CALLEN (Second Chance Novels Book 3) (23 page)

I can do nothing but search for his cock with my hips, and sharply moan out at his swift invasion. His passion boils within both of us the entire time we stay in our private world.
 

The physical bliss between us rages in quiet chaos for what seems like forever until we both come with an intensity I'm becoming accustomed to with this man. And though we rest blissfully together for a satisfied, quiet while, I need to bring us closer. I know instinctually his conflict remains, and I can think of only one way to ease his tension.

"Tell me about her." I shift my head to look him in the eye, and I make certain my expression is one of simple love and acceptance. "What was she like?"

His brow furrows slightly as he looks down to me. "You don't have to do that," he says.

I smile softly. "You don't understand why I asked?"

He doesn't answer, so I explain anyway.

"You don't have to choose," I try to explain. "Evvie is part of you. I want to know all of you."

He pauses and searches for honesty in my words.

"You astound me," he says in quiet awe.
 

I smile softly. "Tell me about the night you met."

He looks at me and understands the truth of this conversation. With a kiss on my forehead, he begins his story.

"I introduced myself as Halden Fells," he says quietly. "She offered to show me around at the museum exhibit. I asked if I could offer her my arm, knowing she would refuse."

"How did you know?"

"I knew her bastard husband abused her. If he saw her on my arm, he'd take it out on her. I manipulated her to make her focus on his dark side. I made myself appear the white knight."

I watch his face tighten at the memory, but a softness behind his eyes hints at his continued love for her. I was honest with him when I said he doesn't have to choose, but I'll admit to myself the jealousy I feel right now.

"So I left her alone for the evening, only glancing to her with understanding smiles," he continues. "But I came to her house the next day when her husband wasn't home. I had some bullshit business papers to get me in the door. That's when I started to woo her into an affair. I met her a few times, even taking her shopping the next city over to buy worn-out jeans at a thrift store. I worked to separate her from her life completely."

I hate hearing his easy manipulation, but I promised him my ear. I won't disappoint him. He continues his story slowly, bit by bit, until he comes to a point I never expected.

"She refused the affair," he speaks quietly.
 

"She did?" I try to hide my shock, but I hear the surprise in my own voice.

"She did."

I pause, trying to take in this new information. My jealousy wanes and my heart breaks for him. His love was never consummated, which explains so much. Not only was his future stolen from him, so was the chance at beautiful memories. I understand even more why being with me is difficult for him, but I soar that he found his way to me anyway.

He finishes his story, explaining how he encouraged Evvie to stand against her husband and his promise to protect her. He told me about the bottle of wine, and his devolution into the vengeful killer he became the moment he eliminated Bennett from this world.
 

"I hope he burns in hell," he says in finality.
 

CALLEN

I can't believe I spoke as many words as I did. Never did I think I would share so many details about Evelyn with anyone, especially not to the woman currently in my arms. And now that Quinn knows nearly everything about my few weeks with Evelyn, including the depth of our connection we forged on the yacht, the closer we are. What a contradiction. Emotion is more complex than I ever realized it could be.
 

Reliving those moments of Evelyn brought all my memories of her to the surface. I didn't share all of them with Quinn, but I continue to roll through them in my mind, even those which are difficult.

Evvie turned to me and says shakily, "I don't know what to think. Callen Reed. Halden Fells. Are either of you real? What good are your promises?"

"Callen is real, and I want your entire world to be lifted up. I'm strong, Evvie. No one can touch you, not when you're with me. Special Forces is more than manipulation. I've been honing my strength for years. You don't have to be afraid, and you can trust the man I am. Halden was a manipulative bastard. If you understand how I separate myself from who I become on my missions, you'll see how honest I am."

"That sounds too difficult to believe. It sounds like more lies," she said quietly in a detached voice, still looking at me.

"Yeah, I suppose it does. I'm not sure how to explain this because I never had to before. My brothers on my team understood without words, and I never cared if anyone else got it at all."

She studied my face and shook her head gently. "I think maybe I could understand, but I'm not sure if I can accept it. This all feels like too much."

Evelyn found her way to care about me anyway. I remember the last conversation before we left the dock after our week on the yacht.

"Are you sure you want to stay with me?" I ask her again, not wanting to trap her like the ass-hat she married did.
 

"Stop," she said to me again. "I'm not ready to leave you at all, and going back to the city makes me nervous. With you, I don't have to be."

Talking with Quinn about our connection may have been cruel, even though she asked. I saw the jealousy Quinn tried so hard to mask, but I also saw something I never expected: understanding. I should have given her more credit than to think she'd be bothered by my story and my shadowy thoughts afterward. Quinn is exceptional.

With a deep look into her eyes, I see her need for connection and physical comfort after my confession. We've become so much more today, and she needs me to prove myself to her again. I may still love Evvie, but Quinn needs to be reminded of my need for her, too.

In a quiet sort of way, I tilt her chin to me so I can kiss her accordingly.
 

When we break the kiss, she tilts her head down again and slowly kisses over my heart. I run my fingers into her hair and hold her against me for a quiet moment.
 

"Be with me again," she murmurs.
 

In a slow, steady succession of muscle movements, I rest carefully over her. I take her cheek in my hand and kiss her softly. Neither of us need any foreplay, as this is about connection more than pleasure. I enter her gently, and she closes her eyes to focus on me.
 

A calm exhale leaves through her perfect lips as I move slowly within her. I've never been so close to anyone.
 

Our quiet proof of connection continues uninterrupted. The slow pace allows for the love-making to last. I roll her above me and lay back while she moves over me. Her hands run gently along my chest, her fingers lacing softly through my chest hair.

My hands hold a gentle grip on her hips while I watch her move slowly over me. I allow my hands to roam along her legs, hips, and breasts as she rocks her hips.
 

"You're
so beautiful
," I murmur as she arches her breasts toward me, allowing her hands to support her from behind. Slowly, her intensity increases, though her pace remains one of sensation-focus. Heavily she pushes against me, and leans over me again, her tight nipples dragging along my chest.
 

Her sexy, heavy movements drive me to the brink. I close my eyes and push my hips upward into her to match each press of her body. Keeping our slow pace is a decadent display of both connection and self-control.
 

Quietly, intensely, we come together. Her chest rests down directly against mine, and I rub her back again. She pulls herself against me tighter and I wrap her up, overwhelmed by our connection. There is no doubt as to how much I love her in spite of my lingering confusion over my feelings toward Evvie.

I need to tell her how I see her.

"Quinn, do you remember our nights out at Second Chance?"

"Of course," she says with a small smile. "Why?"

"Then I'm sure you heard Ledger call Cam
dove
."

"Yes. And Mason called Sofia his phoenix."

"And I thought Evvie would be my swan. She was so graceful. Everyone seems to find a way to demonstrate their women's strongest qualities that way."

She tilts her chin up to look at me.

"You," I begin with a deep breath. "I see you in a very specific way, too."

"How's that?" she asks with poorly-hidden, deep curiosity.

"I see you as a nightingale."

Her brow furrows as her smile warms. "Nightingale?"

"Yes," I answer softly. "The jail is darker than night. You are surrounded by an environment with no sun, no light to brighten your world. You wake yourself up to that darkness every day, and manage to thrive. You sing there. The nightingale fits you perfectly. The role they allow you at the prison is as small as that little bird, but you stand tall and with importance because of your strength among predators."

Her eyes swim with emotional tears.

"Callen…"

"You don't have to answer, Quinn. That's just how I see you."

She pauses for a moment. "That's beautiful."

Another silence passes before she murmurs a single phrase which requires no explanation:
you're an eagle
.
 

When Quinn falls asleep in my arms, however, I'm forced to think of Evvie, my swan, again, along with the man responsible for her death. The sensation of Quinn's body and Evvie's memory swirls with complication in my head and causes my thoughts to darken once again.
 

After nearly an hour, I see no choice but to break my promise. I leave Quinn and compartmentalize the aspects of my life into neat boxes.
 

When I leave this hotel, only one focus can exist.

Compartmentalizing the Spades I've loved like a brother for nearly twenty years away from the cold, mercenary hit man inside him is the most difficult split I've faced yet.
 

Meditation helps grieve the loss of the brother; the vision of Evvie's bruised body feeds the mission. When I find myself able to focus solely on her neck and the cruel display of her wedding ring on the ligature marks, the thought of killing Spades becomes easy.
Necessary
may be a better description of the kill.
 

In my head I begin walking through the scenario I've set with both Mason and Riggs. The stage is well-concealed and completely prepared. Spades' schedule remains mostly static on Sundays, and we've allowed for contingencies. Simply analyzed, our team is on point and prepared.
 

With a deep breath, I push away all thoughts, including those of Quinn's painful disapproval and the beauty hiding what I assume is disappointment or disgust.
 

Focus, damn it.

I employ another deep breath and short meditation before checking my watch, knowing Mason and Riggs are using the same device I am to ensure our synchronization. I drive to my primary location and wait.

Mason and Riggs are on surveillance for this phase, ready to confirm Spades' location and timing so my kidnapping will be stealth and simple. I am a full-mode soldier.

Through high-end wireless coms, my only two brothers relay intel on his thankfully-typical schedule. Spades' one extra stop doesn't complicate the mission. We've built in enough time flexibility for his trip to the drug store.
 

Mason follows by stealth on a stretch of Spades' last car ride of his shortened life. Riggs breaks off surveillance to sweep-and-secure the stage one final time before I bring Spades.
 

My plan is to take Spades quietly with a tranquilizer injection. Though I would undoubtedly succeed in a physical altercation, and would prefer one, too much attention would be drawn. My subsequent bruising would require explanation.
 

One signal from Mason sets me into quiet action. I follow Spades several cars back and into the back parking lot of his habitual grocery store. I make a "delivery" through the back entrance and wait by the stock area for the dairy case. The store is mostly unpopulated this early on a Sunday, offering me a likely opportunity to tranq him without notice, including by the security cameras I'm careful to avoid.