Authors: Jen Doyle
“Intense,” he finished for her. As in, hands down, the freaking most amazing sex he’d ever had.
Ever.
God
damn
it. He wanted her to have his babies.
Oh, fuck, he was screwed.
Chapter Twenty-Six
To Deke’s utter astonishment, the sex kept getting better. That was a new experience for him. Yes, he’d had years-long relationships of a sort with more than a few women. But never more than a few nights at a time, and definitely never in a way that made him think he might be interested in something permanent. He and Fitz had been sleeping together for almost a month now and not once had he thought it was time to move on.
On this particular night, everything was going great. The bar was crowded for a weeknight, and Deke liked seeing folks having a good time and enjoying themselves. Seeing the bar thrive made him appreciate the legacy his father had built, and his father’s father before him. And, yes, he’d begun to think about Fitz alongside things like family and ongoing generations. It should have been terrifying but wasn’t.
But he wasn’t quite ready to fully admit that. He sure as hell knew she wasn’t.
A roar of laughter erupted from one of the tables in the room and he looked up.
Well, okay. Maybe not
everything
was perfect.
Shunning an entire table of regulars wasn’t good for business, yet that was exactly what he was doing. It was doubly hard because it was Peggy and her crew, which meant the Cosmos flowed and shit got loud. It also usually meant Deke playing along. Although he’d managed to keep his distance so far, the natives were getting restless. With Little League season long over, he wasn’t seeing Peggy as often as he had then. But there’d been a shift in the wind it seemed, and although they hadn’t been together in quite some time now, she’d been turning up the heat. Occasional texts had turned into a regular stream that, looking back, wasn’t entirely unusual yet now seemed beyond extreme. He was finding it harder and harder to turn her down without making a big thing of it.
And it really would be a big thing. If he ever did have another conversation with Peggy, what she’d done to Fitz would be the first topic they covered. He didn’t think he’d ever in his life straight-out disliked someone. Now, though, he felt an unfamiliar ugliness inside. Considering his livelihood, he was hoping to hell it didn’t come out.
Thankfully, tonight was busy enough that Deke could play dumb without too much trouble, and he’d acknowledged Peggy’s wave with a nod and then turned away. It was only a matter of time, however, before that came to a head.
He scanned the bar, checking on empties and refills, his eyes, as always, landing on Fitz. She was happy tonight in a way he didn’t think she’d ever been. She hadn’t warmed up to Peggy by any means, but she and Dorie had spent some time at a table with a few of Peggy’s friends, one of whom had just started working for Dorie. And then when Dorie and Jules took the kids out on the dance floor tonight, Fitz had gone with them. Except for the night of the prom and in San Francisco, he didn’t think he’d ever seen her dance. He’d most certainly never seen her let go like that here in Inspiration.
All thoughts stopped abruptly when the door to the bar swung open and Sam Price walked in. Sam Price, followed by Johnny Whitfield.
What the hell? Whitfield wasn’t filming his show for at least another week, and Sam... Well, Deke had no freaking idea what Sam would be in Inspiration for, but it sure as fuck better not be to check out Fitz’s ass again. Or any other part of her. Without realizing he was doing it, Deke yanked a tray of dirty dishes out from under the counter hard enough that two of the glasses almost broke.
“Geez, Deke. What did those dishes ever do to you?”
He turned to see Lola coming up behind him. She wasn’t hostessing tonight but her attention was on the front door, too. They both watched as Dorie approached, a welcoming smile on her face, yet one that showed she hadn’t been expecting them either.
Nor had Fitz. That was clear the second Deke got his wits about him enough to turn to look at her. She seemed downright shocked. She had a handful of playing cards and two three-year-olds vying for her attention, but she was just sitting there, eyes wide as she stared at Dorie and the two men.
Deke ran his hand through his hair. Jealousy wasn’t an emotion he was used to. He’d never cared enough about a woman to want to stake a claim. But whether he was ready to admit his feelings to or even about Fitz, they were sure as hell there. Seeing that she didn’t seem particularly happy to see Sam was a relief of frightening proportions. She managed to recover by the time Dorie led the others to the table, standing up and smiling during the round of introductions. They knew Mama Gin and Jules, of course, but they hadn’t met Aunt Laura or Uncle A it seemed, nor, of course, Deke’s own parents, who were back in town in between stops on their road trip, or any of the kids.
As the evening wore on, however, whereas Fitz became more relaxed, Deke got more and more irritated. Seriously, if Whitfield didn’t stop putting his arm around the back of Fitz’s chair, Deke would take his fucking head off.
Deke snapped his towel against the side of the sink.
Lola, who was back at the bar to get a round of drinks for the table, reached for some limes and smiled. “Have you ever seen Fitz look so
happy
?”
That wasn’t Fitz happy, that was Fitz playing a part. Deke was surprised Lola couldn’t tell the difference; it was clear as day to him. She’d been happy dancing earlier. She’d been happy having dinner and playing Go Fish with the boys. Hell, just this morning he’d had her tied spread-eagle to his bed, and all he’d had to do was breathe and she’d arced up like she’d been hit by a thousand bolts of pure electricity. She’d sure as hell been happy then.
“Ecstatic,” he answered.
“Dude,” Jason said from his regular seat at the bar. “Why are you so stressed out?”
“What?” Deke dragged his attention away from Fitz’s table. Sure, Jason could talk. Being that there wasn’t room to squeeze anyone else in at the table, both Price and Whitfield had made a point to come over to the bar and say hi. After a round of high-fives and some small talk, everyone had happily gone about their business. Everyone except Deke.
“I’m not stressed out,” he said. “Life couldn’t be better.”
Fuck. That wasn’t any better than Fitz had been with Lola before the board meeting last week.
Then Wash muttered, “Do not even fucking tell me...”
With a jolt, Deke realized he’d been watching Fitz again, so he made sure to pull his attention away. But Wash was already staring at him.
“
Fitz?
” he asked.
Looking down quickly, Deke thought maybe Wash’s comment had been about something else entirely. Just because Wash had honed his observation skills under the tutelage of Nate and Mama Gin didn’t mean he’d figured anything out. Then again, Wash had been the one to call Nate and Dorie first, so it wasn’t a complete surprise to look back up and meet Wash’s stare and know he had to handle this carefully.
Drying off the glasses he’d taken out of the sink, Deke stared right back, refusing to give anything up. Jason was not an observer by any means, but even he would catch on to that, especially with Wash practically blaring a horn in his ear.
Too late. Jason’s eyes went over to Fitz and then back. “No fucking way.
Fitz
is the one who has you all locked up?” A look of horror came over his face. “I mean, yeah, she’s hot. But that’s just gross. It’s like doing your own sister.”
If only Deke felt that way, these whole last few months would have been a hell of a lot simpler.
“Uh, no offense, Lo,” Jason added. “If you weren’t Deke’s sister, I’d totally do you.”
“Really,” Lola said, not bothering to hide her amusement. “I’m, um...not sure what to say. Although, if I had to be honest, I’d most likely go for one of Nate’s baseball friends. If, of course, I ever had sex ag—”
“Whoa!” Deke held up his hands. He was entirely unprepared for Lola to go into the monologue about how she was not, in fact, ever having sex again, at least not until all of her eggs had shriveled up and died. For one thing, she was, actually, his sister. For another, the words “eggs” and “sex” did not belong in the same sentence. He took appropriate precautions every single time. As far as he was concerned, that was all that needed to be said.
“It has nothing to do with Fitz.” But the fact that he might have maybe wanted it all out in the open meant he wasn’t a little more forceful in his denial.
“What has nothing to do with me?”
Deke’s, “Nothing,” was about as smooth as the motion of his head when he jerked it up to see her standing there.
Since he was staring into her eyes, it was impossible to miss them go wide as Jason ever-so-helpfully answered, “Well, thank Christ, because you two being together makes about as much sense as, hell, I don’t know...” He shrugged. “Deke having an actual meaningful relationship.”
It was called a
schmelationship
, thank you very much. “Gee, thanks, Jase. It’s nice to know my best friends think so highly of me.” Deke tried to somehow telegraph to Fitz that, no, he hadn’t said anything to anyone and that this conversation had taken on a life of its own. But he also wasn’t too happy the look in her eyes was something akin to horror.
Of course, that was the moment Peggy decided to make her way over to the bar and call out his name. “Deke, baby, we need a little sugar. You think maybe you can oblige?”
Again, not anything she hadn’t said a hundred times before. It was just that now it made him cringe.
She was a regular, he had to remind himself. A not very nice person, but his job required he play a role. And Fitz, who he was actually beginning to think of as his girlfriend even though a total of two other people in the world were aware of their connection, had looked like she’d rather face another tornado than acknowledge to their friends there was something between them. So maybe it wasn’t his best move, but he looked up at Peggy and did what he had to do. “Give me five minutes and I’ll make it real sweet.”
Her satisfied smile—not to mention her glance at Fitz, although he may have imagined that part—was a blaring red sign that, not only wasn’t it his best move, it was probably one of his worst ever. And when he turned back to look at Fitz, she was gone.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Bitch.
Screaming, out-of-control, hate-isn’t-a-strong-enough-word bitch.
Fitz grabbed one of the trays of drinks and whirled around to bring them to the table. One of these days she was going to say something like, “Guess who’s having spectacular sex with Deke
now
, Miss Has-Been Cheerleader from Hell.”
Oh, God. No she wasn’t.
She was on edge, though, thanks to Sam’s surprise visit, so she didn’t trust herself.
We were in the neighborhood.
Sam had laughed, fully acknowledging Inspiration, Iowa, wasn’t “in the neighborhood” for anyone unless they lived there. Or had a fleet of private planes at their disposable. Which, given his family’s fortune came partly from getting in on the whole airline business early on, Sam did.
Fitz knew this from her research. She also knew Johnny was one of his investors thanks to a lot of piecing together she and Dorie had done based on things Nate had said. Nate who, incidentally had decided it was all fine and good that Fitz had decided she wanted to do this on her own, and was therefore going to support her one hundred percent in that effort.
What Fitz didn’t know was why Sam and Johnny were here tonight when Johnny wasn’t scheduled to be in Inspiration for another week and as far as Fitz knew the formal interview process for the job still hadn’t begun. She was actually wondering if it ever would. With all that going on, the last thing she could reasonably handle was Peggy being all over Deke.
Well, no. The
actual
last thing Fitz could handle was that she’d gone over to the bar to get a dose of Deke of her own. It bothered her immensely that she wanted one of his smiles to help settle her. Not just wanted one, needed it. She wasn’t ready to feel like this.
“Here are the refills,” she said, all efficient and crisp, as if she wasn’t teetering on the edge of losing it in all sorts of ways.
She passed the beers around as Lola came up behind her with the kids’ drinks. Deliberately ignoring any conversations happening on the other side of the room, Fitz picked up the new cards she’d been dealt and sat back in her chair as Johnny leaned in.
She also had to admit Jason’s comments had thrown her. She’d been lulled into this whole Deke-wonderland, but Jason’s reaction was exactly what she’d worried about. It was bad enough they’d be the talk of the town. That in itself made her feel sick to her stomach. But even worse was how it would change things with the others. Look at how things were between Deke and Nate. What had almost happened with Jules. The idea of any more relationships changing because she and Deke liked to get naked together...
Well, maybe it was time to start winding it down. It would definitely make things easier. Plus she was coming to count on him too much. With a glance at Deke, who was now distributing drinks to Peggy and her friends, three of whom Fitz knew for a fact he’d been with and two more of whom she suspected, it was clear he’d have no problems bouncing back. He was probably more ready to end this than she was.
But for as much as she knew that would make things easier all around, it was yet another thing she wasn’t ready to think about.
“Tough hand,” Johnny said, drawing her attention back to the game. She looked down to see the “tough” hand was actually a fantastic one in the Go Fish world. But he was exactly right. Fitz didn’t like winning outright when there were toddlers involved.
So she ignored the three kings in her hand and instead said, “James, do you have any sixes?”
“Eight!” James answered.
Though Johnny tried to keep his laugh inside, Sam’s own attempt was obviously making it difficult. And to be honest, seeing two grown men trying to keep straight faces was quite entertaining.
“Eight sixes?” Fitz asked, arching one eyebrow. “Or did you mean one eight?”
Sam leaned in to point something out to James while whispering in his ear.
“Three!” James replied.
Since this was pretty much the pattern for the night, Fitz said, “Perfect. I’ll take it.”
But James shook his head and pulled his cards in close. “You can have Emmet’s car.”
That was unexpected. And unpopular. Rather than just say no, however, Emmet decided to throw said car directly at James’s head, where it would have done some damage if Deke hadn’t appeared right then and snatched it out of the air. “Okay, buddy. Mom says you guys have been great but it’s time to go home.”
“Already?” Silas whined, coming up from whatever game he and Matty had been playing on Mama Gin’s phone.
Fitz had to admit, she felt entirely the opposite. She was so ready to not be here with all these Deke and Peggy thoughts swirling around in her head. And although she suspected Sam and Johnny had come to Inspiration to see her, they hadn’t come out and said anything to that effect and she was more than happy to use the kids as an excuse to leave.
But that plan flew out the window when Lola said, “Any chance you can catch a ride back if you stay? My mom said she needs to get in as much baby time as possible while they’re here. I thought she could drive with me back to the house.”
No.
Fitz tried to keep the panic from showing in her eyes. Being an adult who did, in fact, want to make a good impression on the man she’d told she was ready for the big leagues, however, she forced a smile and said, “Sure.”
Dorie, who seemed to have as little a clue as to what Sam and Johnny were doing here as Fitz did, raised her eyebrows before turning to Sam. “Are you guys in town for the night? Do you need a ride somewhere? Fitz and I can drop you off along—”
“I’ll drive her home,” Deke snapped, cutting Dorie off as he lifted Emmet out of his seat.
Dorie’s eyebrows went higher. “Fine by me,” she said, grinning over at Fitz.
Fitz smiled back, although her heart wasn’t entirely in it.
It definitely wasn’t in it when, fifteen minutes later, after the older and younger sets had cleared out and Wash and Jason had taken their places and everyone was now thoroughly involved in a discussion about the Watchmen’s chances of making the World Series, Fitz looked up to see Deke back at the bar, talking to Peggy. Who, of course, chose that moment to put her hand on his arm. Nope. The word
hate
wasn’t nearly strong enough. Fitz turned her attention back to the baseball discussion.
No more than two minutes later, she could feel his presence. She didn’t need to raise her head to know he was there.
“So,” he said, the sharpness still in his voice surprising her as he slid into the seat James had occupied, diagonally across from her. “You guys are in town for how long?”
Well, that was...rude.
Again.
Fitz shifted as Johnny tensed and then straightened up beside her.
Gathering up the cards she could reach, Fitz’s smooth-it-over instincts were blaring, but she couldn’t bring herself to say anything that might give her away. Not sharing the same concerns, Wash was the one to say, “And what brings you here?”
Although he was perfectly cordial about it, downright friendly when compared to Deke, the unasked part of the question—
And why are you here in town when Nate isn’t?
—was clearly heard by all.
Fitz wanted to hear the answer as much as she dreaded it. She really wasn’t ready to tell anyone about the job. At the same time she
did
want to know why they were here. Was it an interview? Had Sam brought Johnny here to feel her out? Or had Johnny just decided to come check out Inspiration earlier than planned and Sam decided to tag along? She truly had no idea.
Not one thing became any clearer when Johnny smiled down at her. “I was thinking I’d take you up on that offer to show me around.”
And now it was Fitz’s turn to straighten up. Wait, was he coming on to her? It would be a pretty dumb move since all it would do was make Deke mad. Something she wished wasn’t so obvious, by the way, but that was so far down the list of concerns right now it wasn’t even funny. Because if Johnny was coming on to her it meant she wasn’t a serious contender for the job and they were just stringing her along. The fact that the possibility made her almost overwhelmingly sad and angry was, she guessed, a sign of how much she wanted it.
When Johnny cleared his throat, she said, “Oh,” and glanced at Dorie. “Sure.” Then, although she’d made that offer only to keep from hearing about Deke’s history of sexcapades, she added, “We’d love to.” And then stared at Dorie with as strong a you-are-doing-this-with-me vibe as possible.
Dorie got the hint, thank God. “We totally would,” she said without even a second’s hesitation. She pulled out her phone. “I have a meeting at 9:30, but maybe we could head out to Ella’s farm after that. I think Nate mentioned possibly filming from there. Her porch has a fantastic view.”
Fitz tried not to openly show her relief, but from the way Johnny glanced at her and then Sam before turning to Dorie, she had a feeling he could tell. But he didn’t make a big deal of it and Sam took it totally in stride as well, so that was good. And, hopefully, all aboveboard because she liked him and would very much like to work for him and it would suck big time if he was, in fact, a total jerk. So maybe this was a test of some kind. See how the potential candidate handles all the good-looking player types who’ll be coming at her each and every day.
Deke, in the meantime, tipped his chair back, for the most part appearing completely unfazed. But she could see the white of his knuckles as he clutched the back of the chair next to him, and his jaw was clenched so tightly she was afraid he might actually break it.
“Well on that note...” Wash said, standing once the arrangements had been made. “I’ve got an early morning, as usual. ‘Night, all.”
Jason stood up as well, nodding at Sam and Johnny. “Nice to see you guys. Let me know if you want a tour of the high school. I’ve got some fantastic senior projects I’d be happy to show off.”
Wash put his hand on Jason’s shoulder. “The frightening thing is that he’s entirely serious.”
“What?” Jason asked, as Wash steered them toward the front door. “You should see what one of the kids did with graphing...”
With an almost apologetic smile, Dorie said to everyone still at the table, “They really are good. I think we should rope in the high school kids with some kind of contest to help us with the designs for Baseball City.”
Which was what they’d all been calling the Iowa Dream Academy since the votes had come in last week and it was unanimously decided to go full speed ahead. It was keeping Fitz busy at the moment and she was good with that.
After a long and somewhat awkward moment of silence that even Fitz didn’t try to fill, Sam said, “I guess we’ll call it a night, too. We’ll see you ladies in the morning,” and then nodded at Deke.
Dorie also got up, saying, “I’ll walk out with you.” She reached over and gave Deke a hug. With a wave toward Fitz, Dorie said, “I’ll call you,” over her shoulder as she joined Sam and Johnny. And before Fitz could even register what had happened, they were out the door, too, leaving Fitz alone with Deke.
“So...” she mumbled, glad to have a minute to catch her breath.
Except then Deke said, “What the hell was that?”
Fitz went still.
“What?” she asked. Because, honestly, there were so many things, not one of which she wanted to address.
And she had no idea which one he’d pick until he came out and, every muscle in his body tense, asked, “Would it really be so bad? Telling people we’re a thing?”
Maybe another man wouldn’t have seen the downright terror in her eyes. Maybe another man wouldn’t have cared. But Deke had and he did, and there was a sting of disappointment in the air all around them when she didn’t answer right away. Before she could say or do anything to fix it, though, he muttered, “Right,” and stared down at the cards in front of him. Then he suddenly leaned forward and gathered them up. “I’ve got to get back to work. If you’re sure you want to hang around, I’ll be ready to go in about an hour.”
Of
course
she wanted to hang around. That was the whole problem. She wanted to be with him all the time. She’d even begun to think about what it would mean to be away from him if she got this new job.
Well, pretty much everyone she cared about, but mostly him, which went against almost everything she’d spent her entire life believing. She would not rely on a man. She would not change her life for anyone. But it had never occurred to her that she’d be here in this completely unfamiliar place with
Deke
.
She couldn’t say any of that, of course. She could barely even think it. Especially not when he was so obviously unhappy. She couldn’t handle her own emotions; she didn’t have the first clue how to handle his.
“Okay,” she mumbled, looking down. By the time she managed to raise her eyes again, he was up and headed to the bar, not even glancing back in her direction.
Which was when it fully hit her. It wasn’t just the way he was with Nate, or how he’d almost lost it with Jules. There were actual changes in him. His reaction to Johnny. The way he was nodding at something Josh was saying, friendly but not actually interacting with the regulars. He let Josh handle the bar and instead began busing tables. It even bothered Fitz a little that he didn’t give Peggy’s table a second glance, as crazy as that seemed.
She’d changed him. She’d broken
him
.
Although she finally got up to help and got a smile in acknowledgement, it wasn’t until they were in his truck and on their way that she finally got the nerve to say something. “I want you to be happy.”
Deke glanced over at her before turning his attention back to the road. “Is something going on with you and Price?”
“Sam?” Leave it to Deke to figure out Johnny wasn’t even close to being a problem despite being front and center.
“Because if you want to sleep with him,” Deke said, his voice so even it almost didn’t even sound like him, “then I’d rather you just come out and say it.”
Sleep with
Sam
? “
No
.”
His eyes came to hers quickly, as if searching to make sure she was telling the truth. But he had to know she wouldn’t lie to him. And, yes, his expression softened as he looked back out at the road. Which was when she should have told him about the job. She absolutely needed to tell him. But he was already upset. Plus at this point, with the completely random Sam/Johnny visit, she had even less of a clue if they were seriously considering her for the job, so telling him now would make it all that much worse.