Captivated (8 page)

Which is why she trusted them more than she would have in any other circumstance. They’d been nothing but her champions and had listened to what she needed, not just what others thought she did.

And because of them and that understanding, this time her eyes fluttered open and adjusted to the lower light of evening. No tears. The trembling in her hands and legs was gone too.

As she lay there, getting her bearings, she let herself find comfort in her room. Lights were on in the rest of the house and she could see the outline of her chair at the window. The chair Vincenz had brought her. With the wrap Julian had left on the seat for her to discover when she sought the space out to read or just daydream.

When she turned just a little she heard them.

The soft sounds of hushed speaking. Mumbling?

Her eyes fully adjusted as she set to remove the cap. And her hands stilled as she realized just what it was she was hearing.

A tremble went through her, but it wasn’t from fear. No, it was something she hadn’t felt in over a year.

Julian was bent over the worktable in the main room. The light gleamed off his bare legs and ass. Strong, powerful thighs. Tawny skin. He was so very big and braw. Vincenz stood behind him, one arm around Julian’s waist, his hand clearly on Julian’s cock.

A flush heated her neck and face.

She’d never, in her life, seen anything so beautiful. Breath quieted, she watched, unable to tear her gaze from Vincenz’s ass as he thrust forward. Until Julian groaned, ragged.

Afraid to move or even breathe loudly and break the spell, she watched, her gaze snagged on this powerfully sexy and intimate moment between her two saviors. Vincenz groaned.

“All the way in. You’re so fucking tight.”

Julian’s response was a strangled laugh. “Move. You’re going to kill me if you don’t move.”

“Wouldn’t want that.” Vincenz leaned down and kissed Julian’s neck and the tenderness of the moment tore at her. Strong, brusque Julian went soft when he was with them in private. And this … well this was beyond her wildest imaginings. Though she had imaginings in her life, she was pretty sure she couldn’t have made up something as hot as what she watched just then as Vincenz began to move, fucking Julian.

She swallowed hard as Vincenz braced his hands on Julian’s shoulders.

“Fuck your fist.”

She blinked several times and held absolutely still, not wanting to interrupt and not wanting the moment to end.

Julian moved his hand and she wished so much that she could see just exactly what he was doing then. Wondered what he looked like stroking his cock.

This was wrong. It was wrong to spy on them. She knew it. But she couldn’t look away or close her eyes even though she knew it’s what manners dictated.

Vincenz continued to murmur to Julian. “So, so good. I never imagined it could be this good.”

Julian’s movements sped and she imagined what he would feel like in her hand. She opened her fist, flexing her fingers. The wave of this newly surfaced sexual desire washed through her. Quieting the chaos. It was as if her body and her brain realized there were other things
to feel. Remembered things like pleasure and joy. She did close her eyes then, against tears of relief that she hadn’t completely died inside and been left with only the capacity to survive at the basest of levels.

In the background she heard a snarl and opened her eyes to watch the last moments of this beauty between Julian and Vincenz. Heard Julian’s moan. “Gods, yes, yes, right there.” He hissed and then Vincenz’s posture straightened as he cursed.

“Can’t last. Gonna blow.”

And then he pushed in a few more times and with a long moan, stilled for several moments before pulling his shirt off and cleaning Julian up. They stood, face-to-face, smiling. They had something, and instead of envy, she was grateful to see it. Grateful to know such connection existed still in the world after she’d been in the dark for so long.

They moved into the washroom, still talking quietly, only now about work, she could tell.

When they came out, she gave them a few more minutes before she began to stir loudly enough they heard and came in.

“You’re awake.” Julian bent to kiss her. The same way he had for the time she’d been there. A brief, comforting touch to reassure her. But this time on the mouth. A whisper of a touch. And she gulped, licking across her lips and tasting him.

His gaze snared with hers and she realized she’d probably burst into tears if he apologized.
Please, not pity.

“There you are,” Julian murmured as if there’d been no pause and made it better. He removed the last few electrodes carefully.

Vincenz fluffed the pillow at her back and helped her to sit up. “I bet you’d like to eat.” He kissed her temple and she scented clean sweat and Julian.

“I’m not very hungry.” Her head didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel
bad. She wasn’t in pain. But it felt as if someone had riffled through it, like a drawer of clothing. Pesch had warned her, but it left her off balance and out of control.

Which wasn’t so very uncommon anyway.

“You should eat. You didn’t touch your meal earlier. But if you don’t want to, at least have a cup of tea.”

“I know you have work to do. I know where the kitchen is if I need to eat.”

“If you don’t eat what I cook, I have less opportunity to cook. It really is about me.” Julian winked and kissed her knuckles. Sex apparently made him jovial. Watching other people have sex made
her
sort of antsy and sweaty.

“Would you like me to run you a bath? You can do that first and then eat?” Vincenz used to brush the hair back from her face, but he seemed to realize she needed that veil to block out the world. So now he drew a fingertip down her jawline.

There was so much other stuff all the sudden. Like a ship, she mentally and emotionally listed to the side. Some of the anger had gone, but the other emotions, long repressed and absent from her life in the time she was held at the lab, had returned.

“Hey.” Vincenz simply pulled her into his embrace. “Would you like to talk about it?”

“No.” She tried to shake her head, but he held her so tight she couldn’t move. And that’s when a rush of pleasure brought a gasp from her lips. So much sensation to be held so tight. So much dark sweetness that she could struggle in his hold and it wasn’t fear. It felt so
good
to be totally surrounded. The sheer amount of sensation was ramped up a thousandfold. Gooseflesh broke out.

She was wrong to feel this way. Wasn’t she?

“Are you all right? Did I hurt you?” He pulled away, examining her flaming face.

“No. No.” She licked her lips and he looked, just a little too long. Was it too long? Did she imagine? Yes. It was the treatment stirring stuff up, had to be.

Hannah shook her head again, this time firmly. “You didn’t hurt me.” She could still see the way they looked together. He wasn’t interested and she was not a good bet anyway.

She needed to learn how to live again. On her own.

“I’ll run my own bath.”

Julian looked to Vincenz and it annoyed her enough to get out of bed.

“Do you want company?” Julian looked at her carefully.

That was a good question and one she didn’t know if she could answer. She did, of course, like it when they were around, but she wouldn’t be there forever.

“I can do things on my own.” She stomped to the door and turned, sorry. “I apologize. You’ve both been so good to me. I’m out of sorts right now.”

Julian snorted. “You’re entitled, you know.”

“I’m not an animal. I’m capable of acting like a human being. Eventually I’ll have to go about my life. When my parents are contacted I’ll go to them. You can’t possibly keep me here much longer. I know you have jobs to do.” Watching them together showed her they had a life. They’d let her share in it, never made her feel excluded. But the fact was, she wasn’t a soldier and they were at war.

And she felt fragile, brittle in places. To go depending on these men when that wasn’t how things worked would be stupid.

“Are you unhappy here?” Vincenz asked, simply following her into the bathing suite and opening the taps to fill the tub.

“I’m all sorts of things,” she mumbled, standing motionless in the doorway.

“This is your home as long as you wish it to be.” Vincenz walked back past and retrieved a drying cloth.

She sighed and pulled her clothes off, not thinking about it until she stood naked and his eyes skated down her body. Then she blushed. Again. “I’m sorry. I say I’m not an animal and then flash you.”

His smile settled her jangled nerves a little. “I’ve seen a lot of animals.” He shrugged. “None of them look like you.” He put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her lightly. “Get in and soak. We’ll be just outside getting a meal together and working. Come when you want to.”

She stepped into the tub and sighed at the warmth. This was something else she couldn’t seem to get enough of. Baths and showers had been totally absent while she’d been in the lab. Her entire body submerged in nearly scalding hot water was a delicious treat. Julian joked she was going to grow a tail where her legs used to be and turn into a sea nymph. She found some peace in the large bathing tub. Weightless, she could close her eyes as the water supported her, surrounding her. Like a warm, full-body hug.

She knew they’d ask her how she felt. How she thought the treatment was going. Or worse, that they
wanted
to ask but thought she was too fragile to say. But really she just didn’t know. She hadn’t felt normal in so long she wasn’t sure she’d even know it again. But the anger that sat in her belly like acid seemed to have lessened enough for her to take a deep breath.

She did, filling her lungs and then falling beneath the waterline to listen to the world that way. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears until she came back up. Alive still. The thing they hadn’t stolen from her.

Her anger had lessened and now she was sort of titillated by what she’d seen. The difference in how these two things felt was enough to give her pause. The memories of her life before had begun to flit
around her brain and she hoped they’d settle in so she could figure out whatever it was they did to her and why.

No matter how much she’d wanted to stay in the tub and ignore the other two, the scent on the air as Julian began to cook set her system to rebel against her dumb ideas. Her stomach growled enough to make her sigh and go about the business of getting clean.

I
t had been over two months since she’d come to live in Mirage with Julian and Vincenz. Six weeks of the treatment. Pesch had eased it back to twice a day from three times.

She’d expected the transition to be easier and found herself frustrated that it in fact had not been.

“My head is a jumble.” She narrowed her gaze at him when she’d come out of treatment to find him at their kitchen table.

“You’ll adjust in a day or two. Your system was used to three times a day and you’ve just given it less. I told you it would be difficult at first but then easier.” He sipped his kava and she felt the irrational need to smack it out of his hands.

Julian came in through the front door. He’d been gone four days on some mission somewhere. Vincenz had been gone for two of those four days and she’d been there with Pesch, who had left her alone when she’d wanted it. She hadn’t needed a babysitter, but she’d
appreciated not being alone in the middle of the night when she woke up from a bad dream.

“I’m home and I have a present for you, beautiful Hannah.” He handed her a bright blue package and she sat at the table to unwrap it. First the silky ribbon it was tied with, which she set to the side carefully.

He watched patiently, never urging her to just rip it open as many would have.

“It has two sides.” Delighted, she discovered the bright blue outside had a sunset orange inside. “Like fruit.”

“When you cut into it,” Julian said to Dr. Pesch, who nodded, understanding Hannah’s comment.

Inside the little box lay nestled a pair of earrings. Red glass with threads of silver all shot through it.

“I thought they would catch the light.”

She smiled at him. “Thank you.” She put them on and tried not to hurry from the room so she could look at them in the mirror in her bedchamber.

They did catch the light beautifully when she wore her hair away from her face. He thought he was so sneaky, that man. She laughed to herself. He liked her hair back and so he enticed her to do it. It was so adorable she pretended she didn’t know what he was up to.

She could do that. In their home with one of them there. She caught some back from each side of her face and clipped it back with the combs he’d brought her only a week or two before.

He grinned when she returned. “They look beautiful on you.”

She sat back at the table trying not to get caught inhaling him. The sun had left an imprint on his skin, he smelled warm and strong. “Thank you again.”

“Dr. Pesch says Vincenz has been gone this week as well? I’m sorry to have left you without one of us.”

“I’m fine. You have a job to do.” She was so pleased to see him she had to give herself a stern mental talking-to not to rub herself against him. “I went to two treatments a day.”

He squeezed her hand and pushed a slice of cake in her direction.

“Cake!”

Julian laughed then and kissed her quickly. “I’m glad you’re pleased.”

“Pleased is a mild word for what I feel.” She leaned forward and then turned to him a little. “Having my hair back is a good thing so I won’t get frosting in it.”

He received those words like the gift they were and enjoyed himself watching her breathe in the chocolate in her cake. A weakness for sweets, had their Hannah. It pleased him unbelievably to bring her pleasure. To tempt her, spoil.

She picked up the fork as she examined the cake until she’d decided just exactly where she wanted to cut into it. The perfect ratio of cake to frosting as she raised it to her lips, took a breath and slid the fork into her mouth as she made a sound that shot straight to his cock.