Calling All Birdbrains (7 page)

Sherman wasn't finished showing off his phone. “With this phone, I can call people I don't even know!” he said.

His phone rang. Sherman let out a cry of surprise. He raised the phone to his ear. “Hello? Who is this?”

“It's me,” I said, speaking into my cell phone.
“I'm trying to get your attention.”

Sherman lowered his phone and came walking over to me. “What do you want, Bernie?” He slipped the solid gold phone into his shirt.

“It's your lucky day,” I said. “I decided to sell this rare, Patagonian parrot.”

Sherman stared at Lippy. “Where are his feathers? He's totally bald!”

“That's what makes him rare,” I said. “I know you want to pay two hundred dollars for him. But you're my old pal, Shermie. I'll sell him to you for ten bucks.”

“No thanks,” Sherman said.

“Okay, okay,” I said. “Three dollars. And I'll throw in his perch. That's my final price.”

“No thanks,” Sherman said.

“Okay,” I said. “You drive a hard bargain. You can have him for free. Go ahead. Take him. Tell you what—I'll pay
you
five dollars.”

“No thanks,” Sherman said.

This was tough. Sherman wasn't buying. But I knew I had to keep trying.

Bernie B. is always an honest guy. Except when a little white lie might help smooth things out. Like maybe now.

“I'll tell you the truth,” I said. “The total truth. Lippy is a good-luck charm.”

Sherman's eyes grew wide. He squinted at Lippy. “He
is
?”

“If you have Lippy on your shoulder, you can't lose,” I said. “Sherman, why do you think I win every Uno game?”

“Because you cheat?”

“No. Because I always have Lippy with me.”

Sherman reached out and fingered Lippy's bald head. “He's really lucky?” he asked.

I finally had him hooked.

“If you take the parrot, I'll never beat you at Uno again,” I said. “You'll win every game. You'll never lose at
anything
. You'll see.”

He petted Lippy's head again. “Anything?”

Lippy snapped his beak and bit part of Sherman's thumb off.

“That's
lucky
!” I said. “If he bites you like that, it means you'll have good luck for a week.”

“Okay. I'll take him,” Sherman said. “You sure he's a good-luck charm?”

I perched Lippy on Sherman's shoulder. The bird dug his claws through Sherman's shirt.

“That's even
more
good luck!” I said.

Sherman turned and walked off smiling, with Lippy squawking on his shoulder.

“More good luck for ME!” I said softly.

With that bad-luck bird gone, I could feel the
good
luck flowing back to me.

I pumped my fists into the air. I did a little celebration dance.

Across the lawn, Sherman tripped over a garden hose and fell flat on his perfectly tanned face.

Saturday afternoon in the Student Center, I planned to study with Feenman and Crench. Don't get the wrong idea. It's not like we do schoolwork on a Saturday afternoon. We were going to study some new bubble gum flavors.

You know. Serious stuff.

I wandered into the game room and saw Sherman at the Ping-Pong table. Sharonda Davis, April-May's friend, was at the other end. Sharonda and Sherman were slamming the ball back and forth over the net at each other. They were grunting and sweating
and running from side to side.

“No way Sherman can win,” I told myself. He had Bad-Luck Lippy on his shoulder. That meant he couldn't win at Ping-Pong if he used a tennis racket for a paddle!

I watched the battle for a while. They both worked up a sweat. Sharonda slammed the ball so hard, it cracked and flew off the table.

Finally, she threw down her paddle, muttering to herself. “I don't believe it…. I don't believe you beat me again, Sherman.”

Sherman came over to me, a big sixty-five-tooth smile on his face. “Thanks, Bernie,” he said. “You were right about Lippy.”

“Excuse me?” My mouth dropped open. “What do you mean?”

“I won twelve straight games,” Sherman said. He petted Lippy's bald head. “Thanks to my lucky parrot.”

Weird
. Sharonda is a champion Ping-Pong player.

“Gotta hurry,” Sherman said. He pulled out a leopard-skin handkerchief and wiped the sweat off his forehead. “I'm meeting April-May.”

Huh? He was meeting MY girlfriend?

“We're going to have a picnic at Pooper's Pond,” Sherman said.

I said. I was too choked up to talk.

I followed him out of the Student Center. April-May was waiting for him. Her blue eyes flashed, and she gave him a big smile.

She wrapped her arm in his. “Shermie, you're so cute with that adorable parrot on your shoulder,” she gushed.

Shermie?? Adorable parrot??

I couldn't stop
ack
ing.

Arm in arm, they started to walk away. Suddenly, Sherman stopped. He bent down and picked something up from the grass.

“Check it out, April-May,” he said. “I just found a twenty-dollar bill!”

Sherman? Suddenly lucky?

“Calm down, Big B. This can't be happening,” I told myself. “Wait till the all-night Uno tournament tonight. We'll
see
who's lucky!”