Cage's Misconduct (NHL Scorpions #3) (17 page)

As the floodgates opened, I looked up pictures of newborns that I would never be able to carry. Pictures of new mothers directly after birth, holding their little ones with such reverence. Life could be incredibly unfair. I’d known I wanted a bunch of kids from the time I was in grade school. Why? Why did this happen to me? It didn’t make any sense. I wasn’t a believer, per se, but if there was a God out there, I wanted to believe he had something in mind for me. I truly wanted to believe there was a reason for this madness. A reason I only felt like half a woman now.

Realistically, I knew I was still as much of a woman as I always was. There were endless amounts of women who couldn’t have children for a variety of reasons, but having my reproductive organs taken out—well, quite honestly, it fucking sucked. I would get over it, what choice did I have? But today—today I would allow myself to grieve for what I could never have.

When Cage got back, he took one look at my puffy eyes, red nose, and slumped shoulders and plopped down onto the coffee table, putting his hands over his face as he rested his elbows on his knees. After he took a deep breath, he reached for my hands and held them loosely. “What can I do? Please, tell me how I can help.”

“I just need time. I’m okay, or I will be. I would like to sit outside, though. Do you mind?”

“Of course not. Let me take the other chair out there. It’ll be more comfortable for you.”

He was talking about the other recliner. It was huge. “I don’t need you to take that big thing out there. I can just sit in a—” He was already dragging the recliner through the French door. It was too big to fit easily, so he had to tilt it and manhandle it through the opening. His commitment to getting that chair out there had me smiling. I don’t think Cage knew the meaning of ‘can’t’.

Breathing heavily, his face a bit green from putting such strain on those cracked ribs of his, he was back in mere minutes and helped me get settled outside, keeping the light blanket wrapped around the
lovely
housedress I was wearing. Thank God for Lacey. She knew what I’d need. The housedresses were less than flattering to say the least, but they did the job of keeping everything away from my incision. Cage was sweet enough to bring me jeans and yoga pants from my place, but it would be at least another week or so before I attempted to wear the yoga pants. I couldn’t even entertain the thought of putting a pair of jeans on.

“Can I get you anything else before I start dinner?”

I really wanted a soda; however, he’d been doing so much for me, I hated to ask. I abhorred feeling so dependent on someone, but God knew there was no way in hell he’d let me attempt to get it myself. “No thanks.”

Cage walked back into the house, and I soon heard the opening lines to
Brighter Than The Sun
by Colbie Caillat coming from inside. Since I was pretty sure it wasn’t his type of music, I could only surmise that he’d chosen it for me, and it made me smile. He did that a lot. Made me smile, I mean. He put me first all the time, and there went another piece of my heart.

My eyes were closed as I hummed along to the song when the door opened and a glass of soda was placed on the table by my side. “I thought you might like this.” See? He was thinking about my comfort again. He was gone before I could thank him.

***

My burger was incredible. I don’t know if it was because Cage actually was a good cook or because I’d been existing on hospital food, but either way my taste buds did a happy dance. And honestly, I’d take any happy that came my way.

I tried not to think too much about the accident and all it took from me. In the scheme of things, I knew it could have been so much worse, but we never thought of that, did we? I mean we did, but then we always came back to what it
did
cost us, not what it could have. I was very lucky. I knew that, truly, but I couldn’t seem to control those moments of sorrow for my shortcomings yet.

Cage had been cleaning up dinner and came back out to collect my plate while I was having one of my less thankful moments, which clearly showed on my face. “You didn’t like the burger, did you? I’ll make you something else.”

He was so good at making me laugh, even when he didn’t mean to. I had to turn my frown upside down, because there wasn’t a scrap of food left on my plate. Not even a smudge of ketchup. I won’t tell you that I actually licked my plate when he had gone inside. That would just be gross, right? So…

“I couldn’t eat another bite. It was great Cage, really. Thank you so much for taking care of me. You’re such a great friend.” I don’t think he liked my usage of the word ‘friend’, but I was saved from saying anything further by the ringing of the house phone inside.

“That’s got to be my mother. She hates all things cell phone. I’ll be right back.”

I couldn’t help but hear his conversation, not that it was all that much of a conversation. He was standing just inside the kitchen and had turned the radio way down.

“Yes, Ma.”

A bit of silence.

“No, Ma. I’m sorry.”

More silence.

“Yes ma’am. I understand. I will. Of course.”

He slid open the door and handed me the phone. “My mom wants to talk to you.”

I reached out for the phone, but he stopped me. “Do you want to go back inside first? It’s getting chilly.”

I didn’t think it was chilly at all, but then I was used to real cold, which they never had in San Diego to my knowledge. “No, I’m fine.” He placed the phone in my hand, and then to my surprise, he went back inside. I was sure he’d be curious to see what his mother wanted to speak to me about. I knew I was.

“Hello, Mrs. Booker.”

“Hi there, Karen. How are you doing, dear?”

“I’m still pretty sore, but your son is taking great care of me.” I hated answering the ‘how are you doing’ question. I knew people meant well, but the honest answer was “Horrible. I feel like crap.” But really, who said that to someone who was trying to be nice by asking?

“I’m glad to hear that. I’m sure you’re a little more than just pretty sore though, aren’t you?”

“Well, I’m not ready to go dancing, that’s for sure.”

“And how is Cage—really? He told me he has a couple of bruises and that he’s fine. I was going to send the kids out in a couple of weeks as usual, but he says they can’t come this summer. So how bad off is he?”

Oh no! I knew he was telling her to not send the kids because he thought I’d still be here, needing him to take care of me.

“Of course they can! Mrs. Booker, Cage is sore with some cracked ribs and he’s still recovering from a nasty concussion, but having the kids out here will be good for him. I’m sure of it. Please send them and don’t even talk about it with him anymore. Just tell me when they’re arriving and I’ll make sure everything is ready. My brother and his wife can help with that.”

“Oh, I don’t know if I could do that. Just send them without telling him. It doesn’t seem right.”

She was wavering. I could hear it in her voice, and if I knew Cage at all, having those boys out here was exactly what he needed. He didn’t talk about it, but I knew it was killing him to watch his teammates play in the finals without him. It would take some of his intense focus off of me, too. Not that I wasn’t appreciative of his care, I was, but he was getting too single-minded about taking care of me.

“There are still a few weeks left before they’re out of school, aren’t there?”

“Yes. We always plan for them to come after the Stanley Cup is over, just in case. They usually come out at the end of June.”

I had a hard time thinking about Cage’s run being over. From what I’d picked up from hearing him talking on the phone earlier, the team wasn’t looking good. They were only down one game, but from what I gathered, the backup goalie wasn’t handling the pressure too well. It wasn’t a good sign.

“That’ll be plenty of time. Keep that schedule. I’ll talk to Cage, okay? I’ll tell him the plans when he can see I’m totally capable of taking care of myself. He’ll be fine, then. He’ll regret it if the boys don’t come out.”

“Thank you, dear. If anything changes, you let me know. And please take care. You may not want to hear this, especially from Dalton’s mother, but you’re really special to him. He hates that you were hurt so badly, and I’m sorry for your injuries. If you ever need another ear to listen, I’m only a phone call away, whether you’re with Dalton or not.”

Her words were touching, and I knew they were sincere. It was no wonder why Cage was as sweet as he was with me. It was obvious that his mother’s love and compassion had touched him deep.

“Thank you, Mrs. Booker. I’ll make sure Cage gives me your number to put in my phone. I look forward to meeting Jaden and Ethan in June.”

I called Cage back out to give him the phone back. “Checking up on me, was she?”

“She’s just worried you won’t tell her how you really are. I’m sure her worries aren’t unfounded. How are you, anyway?”

He took a seat across from me and gingerly touched his ribs. “I’m really fucking sore. I’ve never been this sore before. Cracked ribs are a bitch, but what good does it do to tell my mom that? She’ll just worry, and it’s not like she can fix them, you know?” He waved a hand in the air and shook his head. “Forget about me. How are you feeling today, any better? At all?”

“No, not really. It was nice having a real meal, though. Thank you for that.” I was getting sleepy, but sitting there talking to Cage was soothing. It was kind of ironic. With most people, Cage tended to be a big fiery mass of unpredictability. It was almost as if the people around him were always on edge, waiting to see which way the wind was blowing with him. And to a point, I got it. If he got angry, watch out, and it
was
as if he was always ready to spring into action at any moment, but not with me. With me, he was just Cage. He was careful and gentle. He even spoke softer. He was starting to give me the warm fuzzies, you know? And I loved his voice. He had such a deep, guttural voice. It was sexy as hell.

“You’re welcome. I wish I could do more.” He shook his sneakers off and ran his foot over mine. “I wish you were here under different circumstances. It’s hard for me to see you in pain.” His foot kept running over mine.

The mood was too somber for my taste. “Are you playing footsie with me, Mr. Booker? Cause I have to tell you, you’re doing it wrong.”

“What? No way. There’s no wrong way to play footsie.” He continued to run his foot back and forth over the top of mine in the same manner he had been. “See? This is footsie.”

“No. You’re supposed to go in circles around the foot and then, if you’re really interested in the girl, you run your foot up her calf.”

Cage’s foot made a slow but steady path up my calf and back down again. “I’m definitely really interested in the girl.”

His words were sweet, but I was so tired that instead of a smile, a huge yawn came out. “I’m sorry, Cage. I’m exhausted. Do you mind if I go in and try to get some sleep?”

He jumped up quickly enough to wince as he jarred his own injuries. “Of course not. Come on, I’ll help you in.”

“I can get there. If you could just get the door for me?” By the time I got back into the chair I’d been sleeping in, I could barely keep my eyes open. I slept for a good three hours before I woke up again. Cage, who was sleeping on the couch next to me, heard me shift in the chair.

“Hey there. What do you need?”

“Nothing. I’m just going to run to the bathroom and get another pain pill.” I hated taking those things. They made me woozy and lethargic, but I wasn’t ready to go it alone quite yet. Maybe in another day or so I might be.

“Okay, let’s go.”

“Cage, we’ve been through this. I can make it up those few stairs by myself.” I wasn’t sure why I bothered talking. He always agreed with me and then did what he wanted anyway. For the sake of my own sanity, I gave in and let him follow me up the stairs to the bathroom door. “That’s far enough. If you want to help me, please get me a glass of water and a pain pill. I’ll be right back down.”

“Sure.” That translated into I’ll wait right here to make sure you don’t fall down the stairs and then get your water and pill.

When I was settled back in my chair, I waited patiently for the pain pill to kick in and Cage to fall back to sleep. It didn’t take long at all for both our eyes to grow heavy once more. The next time I woke up, I woke to a glorious sunrise which was accompanied by cool breezes coming off the ocean through the window Cage must have cracked open.

He was already up and had coffee made when I struggled to a more upright sitting position. I noticed that it didn’t hurt quite as much as the day before. It was minute, but it was progress. I slowly made it up to a slightly stooped over stand and hobbled into the kitchen.

“Good morning.”

“Karen! What are you doing up?” Before I knew it, Cage had a chair pulled out and was making his way toward me.

My raised hand stopped him just short of his goal. “No. Please. I’m tired of sitting. I just wanted to tell you that I’m going to go get a shower.” My incision still hurt, of course, but I was getting stronger and the doctor said I could shower when I felt up to it. Let me tell you, I needed a shower badly. Sponge bathing only went so far, and my hair could easily be likened to a rat’s home. “And no, you can’t help me.” I smiled at the disappointment on his face.

“You sure? I’ll scrub your back for you. Or your front. Your choice.” His playful wink was so darn cute. If I wasn’t half torn up with stitches and staples holding me together, I think I would have taken him up on his offer.

“I think I’ll risk going it alone.”

“Okay, but please call me if you need anything. Don’t hurt yourself just because you’re being stubborn.”

I nodded my head in agreement, knowing that I was absolutely not going to call Cage into the bathroom with me—for any reason. My progress was slow, but I made my way upstairs. For the first time, Cage didn’t follow me.

The lock on the door didn’t work, which left me the tiniest bit nervous, but I needed that shower in the worst way, so I took my chances. Cage’s shower was about the only thing in his house that was big. There was no bathtub, but the shower had dual shower heads and a rain shower to boot. It was wonderful.