Authors: Sarah McCarty
“Don’t
know if she’s pregnant or if she could get pregnant?”
“Either.”
He’d never even considered the possibility. He turned to Slade. “Can a male
vampire get a female vampire pregnant?”
“How
the hell should I know? Procreation hasn’t been a subject that’s ever come up
before.”
“You’ve
been the one looking up all the lore.”
“You
know what I know. According to lore, which isn’t exactly science, vampires are
sterile.”
Shit!
Caleb ran his hand through his hair, resting his hand on the back of his neck,
squeezing hard as what Slade said sank in. He’d been making love for centuries
under the assumption—
the assumption—
that he couldn’t get a woman
pregnant. Goddamn it all to hell. Could Allie be pregnant?
“It
would explain a lot of things,” Jared said.
“For
what it’s worth, I’ve never heard of a vampire mating resulting in offspring,”
Derek offered.
Caleb
ran his hand through his hair again, ripping through a snarl, frustration,
elation, hope, and panic all combining in his gut. Maybe it wasn’t possible for
a female vampire to get pregnant, but he’d taken Allie as a human, part
changed, granted, but part human still. Maybe human enough to conceive.
“A
vampire baby?” He took a breath, struggling to contain the elation that soared.
A child. He might have a child. He settled his hat back on his head, reaching
for steady when all he wanted to do was shout with joy. Damn, a baby. Maybe
even a little Allie. Wouldn’t that be something? He hadn’t been around a baby
since Jace was born. They were tiny little things. Delicate. Helpless. Would a
vampire baby be bigger? Grow faster? Sure enough it would still need its
parents. It took everything he had to keep his drawl neutral. “What the hell
would that even look like?”
“Like
us.”
The
hoarse, angry whisper snapped into the room. Caleb turned. Allie stood in the
doorway, feathers bobbing on her head, her fingers gripping the jamb until the
knuckles showed white, and all the pain in the world glaring at him from her
big blue eyes.
Shit.
“HOW
long were you standing there?” Caleb asked.
Allie
pushed away from the wall. Her hands clenching into fists at her side. “Long
enough to know that beneath the vampire, men are still men.”
He
took a step toward her. “Allie girl . . .”
“Don’t.”
The
wave of her hand was supposed to warn him off, but if she thought that was
enough to keep him from her when she was hurting, she had another thing coming.
As soon as he got within striking distance, she lashed out. He caught her wrist
in his hand. Spinning her around was easy considering she’d put everything she
had into that blow. He grabbed her other hand and crossed her arms over her
torso, pulling her back against him, wincing when her heel connected with his
shin.
“Let
me go.”
“No.
You’re hurting.”
“You
called our baby a freak.”
Her
head snapped back into his face, striking squarely on his chin. Stars exploded
between his eyes. “Son of a bitch!”
Behind
him, chairs scraped across the floor. Slade reached for her. “Allie—”
Caleb
motioned him back, sinking to the floor, taking Allie with him. She didn’t make
it easy, fighting him all the way, her pain striking him harder than any blow
could have. She thought he didn’t want their baby. He braced his back against
the wall, turning Allie in his arms as he sat, keeping her arms pinned to her
torso with one arm as, with the other, he gripped her chin, bringing her gaze
to his. Her mouth worked. “If you spit at me, I swear to God, Allie Johnson,
I’ll strip you right here and paddle that lush little ass of yours.”
She
didn’t spit, but none of the mutiny left her face. “Sanders! It’s Allie
Sanders!”
“Call
yourself whatever you want, it doesn’t change the facts.”
“Any
more than any two-stepping you do now changes the fact that you don’t want our
baby.”
Not
want their baby? He shook his head. She couldn’t be more wrong. “Open those
ears, and hear me good. For over two hundred years I’ve lived with the thought
that this is as good as it got, one day blending into another. No kids, no
wife, and no hope. Just a future that plods on like a horse heading to the next
stop.”
“So?”
“So,
you stubborn woman,
if
, and it’s a mighty big if, you are somehow
miraculously carrying my child, then I have a reason to go on. One that I never
thought I’d get.”
“Which
means?”
“I
want my Goddamn baby!”
“What
if it looks like a freak?”
Son
of a bitch, she was pushing him. He tilted her head back and his anger
disappeared as if it had never existed, because beneath the challenge and
anger, he saw the fear and hurt that tore her apart. The same hope and hurt
that lodged in him when he looked into her face and she denied the permanence
of their relationship.
A
tear spilled down her cheek, her lips thinned, and her chin came up as if sheer
force of will could dispel that moment of weakness. He stroked his thumb over
her cheek, catching that tear on the pad, watching it spread as it hit the
grooves. The next stroke smoothed the salty drop into her skin. Another tear
hovered, ready to fall. “I want the child, Allie. Red, blue, or riddled with
polka dots, I want my child. More than you can ever comprehend.”
Doubt
clung to her expression, but she wanted to believe him. He could feel it. He
closed the small distance that stretched like a canyon between them, need and
desire making up equal parts of a kiss initially more pressure than passion.
Allie
had to believe him. Her lips were still under his, passively resisting his
demand. His gut wrenched. Allie was never passive. He pulled back a millimeter,
allowing just enough space that a breath of air could get through. He tightened
his grip, pulling her deeper into his embrace, as if eliminating the physical
distance between them could do something about the mental distance she was
establishing.
His
“You can believe me, baby” bridged the chasm, riding the lingering moisture and
emotion, spreading across her mouth, slipping inside as her lips parted on a
breath. He closed the gap, fitting his lips to hers, edge to edge, seam to
seam. Delicately. Gently. Respectfully. Because, dear God, she deserved it. He
tried to keep the passion out of the moment, tried to convey what she meant to
him through the kiss because her mind was closed to him.
And
she let him, just lying against him, allowing him to do what he wanted. As if
it didn’t matter—he didn’t matter—and then, when desperation was at its peak
and his vampire was howling at him to force her compliance, her lips moved.
Tentatively at first, little more than a soft fluttering, but then they parted,
relaxing all the way, inviting him in.
He
didn’t hesitate. He thrust his tongue into the dark warmth, claiming it as his,
claiming her as his, dragging her closer, needing her to be closer, wanting to
draw her so deeply inside him she wouldn’t be able to hold herself separately
again.
When
he pulled back, she was looking at him with bruised lips and eyes that showed
the bruise on her soul. He balanced her chin on his forefinger, sliding his
thumb into the moisture lingering on the lower curve, pulling her lip down
until the white edge of her teeth peeked at him. Another tear hovered, ready to
fall. “These tears are unnecessary.”
Her
hand came up to circle his wrist. Her gaze clung to his with the same
uncertainty. “I’m scared.”
That
soft confession gouged his soul. His indomitable Allie was afraid. “There’s
nothing to be scared of.”
“If
I’m pregnant there’s a whole heck of a lot to terrify me.”
“I’ll
take care of you.”
“Unless
you have a set of initials after your name that read OB/GYN, I don’t think your
care will do me much good.”
He stroked
his thumb along the edge of her lip. “I’m your husband.”
“Lover.”
She
could split hairs all she wanted, it didn’t change the facts. She was his
future, and he was hers. “I’m all you have. Initials or not.”
“That’s
not a comfort.”
He
knew that, too. “Comfort or not, it’s what you’ve got.”
Her
eyes narrowed. Her grip on his wrist stayed firm, but something in her eyes
softened, giving him hope.
“I
won’t fail you, Allie girl.”
“You
realize, of course, that I have absolutely no reason to believe, even if you
mean it, that your promise is going to be enough.”
“True.”
Her
gaze clung to his, the fringes of her mind stretching to enfold his. He felt
her anger, her frustration, but mostly her hope. “So why in the hell do I
believe you?”
“Because
I don’t lie.”
She
was shaking her head before he finished the sentence. “That’s not it.”
“Are
you saying I lie?”
“I’m
saying your honesty, or lack thereof, is not part of the equation.”
“Then
why do you think you believe me?”
No
minute was ever longer than the one she subjected him to as she studied him,
her lips pursing around his finger with the rhythm of her thoughts. She
couldn’t really believe him. Logic said he was the devil to her angel, the evil
to her good, but as he sat there as each second passed, more and more of him
wanted her belief. Her trust. Shit, he was as irrational as she was.
“I
trust you for the same reason I came back for you after the wolf ripped your
throat out.” She touched the scar on her finger, permanent because he willed it
so. “I trust you because my gut tells me to.”
Caleb
wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his embrace, pressing her face to
his chest, breathing in her scent, making it part of him, gratitude to whomever
had given him this woman flowing out of him on a silent prayer of thanks. “Then
you, Allie Johnson, are a damn fool.”
SHE
wasn’t a fool. Her family thought her dead. Her vampirism made her into
something she didn’t recognize, she might be pregnant, and all she had to cling
to was Caleb, but she wasn’t a fool. She was a fish temporarily out of water,
but even flopping around as she was, searching for her place, she could see the
pluses and minuses of Caleb’s logic. The major plus being the baby’s father.
There was nothing more solid than Caleb. No more cohesive a group than the
Johnsons. However, a baby was going to change everything. Raise the stakes in
whatever game the vampires and weres were playing. Raise them beyond petty back
and forth or hostilities. Allie lifted her head from Caleb’s chest, ignored the
stares of the men around her, and looked up at Caleb. “You are not going to be
enough.”
“You’ve
got my family, too.”
She
shook her head. “Who have just declared they’re as big a threat as anything
else.”
“That’s
not true,” said Jared.
“What’s
changed?” she asked.
“The
possibility you might be pregnant.”
“According
to Derek, that will just make things uglier.”
“Where
we come from, family sticks together.”
“You’re
talking pre-vampire days.”
Jared
folded his hands across his chest. “Vampire or not, kin is kin.”
And
that apparently was that as far as the Johnson brothers were concerned. She was
beginning to appreciate their black-and-white view on some things. Her attempt
to slide free of Caleb’s embrace got her nowhere. She glanced pointedly at his
arm around her waist. “Do you mind?”
He
shook his head. “Your hunger is returning.”
Like
she didn’t know that. “That’s why I came back down here, to let you know.”
“And
instead you ended up hearing what you shouldn’t have.”
“I’d
say I came back just in time to hear what I needed to.” She pinched his arm,
letting him know with her eyes that she could pinch harder if he didn’t see
reason. “Let me go.”
“I’m
feeling a bit protective right now, so you probably want to be humoring me.”
“This
millennium protective, or eighteen sixties protective?”
His
hand dropped to her stomach, cupping the flat surface. As light as his touch
was, it didn’t diminish the depth of the emotion behind it.
“Definitely
eighteen sixties.”
“Well,
hell.” She let go of his arm. A pinch wasn’t going to get her around that. A
glance around showed all the brothers looking at her with the same
protect-with-their-lives intensity. “You realize I’m the same woman you were
lusting after fifteen minutes ago, right? Nothing’s changed.”
The
only satisfaction she got was an infinitesimal flick of their gazes from hers.
A reflection of shame for the emotions they hadn’t been able to avoid feeling.
From everyone except Derek. He was still arrogant and still amused.