Caged (Talented Saga) (21 page)

“Erik!
We really need to go,” Henri called. “I’m sorry, Tal,” he added.

“I’ll call you when I get back,” he promised.
“We’ll talk about it then.”

Nodding, I reluctantly disentangled myself from his arms.
But we both knew that we wouldn’t actually be able to talk about it over the communicators; the Agency monitored them too closely.

“I’m so sorry,” I croaked again.
Erik reached for my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, then quickly brushed his mouth against mine. When he tried to pull away, I instinctively grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him deeper. Erik’s lips quirked into a grin as his hands closed around my waist. Even though Erik had kissed me numerous times before, the thrill that I felt now was just as intense as it had been the first time.

The feel of his mouth against mine was familiar and intoxicating, causing my head to spin.
I lost awareness of the surrounding hangar. He crushed my hips against his, and I tangled my fingers in his thick hair.

When Erik broke the connection, I physically ached at the absence of his touch.
He beamed, warmth and passion radiating from his every pore. His fingertips brushed the hollow of my throat in an oddly intimate gesture that nearly sent me melting to the concrete. Then with a tremendous amount of effort, Erik turned and jogged to the open plane door.

I stood rooted in my place until the electric engines of the craft came to life.
I turned and walked slowly from the hangar. The night air was cool and I hugged myself, fighting off the cold air and the confusion at the same time. Why wouldn’t Donavon have told me? Why was it such a big deal? Why hadn’t Mac told me? Why had Mac reacted like that? I felt like I’d somehow been lied to, betrayed. Was an omission really a lie?

Opening my mind as wide as I could, I searched for Donavon.
I focused all of my energy on pinpointing his location; he was at his parents’ house. I contemplated going up there, but then decided it against it. Confronting Donavon was one thing, but confronting Mac was another. Instead, I walked to the Crypto Bank to find Penny; maybe she could make sense out of all of this.

Chapter Twenty

When I arrived, Penny and Gemma were in their usual positions.
Penny’s smile froze when she saw me.

“Talia!
What’s wrong?” she cried.

“Can you access medical records?” I asked quietly.

“Whose medical records?” she asked, looking confused.

“Donavon’s,” I answered firmly. There must be something wrong with Donavon, something wrong with his blood, something that he’d passed on to me.
It was the only reason that Mac would’ve been so mad.

“No,” Penny said slowly.
“I can’t. I’m sorry, Tal.” Penny glanced to where Gemma sat, headphones covering her ears, and looked relieved that she couldn’t hear my demands.

“Well, then, how about mine?” I pressed.

“Talia, I can’t access anyone’s medical records. They’re not kept in the same e-files as the rest of your information. Those records are kept in the Medical facility. My clearance isn’t that high. What’s this about?”

“Did you know that the Medics who rescued me gave me Donavon’s unfiltered blood?” I asked bluntly.

“No. Who told you that?” she demanded.

“Erik.
He said that when he arrived in Kansas, Mac and Donavon were fighting about it. Mac said that he shouldn’t have done it, that it was dangerous. Did I catch something from Donavon? Is that what’s really wrong with me?” I pleaded.

“Oh, Tal,” she whispered.
“I don’t know.”

“There isn’t anything that you can tell from our records?”
She’d already told me that she couldn’t, but I somehow hoped that if I asked again, her answer would be different.

“I’m sorry, Talia.
I really am, but there’s nothing in Donavon’s regular file that would tell me that about his medical history.”

“I think I need to go lie down,” I said numbly, turning to leave.

“Tal?” she called after me.

“Yeah?”

“You should probably keep your distance from Donavon until we figure this out.”

I nodded in agreement.

I walked back to my room in a state of shock. I undressed and crawled into bed in nothing but a tank top and my underwear, clenching Erik’s letter, smeared with my dried blood, in my hand. The light on my communicator was blinking furiously, but I ignored it. Carefully, I unfolded the well-worn pages, and reread the words that I knew by heart.

Natalia,

A couple nights ago you asked about the circumstances leading to me going to the McDonough School when I was fourteen. I know that you were hurt I wouldn’t share my story with you, but I’ve never shared it with anybody. I’ve never trusted someone enough with my secret; I’ve never wanted to let anybody get that close to me.

I’m so sorry about what happened last night.
I’m sorry that I let things go so far with you when I’ve known all along that you’re still upset over Donavon. But you’re right - I do know how you feel about me. I’ve known for a long time how you feel, maybe even before you knew it yourself. I feel the same way. You’ve captivated me since the first time we met, during your placement exams. I thought that it was just a crush, an odd fascination with a girl who managed to surprise me. But the more time I spent with you, the more I began to realize that what I’m feeling is so much more than a crush. I’d known about Donavon and the girl – her name is Kandice – for a while. I really wanted to tell you, but Henri persuaded me not to. He thought my feelings for you were clouding my judgment, and he was afraid that if I was the one to tell you, you might not have believed me. He sensed that you were starting to realize I am falling for you. I stand by my decision. I wish that you hadn’t found out the way you did, but I’m glad that you found out on your own. Honestly, I’m not sure you would have believed it otherwise.

I can’t put into words how much it pained me to see you hurting so much, but slowly you bounced back just like I knew you would.
You’re a fighter. When you finally started to understand that what you’re feeling for me is real, I was elated. I tried to hold back, tried to give you more time to grieve, but I was selfish. I want you, so I started something even though I know that you aren’t really ready. I was jealous again when I realized that you still think about him when we’re together. I want all of you for myself, and when you thought about him last night, my temper got the best of me. I said things that I can’t take back, but hope you forgive me. If time is what you need, that’s what I’ll give you.

You wanted to give me something that you’ve never shared with anyone, and I want you to know that I don’t take that lightly.
I also want to share something with you that I’ve never shared with anyone. Just know that once you’ve read what I have to say, you might not like it – or me. That’s a risk I’m willing to take; I honestly think that you, of all people, deserve to know. So here it goes:

My parents are firm supporters of the movement to repeal the Talent Testing Act.
Both my brothers and I were born at home instead of in a hospital because both of my parents are Talents. They were confident that at least one of us would be born Talented, and they didn’t want our births on record. I’m the oldest. When I was three, my parents noticed that I was able to replicate both of their abilities. It unnerved them because Mimics are so rare. They knew that the Agency would come for me if they ever found out. Both of my younger brothers also exhibited Talent at a young age, although neither is very strong. My middle brother is a mono-morph, and my youngest brother is a low-level Brain.

We moved around a lot, staying off of Toxic’s radar.
We lived mostly in rural areas and kept to ourselves. I grew up fearing the Agency and what they stood for, but as I got older, I began to think that maybe my parents were paranoid. I met a girl on one of my grocery runs when we were living in North Carolina. We became close and I got cocky. I told her all about my abilities, trying to impress her. She in turn told her parents. Days later, Agency Operatives raided our home. Ordinarily, the penalty for refusing to submit children for testing is jail time and a heavy fine. But my parents were proud and fought. My mother was killed in the raid. My father and brothers probably would’ve been, too, but I knew that Toxic hadn’t come for them; they’d come for me. The man in charge of the mission told me that I was in no position to bargain, but I could tell he was lying. I surrendered myself in exchange for the lives of my father and my brothers.

Mimics are so rare and I could tell how badly he wanted me, so I called his bluff.
I threatened to take my own life if he didn’t agree to the terms of my deal. In the end, he agreed. I offered to go willingly to the School and take my “rightful” place within the Agency. In return my brothers would be free to attend regular school and live normal lives, and my father wouldn’t be penalized. My father and brothers now live in Raleigh and are closely monitored by Agency personnel. Under the terms of my agreement, I’m not allowed to speak about what happened, visit my family, or step out of line. They’ll all be executed if I violate any of these conditions.

I’ve been closely watched since my first day at School.
Truthfully, I’m shocked that the Agency allowed me to become a Hunter. However, my willing sacrifice – and the constant vigilance of those in charge – has proven me to be a loyal Operative. I don’t agree with the Mandatory Testing laws and I don’t really care about the Coalition and their rebellion, but I do care about my family’s well-being. If that means I have to fall in line and play my part, I will – and I do.

I told you that I’d tell you all of this when you were ready to hear it.
I don’t really know if you are ready now, but I wanted to share something with you. I also want you to understand that the Agency isn’t all that you believe it to be. There are many within it that are corrupt, and the system in general is incredibly flawed.

You had a choice about whether to join this organization.
I know that you see it as a chance to right the wrongs in your past, but just remember that the rest of us weren’t given the same option. The Agency is responsible for the wrongs in my past.

I feel the deeply buried doubt that you keep bottled up inside of you.
I’m not saying that you should leave the Agency or anything like that. I just want you to keep your eyes open, and hang on to that doubt. It’s unlikely that Donavon is the only one who’s lied to you.

I gave this to Henri because I trust him for reasons he’ll have to explain to you some day.
I gave it to you now because I wanted you to have a chance to read it away from the ever-watchful electronic presence of Toxic’s prying eyes. I that know you’re too curious to not read this before you return, so we can talk about it when you get back if you want to. If you don’t, well, that’s fine too. I hope that you’ll understand how much trust it took for me to write this - and even if you believe nothing I say, I hope that you won’t share its contents with anybody.

E.

Crawling out of bed, I made my way to the bathroom. Holding Erik’s words under the sink faucet, I turned the knob. Water soaked the pages, and my blood stained the clear liquid red as it swirled down the drain. After several long moments, all that remained in my fingers was a soggy mess of pulp. I wrapped the remnants in toilet paper, and flushed the bits of incriminating evidence. As I walked back to my bed, I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror over my sink. My cheeks were sunken in, the hollows under my eyes so purple they seemed to be reflecting the color of my irises.

I’d thought about Erik’s letter frequently over the past several months, but actually reading his accusations in black and white once more drove home the words on those pages.
I didn’t know how much of what he wrote was true, but if nothing else, I was certain that Erik believed that every word he wrote was gospel. It pained me that Mac might allow such atrocities to go unchecked on his watch. I doubted that the Agency would really kill Erik’s family if he slipped up ...or did I?
You have no idea what your Agency does to innocent people.

Removed from the situation, I was confident that even if Donavon had read the letter – and I assumed that he had – he hadn’t shared it with his father.
If there was even an iota of truth to Erik’s words, he would already know if Donavon had indeed reported the note to Mac. At the very least, Erik would have been sanctioned for his bold statements. Donavon and Erik’s dislike for one another ran deep, and I would’ve thought that Donavon would jump at the chance to get Erik in trouble. The fact that he didn’t take the opportunity was telling; I was just unsure what exactly I was being told.

Snug under my covers once again, I closed my eyes and opened my mind.
I found Donavon back in his room. Then I heard his mental voice in my head.

“You’re back early.
Want me to come over?”

I didn’t answer him.
I had no idea what I wanted. The intense physical reaction to Erik’s kiss was an indication that my feelings for him were stronger than ever. His touch unlocked a part of me that only he could reach, and the way that I felt about Donavon would never compare.

Penny was right; I should stay away from Donavon.
I’d told Penny that I would. But I thought that if I asked Donavon directly about the blood transfusion, he wouldn’t lie to my face.

Sure, he’d omitted the fact that he was sleeping with
Kandice; but he’d never bold-faced lied to me, mostly because he couldn’t. The connection that we’d forged made it impossible for him to keep me out of his mind if I wanted in.

“Talia?”
Donavon’s mental voice interrupted my thoughts. I still refused to answer him.
“Talia, I’m coming over.”

Several minutes later I felt him approach, and I unlocked the door to my room.
He pushed the door open and walked into my darkened space. I could make out his silhouette as he made his way towards me, but all of his features were no more than shadows. He knelt down beside the bed.

“Talia?” he said tentatively.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you were there in Nevada?” I blurted out. After everything that I’d already been through tonight, tact was low on my list of priorities. He heaved a big sigh, and for a second I thought that he might not answer.

“I didn’t know what to say to you.
My father wouldn’t let anyone near you when you first got back. Then when you came down here, you wouldn’t speak to me. And when you finally did start coming around, I wasn’t really sure how to bring it up.” His voice was tight, but he sounded like he was telling the truth. I scanned his mind, and found the same ribbons of panic that I sensed earlier. I contemplated pushing through his barricade, but I lacked the strength.

“Why didn’t you tell me that they gave me your blood?” I demanded.

“I didn’t want you to think that you owed me something.” He placed his hand on my back. “I’m sorry, Tal. If I’d known that it would upset you so much, I’d have told you myself.”

“Why was your father so mad at you for doing it?”
I felt Donavon’s hand tense, and he gripped a handful of my tank top. The trickles of panic leaking through turned to gaping holes, and he desperately tried to patch the damage. Donavon was afraid of his father, terrified that if Mac found out that I knew about the blood transfusion he would be furious. I’d already surmised that Mac didn’t want me to know, but Donavon’s distress seemed extreme.