Caleb (19 page)

His
lips drew back from his teeth as he pulled back. “Son of a bitch.” He lunged
forward, filling her to the max, but not enough. Not completely. The unbearable
pressure that bordered on pain grew. “All of me.”

And
she did. Opening more and more with each thrust, her desire ricocheting off his
to that spot inside that wanted more. Needed more. Her nails raked the back of
his hands as she shoved her hips into his, her need no less savage, no less
consuming than his. Her cries of “yes” wrapped around his grunts of “mine,”
creating a pulsing, primitive rhythm that accelerated toward an ending she
couldn’t avoid but didn’t know if she’d survive. “Caleb!”

“Right
here.”

She
shook her head, the energy too consuming to bear. “I can’t—”

His
hand anchored in her hair, yanking her gaze up to his narrowed one. Nothing
about his face or voice was soft. He was pure driven primitive male, staking
his claim. “You will.”

She
almost didn’t recognize his face as his body pounded into hers, his features
distorted by vampire lust and determination, but the fire in his eyes, that she
recognized. She clung to it as his body pounded into hers, demanding the
response she feared. His energy worked deeper, forcing another opening. “Mine.”

His
grip on her hair tightened, drew her head back, the little stings joining in
the conflagration consuming her. The tendons in her legs protested as her spine
arched, lifting her breasts in an equally primitive offering. His head lowered.
His “Always mine” was a feral prelude to the white-hot anticipation of his bite.
Oh God, his bite. She shivered and held her breath, needing it.

He
made her wait. One heartbeat, two, and then he was there, his teeth sinking
into her flesh as his cock plunged deep, swelling and jerking within her as he
gave her what she wanted, the dual possession more than she could take—burning,
pleasuring, sending her senses careening off beyond her control as the whole
world exploded in ecstasy.

“
TELL
me about the dream.”

Allie
took her time putting the plate of bear claws in front of Caleb. This batch
looked better than the last. Edible at least. “Which one?”

He
leaned back in the chair, the powerful muscles in his arms and chest coming
into stark relief beneath the black of his shirt. He caught her hand before she
could get away. His green eyes focused knowingly on her as he pulled her front
and center. “The one you’ve been dodging talking about for the last four days.”

She
tugged her hand free. “It’s just a dream. What do you want me to say?”

He
reached for one of the pastries. The laziness of the motion did nothing to
mitigate the impact of those eyes. A bug under a microscope got more leeway
than he was showing her. “I want you to describe it.”

She
shrugged. “I can’t. It’s a bunch of random flashes of images and stuff.”

“Then
maybe we can talk about that.”

He
took a healthy bite of the bear claw. She watched as he chewed and swallowed.
He didn’t make a face, but he did grab his coffee.

“Too
dry?”

With
a shake of his head, he took another bite. “They’re getting fair passable.”

“Fair
passable? What does that mean?”

His
eyes crinkled at the corners. “Means I’m not planning on cocking up my toes on
the next bite.”

“Great.”
She’d really thought she had it this time. Maybe if she let the wood burn
longer before putting the bear claws in . . . She sighed. “I’ll keep trying.”

He
caught her hand again. His fingers, with their square tips and even nails, were
as completely masculine as the rest of him, and just as strong.

His
gaze flicked up to her face and his eyes narrowed. The feeling of being a bug
under the microscope increased. “Feeling a bit contrary today?”

“Why
limit it to today?”

Boredom
and frustration had her just about jumping out of her skin.

“Want
to talk about that?”

Still
leaning back in the chair, long legs stretched out before him, one booted foot
crossed over the other, Caleb was the total picture of nonchalance. If, and it
was a big if, she discounted the intensity of his gaze and the tightness of his
jaw muscles.

“Not
particularly.” She didn’t know him well enough for that, which was weird, but
true. Despite all that had happened, how much she depended on him, she didn’t
know him well enough to communicate how much that dependence made her crazy.
Like she was trapped in a prison with no walls, no rules, and worst of all, no
purpose.

“Why
not?” He brought her palm to his mouth, pressing his lips to the center before
flicking his tongue over the sensitive skin in erotic little passes that popped
like sparks through her system. This past week, desire had been enough to
distract her from boredom, but today, edginess was winning out over potential
pleasure. She tugged her hand. He didn’t let go. She glared at him. “I don’t
want to make love either.”

“What?”
The right corner of his sexy mouth dented with the amusement she could hear in
his drawl. “You’ve lost interest in me already?”

She
rolled her eyes. Like any woman would get tired of all that single-minded
intensity, all that masculinity, all that testosterone taking up residence in
her bed. “Hardly.”

“But?”

“I’m
sick of you using sex to distract me like I’m some mindless bimbette.”

His
eyebrow rose and a smile started in his eyes, deepening slowly, as his gaze
dipped to her hips where it lingered before rising to her breasts. His tongue
eased over his lips, wetting them once, twice as his attention centered on the
two peaks stretching the soft cotton of her shirt. “You are?”

She
watched his tongue pass over his lips, felt the imagined touch against her
breast, took a deep breath, and forgot to let it out. Beneath her shirt, her
breasts swelled enticingly, offering themselves up like twin sacrifices to the
pleasure of his kiss. Allie released the breath she’d been holding on a curse
and took a step back. The man was positively lethal! “Yes. Truth is, I’ve only
got one nerve left and it’s fraying fast.”

A
frown replaced his smile. She wasn’t surprised when his fingers tucked between
hers, separating them, breaking the tension in her grip, breaking the tension
in her. He was incredibly tuned to her, which was a change from her usual
lovers, who always seemed to bumble along, only focusing when the urge hit
them. His head tilted slightly, and his gaze zeroed in on hers, searching, she
knew, for clues to what she was thinking. “I don’t suppose there’s any way to catch
it and snub it down before it frays further?”

“Not
unless you find me something to do.”

He
squeezed her hand. “Cooking and cleaning doesn’t do it for you?”

He
had to be kidding. “Did you sleep through the whole women’s lib movement?”

He
snorted, and the humor in him reached out and called to the laughter in her
before a word passed his lips. “Not hardly. That bra burning thing was a real
attention getter.”

Allie
rolled her eyes. “I’ll bet.”

As if
he was that shallow. She knew him well enough to know that, which was an oasis
of relief in the middle of havoc. Tears stung her eyes. Oh God, now she was
going to cry?

Caleb
sighed. This time she felt his concern. She needed to work on developing her
barriers.

“I
must be losing my touch. Used to be you’d lecture me until my ear fell off for
trotting out a comment like that.”

“Maybe
I’m just losing my mind.” These emotional extremes were going to drive her
crazy. She didn’t know if it was due to the change, boredom, or something else,
but lately she wanted to scream and rage and at the same time, burst into
tears. The last was not acceptable. The first two debatable.

His
thumb stroked over the back of her hand. “Did you ever think you’ve just had to
do a lot of adjusting and maybe you need more time than you’re giving
yourself?”

“No.”
She sniffed, forced a smile, took a slow deep breath, and pushed her bangs off
her face. “I do, however, think being useless is definitely taking its toll.”

Caleb
went quiet, so quiet the very air around him stilled as he asked in a voice
she’d never heard him use before, “Who told you you were useless?”

He
was angry. The emotion hit her like a fist. Survival instinct sent her a step
back before she realized what she’d done. She shook off the instinctive fear
and stepped right back into the spot she’d just vacated. She cocked her head to
the side. “That’s a neat trick, projecting your anger. Does it work on everyone
you try to intimidate?”

“More
often than not.” Not a bit of inflection colored his drawl as he asked again,
“Now, who told you you were useless?”

“No
one.” She yanked a chair from the table, put it kitty-corner to his, and
dropped into it. The table protested as she bumped the leg with her knee. She
pulled it back into place. “I figured it out all by myself.”

“Because
you can’t change?”

She
dug her nail into a nick on the scarred wooden top. “Because I can’t do
anything. Heck, I can’t even hack it as a vampire’s bit of pampered feminine
fluff.”

His
fingers caught her chin, balancing it on the edge of his knuckle, tilting her
gaze up. “You’re doing fine.”

He
just didn’t get it. It didn’t matter what he thought. She knocked his hand
aside. “How can you say that? I’m no longer human, yet I can’t do the simplest
vampire things. I have to sleep all the time, and if I’m not sleeping, I have
to feed.” She threw up her hands. “Nearly twice a day now, and because I can’t
feed from anyone else, you have to feed three times a day, risking exposing
yourself and your brothers.”

Caleb
caught her hands in his, bringing them to the table between them. “None of that
matters.”

The
rage built in direct contrast to the restraint. The tighter he held her, the
more she wanted to fight. “Of course it does. You’ve avoided detection for two
hundred fifty years. Everyone around here thinks you’re the offspring of
yourselves.” She wrenched away, the stab of pain in her shoulder welcome as she
hit the resistance of his hold. “They think you’re normal, for God’s sake, and
I’m endangering everything by being such a complete parasite.”

He
manacled her wrists in one of his, his grip like iron. “Look at me. You’re not
a parasite!”

The
fingers that subsequently grabbed her chin tightened to near pain. There was no
looking away. No avoiding. Everything she felt was laid out between them,
everything he felt just as visible. Her fear. His conviction. The emotional
bond between them, appearing so solid, though it had formed so fast. Oh God, it
was all there. And so very permanent looking when she didn’t do permanent.

She
found a fragment of her voice. “You need someone else.”

This
close she could see the lighter green flecks and the sparks of gold lighting
within his eyes. She could also see his resolve.

“I’ve
got what I want.”

She
closed her eyes against the strength of his will, trying to close her mind as
well. Unable to, she felt his determination and his own fear. Only his worry
wasn’t fear of discovery. He was afraid she’d leave him. She wasn’t sure she
wouldn’t. “I can’t be what you want.”

He
didn’t look away. “You already are.”

“I’m
not the type of person anyone should depend on. Just ask my parents, my
brothers, my exes.” She waved a hand, encompassing the whole damn world of
people she’d disappointed. “Just ask anyone.”

“I
don’t need to ask anyone.”

She
shook her head at the enormity of the responsibility he was placing on her. “I
always screw up, always fail, no matter how good my intentions. And that’s in
the best of circumstances.”

His
grip didn’t slacken and neither did the resolve with which he mentally
surrounded her. “Allie, I know who you are, what you’re capable of, and there
isn’t a damn thing about you that has me worried.”

“Well,
you should be!” He had no idea how badly she could screw things up without even
trying.

Caleb’s
hand slid around to the back of her head. His expression blurred out of focus
as he dragged her forehead to his. This close there was no avoiding his mental
push.

“I’m
not your father, not your brothers, not any other damn man you’ve ever known. I
don’t want to pigeonhole you in a box that doesn’t fit. I like you just the way
you are.”

And
they called her strange. She tried again. “This is a mistake.”

“No,
it’s not.” There was no shake in his voice, as there had been in hers. “I’ve
been in your mind. You’ve been in mine. You know as well as I do the strength
of what we have.”

His
conviction smoothed over her anger, glided into her hope.

“Oh,
God.” Little more than an exhalation, the tiny prayer hung between them. He was
asking too much of her.