking like a fucking sex goddess with the water running down her naked body, sitting on her knees in front of me as her tongue slides up my hard shaft. She licks it like fucking ice cream. When she makes it to the head, her tongue dives into the hidden crease, seeking pre-cum and making my body tighten in need. My hands twist in her hair as I watch the show she’s giving me. Blood thrums in my ears and my balls are already swollen with the need to unload.

“Now
that’s
a fucking vow,” I growl just as those big beautiful lips of hers begin a long, slow, teasing glide down my shaft.
Jesus, fuck
. Nothing better… there’s just nothing better the world has to offer. I pet the side of her face as her cheeks hollow out and she sucks my cock tight in her mouth, her tongue sliding and pleasuring as I go deep into her throat. When I hit the back, I think she’ll pull away, completely expecting it, but Beth keeps going. I break through the tight valley as she swallows around my head. Her throat encloses me, working my shaft. “Motherfucker, that feels good,” I praise her, my fingers clenching wildly into her hair, not wanting her to stop, unable to keep from touching her. She pulls off of me, but just a little, before she goes back down. Her beautiful gray eyes watch mine the entire time. When her hand cups my balls, squeezing and kneading them right before she takes me into her throat again, I lose it. Heat slides down my spine as I watch my woman give me the greatest fucking blowjob in the history of blowjobs. Even as I think it, I know it’s more: she’s giving me a piece of her soul. I see it in her eyes, I hear it in her words, I feel it in the way she loves me. That’s what it is: love. I may have no experience before Beth, but I feel it now. I feel every bit of it.

She pulls back off my cock, holding me in her hand, her lips just at the head and her eyes still on mine. “I vow to love you for the rest of my life and whatever comes after,” she says, and I know she’s sincere. I feel it.

Then, she takes me all the way back in again, but this time her movements are less slow and tantalizing and more desperate and needy. She bobs up and down on my cock, demanding my cum. I feel my pre-cum running out, my balls so fucking tight it feels like they might tear free from my body. Beth growls against my cock. The vibration rocks me.

“I’m going to come, Beth,” I warn her, but even as I say it, my cum is barreling out. It jets out into her waiting throat. I yell out her name. I can’t remember ever coming this hard. Beth growls in response, her fingernails biting into my thigh, her other hand tight on my cock as she sucks me harder and harder, draining every damn drop.

I lean against the back of the shower wall. My fucking legs are shaking from the orgasm I just had. I look down at my woman, thinking to praise her. Her sweet little tongue comes up to gather some cum that was left in the corner of her mouth. Water pours down the side of her body. Her eyes are full of emotion and she’s making sure she drinks the last ounce of cum I’ve given her. Even with all that beauty that is Beth, I’m still surprised when she leans into my body, buries her head against my cock and bites into my thigh, marking me with her teeth.

I thought I was spent, but just like that, I know I’m going to have her again. My dick is already demanding it.