Can We Still Be Friends (39 page)
After Portugal, everything had changed. Gioia’s accident had been the lever that had switched their direction. In the aftermath of that day, Kendra had resolved that they should return to London. Theirs had been a long holiday, but holidays had to end. That was her view, but not Gioia’s, whose immediate reaction after her recovery was to entrench herself further in their Portuguese life. The accident didn’t mean anything, she argued. It could have happened
to anyone. Why should they leave? But Kendra was insistent, driven by the isolation she had felt so clearly, saved by the presence of Sal and Annie. It was time to confront reality.
‘I’m not playing this game any more, Gioia. I know I want to go home. This’ – she gestured around the apartment – ‘it’s been great, but it’s not for real. And we need to get real. We can’t be on the run for ever. We’ll stay for the summer, and then I’m going back. What to do, I don’t know. But I know I’m returning.’
Kendra picked up the tray and gestured to the others to follow her into a room where the only furniture was a square table, twelve chairs placed at equal distance around it.
‘Maybe I should move in here too,’ Annie joked, looping her hair into a knot at the nape of her neck. ‘Not that I don’t love it with you, Sal. Me and that sofa bed.’ Kendra thought how beautiful she was now. All the old bounty had returned to her face, which had, for the past year, looked a poor imitation of its previous self. She must find it odd dossing in Sal’s small flat.
‘Seriously,’ Annie continued, ‘I’ve got to decide what to do. Charlie’s finally agreed to give me some cash. So I can buy somewhere.’
‘That doesn’t seem fair. After all, you left him,’ Sal said, reaching over for a poppadum.
Gioia laughed. ‘You still talking about fair? Surely you’ve learnt that nothing’s fair. Annie’s lucky she can get Charlie to pay up. He’s got the dosh.’
‘I know it’s not fair,’ Annie replied. ‘But that’s the way it works when you get divorced – the blokes pay up. And, anyway, firstly, he earns a ton more than me and, secondly, he’ll be happier, rid of the old misery guts I’d become. I don’t think the money bit’s bothering him. He just wants to move on. You know that’s how he is. Don’t worry. I’ve learnt my lesson. I’m not getting married again for ages. Not for at least a year.’ She laughed. ‘Anyway, Tania’s got me working so hard I’m not going to have much time for anything. She dumped all of Lee’s accounts on me when he went to Milan. I miss him. It’s not so much fun without him there, but I’m going visit
him soon. He says he can’t wait to take me to one of the Versace parties, and he’s sent me a photo of himself in one of those silk shirts with his hair dyed black. He thinks it makes him look more “authentic”,’ she said, her fingers mimicking quote marks.
‘I need some more fags.’ Sal stood up. ‘I’ll just run round the corner.’
‘Let me go. I want some air. You can pay me later.’ Annie was in the hallway before Sal had time to argue. As they heard the thud of the heavy front door, Kendra spoke, picking at the remnants of the vegetable biryani on one of the square plates that Marisa had bought to reflect the lines of the table.
‘She’s looking wonderful again. Normally when people leave their husbands they’re meant to be traumatized, not glowing.’
‘She discovered she’d made a mistake with Charlie far quicker than we realized. She’s as good as told me that.’ Sal spoke. ‘I think she knew even before she became pregnant, but she so wanted to have a baby that she wasn’t going to allow herself to think that way. Now, she’s just relieved to be out of it. She says it’s like somebody removed the net curtains and she can see out. I almost feel sorry for Charlie. I don’t think he knew what hit him when she said she was leaving.’
‘Well, let’s hope the next one is a better bet.’
‘Don’t you go interfering, Ken. That girl’s life is her own business. You can’t go telling everyone who they should and shouldn’t be with,’ said Gioia. ‘Look at us. Here. It’s got no logic, has it? You wanted to get away from your folks, and now we’re playing happy families round this table. Annie wanted her marriage and kids, and she’s dumped the guy. Sal’s clean and got herself a flat. And me …’ Gioia shrugged. ‘I’ve always been a leader, and here I am trailing around after you. Not for long, mind you. Don’t think it will always be like this. Stuff changes. You don’t know what’s round the corner. I don’t think you ever get to join the dots up nice and neat.’
Sal tipped her chair back. ‘You’re probably right, Gioia. Who knows what’s next? None of this is what we planned. Talking of
which, guess what? Annie’s seeing Jackson again – but don’t say I said so. I saw him dropping her off the other day. I bet that’s what she’s doing now. Fresh air? Don’t you believe it. She’s nipped off to the phone box to call him.’
Kendra got up to open the door when the bell rang, returning with a knowing look as she followed Annie into the room.
‘What’s going on?’ she asked, throwing Sal her cigarette packet. ‘Why are you all staring at me like that?’
Nobody answered until Sal spoke. ‘We were just talking about how all our lives have changed and how could we have known we’d be where we are now? Come to think of it’ – she leant forward to take a cigarette from the pack, an unsatisfactory ten rather than the twenty she would have bought – ‘you could say it’s all part of this thing I’m working on. Chaos theory. There’s this book – it’s a best-seller in the States – all about how it works. It’s not random, what happens to everything. Chaos is something different. Don’t ask me to explain but, when you come down to it, chaos is good.’
Kendra smiled at Annie; it sounded like the old Sal. Gioia stood to pile the plates and food on to the tray and take them back to the kitchen as the three friends remained happily, in momentary silence, around the table.
Thank you to all my friends, family and colleagues who have put up with me while I wrote this book. My thanks also go to my agent Eugenie Furniss for helping me so much and to Juliet Annan for being such an enthusiastic publisher.
A special mention to Sam and David for living with me throughout and making me happy.
Not too much to ask, is it? It was in 1935 when Allen Lane, Managing Director of Bodley Head Publishers, stood on a platform at Exeter railway station looking for something good to read on his journey back to London. His choice was limited to popular magazines and poor-quality paperbacks – the same choice faced every day by the vast majority of readers, few of whom could afford hardbacks. Lanes disappointment and subsequent anger at the range of books generally available led him to found a company – and change the world.
We believed in the existence in this country of a vast reading public for intelligent books at a low price, and staked everything on it
Sir Allen Lane, 1902–1970, founder of Penguin Books
The quality paperback had arrived – and not just in bookshops. Lane was adamant that his Penguins should appear in chain stores and tobacconists, and should cost no more than a packet of cigarettes.
Reading habits (and cigarette prices) have changed since 1935, but Penguin still believes in publishing the best books for everybody to enjoy. We still believe that good design costs no more than bad design, and we still believe that quality books published passionately and responsibly make the world a better place.
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FIG TREE
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First published 2012
Copyright © Alexandra Shulman, 2012
The moral right of the author has been asserted
Cover photograph © Arthur Elgort /Art + Commerce
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ISBN: 978-0-141-96888-9
