Cancer: Book 5 in a Young Adult Paranormal Romance Series (The Zodiac Twin Flame Series) (10 page)

‘When I turned sixteen, Nick invited me to his house alone. My father puffed his chest out as he helped me pick out what to wear. It was weird, like he was helping me get ready for a date or something. When it obviously wasn’t.’ Matt scratched his jaw. He hadn’t shaved in a day or two. I didn’t mind, though. In fact, it suited him. If only I could get close enough to take advantage. Maybe after we had finished the conversation, he would let me get near him. Hopefully, we could have our own conversation once we were alone.

‘When I got to Nick’s house, something wasn’t right. My father had said goodbye as I walked out the front door. He seemed sad but I didn’t know why. Things were about to change.’ Matt stared at his hands.

It was silent as we listened to him. In my mind, I urged him to carry on telling the story. He obviously needed to pause to process what he was saying. Leo cracked his knuckles as we waited for him to continue.

‘When I walked into the house, Nick’s men grabbed me and shoved a bag over my head. They dragged me out to a car and drove me away. That was when I realised I was about to be tested. They took me to a house in the country. The one where Aries and Cancer found me that day, when your mother had come looking for your father. That was my home for a year. That was when my real training began.’

‘Was it a bit like a concentration camp or something?’ Leo asked.

I stared at him, my mouth hanging open. How could he be so insensitive? Matt was baring his soul and Leo was being tactless. Not that it surprised me.

‘Just shut up, will you?’ Virgo spat.

Matt smiled slightly, ignoring them when Leo stuck his tongue out at Virgo. He was used to their antics by now. My face heated. Why couldn’t Leo behave for a few minutes? Especially when it was something so important. The information Matt was spilling could help us with Nick.

‘Not quite, mate. We had to go through rigorous exercises every day. Mentally, physically and emotionally. We had to do simulations. Ones where you were our target. I shot you all...well, your hologram, anyway.’ Matt coughed.

I scooted my chair closer to him. Taking his hand, I refused to let him pull away. He was with us now. We wouldn’t let anyone hurt him, especially not Nick. No matter what happened, he was part of our family, even if we didn’t end up together. My stomach clenched at the thought. At the same time, I wasn’t completely convinced any more. We certainly needed to connect again.

‘After a year, I was deemed ready to join the rank of Nick’s men. The Dysfunctionals. I was buzzing. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on you. Then came the bombshell. Nick told us that we weren’t allowed to kill you. We would have to shoot someone else if the time ever came. We couldn’t quite understand why we had been trained so thoroughly if we weren’t able to kill you. The next part of our training had only just started. Not that I knew at that time.’ Matt rubbed his stomach with his free hand. ‘Back at the house in London, we started to learn the real reason we had been trained. Nothing to do with you destroying the earth in the way we had assumed. It was all to do with love.’

‘I bet that pissed you off,’ Leo said, shaking his head.

Glaring at my brother, I nudged Matt to continue.

‘I’m surprised he didn’t let you know about it a lot sooner,’ Derek spoke, taking the attention away from Matt.

Derek’s hands rested on the arms of the chair. A slight breeze had picked up, ruffling the very tips of his hair. His green eyes met mine as he stared at me. I blinked, looking away when it felt like he searched my gaze.

‘I know. We were surprised, too, considering how much easier it would have been for us to be brainwashed at a younger age. We would have been more likely to believe it before we hit puberty. However, Nick was persuasive. He knew what he was doing. He told us about your mission to unite with your twin flame soulmate. He said that if you were successful, he would die. We would all die.’

Leo slapped his thigh. ‘That’s why he didn’t say anything before. He got you to love him before he told you the real truth. So you would protect him no matter what.’

‘He sounds like a sicko to me,’ Derek said.

Matt clenched his hands, squeezing my fingers as he did. Even now, he was so conditioned to defend Nick, that he couldn’t help the reaction. He didn’t say anything to Derek. I glanced at our bodyguard but he concentrated on Matt.

‘The thing is, he’s right. If you’re successful.’ Matt glanced between me, Virgo and Leo. ‘He’ll no longer exist. The balance of love will outweigh the emotion of hate. Once you’re all living from that state, you’ll be able to teach other people how to do the same. Which is a good thing, now that I’m away from Nick. When you’ve been made to believe that it’s actually the Zodiacs that are not good for the planet, it’s hard to get that out of your head.’

I resisted the urge to pull away. The words he spoke came from a conditioned mind. I knew that. It made me wary to know that he had basically been raised by our enemy. I had never stopped to think what it would be like to date a man who had believed me to be evil most of his life. How had I ever imagined it would work between us?

‘Do you still believe everything he told you? About us, I mean?’ Leo said.

It was nice to see my brother serious for once. Although, to be fair, when it came to business, he did get his act together.

‘No. I’ve been around you enough to know that you’re not evil. Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing with you, though. My wife, she…’

He gazed at me, his cheeks flashing red when I glared at him. I couldn’t help it. Why did he have to bring her up now?

‘My wife was brought in by Nick. She had also been brainwashed. Together we determined that we would bring you down. No matter what stood in our way. You managed to capture me before we could.’ Matt looked pointedly at Leo.

Leo grinned as wide as his mouth would let him. He was proud of the fact that he and my brothers had managed to hold Matt captive. ‘Got me back by stabbing me in the leg, though, didn’t you?’

Matt burst out laughing. I put a hand to my forehead as the memory of that day came back. It hadn’t been the best day of my life. After a while of talking to him, Matt had persuaded me to let him go free from the attic. It seemed so long ago now. It had been a few years. My siblings had forgiven me but only because I was so adamant that I was in love with him.

‘Yeah, sorry about that.’

Leo waved the apology away. He wasn’t one to hold grudges. Not when he believed that Matt was on our side.

‘Did you know that this would happen when you left our home?’ Virgo asked.

Matt blinked as he thought about her question. He still held my hand tightly in his grip. During the whole conversation both of us had tried to pull away at one point but neither of us had let the other go.

‘No. Never in all my life did I believe that I would be sitting here with the woman I love. The woman I thought I would kill one day. I could never harm her.’

I swallowed as a flush of warmth tingled over me. My skin heated so much I had to look away from everyone else. Matt watched me, smiling when he saw how he had affected me. It had been a long time since we had shared how we really felt.

‘Does that mean you two will finally get it on?’

This time I didn’t ignore Leo, I hit him as hard as I could on the arm. Not that it made any difference. He yelped, grasping his arm where my fist had connected. He was so fake. There was no way I had hurt him.

‘Yes.’

Matt stood and held out his other hand to me. I gripped it, letting him pull me from the chair. He led me into the villa, away from the others.

Leo whistled as we went.

Derek didn’t look up as we left them. It was time for us to have our own conversation.

Chapter Thirteen

We didn’t talk. As soon as we got into the bedroom, our clothes had come off. I wanted to stop it but I couldn’t. The temptation was too much so I let him do what he would.

‘That was amazing,’ he said, stroking my back.

Biting my lip, I smiled. I laid on my front with my arm tucked under the pillow. He was on his side, peering down at me. My blonde hair fanned out around us.

Leaning forward, Matt whispered into my ear. ‘I’m sorry about everything that’s happened. All I ever thought about was being with you. And now we’re here, I’m trying to wrap my head around it.’

Burying my head in the soft cushion, I hid my warm cheeks. He couldn’t help but make me blush. My heart swelled as his hand dug under my chin and lifted my face to look at him.

‘When we were back in the attic, you opened your heart to me. We shared a connection unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I never touched you, yet, it felt completely real at that time.’ He sighed.

‘Like we were in our own world. I never told my family that we lay side by side, not talking, just breathing with each other.’ I warmed at the memory.

‘I’ve got to go back. You know that, don’t you?’

The air rushed out of my lungs as I was reminded of the court date. It was only a few days away, and yet, I wished it would never come.

‘I don’t have a very good feeling about it.’ I ran a finger down his stubbled jaw.

He pretended to bite me when I traced his bottom lip with my nail. I grinned, basking in the loving glow of his smile. It was what I had been waiting for. The comfort of being in his arms, beside him.

‘Be honest with me. Do you have any feelings for your wife?’

The smile dropped from his mouth. In fact, his whole face sunk in on itself. Clambering from the bed, he pulled on his clothes, and went to walk away. Wrapping the sheet around me, I jumped forward and grabbed his arm, refusing to let him go.

‘You can’t run away this time. The fact that you’re running away makes me question whether or not you do love her.’

Sighing, Matt ran his hand through his hair and sat next to me on the edge of the bed. ‘I’ve been with my wife for ten years. No, I don’t love her. Yet…’

He tried to take my hand but I wouldn’t let him. He had seduced me without telling me that he still had feelings for his wife. I was so stupid. How dare he treat me like a fool?

‘Cancer, I’m not the only one in this relationship. You keep blaming me for how uncomfortable it’s been since we’ve been here but you’re here, too. Ignoring me isn’t helping. When I finally opened up today, you let me in. Then when we were comfortable, you had to push it. You couldn’t just let us have one whole night of peace together. Why have you bought it back up again?’

Bending my head, I let my hair fall around me. It helped to shield my eyes from him.

‘I couldn’t help it. The thought of you and her together makes me feel so…’

His hand landed on my back. I tried not to cringe. It took all my willpower not to duck away. I even clenched my fists so I didn’t hit out. Why had I suddenly become so angry with him?

‘I’m going back to London to divorce her. Doesn’t that tell you something?’

The smell of him wafted up my nose as I shook my head. Now that I’d had what I wanted, I wasn’t sure why I’d wanted it so much. It was hard work.

‘You’re right. I’m sorry that I didn’t let you in. Just one question. How would you feel if I was married?’ I tucked my hair behind my ear, finally looking at him.

He gritted his teeth as he shrugged. ‘If you were married to someone else, I probably wouldn’t be in love with you.’

Nodding, I slowly stood from the bed, making sure to wrap myself tightly in the sheet. I didn’t look back as I went over to the door and let myself out. Matt didn’t try to stop me. My blood raced through me. My heart pounded as pain lanced through my chest.

‘Oh yeah, you had some fun, then?’ Leo called from the living area as I tried to shoot past.

That was the only problem with having an open planned villa, there was no way to escape. Everyone knew what was happening.

I swallowed hard as tears came to my eyes. Blinking, I ignored him and rushed to my bedroom. I heard Virgo swear at him before her rushing footsteps followed me down the hallway. I was about to slam my door closed when her hand stopped the movement. The door jarred open. I backed up, letting her in.

I had always seen Virgo as fussy. She liked things just the way they were. As long as they were how she liked them.

‘Why are you crying?’

Spinning, I fell face-forward onto the bed and buried my face in the cover. The door clicked shut before the mattress dipped next to me. Virgo hadn’t left me alone. Tears absorbed into the material as I cried. I had never been so confused in my whole life. Why was it not working? Why were we not as happy as the other united couples?

‘Did it not go well?’ Virgo asked. ‘It sounded like it did.’

I couldn’t help the giggle that fell from me. I cringed as I realised that my siblings and bodyguard would have heard us.

‘I think he still has feelings for his wife. I thought that all along but he basically admitted it. I don’t know what to do,’ I cried, screaming into the cover.

Virgo rubbed my back. I jerked away from her as the movement reminded me of Matt only a few moments before. I had given myself to him completely. Why had I given in so easily? Why did I always give in so easily?

‘Do you love him, Cancer?’

Taking a deep breath, I wiped my face before lifting myself off the bed. Grabbing the dressing gown that Virgo had leant me, I made myself decent and sat back on the bed. ‘Yes. I love him but is that really enough? Surely if he was my twin flame, it wouldn’t be this hard?’

Virgo shrugged as she sat against the wall. Closing my eyes, I relaxed too. An image of an old lady came into my mind. I didn’t recognise her from this lifetime. Who was she?

‘I spoke to Derek and Leo tonight. We need to talk about our safety tomorrow. Nick may not be here but his men are. We need a plan of action. Get some rest, it will feel better in the morning.’ Virgo stood, leant over and patted my shoulder.

We were awkward because we hadn’t spent much time together. It was nice that she had come to Greece just to see me. Maybe I should have made the effort to get to know her better. She was an important part of my journey. They all were.

When she reached the door, I called out to her. ‘Thank you for coming. I do appreciate it.’

She looked over her shoulder and nodded. The corners of her lips lifted slightly before she left me on my own.

Matt was right. There were two people in our relationship. Maybe I hadn’t given him enough credit. Pisces had said that the easiest and quickest way to unite with my soulmate was by taking responsibility for what I did. I found it hard but it was about time I started.

*

The siren was loud in my ears as I hurried down the steps and into the underground. My dressing gown was tied tight around me. I had just finished getting changed when the alarms sounded. Swearing, I had hurried down the stairs with my parents. Well, as much as I could hurry on my recovering sore foot.

‘Isn’t that John?’ my mother asked.

Squeezing her arm, I gasped when I spotted the back of a man’s head. He was helping a young family further down the platform. The width of his shoulders were familiar to me. I hadn’t seen my fiancé in six months. I hadn’t even heard from him.

‘It is him, dear,’ my father said, about to stride forward.

I pulled him back. He had always got on well with John. They were almost best friends. My stomach rolled at the thought of seeing my fiancé. Something had changed.

‘Hello,’ a man said behind us.

And there was the change. My bright eyed rescuer. He cradled his baby in his arms, smiling at me when our gazes met. I couldn’t help but return the gesture, transfixed by his beautiful face.

‘Oh, yes,’ my father said. ‘I forgot about this young man.’

My mother pursed her lips before she spun away and marched up to John. My eyes widened as she tapped him on the shoulder and he turned towards her. A grin spread over his face as he embraced her. His gaze went straight over her shoulder, looking directly at me. From the glint in his eyes, I knew that I was going to break his heart.

‘Is that a family friend?’ Henry handed me his daughter.

I hugged the child close to me. She was used to me by now. I had seen her several times over the last six weeks. Henry had brought her to visit while my foot healed. It was quite obvious, not only to myself, but to my parents as well. I had fallen in love with my rescuer. And his daughter.

My father clicked his tongue. ‘You could say that, son.’ He raised his eyebrows at me.

I had failed to mention my fiancé to Henry. It wasn’t because I was being malicious, I just couldn’t bring myself to break the magical spell that surrounded us. Unfortunately, that spell was about to be broken.

‘It’s so good to see you,’ I could hear John saying as they made their way back over to us.

My mother had her arm around his waist. John’s uniform was pristine. His hat sat neatly on his head.

‘Sir, how wonderful to see you.’ John grasped my father’s hand and shook it.

My father smiled awkwardly. His gaze darted between the three of us. The child gurgled happily in my arms, drawing John’s attention to her.

‘Who’s this, then?’ he asked.

Stepping forward, he leant down and kissed my cheek. I tried to smile but couldn’t. The intense gaze of the child’s father, Henry, bore into me. In fact, my skin heated as I realised they all stared.

‘John…’

I bit my lip, not able to go on. Surely he would understand? In the last year, we had hardly seen each other. We were no longer in love.

‘This is my daughter. Catherine kindly takes care of her for me sometimes.’ Henry reached forward and took the baby out of my arms. ‘Nice to meet you,’ he said, nodding once and walking away.

I watched him go. My throat threatened to close as his shoulders slumped. He had obviously guessed who John was.

‘It’s good to see you.’ John seemed oblivious to what had just happened.

‘She’s happy to see you too, aren’t you?’ Mother said.

She pinched my elbow. I stood in a daze, forcing myself to stop searching for Henry in the crowd of people that now took shelter in the underground.

‘Yes, of course.’

My enthusiasm couldn’t even convince myself. The awkward moment made my skin prickle. I had a choice to make. John or Henry. Even then, Henry may not forgive me. I had lied to him. Not telling him the whole truth. Not that we had arranged anything, but I had let him fall in love with me. And I had fallen in love with him.

‘Let’s go and say hello to our neighbours, dear.’ My mother dragged my father off.

John took a step closer, running his hand down my arm. I was tempted to move away but I stopped myself.

‘Why haven’t you sent me anything?’ I couldn’t help myself. He hadn’t written to me for a long time. His base wasn’t that far from London. It wouldn’t have taken him much to make a bit of an effort.

‘Sorry, Catherine. You know what it’s like. I’ve been fighting.’

Unlike Henry, John towered above me. Seeing him hadn’t caused my feelings to return. It was strange not to have that rush of emotion. Looking up at him, I smiled gently.

‘John, things have changed. We’re not who we used to be. I-’

‘Don’t say that.’ John grabbed the top of my arms. ‘I still love you. Don’t you love me?’

Closing my eyes briefly, I took a deep breath. The old lady had said that things would change. She said that it would be hard. Glancing around, my heart skipped when I spotted Henry watching us from the ground, where he sat cradling his little girl.

‘I’m sorry. I can’t do it.’

John released me but not before squeezing my skin between his fingers. It was as if he had to hurt me as much as I was hurting him.

‘Okay. I can’t force you to love me. I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you. I really hope… I really hope that you find…’ He couldn’t go on, swallowing as he blinked. I held back the tears as the pressure built behind my eyes.

‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen.’

He shook his head, not able to say more. Turning, he wandered into the crowd. I watched his high shoulders disappear, not able to look away until he was gone.

‘What happened?’ my father ordered as he came back over.

Looking away from the crowd, I searched for Henry. He had moved from his spot on the floor. They were letting us out. I hadn’t even noticed that the sirens had stopped and the all clear had been sounded. He was gone. The love of my life had just seen a part of me that I wasn’t proud of. I had probably lost him, too.

‘I’m no longer engaged to John.’ I started to walk, my feet heavy on the concrete ground.

An arm came around my shoulders. I stared into my father’s eyes, surprised that he cared enough to show me affection. He was the strong silent type. Rarely would he give me a hug.