Caged (10 page)

“Why?” I asked quietly. I wanted to cry but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

He frowned dramatically. “I’m just showing concern…”

“Don’t!” I hissed. “Just don’t.”

His laugh followed me after I slammed his office door shut behind me, all the way into the bathrooms while I vomited, my heart sliding up my throat and flushing away with the remnants of my breakfast.

I
T WAS LATE AFTERNOON WHEN
I emerged back in Anderson’s room.

He was nowhere to be seen but the TV played softly in the background, the dreary day making the room dim, the only light coming from a quiz show Anderson had been watching. His reading book sat open on the desk and a beaker of lemonade fizzled quietly.

Turning around when I heard the bathroom door open, my heart leapt up my throat when Anderson stepped out wearing nothing but a white towel around his hips. His long hair was damp, falling in strands over his shoulders and for the first time his beard had gone, just a light dusting of stubble now covering his square chin. Rivulets of water trailed down his bare chest, my eyes following them down the trim line of hair until they disappeared into the wrap of towelling. His body was still thin, his hip bones prominent and his ribcage noticeable but now his stomach muscles were more formed.

“You’ve been working out.”

A small smile touched his lips, glad that I’d noticed, and he nodded. “Yeah. Night time in the gym is the best. It’s just me and the music.”

Seven Oaks was good for him. Its many facilities and different therapies had seen him come on in leaps and bounds in the last few weeks.

However, his scars still haunted me, many rows of silver lines revealing just how hard his life had been. And it would take more than the gym and reading books to mend those.

Unable to control myself, I walked towards him.

He sucked in a breath when I slowly brought my fingers up to the streaks that were evidence of the evil he had suffered. He watched me closely, his chest heaving with his heavy breaths as I drew the tip of my finger over each one.

“Every sentence you read,” I whispered, my gaze mesmerised by each scar as I stroked along every one. “Every word you speak. Every mile on the treadmill, and every horrific thing that happened to you that you voice heal each welt little by little.”

He didn’t say a word but his eyes screamed every thought in his head.

Taking my hand in his he brought it up to his left pectoral muscle and pressed it against his skin. My eyes reached his face and I gasped at the sheer look of need that stared back at me.

“And every one of your smiles, the sound of your soft laugh, the way your brilliant blue eyes watch me,” he whispered back, “heal this little by little.”

I could feel the thud of his heart under my palm when he slid my hand lower, the bang, bang, bang of desire that echoed in his eyes.

He locked me in that stare of his as he dropped his hand from mine. I kept it pressed against him, the quickening beat of his heart hypnotising me.

My breath caught when his fingers slid one button on my blouse through its hole. And then another. And another. Until his hand slid inside the soft cotton and moved the material aside, the cool air making my nipples pebble against the lace of my bra.

My head was screaming at me to stop him. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. And I didn’t want to.

“You’re so beautiful.” I hadn’t realised he’d dropped my gaze until his words brought my eyes back in to focus.

My lips parted and my eyes slid closed when he ran the tip of a finger across the top of my breast, his gentle touch making my stomach heavy with need.

“Anderson,” I warned. But it was no more of a warning than a plea. I knew it was wrong. I knew it was. Yet it felt so right, his touch making me feel more alive than anything ever had. My heart beat harder than it ever had and the desire that ran through every one of my veins scorched me with a fire I’d never experienced.

“Open your eyes, Kloe.”

I did as he bid, peeling open my heavy eyelids.

His eyes roamed over my face as his fingers cupped my full breast, his hand lifting and caressing softly. He studied my face as he brought his other hand to my other breast and pinched my nipple through the material of my bra.

My eyes were closing again; the pleasure he was bringing me with such a small touch making me press myself into him.

“Let me kiss you, Kloe. Please.” He was begging, with his voice, his eyes, his touch. Every part of him pleaded with me to give him what he so very much wanted.

“I…”

He didn’t wait for my permission. Instead he crushed his mouth to mine, halting my words – and my thoughts. A soft groan rumbled from him when I opened for him. I couldn’t have refused him any more than I could have refused myself.

His kiss was gentle, his lips soft as they moved over mine. One hand moved from my breast and disappeared into my hair, taking it and wrapping it around his fist as he pulled my head further back. Deepening the kiss, his tongue slid against mine, twisting and caressing hungrily like he was starved of every single sense except touch and taste.

My hands found his hair and I took a thick strand and tugged, giving him the pain I knew he needed. His moan turned to a growl and before I could take a much needed breath my back was flung onto his bed and his body completely pinned me under him.

His kiss grew frenzied, his touch firmer as he tried to devour every part of me. His erection pressed into my hip when the towel he wore fell open.

Shit. Fuck.

I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t make it stop. Morality screamed at me, my conscience almost weeping. He was my patient, under my care. Yet my body wanted him with an urgency that overpowered any rational thoughts begging for a hearing.

His cock was hard as I wrapped my fingers around the thick girth. He was cut and the shock of that made me rear back.

Anderson looked pained but his hips rocked, forcing himself in and out of my hand.

“I want…” He looked away from me as he shook his head. “I want… but I…”

“Anderson? What is it?”

Shame covered his face and he looked down at me. Softly tracing my cheekbone with his thumb, he closed his eyes when his cheeks flamed red. “I want to, with you. But I’ve never…”

My mouth dried as I stared up at him in shock.

“Hank, he would… he would fuck
me
. But I’ve never…. I’ve never…”

“Hey.” I shushed him, pushing at him so I was able to sit up. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

He grew angry with himself, his breathing becoming laboured as he struggled to contain whatever emotion was running through him.

Swinging my legs over the bed, I hurriedly fastened my blouse back up. Anderson watched me, yet I could see the turmoil swirling in the depths of his angry green eyes.

“Listen to me.” I touched his cheek, making him turn to look at me. “Not here, Anderson. I can’t.” I sighed, trying to figure out how to word what I needed to say. “I’m your therapist. I’m abusing your trust here. Abusing my position.”

“No!” he said quickly, his head shaking wildly. His expression softened and he gave me a small smile. “I think I would like you to abuse me.”

“That.” I pointed to him. “That right there is why we can’t do this. Why
I
can’t do this. You have to concentrate on getting better, focus on yourself. This… this just confuses everything for you.”

“I’m not confused!” he argued, the tone of his voice making me aware he was telling the truth. “I want to feel myself inside you, Kloe Grant. I want to make you tremble and scream.”

I couldn’t hold back the smile and I blew out a breath. “Well, you definitely made me tremble.”

He grinned at me, his eyes lighting up.

“But that doesn’t make this right. You need help first. We can’t…” I finished the sentence with a shake of my head.

His smile dropped, and like a door abruptly closing, his face shuttered and he moved away from me. “I… I would like you to go now.”

“Anderson…”

“Go!”

I flinched. I’d ruined everything. Yet again.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered as I picked up my bag. “I…”

Giving up when I knew he’d shut me out, I quietly closed the door behind me.

I left something inside his room that day. At the time I wasn’t aware of what. And I wouldn’t find it again for a long time.

“J
ESUS,
D
AVE!
H
URRY UP
, I
’M
freezing my ass off here.”

Dave had found what I could only presume was squirrel shit hiding in the undergrowth of a nearby park. It was late, frosty and bloody freezing and my dog decided he wanted to snort the evidently amazing delicacy that shot from the behinds of rodents with big bushy tails.

I’d had a shitty day – apart from a toe-curling kiss - and all I wanted was a long hot bath and a never-ending glass of wine.

“Dave!”

He finally snorted and trotted over to me, sitting down so I could attach his leash back on for our walk home.

Luckily it was only a short distance back to the house but even so, by the time we reached the end of the path I couldn’t feel my hands. I had no idea where the cold snap had suddenly come from. Yesterday had been a scorching day, and today had been miserable and rainy, hence why my feet were skidding on the wet pavement after the temperature had dropped.

I hadn’t heard from Ben since the party, and as much as I hated him for what he had done, I missed him. I missed the closeness that he brought whenever I’d had a rough day. We never actually talked about my job, but he could always see when I needed a distraction. Most of the time that distraction had involved sex but occasionally he was really considerate, taking me out and making me laugh, or even just scooping me up for a hug. Single life was lonely.

Dave’s bark snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked up.

My stomach twisted and my teeth sank into my lip when James smiled at me from my doorstep.

“Thought you were just ignoring me.”

Dave growled at him and I grinned sardonically. “I would have if I were in.”

He chuckled, the sound making my skin crawl. “Not a good idea, Kloe.” He watched me put the key in the lock. “Can I come in?”

“Do you have to?”

He shrugged. “Well, I have an offer you really can’t refuse.”

“Is it a gun?” I asked as I moved aside and reluctantly let him into the house.

Laughing, he sighed theatrically. “Now, now.”

He followed me through to the kitchen. I didn’t offer him a drink. Instead I turned to face him, my fingers digging into the worktop behind me. “Well?”

He tutted and shook his head. “Seems someone’s been a naughty girl.”

“Excuse me?” God, I hated him. Enough so that my eyes moved to the knife block to the right of me.

“Before all that,” he chirped with a sudden mood swing. “I have a proposition for you.”

“You’ve already said that.”

He nodded, another humourless laugh leaving him. I could almost feel the knife in the palm of my hand. “There’s an opening for a PTSD therapist available at our London branch.”

Stiffening, I narrowed my eyes on him. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Well, I just thought it might be suitable
. For you
.”

“Why? Why would I want to leave Derbyshire for London? I’m quite happy where I am.”

He nodded slowly then pulled out his iPad. “I thought you might say that.”

I watched him warily when he tapped away and then placed the tablet on the counter next to me.

My veins constricted, all the blood that filled them having nowhere to go but to my head. I felt faint. I felt sick. My legs wobbled. And James laughed. “Naughty girl.”

He’d put the recording on loop, the image of Anderson and me on his bed replaying over and over.

“Where did you get this?”

“Friends aren’t always who they appear to be, Kloe.” He tutted, swiping the iPad back. “Now. About that offer.”

Tears stung my eyes. My mind wouldn’t work and I couldn’t seem to think. My gut writhed and I had to swallow repeatedly to stop myself from vomiting.

“The thing is.” James sneered. “It’s a conflict of interest. If you stay, then… well Anderson has to go.”