Can't Let Go (22 page)

“I
was
happy, Daddy.  All those years ago—I was
more
than happy.  I had Hayley.  I had Logan.  I had a bright future ahead of me.”  She shook her head.  “What do I have now?” 

And suddenly, she knew the answer to that.  She touched her hands to her stomach, the tears in her eyes fading. 

Her father took advantage of her silence, doing his best to explain himself and console his daughter.  He didn’t notice that she no longer needed consoling.  “I was foolish, Abby.  I know it’s late—and I’m sorry.  But when you told me that Hayley had died—it nearly killed me.  Not because it was Hayley, but because it could have been
you.
  You’re the most important thing in this world to me, my dear.  And all I want is for you to be happy.  I don’t care if you find it with Logan—or with Eric—or with some homeless man on the street.”  He paused. 

“All I care is that you
find
it.”

It was as if everything was falling into place.  It didn’t even matter to Abby that she had her father’s blessing—because, for once, she had her
own
. 

“Abigail?”  She realized that she hadn’t spoken for several moments and she turned to her father, her eyes wide—and, for the first time in many months—maybe even years, they were
awake
. 

“I can’t be here, Daddy.”  She shook her head, reaching back to try to undo her dress.  There was a new urgency within her. 

“Abby—”

“I can’t
do
this.  I just—this isn’t what I want.  This has
never
been what I wanted.”  She reached up and tore the veil from her hair, taking with it the pins that had held her hair firmly in place.  “This isn’t where I’m meant to be.”

“Where are you going?”  Her father asked, eyeing her curiously. 

“Anywhere but here.”
  She felt a frenzied ball of laughter erupt inside her throat.  “I love him, Daddy.”  She laughed. 

“Love who?”

“Logan.  I love him—now, always—
forever
.”  She was six years ago now, back on the beach.  He’d promised her forever that night, knowing that he was leaving.  Knowing that he would never love another like he loved her. 

And, at last, Abby could say the same. 

She would love Logan Sheppard forever.  She would love him for the man he had always been—it had nothing to do with wealth or status.  He could be a pauper sleeping in an alley somewhere and he would still be just as appealing. 

“And I’m going to have his baby, Dad.”  She leaned forward, excitedly pressing her lips to her father’s cheek.  “I’m going to be a mom—and
he
is going to be an amazing father.”

“Don’t you think you should try the marriage thing first?”  He asked
,
his eyes twinkling as he saw the happiness that his daughter was suddenly enveloped in. 

“It’s too late—it’s already started.”  She was glowing—absolutely radiant.  He offered her a confused look, uncertain of what she was trying to say.  “In about six months, you’re going to be a grandfather.”  She watched as his eyes widened.

“You’re—?”  Abby nodded, smiling from ear to ear. 
“And Logan?”
  She nodded again. 

“It was the best mistake I’ve made in my entire life.”  She began to step toward the door.  “And he doesn’t even know!”  She began fumbling with the remaining pins in her hair, feeling too constricted.  She needed to be free of
all
of this—of this entire charade.  She knew where her life was—and it wasn’t
here
.  “I have to go to him—I can make it to Sacramento—”

“No, Abigail—no, Logan isn’t going back to Sacramento.” 

“What?”  She turned, confused.  How would her father know where Logan was going to? 

“Logan—he’s going back east.  His firm is branching out—he just finished building a house—”

“He’s leaving? 
Today?”
  The urgency within her grew even stronger.  “But—”

“I’m sure he hasn’t left yet—”
  Of
course—he would have to go to the airport.  She had to hurry—she had to catch him before he left.  She hurried toward the door once more, yanking the door open, calling for Jenny.  The young woman appeared instantly, as if she had been waiting for the call.  Abby waved her in without delay. 

“I—I can’t be here, Jenny.  I have somewhere to be—”

“I was hoping you would say that.”

“But I can’t—it’s
suffocating
me.”  She gestured to the dress and Jenny laughed.

“This is something I can fix.”  Jenny leaned over Abby’s shoulder.  “You might not want to stick around for this part, sir.”  Martin seemed to realize what was about to take place and he laughed.

“Well, I think I have some news to deliver.  There are guests waiting for an event that was never meant to take place.” 

“Thank you, Daddy,”
  Abby
whispered as he passed by her.  He paused, turning to embrace his only daughter. 

“No, my dear—thank
you
.”  And with that, he turned, leaving the two young women behind.  Jenny immediately set to work, unclasping and unzipping until Abby was left standing in just her undergarments. 

“Good luck, Abby,”
  Jenny
wished as Abby pulled on the clothes she had worn to the church.  “Don’t worry about anything here—we’ll make sure it all gets taken care of.”

“You’re a good friend, Jenny.” 

“I try!”  She smiled boldly at Abby.  “Now go!” 

She didn’t need telling twice.  It was only a moment before she was dashing from the church doors out into the street, trying her hardest to hail a cab.  When she came up empty handed, her eyes landed on the limo that had brought her to the church. 

“Eric will just have to forgive me,”
  she
muttered as she threw herself into the backseat of the waiting car, instructing the driver to take her to the airport.

“Ceremony’s over a bit early, isn’t it?”  The man
asked,
a knowing smile on his face.

“It wasn’t meant to be.” 

It was amazing, the lightness that surrounded her.  She hadn’t felt so carefree, so
blissful
, in such a long time.  She felt whole again.  Like whatever had been missing was found, returned to its rightful place. 

All she needed to do was make it in time.  She had to find him—had to tell him that she loved him.  That she’d never stopped.  And that they had a
future
.  Together—one they’d already started without even planning it. 

It seemed to take forever to get to the airport, but as soon as they were near enough, Abby threw herself from the vehicle and darted inside the building, knowing how crazy she must look to anyone standing by.  A mad woman—with her hair still half styled and makeup flawless, dashing through the airport in an old pair of jeans and a worn t-shirt. 

But she didn’t care. 

Her only thought was of finding Logan. 

She kept her eyes
open,
searching for that disheveled hair she would recognize anywhere. 

And then she saw him.

He was nearing the security gate—almost to the point of no return. 

She had no choice.

“Logan!”  She yelled. 
Nothing.
  “Logan!”  She tried again, pushing closer, trying to get through to him.  “Logan!”  A few people had begun to turn around then, eyeing her curiously.  Abby began to point at him, trying to get others to get his attention for her. 

“Logan!”  She yelled as loud as she could.  At the same time, a generous neighbor had nudged Logan on the shoulder, pointing in Abby’s direction.

His eyes found hers immediately.  He didn’t even bother to grab his bags as he pushed passed everyone in line behind him, weaving his way through until he could find her.  Neither cared that they had suddenly become a spectacle—that all eyes were on them as they collided into one another.

“You still love me?”  She questioned, the memory of that night once again washing over her. 

“Forever, Abby.”
  He touched his lips to hers before showering her with kisses—her lips, her cheeks, her neck, her forehead. 
“Forever and ever.”
 

“Good—because I have a confession to make.”
  She pulled herself closer to him.  “Logan Sheppard, I am utterly and completely in love with you.  I have been since the night you kissed me on that rooftop, and I’m afraid I always will be.”

“That is quite a confession.”  The happiness was simply pouring off him. 

“I actually have another,”
  she
whispered into his ear. 

“I hope it’s as good as the first.”  Abby touched her lips to his neck, raising herself to his ear. 

“Well, I hope you’ve built a house large enough for three, wherever it is we’re going.”  She pulled away, so that she could find his eyes.  “Because it would seem that
we
are expecting.” 

“You mean—?”  Abby nodded. 

“You’re going to be a daddy, Logan. 
And a husband.
  And you’re going to have a loving wife who is
still
willing to give the world for you.”

“Shouldn’t I propose?” 

“I’ll give you a hint,”
  she
touched her lips to his once more.  “I’m a sure thing.” 

Abby stood in front of the mirror, taking in her reflection.  She wore a long white dress with very simple layers of chiffon, and a subtle design on the front.  Those who didn’t know she was pregnant would probably think she had only just put on a few extra pounds—that is, unless they
really
looked at her. 

She was luminous.

Her hair hung in long loose curls, her veil held on by a crown of small lavender colored lilacs.  She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, letting the scent wash over her. 

“Now this is more like it.”  The voice at her side said.  She turned to find Jenny standing near the doorway of the bedroom.  “You really do look stunning, Abby.”

“Thank you,”
  Abby
replied, feeling her cheeks redden.  “I’m so happy Jenny—it almost scares me.”

“You’ve earned it, Abigail Lewis.  It’s about time I see you smiling again!”  Jenny grinned, reaching up to tuck her brown curls behind her ear.  “I’m sorry Hayley can’t be here to see it.” 
Abby felt a ball form in her throat.
  Hayley would have loved this—it was everything Abby had ever wanted and more.  She could almost hear Hayley’s laughter in the distance, sounding off the walls. 

“It’s okay—I know she would have approved.”  There wasn’t a single doubt about it. 

A knock sounded on the door and she heard it crack open ever-so-slowly. 
“You girls about ready?”
  She was instantly taken back six years ago, his voice still as smooth as velvet.  Her heart fluttered wildly in her chest, as it always seemed to do in his presence. 

“Logan Sheppard!”
  It was Jenny who spoke, rushing over to the door.  Abby’s eyes followed her, catching a glimpse of the small library in the corner—the bed in the center of the room.  It was a warm setting—familiar.  “It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding!”

“Just one little
peek
?” 
he
pleaded.  Abby laughed, shaking her head.  Logan’s heart nearly melted as he heard the once again familiar jingle of Abby’s laughter. 

“If you don’t turn around and march yourself down to that alter—where you’re
supposed
to be, so help me—”  And Abby laughed again, hearing so much of Hayley in Jenny’s tone.  Hayley would approve of this as well. 

In the month or so that had passed since Abby had dashed away from the
alter,
she and Jenny had grown much closer.  Jenny had helped deal with the chaotic mess everything had ended up in, cleaning up the first non-wedding—and then she had helped throw together what some might call a “shot-gun” wedding only a few weeks later. 

“Alright, alright…I’m going.  But only because you seem like a woman who means what she says.”  Jenny laughed, nodding her head.

“You’re darn right I do!”  Abby heard the door close and a moment later, Jenny was at her side.  “If he wasn’t so cute, I’d tell you to stay up here even
longer
!” 

“He’s been waiting for quite some time for this day to come—can’t say that I blame him.”  She’d been waiting too—only she hadn’t quite known it.  Abby turned to her reflection once more, taking a deep breath.  “You think we’re about ready?”

“As ready as we’ll ever be!” 

“Good—let’s go get me married!”  She heard Hayley’s voice, echoing right along beside her own.  Memories washed over her and she welcomed them, holding on to each and every one.  She wanted Hayley to be here—Hayley, Blake, their baby.  She wanted to feel them all as if they were standing right beside her. 

Jenny opened the door leading from the bedroom, leading the way down the stairs to the place where Abby’s dad stood, waiting.  “I’ll give you two a minute,”
  she
said before ducking outside. 

“Wow, Abigail.”  Abby struggled against the tears that flooded her eyes—because she saw her father trying to do the same.  He reached up and touched his finger to the corner of his eye.  “This is exactly how it should be.” 

“Thank you, Daddy,”
  she
said, smiling as she stepped forward and hooked her arm through his.  “You know, I don’t think I’d be here if it wasn’t for you.”  Her father had confessed shortly after the non-wedding that he had found Logan and given him the invitation to the wedding. 

“Oh no, I’m certain you would have found your way here, Abby.  Maybe it would have taken some time—but this is where you belong.  You would have figured it out eventually.”  The older man leaned over and touched his lips to the top of his daughter’s head.  “Are you ready, dear?” 

She was more than ready.

“I love you, Abigail Lewis.”  Abby’s eyes
teared
up once more as she was taken back yet again. 

“That’s the last time you’ll be able to call me that, Daddy.”  And, at last, Martin Lewis lost his battle with his emotions.  A single tear rolled down his cheek.  Abby lifted her hand, wiping it away with her thumb.  “But don’t
worry,
I’ll always be your little girl.”