Captive Heart (55 page)

They complimented her upon her delicate touch with needle and thread and provided her with a large basket of garments that needed repair. Far from being insulted by the humble task, Celiese found sewing as pleasurable as it had been when she’d been with Olgrethe. With her hands occupied in useful work, she was able to contemplate her future without being rushed to make any decisions for the present. But it was Mylan who occupied all her thoughts. She soon realized she’d been a poor wife to him, for she’d failed to make him understand how dearly he was loved. Something else had always taken precedence: winning her freedom, coming home, regaining her estate all important quests, but empty victories when he was not there to share them. More often than not she found herself in tears, upset at the slightest obstacle, even if it was no more than a broken thread, or the fact that she was late to chapel. Her thinking was becoming more clear each day, but, sadly, her emotional turmoil had not lessened. She missed Mylan too greatly to concentrate on any task fully without his handsome face’s filling her thoughts. The memories of his smile and his kiss were most precious, but they brought an agony, as well, for they were a continuous reminder of what she had lost.

Finding her daughter seated beneath a window to take advantage of the sunlight while she did her mending, Marie sat down upon the bench beside her to talk for a moment. After mentioning several other topics, she came to the true reason for their conversation. “You are happy here, aren’t you? Content with the life we live?”

Attempting to be as tactful as she could, Celiese agreed. “Yes, your hospitality is most gracious, and I am more than content.” As content as possible without Mylan, she did not add, but that was the truth of her situation.

Clearing her throat nervously, Marie continued quickly, hoping to convince Celiese to accept her suggestion without argument. “Mylan is a Dane, Celiese, his conversion quite recent, and from the way in which he deserted you I’d say it was most insincere. When you are certain you are not carrying his child, I think we should seek an annulment of your marriage so that you might join our order.”

At the mention of a child, Celiese blushed deeply. “It is too soon for me to be positive, Mama, but each day I grow more certain, and an annulment would be most inappropriate if I am to bear Mylan’s child.”

Devastated by that possibility, Marie was near tears as she rose to her feet. “We must pray such a travesty does not come to pass, for now that you are free of the man, the last thing you need is the responsibility of rearing his son.”

“He would be my son as well, or perhaps I will have a daughter, Mama, your grandchild. Can you not think of a babe in those terms?” Celiese hardly dared hope she was pregnant, but if she were, she knew she would love Mylan’s baby as dearly as she’d loved him. With a smile she thought how shocked he would be to hear he had an heir; it was an even better surprise than she’d hoped to give him by completing her house without his help.

Before Marie could respond, the stone walls of the ancient convent reverberated with a din as deafening as thunder, growing in intensity as the small wooden door at the entrance creaked and groaned under repeated blows from a battering ram. Celiese lay her mending aside as she leapt to her feet. With her mother’s help, she managed to wrench open the narrow leaded glass window so they could look down upon the scene below. Marie was terrified at the sight of the six muscular Danes who were moving back with carefully measured steps, preparing to strike the splintered door another fearsome blow. Celiese, however, called down to the tall blond man standing to one side who had been shouting directions. This time she remembered to use his Christian name. “Michael, if you wished to see me, you needed to do no more than ring the bell and I would have come to the door.”

“That is your husband?” Marie gasped in horror, her fair skin growing deathly pale. The young man had not only height and obvious strength, but the beauty of a god, as well. The sun sparkled upon his tawny curls, and his light eyes glowed with the golden gleam of a wildcat’s as he looked up at her. He was the most attractive of men, but that did not diminish her fear, and she gripped her daughter’s arm tightly, “Do not let him break down the door! Send him away at once, he must not be allowed to enter!”

The terror in her expression was too real for Celiese not to readily comprehend its cause, and she hugged her mother warmly as she attempted to reassure her that there was nothing to fear. “Mylan has come to speak with me, Mama, not to harm you or any of the other dear sisters. You will see, please have faith in me if you cannot as yet have any in him.”

Looking out again, Celiese saw the young men had dropped the log they’d carried and had moved back to stare up at her. Waving, she called to her husband, “I will be but a moment, please wait for me.” Stopping to be certain her mother had recovered from her initial shock at finding so threatening a group of young men at her door, she ran from the room and with flying steps hurried down the winding staircase to reach the first floor. Several of the younger sisters were working together to push heavy pieces of furniture behind the battered door in an attempt to keep the men outside from forcing the entrance, and Celiese had first to convince them to move the makeshift barricade aside before she could leave.

Once unlocked, the old door dangled precariously on its hinges, but with the assistance of the sisters she was able to open it wide enough to slip through. She smiled at the men she recognized from the Surf Falcon, and they grinned sheepishly in return, obviously embarrassed to have been involved in so unnecessary an assault. Mylan, on the other hand, seemed merely astonished, and none of the pretty speeches she had been rehearsing in her mind to greet him seemed appropriate when he’d arrived bent on storming the walls rather than politely requesting she speak with him. Thinking she should hear the explanation for the violence of his action first, she held her tongue and waited for him to speak.

Mylan could not believe the ease with which Celiese had simply walked out to meet him as if he’d knocked in a gentlemanly fashion upon the convent door, and he felt utterly ridiculous for having behaved in so outrageous a manner. She looked even more beautiful than he had remembered, which he had not thought possible. Her smile was enchanting, her fair complexion glowing with the bloom of health, her shimmering curls falling loose about her shoulders, and as always the desire she inspired overwhelmed him and he blurted out the first thought that came to his mind. “They allow you to wear your own clothing rather than requiring you to dress as the others do?”

Celiese glanced down at the pretty silk gown, pleased by his admiring glance. He apparently still thought her attractive. “Why yes, of course, for I am no more than a visitor here.” Suddenly realizing the nature of his concern, she inquired softly, “Is that what you thought, that I’d entered the convent?”

Mylan glanced up at the frightened faces peeking out of the narrow windows of the upper stories of the large stone edifice. He attempted to give the ladies a reassuring smile, but none of their expressions changed to more friendly ones, which didn’t surprise him. He’d undoubtedly scared them all nearly witless, and he could think of no suitable way to apologize for mounting such a senseless attack upon their home. “I had expected to find you at your house. André was there with some other men who were gathering stones. He said only the name of the convent, and I remembered your telling me that when women entered the order they remained inside forever.” While his mistake was an understandable one, he was appalled by the enormity of his error.

Celiese wanted only to throw her arms around Mylan and cover his face with lavish kisses, but she waited patiently for a more appropriate time to display the affection that filled her heart to overflowing. “I can see how you misunderstood his message, and I am certain if you and your men would be so kind as to repair the door, you will be forgiven for the rashness of your actions. I will explain to the sisters that you did not realize my stay here was only temporary, and they will then understand why your reaction was such a desperate and reckless one.” At least she hoped they would be sympathetic, but she knew she would have to use her most forceful arguments to convince them her handsome Danish husband had only the purest of motives when he’d mounted such a furious assault upon the residence they considered sacred.

Blushing with embarrassment, Mylan pointed to the damaged door. “What is left of that door is beyond repair; we will have to make a new one.”

“That will be even better. I am certain they will appreciate it,” Celiese offered agreeably. “Now would you care to walk a few paces into the woods with me where we can discuss the reason for your visit without attracting so much attention?” Taking his arm, she gestured toward the forest that surrounded the convent walls, and he readily accepted her suggestion. But once they could no longer be observed, he seemed unable to find any explanation for what he’d done, so she attempted to prompt him. “You frightened my mother, as well as all the others, quite badly. Perhaps after she has had time to regain her composure, I can convince her to come to the entrance so that I may introduce you to her.”

“I doubt she’ll want to bother after that ridiculous display of stupidity!” Mylan was furious with himself, but he’d thought her lost to him forever and he had gone after her in the only way he’d known how. However, his deed had not been the heroic one he’d imagined, but merely foolish, and he did not like that feeling one bit.

Seeing a fallen log, Celiese sat down upon it as she continued to give her husband her full attention. “I am not angry with you, please don’t be so mad at yourself. We are quite alone here; now what was it you wished to say to me that was so urgent? I will be happy to listen for as long as it takes you to explain.”

Since her expression held only concern and not ridicule, Mylan went to her side, but he sat down upon the carpet of fallen leaves and leaned back against the log, hoping his task would be an easier one if he did not have the distraction of her beauty with which to contend. “You told me once that I should be patient, that even as man and wife you and I were strangers still, and that misunderstandings were sure to occur between us. Do you recall that conversation?”

With a sweet smile, Celiese recalled the exact time and place. “Yes, we were in your father’s home, in your room, in fact. We had just gone there after leaving the party celebrating our marriage.” His marriage to Olgrethe, she was tempted to say, but thought better of it.

“Yes, and I had only one thought on my mind. You were a far more lovely bride than I’d dared hope to have, bright and so considerate, but you were right in saying we were strangers. I thought we’d have a lifetime to become well acquainted, but that one night was all we had. I did not mean to be such a poor husband to you, to accept you that night and then turn my back upon you at dawn.”

Surprised by his candor, Celiese reached out to give his shoulder a comforting pat, and he took her hand in his, bringing her palm to his lips for a sweet kiss. “We have never had the time to become friends, have we? So much has happened to us, so many terrible things, and we’ve never had the time to simply get to know one another as we should have in the beginning.”

“It might have happened when we were on my farm, if only I’d not kept insisting you were my slave. I was such a fool then, and obviously I am still one today.”

“You are no fool, Michael, please don’t even think that, for the evidence was always against me, and you cannot help that your mind is a most logical one.”

That she would not insult him even when he deserved it pleased Mylan greatly, and he reached up to pull her down across his lap where he hugged her tightly. “I should not have left you as I did, but I thought it was my only choice that morning. You seemed to delight in tormenting me with problems I thought you created yourself, but when I finally decided to leave you I found it was impossible for me to go.”

“What do you mean? You were gone, when I went down to the beach your ship had simply vanished.” Celiese knew that for a fact.

“That’s true enough, but the second day of our voyage we ran into a fog bank that seemed endless. I tried not to think about you, but I couldn’t keep your striking beauty from filling my mind. Finally I gave in to my memories and began to wonder how things might have been different for us. When it dawned on me that if I had accepted all you told me as the truth from the beginning, then everything would have fallen neatly into place. I came back as fast as I could make the Falcon fly through the waves. I swear to you that in the very instant I decided to change our course the fog lifted and the wind grew brisk, to give us the speed we’d need. A very minor miracle perhaps, but one for which I am sincerely grateful.”

Celiese hesitated to comment for a long moment. The silence between them was not an awkward one, however, but quite comfortable. Finally, she spoke. “Please do not misunderstand me, but I think the days we’ve been apart have helped us both to see our lives more clearly. I have been a very poor wife; whether you considered us married or not, I failed you in so many important ways.”

“Oh, Celiese,” Mylan argued impatiently. “The fault was all mine, every damn time.”

“It takes two to argue, Michael, and you must admit we had fights aplenty.” Celiese was ready to argue this point, too.

“At least you remember my name now, that is an improvement.” He had missed her so terribly, and yet now merely holding her in his arms filled him with a contentment he’d thought he’d not ever experience again.

“I am attempting to change for the better, truly I am. I know I do need to be more thoughtful, and to curb my temper. You were the one who convinced Robert to let me have my estate again, and I did not even take the time to thank you for your help. That was why I came to the convent, to learn how I might be a better person, because I knew you’d come back some day and I didn’t want to lose you again.”