Called to Order (32 page)

“Can you not simply ask Larissa, Father?” Adam suggested.

“Your sister has grown very close to Cain since she has become a married female. She confides in him more than she does her sister or mother. With that confidence comes trust, and I do not know if she would willingly break that bond being that she is perfectly aware of what consequences her brother faces.”

“An absolute mess,” Ezekiel grumbled. “And you are sure the dreams your mate has had have been shared dreams?”

“Cain has spoken words to her she otherwise would not recognize.”

“She has been here a few days, perhaps she picked up some of the vernacular without realizing it,” his grandfather countered.

“Perhaps, but even so, why would Cain approach her as he did?”

“If…” Ezekiel began with a heavy sigh, “If Cain is in fact sharing dreams with her that would mean he is being called to her as well. I do not understand how such a thing is possible, but suppose it is. Who is to say if Annalise belongs to you or your brother?”

“Anna is to say!” Adam said, outraged at the idea that she was not his. “She is
my
mate. I love her and she loves me. No other man will touch her so long as I still breathe.”

“Sit down, Adam. No one is taking Anna from you,” his father said from his place by the mantle. “If Anna chooses you, she will have you. We would never dream of denying you that right. Your grandfather was only pointing out the fact that if Cain is being called to her as well, he will feel equally entitled.”

Adam growled. “Has he come to
anyone
and confessed his symptoms? Has he even approached the council to defend his actions? No. He may be somehow connected to Anna through me, but I refuse to admit that it is anything more than some genetic fluke because we are twins! He has overstepped, and if he does it again, he will not live to run away. Brother or not, I will not tolerate such disrespect.”

Jonas approached his son. “Adam, go home. Find your mate and once and for all, convince her to go through with the bond. You are both my sons, I have loved you each the same amount of days, and I refuse to let this go on any longer. Once Annalise is irrevocably yours, Cain will show himself and we will get to the bottom of this. Until then we are only playing a guessing game none of us have the answers for.”

* * * *

When Adam returned home that evening, it was to find Anna sitting cross-legged like a child upon his bed, her chemise draping off her pale shoulder and her gorgeous hair spilling freely down her back. She held an open Bible in her lap.

“Well, there is a beautiful sight.” He hung his hat and leaned in to kiss her cheek.

“Do you read this often? I found it in your drawer,” she said, motioning to the Bible.

“I do not read it as often as I should.”

“I do not know any of this. I never really went to church, and the only thing I remember from Sunday school is that my teachers slip showed when she read to us.”

“Such a good student you must have been,” he teased. “Did you have a nice visit with Rachel?”

“Yes. I have to thank your grandfather for introducing us. I like her a lot.”

“I will tell him you said that. He will be pleased.” He had removed his clothing and gently took the Bible from her hands and placed it on the bedside table. His lips touched her shoulder, and she shivered. “You always smell like honeysuckle. Is it soap or your natural scent?”

“I would assume it’s soap,” she said, smiling as he eased her back into the mattress. His fingers plucked the string from the garment and pulled the sheer material back, exposing her breasts. She felt her lower body tighten in anticipation.

“Anna, my love, I did not feed before I came to bed.”

She smiled as he kissed a trail between her breasts and he pressed her gown up to her hips. Her legs fell open as he deftly toyed with her sex. “Are you asking if you can drink from me, Adam?”

He pressed one long finger into her core, and her back curved as her hips followed the movement. “I am.” His breath heated the damp tip of her nipple. “How did I ever live without you? You plague my every thought, Annalise. I am ashamed to say I have less control over my body now than I did as a boy.”

She moaned and arched as he continued to torment her so. After several moments of simply touching each other with a familiarity almost inappropriate for a courtship as brief as theirs, Adam slowly moved up her body and replaced his fingers with his erection.

The fullness overwhelmed Anna as it always did. Her legs wrapped around his torso as he moved over her. He held her tightly as they made love with their mouths as well. Remembering what he asked, she finally said, “Yes, Adam, you may take what you need from me.”

He stilled for a moment and looked at her. His fangs had already extended, and his eyes were more diamond shaped than spherical. He licked at her mouth and she did the same, her tongue dancing over the sharp incisor. As she pulled her tongue back into her mouth, she tasted her own blood. He seemed in no rush to feed, satisfied with simply making love to her for the time being.

“Will I turn if I taste your blood?”

He paused, taken off guard by her question. She wasn’t sure why she’d asked such a thing. She did not recall even thinking it, but at the moment, the idea of drinking from Adam the way he drank from her seemed to be the most erotic idea she’d had ever had.

“
Ainsicht,
it only takes a swallow, I am told. You would not want to risk it. Not until you are sure.”

She nodded but could not hide her disappointment. “You need the ceremony then?”

“The ceremony is more religious than necessary. We do it that way because it is how we have always done things. Anyone could convert a human without making a vow I suppose. We just never have.”

“Do you plan on asking me then, to be your wife I mean? If I recall, the last time you asked you did not do such a fine job.”

All movement ceased. “Anna, have you made a decision?”

“You won’t know unless you ask, Adam.”

He smiled. “Annalise, will you do me the honor of spending eternity with me, by my side, letting me love you for as many lifetimes as we both shall live?”

She kissed his chin. “Yes, Adam. I will. So long as you let me sneak a radio into our house.”

“Anything you need I shall provide.” Then he kissed her.

“When can we get married?”

“In two days’ time.”

She frowned. “Why two days?”

“The women will want to make you your dress, and there are the food preparations as well. The entire farm will be present. That is quite a bit of food. Speaking of which,” he paused to lick her throat. “I am dying to taste you.”

“Please,” she begged, and he sunk his teeth into her delicate flesh, a thousand sparks of ecstasy splintering from every nerve along her spine.

Chapter 23

After a night of making love well into dawn, Anna was exhausted. Adam had woken her up early in the morning, the sky still a striking shade of purple, to tell her he would be gone for most of the day. He had said he needed to see how things were progressing with their new home. She was shocked when he announced it would be most likely habitable by the day of their wedding. She didn’t believe him, but also didn’t see the need to dispute his confidence. After he had left, she continued to sleep.

She’d had an odd dream that she was still replaying by the time Gracie came to pull her from bed. In her dream she had sat in a field as the sun was setting. She watched the colors of the day fade to a magnificent rainbow of deeper tones and thought this was what her forefathers had meant when they spoke of
amber waves of grain and purple mountain majesties
. It was no wonder the Amish lived in such places. Sometimes it seemed as if they were so close to heaven, they were tucked within the breast of a holy spirit. Even the way the rays of sun pierced the clouds here, it seemed as if they were fingers of God.

She had sat in that field completely satisfied. There was no need for worldly riches or stimulating man-made things. She had found a moment of peace she never knew she craved yet knew now she could never give up. It was during that tranquil epiphany that Anna noticed another figure in the distance, sitting about fifty feet away, mimicking her exact pose. She strained her eyes and saw Adam’s strong shoulders and thick dark hair and smiled.

In an electric-like flicker, he moved closer without ever standing. He now sat a mere ten feet from her, his legs crossed at the ankles and tucked close to his chest, his arms folded in a non-threatening manner across his knees. She looked at his face, and her heart stuttered. It was Cain.

“Please do not run. I will not chase you,” he said softly.

She kept her eyes on him, watching for any sudden movements. He remained completely still, just watching her. They sat in silence for quite a while, simply watching each other. Anna found she had plucked a long willowy blade of wheat from the ground. She subconsciously dragged the stem through her fingers, the follicles prickling against her softly calloused fingertips like tiny splinters and the plume of grains at the end soothing the abrasion with their softness.

“Tell me something Adam does not know,” he finally said.

Anna considered this. Cain was a man who had not treated her kindly. He had caused his brother and family much tension over the last week, yet here, in this peaceful dream, he did not seem to hold any ill-planned motives. She did not want to disturb the serenity of the moment. For peace’s sake, she offered, “I can write my name with my toes.”

He laughed, a laugh much like his brother’s but slightly coarser. “Did you not have use of your hands as a child?”

“No. I just could always pick things up with my feet. One day I tried to hold a pencil. I could, so I wrote my name with it. It’s a stupid talent, but there you go.”

“Not stupid. Charming.”

“Do you have a hidden talent?” She had a feeling after the next couple days, Cain would not be around very much. He was part of Adam’s life and therefore she wanted to know him in some minor way. If this were her opportunity to do just that, she would take advantage of it, so long as he continued to be respectful.

“I have none.”

“Everyone has some sort of talent.”

“Perhaps, but not me. I cannot read thoughts, and I am terrible at sensing emotions. I have a difficult time lulling animals. I cannot whittle, and I cannot sing.”

“Neither can I.”

“You are human.”

“So?”

He shrugged. “I cannot hold things with my feet either.”

“Sounds to me like you have a gift for thinking negatively.”

He attempted to pout, but she saw the side of his mouth kick up in amusement. “Do you like it here?”

“Very much.” He opened his mouth as if to ask another question but then dropped his head and said nothing.

She waited a few moments then asked, “Are you really here or am I imagining you?”

“I am here.”

“Do you know why?”

“Because you are my mate, and he is taking you from me. This is the first time you have seen me without being frightened, and I sense the threads that tie us together unraveling with each word we speak. I’m losing you.”

“I was never yours.”

His head lifted sharply, his eyes boring holes into hers. “Do not doubt it. You are as much mine as you are my brother’s.”

“They say it isn’t possible.”

“And so we are all proven wrong as I am here, sharing a dream with a mate I will never know the feeling of before I die. I wonder if your hair is a soft as it appears. I suppose it will be one of life’s unanswered mysteries.”

“What about what you said in the carriage?”

“I was wrong. I apologize for scaring you. I always knew he was a little bit better than me. I thought myself humble enough to accept that. For thirty-seven years I have not complained about the way things always were, yet when put to the test, I failed. The better man has won the fair lady’s heart. If I take you, as I could, you would hate me for eternity. It is a long time, eternity. I seem to be growing tired of it. So you see, if I were to take you, I would lose my brother, a part of myself that has always been, and in turn, lose you. The family will forgive my absence. They would not forgive me Adam’s death.”

“Will you leave?”

“I will try.” He sighed. “There are moments where I hate just enough to say curse them all and take what I need, what I know I am entitled to.”

“I would fight you.”

“You would lose.” They stared at each other for a minute, a game of chicken Anna knew was a complete bluff on her part.

“So you plan to just walk away? Why should I believe that?”

“I do not lie.”

“You sound like Adam.”

“It seems I was created in the image of a saint, always emulating, but never first so never in the lead. It’s dark forever standing in someone else’s shadow. It would do me well to step into the light.”

“Won’t you get…sick? They say if you don’t follow your calling, you become more animal than man. Your father told me about your uncle and what happened to him.”

“I was not born then. It is a tale we have all been told. Tell me, how long did you believe in Saint Nick?”

“Until I was twelve.”

“Well, perhaps you are more astute than I. I am thirty-seven and just now starting to wonder if I ever did have an Uncle Isaiah or if perhaps he is just a tall tale to make us do as The Order expects.”

“He was your father’s friend.”

“Yet he let him die. They will do the same for me because it is easier than embracing the ugly, messy parts of life we cannot pray away.”

It suddenly occurred to Anna that if Cain did in fact die it would be partly because of her. She frowned and hung her head. “You will die, and it will be my fault.”

She wanted him to say something, argue with her, and reassure her that it was okay. That’s what Adam would have done. Yet Cain remained silent. “It’s cruel to let me take the blame,” she said, wanting to hurt him suddenly, let her comment sting him, show him that such inadequacies were exactly why she had chosen his brother and not him.

“
Life
is cruel. And now you are going to marry my brother and sentence yourself to an eternity of it. Let me offer you a bit of advice, sweet, foolish Annalise, a wedding present if you will. Anyone who stands as Adam’s equal never is. You will always be a little bit short, a little bit uncouth, a little bit ugly next to a man like him. You had better come to terms with that now, because it is the way it will always be. When you have children, it will be his eyes they look for in their faces, his strength they pray they inherit. You will always come out less interesting and guilty in every quarrel so long as you choose to have him by your side.”

She felt each measured breath fill her lungs as her tongue pressed painfully against the back of her teeth. She wanted to slap him to punish him for such horrible words, yet she had just enough self-doubt to recognize the truth in what he said. “Your own insecurities are bared in your words,” she said carefully. “You’re right. I will never be as good as Adam, but all the more reason to feel proud that such a good man wants me by his side. You sacrificed that honor the day you betrayed him—”

His arm slashed through the air, and he was suddenly on his feet, standing over her, a look of fury in his eyes, “I betrayed nothing! You are my right as much as you are his! I could snatch you from the bed you sleep upon and take you away where they would never find you! Adam is arrogant to think he holds me at bay. It is my own pride that controls me, not his! He who flaunts his victory, gambles to lose it. Let him wave this in my face, and I will show him how equal we truly are. All he has over me, he has only because I allow it.”

A snapping crack of thunder broke the air, and the earth rumbled below her. Silver bolts of lightning forked down from the heavens, stabbing into the fields. An unholy wind came from every direction. Ugly clouds of gray rolled over the blackening sky, blotting out every star. Anna’s heart began to pound.

“I have decided humility earns a man little,” he seethed. “I may be prideful more than any man should, but I am realizing pride can be an easy substitute for guilt. Let you and my brother know, my gift comes at the price of your humility. Forgo the humble grace I deserve and I will take it back.”

Before she could react, he reached out and touched a lock of her hair, his fingers rubbing over the strands, his eyes seeming to see some distant place she was not privy to. He dropped it before she could push his hand away.

“Wake now, Annalise, before I come and take you in your sleep despite my promises.”

Anna had awakened with a start. She spent the next hour lying paralyzed under the weight of her thoughts until Gracie had come and scattered them away. Now she sat silently between Abilene and Grace in a small open carriage as a horse briskly pulled them into town. They were going to purchase material for her wedding attire. Anna knew she should be excited, but since her dream, she had felt as though some contented emotion had been stolen from her.

It was odd walking into a shop dressed as an Amish girl. She was advised not to speak to others as her words and accent would easily give her heritage away, and Amish law typically stated that the Amish marry within their own. It was not a law that Adam’s order followed for obvious reasons, but there were other orders that needed to be considered. Abilene had explained in some detail that the one law they held above all others was that their kind not be threatened by irresponsible acts that could expose their people. It sounded like a good rule to Anna, so she remained silent.

The town’s people were mostly English. When their buggy passed another Amish buggy, Abilene would kindly wave. A young Amish boy whom Anna was told was completely human had passed their carriage and taken his time eyeing Gracie. Anna wondered if it bothered the young girl to live so reclusively on the farm without many opportunities to date or do any of the other things normal twenty-one-year-olds did. It seemed to Anna that everyone treated Gracie as if she was fifteen rather than as a woman in her own right, yet Gracie never seemed to act as if this bothered her.

After Abilene and Gracie sorted through numerous bolts of fabric and held them up against Anna’s complexion, they finally settled on a soft, silky ivory material delicately threaded with vines of white and a thicker material of light blue. When they returned to the buggy, Abilene made suggestions about what parts of the farm would be good places to collect flowers. As they drew closer to the farm, Anna heard an unnatural pounding in the distance. It seemed a clatter of taps and zipping rolls. The hammering grew louder the closer they came to the big house and that was when Anna realized what the noise was.