Authors: Jillian Hart
"If anyone could, it would be her." He didn't feel comfortable saying more. No one's kindness could mean as much to him as Lila's had. His throat tightened with the feelings he could not speak. They remained wedged beneath his Adam's apple, a lump he could not budge.
"What was she like?" She handed him the small jug, deliciously cold from the water.
"She is pure caring." The deeper reaches of his consciousness could still remember the lilting softness of her voice reaching him through the fever and nightmares. For a time, she'd been his anchor, the only one he'd known in his adult life. "She has brown hair, but no ordinary brown. It has layers of color. Cinnamon. Auburn. Russet. Ginger. Chestnut."
"She was beautiful."
"To me, she's the most beautiful of women." The lump in his throat expanded, straining his words, making it hard to speak. "She has eyes that are the color of a northern sea, an eddy of ocean green and stormy blue sky that can make even a man like me dream."
"I have brown hair. I have green-and-blue eyes." She narrowed her gaze at him and plucked open the basket. Fresh strawberries spilled out of an ironware bowl and tumbled over onto a neighboring stack of sugar cookies. "You aren't being serious."
"How do you know?" He grinned, hiding his heart because she would not believe him. He didn't blame her. A sweetheart like her would not be interested in a man who had made bad choices in his life. Some choices could not be reversed, some acts could never be redeemed. The river's whisper and the melody of larks and Lila's sunny presence kept him in the light, away from the past.
"Have a strawberry. They were brought into the store fresh this morning." She held the basket out to him, refusing to stop taking care of him.
"I've told you a secret." He plucked a ripe berry from the bowl. "Now it's your turn."
"You didn't tell me a secret. I think you were playing a joke on me. Not a mean joke, but you managed to avoid my question quite nicely."
He pushed off the boulder, ignoring the protest of his healing wounds and the rush in his head from standing too quickly. "I answered your question the best I could. No one in twenty years has been as close to me as you."
"Oh." She gave her braid a toss, lifting her chin so that her gaze met his. Whatever she felt remained shielded and the saucy uplift in the corners of her mouth gave no clue. "Is that only because you were shot and couldn't escape me?"
"Yes, that's exactly the reason why. The only reason why." He held the berry to her lips. "Ladies first."
"Surely you had friends growing up?" She took the strawberry from him and popped it into her mouth.
"For a time in the orphanage, but it was difficult. The other children were always coming or going and the lucky few were adopted. I was hired out to a different place every year."
"No friends." She set the basket down on the boulder. "I can't imagine what that must have been like. My friends, the seven of us, have mostly been together since we were very young. They have been my pillars. When I lost my mother, they helped see me through."
"I'm glad you have them." He pulled her into his arms.
She rested her cheek against his sun-warmed shirt and her soul stilled. She listened to the steady beat of his heart as his iron-strong arms wrapped around her. Complete peace. Total bliss. Feelings filled her that were purely romantic, as poetic as if they had come straight off the pages of a novel. Not even Earlee, who was gifted with paper and pen, could have written a scene more moving than the joy she felt in Burke's arms.
And he was alone. He had no one, except for her. She breathed in the sunshine and soap scent of his shirt and let her eyes drift shut. "Who did you have to see you through? Wasn't there anyone you could turn to?"
"No one." His cheek caressed her forehead with one tender stroke, then two before he drew away and released her. "You will have to do."
His shadow fell across her, engulfing her, cutting off all light from the sun above. She could not stop her feelings from rising up buoyant to the surface. Unspoken affection darkened his gaze that was so deep she could see past his defenses. She could hear what words could not give meaning to.
"Thank you for everything you've done for me." His baritone dipped, tiered with feeling. He cradled her jaw with his calloused hands. No man could be gentler. "You saved my life when I was shot."
"I applied bandages and pressure." She couldn't help leaning her cheek against the rough pads of his fingers. The well of emotion she felt for him deepened fathom by fathom. "It was nothing."
"You read to me. You put cold compresses to my forehead." He leaned a wisp closer so that she could see the lighter blue flecks in his irises and each individual whisker stubble. "You stayed with me every time I felt most alone."
"I don't have much else to do." Her humor fell short.
He did not smile. He did not chuckle. "Tomorrow when your pa returns to his delivery driving, make sure he takes a gun with him. It would be best if he didn't go alone. It would be worth the cost to hire someone."
"I'll tell him." She felt cold, although the sun blazed and baked through her cotton dress. "You are going back to work tomorrow, aren't you?"
"I have a job to do." He leaned his forehead gently against hers. The contact was more poignant than a kiss. She could feel his regrets. She knew he was preparing to tell her goodbye. He cleared his throat. "I won't forget what you did for me, Lila. I will never forget."
"You think this is the end, that we won't have the chance to see one another again?" She could feel tension move through him. "I thought we were friends."
"We're not friends." He nudged her jaw, tilting her face to his. His lips slanted inches above hers and hovered for a fraction of a second. Then his mouth brushed over hers with a light, feathering kiss. A kiss so sweet it brought tears to her eyes. A kiss that stilled her soul.
When he broke away, he stared out at the horizon for a moment, as if warring with his internal thoughts. He did not move but held on to her for a few minutes more. She recognized the wish moving through his heart because the same wish moved through hers.
"No, we are not friends," she agreed. It was a good thing she wasn't falling in love with him because that kiss alone could have made her tumble irrevocably, inexorably. "I think we will always be a good deal more."
She swirled away from him to pluck a cookie from the basket, wishing he was a settling-down kind of man. Tucking away her tender feelings, she splashed through the water and kicked up a cool spray.
He chuckled, not quick enough in his weakened state to dodge it, but his good-natured laughter rang above the merry birdsong and burned itself into her memory, a sound she still could hear hours later long after the sun had set and darkness fell.
As she sat in her room finishing her letter to Meredith, she remembered Burke's booming laughter and his kiss, her first kiss.
Now that was definitely like something out of a book. She dipped her pen into the bottle, tapped off the excess ink and continued writing with a smile on her face and in her heart.
Chapter Ten
"M
y pa is looking to hire another gun." In dream, Olly dropped a pinecone on the top of the stump.
They were target practicing again in the stuffy heat of a muggy August evening, his only free time off from fieldwork and chores around the farm. Burke set the gun on its butt. He pulled the last bullet from the leather pouch tied to his belt. Tonight he needed to melt more lead.
"It's a real job. You interested?" Olly swung his sleek Winchester by the barrel as he strode through the grass, crushing daisies beneath his boots.
"Interested? Sure." Burke sited carefully. "But I can't walk away from my fieldwork just for one day's work. The farmer would tan my hide and there's no one to stop him from hitting me. If he kicked me out, I'd have to go back to the orphanage."
"It's not work for only one night, stupid." Olly spat a stream of tobacco and laughed with a mature confidence. He was grown up for his years. They might be the same age, but Olly was older somehow. Rough language slid easily off his tongue, and he knew a lot of the world. "This is a legitimate job offer."
"With pay?" Burke squeezed the trigger, the flash bang of the long rifle knocked him back a foot but the pinecone shattered into a hundred pieces. Perfect hit.
"Pay, room and board. Long term. It's gun work. You would be providing security for my pa." Olly leaned his Winchester against the rough bark of a skinny pine and untied his pack. "You would stay with us. Pa would pay you a dollar a day."
"A whole dollar?" That was thirty dollars a month. Over three hundred a year. He would be rich. He put down his gun, raked a hand through his hair and tried to imagine having so much money.
He could buy a fine driving team and maybe a shiny buggy to go with it. Or he could buy his own land, maybe it wouldn't be a big place, but he didn't need much. A little shanty with a roof and a cookstove, maybe his own milk cow. His own horse and buggy, his own house. Maybe he could save up enough to go back to school. He had the notion of becoming a Range Rider one day, and he figured he needed a lot of schooling for that.
Excitement jumped in his belly, and he felt hungry for those dreams. Desperate to have them.
"I've never seen anyone shoot the way you can." Olly pulled out a silver flask. "That's talent. Real talent."
"It's just shooting." He shrugged. It came easily to him, as simple as breathing. His talent didn't seem like anything special, but if it could get him out of the farmer's house and earn him money, he wasn't going to argue. His back was still scabbed and tender from his last beating. "You are serious? Thirty dollars a month?"
"As serious as a judge." Olly uncapped the flask and the strong scent of alcohol carried on the wind. Whiskey, Burke knew because the farmer drank it. Olly handed over the alcohol. "All you have to do is keep a sharp eye out and make sure Pa and his men stay safe. Are you in?"
"Yeah. Why not? Anything is better than what I've got." He took the whiskey, feeling good about his decision. He would sneak back to the farmer's house, pack up his clothes and bedroll and he would be free. A man on his own. He lifted the flask and coughed when the burning whiskey hit his tongue. It tasted the way kerosene smelled, but he choked it down. He was a man now and he was in control of his own destiny.
Burke woke with a start, blinked away the dream and sat straight up in bed with the taste of betrayal on his tongue. The sun was bright, traffic sounds clattered through the open window to echo in his rented room. He'd slept longer than he'd intended, judging by the slant of the sun on the floor. He pushed off the covers, ignored the trembling weakness when he stood and the pain in his chest when he moved and poured water from the pitcher into the washbasin.
His hand was steady enough this morning to shave. As he scraped at his whiskers with the sharp edge of his razor, he realized he hadn't trusted another living soul since that first taste of whiskey with Olly. The mistakes of his past stood in his way and he couldn't be the man Lila needed. If he could have just one prayer answered, then that would be it.
He set his razor on the rim of the basin and splashed water over his face. Yesterday's happiness clung to him. He couldn't remember having a better day. He hadn't been that happy in ages. He grabbed the towel off the bar and dried off. But yesterday's sparkling moment of happiness didn't belong in his life.
He got dressed. He bit back a groan of pain as he slipped into a white shirt. He buttoned up, trying to stop the musical lilt of her laughter rising up in his memory. She'd refused to believe he was a villain. She was wrong.
If God was merciful, He would never let Lila know the truth. Burke tugged on his trousers, sat down to put on his boots and bowed his head instead.
She isn't in Your plan for me, this I know, but keep her protected. Find for her the man who can make her happy beyond imagining.
He reached for his belt and holster. The man who stared back at him in the mirror radiated hard, cold purpose. The besotted fellow who laughed in the river yesterday had gone and was no more. Burke pinned on his tin star. Work waited for him. He buckled on his holster. Work was his life. It was the only thing that could redeem him. Today was the day he made Dobbs and everyone else see the man he used to be. He hated that Lila would see it, too.
"
"I didn't make a single mistake tallying the sales yesterday, did I?" Lark asked anxiously as she peered around the edge of the shelf she was dusting. "I double-checked every total."
"You did it perfectly." Lila swiped away the figures on her slate with a rag. "Not a penny off, and you remembered every sale price. Eunice will have to admit you can handle the store on your own now."
"I want to be like Ma." Lark went back to stocking. Hidden behind the aisle of pots and pans, the honesty of her hopes rang as clear as a bell. "Maybe it can be the two of us running this store one day. It can be the happy place it once was when Ma was alive."
"It's a good plan." So easy to remember those happy days when their mother rushed around this space, humming to herself as she restocked or did the books or cleaned, tossing loving looks to Pa all the while.
That was the kind of love she longed to find. She refused to let her thoughts spiral back to yesterday afternoon. Do not think about his kiss, she warned herself as she snapped open the accounts receivable ledger.
The door swooshed, the bell sang merrily and her dear friend Kate Schmidt waltzed in with her sleek dark hair tamed by a ladylike knot. "How is your pa?"
"He's at the sheriff's office filing a report." Lila circled the counter to hug her friend. Burke rolled into her mind. Pa was probably talking with him right now.
"It's a shame he has to do that. I don't suppose Dobbs will do anything." Kate headed straight for the far end of the store.
"Burke will look after him. I know he will take care of Pa." Lila slipped behind the fabric counter. "A man like him, why he could even get our horses back."
"I hope so." Kate shook her head. "First the bank and now this. Pa isn't going to let me drive alone anymore, at least until those men are caught. He came with me. He's over at the feed store."
"I know how you love to drive." Kate lived far west of town in the foothills of the Rocky Mountain range and now that she had her own horse, she was always out in the cute little cart her father had made her. Lila knelt to retrieve the colorful flosses she'd saved for her friend. "Does this mean you won't be coming tomorrow?"
"No, I'll be there, although I won't be able to stay as long as usual." Kate ran her fingertips over the beautiful threads. "Oh, these are perfect. Just what I wanted."
"I slipped them in as a special order, but Eunice hasn't found out yet." Lila tore off a length of brown paper to wrap the pretty flosses in. "Is this for a new project?"
"Always." Kate loved to cross-stitch. "You'll be able to see it tomorrow. Ma has a few things she wants me to pick up while I'm here. Oh, Lila, look."
They turned together to the front windows. On the boardwalk across the street a tall, lanky young man with very nice shoulders marched along with great purpose.
"Lorenzo." Kate sighed. "I am always going to have a crush on him. He's dreamy."
"I suppose."
"You
suppose?
You were always sighing right along with me. Something is wrong." Kate didn't take her gaze off the man as he stopped to chat with a shopkeeper out sweeping his walk. "You can't be feeling well, Lila. Maybe you should have Eunice check you for a fever."
Lila bit her lip. How did she begin to describe her association with Burke? The closeness, the kiss, the laughter and then the feeling of goodbye? She couldn't fight the suspicion that she wouldn't see him again.
"My dear sister has chosen someone else!" Lark popped up to comment. "She's in love with the new deputy."
"Lark!" How could her own sister betray her like that? "It's not love. I'm not like that with him." She bit her lip. Did what she just say make any sense? She didn't think so. "I mean, it's not like that with him. I'm not in love with him."
"No, you are calm as could be talking about him." Kate's mouth quirked up at the corners, as if fighting a smile. Across the street Lorenzo nodded goodbye to his friend and continued on, stalking out of sight. Kate sighed. "Maybe he has replaced Lorenzo in your affections?"
"I've decided to give no man my affection." She couldn't say more or that when Burke's work in Angel Falls was done, he would leave town forever. She grabbed a basket from the stack by the door and handed it over. Pa stormed into sight on the boardwalk, shoved open the door with a clatter and pounded into the store.
"Pa!" She'd never seen him glowing red with anger. His battered eye had swollen shut, the skin a shocking purple-black.
"I'm fed up." His puffy lip twisted with rage. "Forgive me, girls, but that sheriff burns me. I can't remember the last time I've been this furious."
He slammed his fist into the counter, vehemence heaving through him. Lila jumped. Lark gasped. Kate stared wide-eyed as he took a deep, calming breath.
"Papa." She laid her hand on his forearm. "What happened?"
"Dobbs, that's what. He refuses to investigate." Pa gentled his voice, regaining control. "He says it happened outside of town, so it's not his job."
"I'm not surprised." Everyone she knew had a complaint about Dobbs. "Why don't we find Burke? I know he cares. He can make this right."
"Hannigan? Ha!" Pa spit out the word and jerked his arm away. "He was the worst. Standing around in the sheriff's office, a newcomer to town, questioning me on what happened."
"He has to do that if he is going to investigate." She ached for her poor father as he pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead and accidentally bumped the stitches marching along his hairline.
He winced. "That wasn't what he was doing, Lila. I know you are a good girl and you don't know the ways of the world. Eunice and I have seen that you don't, but believe me when I say the deputy was less than helpful."
That made no sense at all. She remembered the bliss of Burke's kiss and this concern about her father. "Did he try and tell you that you shouldn't go on your deliveries alone until he catches the thieves?"
"No. In fact, he questioned that it even happened at all. Can you imagine? He called me a liar to my face." He flushed with anger again and he pushed away, marching through the store. His hurt and indignation knelled in the hard strike of his boots. "You are never to talk to that man again, Lila. If he comes in this store, no one waits on him. Understand? You send him away. And don't forget to account for the supplies he used while he was here. I've decided to agree with Eunice and to bill him after all."
The door closed behind him with a bang, leaving them alone. Eunice's muffled voice of concern murmured through the ceiling above. Lila stared in disbelief at the closed door, not able to understand exactly what had happened. Burke wouldn't have been cruel to her father. He wouldn't have been disrespectful. Something was wrong.
"I've never seen Papa so angry," Lark whispered, worried again.
"It makes no sense." Simply thinking of him made her stronger. She knew he would make things right. "Pa must have misunderstood."
"He seemed fairly sure about what happened." Kate plucked a box of canning lids off the shelf. "I hate to say it, Lila, but if what he said about the deputy is true, you need to be careful. He might be cut from the same cloth as the sheriff."
"Impossible." Tenderness filled her as she hefted a five-pound sack of white sugar from a shelf for Kate. "I know him better than you do. He isn't anything like Dobbs."
"I pray that you're right," Kate said in her gentle way. "Looks can be deceiving."
"I'm not deceived." She thought of the badge still tucked away in her hope chest. She remembered how Burke had driven the wagon so she could make her deliveries although he was still in pain. His honor, his goodness and the tenderness of his kiss assured her. Burke would never do anything wrong.
If only she could speak to him, she knew she could make everything right. Her father's ultimatum kept her from leaving Lark in charge of the store and going straight to him. She would not disobey her pa.
She realized Kate had quietly gone about her shopping and carried a partially full basket to the front counter. Lila opened the sales book to a new page.
"Burke is one of the good guys," she assured her friend.
Kate nodded as if she wanted to believe it but didn't.
"
"That was a good touch, Hannigan." Dobbs moseyed over to the bar.