Candlemoth: A Holy City Romance (20 page)

“Families?”

“Yes, dear.  Families.”  He was silent, letting me think.

I clutched my hair.  Oh god. 

Families.  Other people.  I had never wanted to hurt other people.

“You understand what I’m saying here, don’t you, Lily?”

I nodded, covering my mouth.  I made a small, grey sound he must have interpreted as a yes.

              “Smart girl.  My heart goes out to you.  It really does.  But sometimes, when we love someone…” he sighed.  “We do the hard thing.”

              “I… goodbye, sir.  Thank you.”

              “Take a smile with you, kiddo.  These things sometimes repair themselves…”

I hung up.

              I thought of Ry, the flame in my belly I got whenever I was near him.  The hot, perfect shape of his gorgeous cock; his hands, his arms, his face.  The way I fitted to him, the way he moved in me so perfectly and made me feel a thousand things I’d never known really existed.

              He made me feel
alive
.  More alive than I’d ever felt.  And I loved him- everything about him.  The joy and the heat that danced in his eyes, the sound of his voice…

              Never again. 

              I picked up my phone.  I took a hard breath, and tapped out the message quickly.  It had to be short, or I wouldn’t be able to make it- it had to be crystal clear and diamond hard, or he wouldn’t believe it, even when it was the last thing he had of me.  But if I loved him, I had to do it. 

              “I can’t see you again.  We’re over.”

Quickly, I began to delete.  I deleted his messages, his emails.  I blocked his number, and then I deleted it.  Then I called Steve.  “I can’t explain this all to you now, but I need you to keep Ry away from my house.  I can’t see him again.  Ever.”

“Lily, I- he’s right here with me.”

“I know, dad,” I said.  My voice broke.  “Just do this for me.  No questions, okay?  I- can’t.”

“Lily-”

I hung up the phone.   I locked my doors and windows, and waited for the storm.