Callisto (18 page)

“Well, I know that, Odell, but I'm saying other people don't need to get told about that part of him, it's got nothing to do with him being a terrorist, so it's private and doesn't need to get discussed about in public. This is a favor I'm asking, okay?”

“Okay.”

“So you'll keep that under your hat?”

“If I had a hat,” I said, making a joke, then I remembered I have got a hat, my Hawaiian straw hat for lawnmowing. I thought about telling Lorraine that but she's already talking again.

“Hey, I talked about that job for you with Cole. He says come on out to the prison tomorrow week, that's Friday next week, and you can talk it over. I'm real hopeful about it, Odell.”

“Okay, I'll be there.”

“Do I get a big thank-you?”

“You sure do.”

“Okay then. You think Dean'll really try to kill Senator Ketchum?”

“He might do, he's crazy enough to try.”

She give out a big sigh. “That's gonna be such a blot on the family if that happens. It'll put Dean's name in the history books for everyone to hate like the guy that killed JFK and the guy that killed John Lennon. I'd have to change my name to get away from that, get married maybe, that'd solve the problem.”

“That's a good idea.”

“Well, anyway, I just wanted to say I saw you on the TV.”

Behind her voice there's a crash as a glass or bottle breaks.

“What was that?” I asked her.

“What was what?”

“That sound, like a glass or something went and broke.”

“Oh, it's that cat, it's gone and pushed something off the kitchen counter.”

“I didn't know you had a cat.”

“It's the neighbor's, I'm looking after it.”

Behind her I could hear the cat swearing like a drunk man.

“So long, Odell,” says Lorraine and hung up fast.

I set the phone down gentle so's not to smash it against the cradle. Maybe the neighbor come over to collect the cat back to his own place, and the cat didn't want to leave a nice person like Lorraine so it got skittish and bumped against something which got smashed. That was most likely what happened there, so no point in thinking more about it. Thinking about stuff is not necessarily the best thing to do, I have found, otherwise you get all tangled up thinking this and that and the other thing and you don't even know which one is true, so forget that.

Which I did. With the help of the Captain.

Then the phone rang again and I snatched it up thinking it's Lorraine and now that the neighbor has taken the cat away and the mess has been cleaned up she's lonesome and wanting company for the rest of the evening. Only it wasn't her.

“Odell?”

“Uhuh.”

It's a guy.

“Andy Webb here, Odell. I just got told you were on the late news with some story about Dean Lowry getting set to kill Senator Ketchum, that right?”

“That's right.”

“Well, now, I have to wonder why it is that you didn't tell me that highly important piece of information yesterday, Odell, or maybe you think the TV news is the right place to be giving out important pieces of information and not the Chief of Police that happens to be investigating the case. Is that what you thought, Odell?”

“Uh...”

“Is it even true? How come you didn't tell the TV news about it yesterday, they were out to the house, I heard.”

“I forgot...then I remembered about it.”

“Well, the next time you remember an important piece of information like that you call me up and give me the news, Odell, I don't want to hear it second-hand from someone that saw it on the TV. I'm the guy that's supposed to know all the angles. I could've given that information to Homeland Security yesterday, and now they'll be wanting to know why they didn't get told about this information you just now remembered and gave to the wrong people. Those Homeland
folks are serious people that do not like to get fucked with, Odell, so when they get on the case you better not fuck with them the way you went and fucked with me, you got that?”

“Uhuh . . .”

“Damn!” he says, and slams the phone down, or maybe he just hung it up gentle, you can't tell, but I bet he slammed it down. I have gone and pissed off the Chief of Police, which is never a good thing, so then I had to turn again to my old friend the Captain for condolement about that.

A
long about noon next day I quit for lunch and saw on a newsstand that the information has gotten around big time, on the front page with a picture of Dean and a picture of the senator which has got a circle with crosshairs put over it, and the headline reads
TARGET!
I got a copy to read while I ate my burger, and it's all pretty much how I told it to Sharon Ziegler, who had her name there in the article as well as me. That is the first time I ever saw my name in the newspaper and it brung a strange feeling to my chest that made me quit chewing till it went away. Now I am famous!

After I finished eating I went and got a couple more copies of the newspaper, six or eight, then I went back to mowing lawns, which did not feel right somehow after I'm on the front page. I guess I would have to be the most famous lawn-mower guy in the entire history of lawnmowing, and I only started the job this week, so that is Progress.

I was putting the mulching mower back on the truck after job number four when a car pulled over to the curb behind me, a beige Caddy with Chet behind the wheel. He got out and strolled over. He has got his jacket off so you can tell it's a hot day because Chet is the kind of guy keeps his jacket on till someone says okay he can take it off. He still strikes me as the businessman type and not the religious kind, but maybe that's just the suit and the Cadillac.

“How's business, Odell?”

“Business is good. That grass, it keeps right on growing.”

“Barbers say pretty much the same thing when you ask them,” he said, which is probably true, barbers have lawns just like other people.

“You've made the news,” he says.

“Yeah.”

“Becoming quite a celebrity.”

“Uhuh.”

“But those lawns still need mowing.”

“Right.”

He looked at the mowers and the truck, then he says, “So you'll be maintaining the business until further notice?”

“Until I get this other job.”

“What other job, Odell?”

“At the prison. Got an appointment to talk to them next week.”

“What kind of a job would they have for you there?”

“Guard. It's easy work they say.”

“Are you sure that's what you want after being out in the fresh air and sunshine?”

“Well, the lawnmowing is okay, I'm making money at it,
but it isn't exactly what I had in mind for a career.”

“What did you have in mind?” he wants to know.

“Well, I was thinking maybe the Army, then the lawn-mowing job kind of took over. The recruitment office in this town has got closed down so you have to go clear to Manhattan if you want to enlist. Manhattan, Kansas, not New York.”

“That's a very risky profession, more risky even than being a prison guard. Are you sure that's the right job for you, Odell?”

“Well, I was going to give her a try.”

“You know, Bob and I have been discussing you, kind of thinking how we might be able to help you, professionally speaking.”

“Oh, that's okay, I wouldn't make a good preacher.”

“We were thinking more along the lines of helping you in the lawnmowing trade.”

“Oh. Yeah?”

“We think we may have pinpointed the one thing you currently are lacking for good business practice.”

“A ride-on mower?”

“We were thinking a cell phone.”

“Uhuh.”

“You see, Odell, when new customers want to be added to your lawnmowing roster they'll call, but there's nobody at home to take that call, is there. With a cell phone and some advertising you can make bookings for new customers while you're out on the job. That'd make a significant difference, don't you think?”

“I guess.”

“So Bob and I were thinking we'd like to get you a cell phone. For free.”

“Free?”

“We'd pay for it, yes. Cash money. This morning I was cruising downtown and noticed they've got a cell phone special going on at The Telephone Store there on Torrence Street. You can get a pretty good deal all this week but the sale ends tomorrow, so rather than coming all the way back into town on the weekend when you want to be enjoying your hard-earned rest and relaxation, it might be a good idea to go on down there right now before you start your next job and grab one of those nifty cells while they're still there for the grabbing. Are you interested, Odell?”

“I . . . sure.”

He dug out his wallet and pulled out some money.

“This is four hundred dollars, enough to get you signed up on the payment schedule of your choice.”

He held out the money. It would've been rude to say no, so I took it.

“Are you sure, Chet?”

“Absolutely and positively certain this is the right way for you to go, Odell.” He looked at his watch. “I've got some chores to attend to, so why don't you go on down and choose a phone, they've got all different kinds, and when you've got yourself all set up I want you to make your first call on the new phone a call to me, okay? You still have my number, don't you?”

“Got it right in my wallet.”

“Well, then, I won't hold you up any longer. Enjoy that phone. Believe me, it'll change your life.”

He gave a chuckle and got back in his car while I'm standing there with the money still in my hand, then he waved and drove away. I put the money in my pocket thinking him and Preacher Bob are looking after me like a pair of uncles, and Lorraine is looking after me like ...a sister, I guess. Well, I would not disappoint either one of them.

I did what Chet said and went direct to The Telephone Store, where inside they have got all these phones, executive desk phones that sit in a console kind of thing with buttons all over, and wall phones for hanging on the wall or you can set them down on a table if you want, which they come in all kinds of colors that I didn't know a phone could come in – red and green and yellow, even a pink one but that would be for a woman.

A young guy come over. He's got this short hair that's been filled with grease to make it stand up in little spikes and he says, “What can I do for you today?”

“I want a phone,” I told him, “the carry-around kind.”

“Right over here,” he says. “We've got a special running all this week.”

There's a counter with all kinds of cell phones under glass, dozens and dozens of them with all kinds of colors, even with pictures on them. The guy started in talking about X plan that gives you a certain number of calls per week for free, or Y plan that gives a different arrangement, or Z plan that's a different setup again. It was hard to follow what he's saying he's gabbing so fast, but while he was doing that I'm selecting the right phone for me, which is a choice between two that I liked the look of. The first one has got a picture of Bart Simpson on it with Bart's hand holding up the little screen
there, and the other one was the prettiest shade of silver-green but it had no picture, just the green. I was tempted by the Bartster but knew people would think that's the kind of phone you give a kid, so I had to make myself not want it and go for the green instead.

“That one.”

“The new Fumatsu nine-o-niner,” he says, “good choice, and we're offering a new package – the First-Timer Streamliner, gets you mobilized pronto.”

He told me all about the phone, what it does, the text messaging and so forth which I could hardly figure out what he's saying, but I bet there'll be a little book inside the packaging that'll tell me everything he's saying only slower so I can follow it. But the best thing about it, this phone has got a tiny camera inside the flipout lid that can take moving pictures and send them direct to whoever you're talking to! I have definitely made the right choice here with something like that inside of it. He took down a bunch of details about my name and address etcetera and says the number will be activated in around five to ten minutes, which will make the phone officially mine. I handed him my money and still had some change left over, so Chet had judged it all pretty close to perfect. The phone sat in my hand all smooth and sleek and I knew it was the right one for me.

Next thing the spike-haired guy did, he showed me how to choose the ring tone, how it sounds when someone calls, and you have got so much choice to choose from, all kinds of tunes and sound effects from Baytoven to a little voice that screams, “Answer the damn phone, stupid!” That one was funny but I didn't like being called stupid, so I settled for a
tune that I heard plenty of times which is Greensleeves that we sang in school when I was little – Come come come away with me, Where the grass grows wild and the wind blows free, Come come come away with me, And I'll build you a home in the meadow ... but no mention of anyone wearing green sleeves there, so I don't know why it's called that.