Cameron's Control (5 page)

There’d been a time when McKenzie’s sassy brilliance had set my world on fire. Though now it felt like I was standing in the ash drenched wreckage of what we’d once been.

My gaze drifted toward the door.

“How are your parents?” she asked.

“Fantastic. Yours?”

“Same. That’s a pretty choker.”

Mia’s fingers traced the edge of the rubies and her gaze swept from me and back to Zie.

“You tried to put one of those on me once,” said Zie. “Remember? You got a kick out of me refusing to wear it.”

“Long time ago,” I muttered.

She raised her chin. “Still, I wore it for you in the end. Remember? You were very persuasive. I loved that about you.”

“Different choker,” I told Mia, wondering what words had been exchanged between them.

Zie glared at Mia.

“Well this has been delightful.” I almost sounded convincing. “But if you’ll excuse us, we have somewhere to be.”

“Cameron.” Zie’s eyes were full of pain. The same pain I’d caused her way back when I’d realized we weren’t right for each other.

I’d bestowed the kind of cruelty undeserving of any woman. The invitations had gone out. The cake design meticulously decided upon. That ivory Vera Wang destined not to be worn.

Those endless nights with Shay and Richard as we drank well into the morning, both of them telling me I’d done the best thing for both of us. And me not sure if I had.

“I’m sorry, what?” I said, rising from hell.

McKenzie looked vulnerable and I wasn’t used to seeing it on her.

“I need to talk to you.”

“About?”  

“It’s personal.”

“Not a good idea.” I gave a thin smile.

Richard nudged my arm. “We’re gonna to be late.”

I reached up and gave Zie’s arm a comforting squeeze. “Another time perhaps?”

Or as I like to put it,
no fucking way.
 

Her eyes flicked in response to my touch. “I have an appointment to see you.”

“At my office?” I lowered my voice. “I’ll book you in with Dr. Laura Raul. She’s more—”

“I’ve been seeing Laura. She believes an appointment with you will bring closure.”  

Closure
. There it was—the most lie infested word known to man.

My jaw tightened from the fact Laura hadn’t shared her plan. My junior psychologist was making stupid decisions. I was the radical therapist. Not her. Time working alongside me had backfired.

Zie looked too fragile right now for me to tell her I was going to cancel her appointment. I’d get Patricia, my secretary at the clinic, to call her tomorrow.

“Have a lovely evening,” I said and pulled Mia toward the door.

Although I didn’t look back, I sensed Zie’s eyes on us all the way out. Guilt was right behind me too. All that work I’d done on myself to get over her had now been rendered useless.

Fucking square one.

Leo threw me a wave from across the way.

He’d stubbornly ignored my direct order to go home and spend time with his family. I made a mental note to triple his Christmas bonus.

I joined Richard and Mia in the back of the limo.

Mia got to work on our drinks, pouring champagne into three crystal flutes and then handing them to us.

“Good girl,” said Richard, throwing his drink back in one go.

Mia took a long sip. And then another.

Richard and I swapped a wary glance.

“Well that was unexpected,” I said dryly.

“She still loves you,” whispered Mia.

I winced.  

Richard held a crazed smirk. “Happy New Year!”

CHAPTER 5

THEY WERE DRUNK.

Richard and Leo laughed at pretty much everything and it was impossible not to laugh too.

My Beverly Hills home came alive with them here. This twenty-bedroom manor with its stunning if not elaborate furnishings made me look like I believed all this decadence was a good idea. The chandeliers that hung all over the house would have made Liberace blush. All this self-indulgence care of Terrance, my gay designer.

I preferred to hide out in my office or spend time in the modest den.

Though tonight, Richard, Leo, and Mia agreed with my idea to dine alfresco and we settled in the back garden and sipped on chilled Piper-Heidsieck and snacked on grilled scallops wrapped in prosciutto and Lemon-Parsley Gougeres.

It felt good to have such ebullient company.

Out of earshot of the others, I’d teased Mia. “I have plans for you later, Ms. Lauren.” And then I’d taken her glass out of her hand and finished off her champagne.

I informed her I had every intention of making tonight memorable. Mia’s toes had curled in anticipation.

Dinner was barbequed steak and ribs, which I cooked on the corner grill. We sat around the poolside table to eat. Mia rummaged through the fridge and brought out a few side dishes to compliment the meal, including coleslaw, potato salad, dips and chips, as well as French bread and butter.

Our spontaneous soiree was a refreshing change from the overly stuffy one we’d come from.

I tried to push thoughts of Zie Carlton out of my mind.

Those old doubts circled like vultures waiting to pick at my bones. Yes, life with her wouldn’t have been boring, but she was the kind of wild card wise men steered clear of. I had one spontaneous and crazy ass friend in my life, Richard Booth Sheppard, and didn’t need another, no matter how stunningly beautiful Zie was or how otherworldly her talent.

Soon after our breakup, I’d returned the pieces she’d painted for me. She’d sold them via Sotheby’s. I’d discovered she’d donated the money they’d made to Charlie’s, my charity soup kitchen in Santa Monica. Her way of twisting the knife.

Richard arched a brow, peering up from his phone, that boyish grin stuck on his pretty boy face. The kind that had girl’s swooning and men crying into their pillow at night when they realized he wasn’t bi.

That expression was Richard’s way of letting me know he was exchanging texts with Andrea. I imagined she wasn’t used to a man with Richard’s nonchalance. His hard to get vibe probably sent her into a spiral.

Mia didn’t need to know he was being wooed by a celebrity. There’d been enough drama.

After clearing the plates, I dragged four loungers together and placed them to face the pool. The surrounding lush landscaping and majestic trees lining the property provided a safe haven and ensured privacy.

At the stroke of midnight, we all stood with our glasses of champagne in hand and toasted in the New Year, enjoying the neighbor’s illegal fireworks.

Cracks and bangs and sizzling lights—

Sparkling colors lit up the night sky and fizzled, only to be replaced by another dramatic display—an endless array of sparks.

Mia and I shared the deepest kiss and her lips were soft and relenting, her tongue surrendering to mine. God I loved her. The impossible had snuck up on me out of nowhere.  

In usual Mia fashion, she broke away to hug Richard and then Leo, making sure in her own indomitable way they weren’t made to feel uncomfortable.

More fireworks sparked in the distance, setting the sky ablaze. Birds scattered from branches.

Richard gave a broad smile my way and it felt good to see his playfulness and those kind eyes full of understanding. His refusal to sulk, his devilish attitude toward life, had drawn me to him in the first place.

Our shared love of hedonism had been the catalyst for our club Enthrall in Pacific Palisades, and later Chrysalis, the residential manor in Bel Air that served as an exclusive enclave for the sexually elite. As the kings of hedonism, Richard and I had reigned supreme over the BDSM society. A life any bachelor would envy.  

Change lingered in the air.

The sparks were not just in the night sky. I loved seeing the way Mia shied away coyly from my fierce stare, and with that look came proof of her knowing I’d be taking her through her paces soon.  

It was hard to take my gaze off her. I yearned to taste her lips again and hold her. These reckless thoughts of locking Mia away and keeping her just for me. This was a mad man’s musings, but cage play was all too real in our world and this house had one.

Mia rose and opened another bottle of champagne. She refilled Richard’s and Leo’s glasses. I turned on the garden heaters to warm us from the chill and set the music to Nina Simone, her soothing voice lulling us with Feeling Good.

Buzzed and heady from the booze, we kicked off our shoes and settled on loungers, snuggling beneath tartan blankets. Rogue fireworks sputtered from someone far off and the sound of cheers rose from behind the wall.

With my phone in hand, I strolled over to the far wall. Taking a few minutes, I shot off a holiday text to Dominic Geddings, my attorney and right hand man. Next came my head of security Shay Gardener, who was also a deadly fencing partner. I also messaged my staff at Enthrall and Chrysalis, the senior dominatrixes Scarlet, Lotte, and Penny, and wished them a great new year.

They all texted back and I laughed at their messages. I really had surrounded myself with the best people.

Scrolling through my contacts, I hit Willow’s number.

“I know,” she answered warily. “Don’t drink and drive.”

The music faded in the background, hinting she was moving to a quieter spot.

I chuckled. “Happy New Year, sis.”

“Same to you, Cam!”

Despite being twenty-four, I’d always think of Willow as a young girl. It was hard to imagine her all grown up, even with those impressive grades she’d received
at
Oxford. Her obsession with horses was where her heart lay.

“Where are you?” I said.

“With Rayne.”

Her mischievous friend from NYU.

Fucking great
.

“Where?” I said.

“Yotel.”

Time Square’s biggest rooftop terrace on 10
^th
Avenue would be packed, noisy, and too claustrophobic for my taste. I hated she was so far away.

“Be careful,” I said.

“Zander’s tracking me. Might try to lose him.”

“Dad pays him well to keep you safe. Don’t make it hard on him. I’m serious, Willow.”

“How’s Henry?” Her tone was laden with concern.

“I’m keeping an eye on him.”

“I texted him, but he didn’t get back.”

“He’s at a SEAL reunion,” I said. “On a boat. Probably no reception out on the ocean.”

“With Shay?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, now I feel better.”

“Listen, Willow—

“Oh no, I hate it when you start like that. I survived England, for goodness sake.”

I laughed. “Survived one of the most prestigious universities in one of the safest countries.”

“Funny.”

“I bumped into McKenzie,” I said.

“She told you we had lunch?”

“Willow, I’m going to ask you to break off all contact with her.”

The line went quiet.

“Willow?”

“To be honest, she made me uncomfortable.”  

That sobered me up. “Go on.”

“She was asking all sorts of questions about you and Mia. It was awkward.”

“I can imagine. What did you tell her?”

“That I’d met Mia.”

“You didn’t mention…”

“Seeing her naked in your foyer? Of course not.”  

I caressed my forehead, recalling that evening. The memory would stay with me forever, not least because it was one of the most stunning visions I’d ever seen. Later that night had also been the first time I’d made love to her. She’d presented herself as my submissive, choosing the very evening my family had come to stay. Both my aunt and sister had caught the charade of Mia virtually naked upon her arrival.

My kinky brain had got a kick out of that.

Of course Aunt Rose knew full well she was witnessing a sub’s surrender, though she had no idea about Chrysalis. Willow probably put it down to my bachelor ways.  

“Honest,” said Willow. “I know everything must be kept private. I know the rules.”

“McKenzie reached out to you?”

“She told me she was in town and wanted to see me. I didn’t see anything wrong with it.”

“Thank you for understanding.”

“She’s still into you.”  

“She’ll get over it.”

“I’ll delete her number.”

“I appreciate that.”

“She’s not going to go all ‘Fatal Attraction’ on you, is she?”

“That movie was out before you were born.”

“Still.”

“Stay safe. Give Zander a break, Willow. It’s his new year too.”

“I know. I’ll not make it hard on him.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. Go have fun. You know it’s that thing humans do that causes their faces to crinkle all funny.”  

“You too, Willow.” My gaze drifted to the others and I saw Richard pulling a throw over Mia’s legs. “I have to go.”  

“Love you, Cam.”

“Love you, Will. Stay safe.” I tucked my phone into my pocket and strolled over to rejoin them.

Richard stared down at Mia and when he saw me he said, “She was cold.”

“I’m fine, really.” Her stare jumped from him to me.

My smile seemed to reassure them both, despite it feeling forced.

Settling on the lounger near Mia’s, I focused my scrutiny on Richard. A tilt of his head was his way of telling me everything was fine. Raw empathy raced through my veins and that dreadful guilt returned.

“I like seeing you happy, Cole.” His arched brows proved his sincerity.

I gave him that
happiness always has a price
look we so often shared, our friendship so deep words were not needed.

The conversation ebbed and flowed from politics to the financial markets, of which Richard was an expert. Leo shared stories from his time as a marine and he really did have a captive audience. He was more my people than my family.

Richard and Leo verbally sparred over football, though I was only half listening. I was too full of love to really care about the merits of changing the colors of an NFL team’s uniform.

Ten minutes ago, Mia had wandered off.

She now sat with her legs soaking in the heated swimming pool, her mind running off to a place I’d ask her about later. For now, I just wanted to look at her. Take in her beauty. Her calming presence.