Cafe Babanussa (17 page)

Ruby had forgotten about Frau Jungblut. She had been dead quiet while Werner and Niko were there. Ruby rolled over to see what she was doing. Frau Jungblut's head was propped up on her pillow and she was staring at the ceiling again. Tears were rolling down her cheeks.

“Hey, are you okay?” Ruby asked.

“It's hard to see you two with your husbands or boyfriends or whatever they are. But you should go on and enjoy yourselves.”

“I'm sure your husband will be in to see you today,” Ruby sympathized. “Is he working?”

“Yes.”

“Well, then, maybe he'll be here at suppertime.”

“If he shows up I'm going to make sure he gets me out of here today.”

Ruby said nothing. Everyone was wondering when they would get out. Just thinking about it gave her a headache.

Irina and Niko came back into the room, arms wrapped around each other like a couple of teddy bears. After Irina sat back down on her bed, Niko leaned over and whispered something in her ear. Irina smiled and said, “Just make sure you come back tomorrow.”

Niko smiled. “Of course I will.”

There was something in the tone of his voice that made Ruby look at him. The muscles of his face were pulled into a tense smile, his body coiled like a spring waiting to be released. She remembered that he hadn't looked her in the eyes when he came in. He left the room a few minutes later.

Ruby smiled at Irina. “Everything okay?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Irina answered, all dreamy-eyed. “What did I tell you? He's gorgeous, isn't he? My Niko.”

“Yeah, he seems nice. Did you guys have a nice stroll?”

“Yup.” Then in a conspiratorial tone, she added, “If you
go right down the hall and into the stairwell, you can have a bit of privacy, if you know what I mean.”

“You're not serious,” said Ruby, almost choking on her laugh.

“Of course I am! Just remember what I told you before.”

“Yeah, right.”

Frau Jungblut's bed creaked. She got up and began pacing the floor, back and forth. Irina nodded to Ruby as if to ask “What's the matter with her?” Ruby shrugged.

“Goddamn men,” Frau Jungblut muttered. “You cook for them, you clean for them, you have their children.” She stopped pacing and stared at Ruby and then at Irina. “And then, just when you're thinking it's about time for you to have some fun, they go and throw you in the loony bin, so they can sneak around with some young thing.”

Irina stared at Elke coolly and said, “Some things are the same for everyone, it seems. But I wouldn't take any shit from a man.”

“You'd think I'd have a right to go shopping after all I've done for him. It's just that the Porsche got smashed up, too.”

“Who smashed it up?” Ruby asked. “You?”

“Well, yes. But we'd had it a long time.”

Irina mumbled, “You must have been daydreaming about all those new things you'd just bought, huh?”

“It's the first time I ever had an accident,” Elke snapped. “Besides, didn't I hear you cheering me on just a few hours ago?”

“You sure did. Like I said, I don't take shit from any man.”

“But how do you think I'm going to get out of here, except through him?”

“Just sweet-talk him till you get what you want. Then take off. Divorce him.”

Elke walked over to her bed and sat down. “I can't. I'm Catholic. We have children.”

The three women sat in silence for a few minutes. Elke stretched out across her bed and covered herself up with a blanket. Irina slouched down on her pillow and began chewing on her nails. Ruby rolled over and picked up her Langston Hughes book. She opened it up to the last lines she'd read. She lay there reading the poem, quietly mouthing the words to herself until the book slipped out of her hands and her head rested against the pillow.

A few hours later, the touch of a hand brushing through her hair jolted her out of a deep sleep. Werner and Jessie were sitting on the bed.

“What time is it?” she asked, smiling sleepily at her sister.

“Five thirty. Dinner's coming soon. What's on the menu?”

“Oh, I don't remember. But you're welcome to share with me if you're hungry.”

“No, we're okay. We're going out for a meal when we're finished here,” Werner answered.

Jessie's presence comforted Ruby and she let her guard down. She began crying. “Damn, don't say those things around me. I don't know if I'll ever get out of here.” She couldn't stop the rush of sobs. Jessie pulled her up close. Her long, full arms hugged her tight.

“Hey, you're already looking better than you did two days ago. You'll be okay, Sis. It's just going to take some time. Anyway, before we go for dinner you and I are going to go for a walk in the Schlosspark. It's beautiful outside. They'll let you go out for half an hour if you're with someone.”

Ruby continued sniffling, but smiled a little. Immediately she thought of how wonderful it would be to put clothes on again. What freedom!

Werner was fidgeting, wringing his hands while Jessie talked. “Calm down,” he said. “Stop crying, you're getting yourself all worked up. I told you I'd come to see you every day. They'll take good care of you here.”

Ruby ignored him and held on to Jessie's hand as she pulled away from her. “You're leaving tomorrow,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, I have to. I've been here for two weeks, Ruby. Now that you're here and settled—well, I've got to get back home. I have work to do. You are gonna be okay, aren't you?”

“Yeah, I guess. I'm sorry, Jessie. It's so weird being in here. It's enough to make you crazy!”

Jessie laughed and stroked her head. “You'll have some pretty good stories to tell when you get out.”

The rattle of carts punctuated her words. Ruby threw her arms up in the air and said, “Here we go again, the major event of the day. Meal time!”

Werner picked up Ruby's dinner tray. “Let's see what we have here,” he said. “And where are your roommates? They'll miss dinner.”

Ruby looked around and saw that neither was in the room. “They must have gone wandering down the hall while I was sleeping.”

Werner sat down on the bed and pulled up the table and placed the dinner tray on it. Jessie pulled up a chair. “Mmm, smells good,” she said and laughed.

“Yeah, well, you can take some with you if you think it's so good,” said Ruby.

She ate her food quickly. There was no point in taking time to savour anything; it was hospital food, mushy and tasteless. When she finished, she pushed the table away and got up from the bed. She went to the small dresser and pulled out some clothes: jeans, sweater, bra, socks. She went into the bathroom and got changed. She looked herself up and down and said, “How liberating! I almost feel myself again.” She stepped back into the room and said “Ta-da!” Jessie and Werner looked at her and beamed, sharing in her happiness.

Werner said, “Maybe I should go with you? Can you manage on your own?”

“We'll be fine,” said Jessie. “Don't worry about us. You'll be able to see us walking down the park path if you look out the window in the lobby.”

Ruby grabbed her sister's arm and said, “Come on, let's go, no time to waste here.”

The two sisters went out onto the floor and strolled down to the nurses' desk by the elevator. They put an armband on Ruby and told her that she had half an hour. She was looking forward to this walk with her sister, time with someone she
loved. Once outside she held her head up to face the sun and yelled, “Shine on me. I worship you.”

Jessie held her arm for a while as they headed down the path through the top end of the park. They could see the Charlottenburg Palace glistening in the distance. The beautiful gardens were modelled after those at Versailles, full of formal beds and symmetrical paths. The air was crisp and the sweet light of the late afternoon had set in. Ruby walked stiffly, her shoulders hunched over, her feet dragging one after the other.

“The medication has its side effects, doesn't it?” said Jessie, watching her sister. She took Ruby's hands in hers and said, “What about the tremor? How's that going?” Ruby's hands were trembling considerably.

“Same as usual. It got a little better when they added the second medication, but they still shake a lot. Just like Mom's.”

“Yeah, it really does run in the family, doesn't it? I'm sorry, Ruby, I'm so sorry that this had to happen to you. Why you and not me? Why?”

“Lord knows. You know, I never saw this coming. Even with Mom being bipolar, it just never occurred to me. I just went blithely along, leading my life, never stopping to worry that I might get sick. And then wham! Now look at me.”

“I used to wonder if I might turn out like Mom. But I didn't dwell on it much. Maybe it was just too scary a thought. But Ruby, just know you're gonna get better. The whole family's behind you. Mom and Dad will be here soon. And you've got Werner. I know you guys have your issues, and he
may not be all that you want in a husband, but he's definitely looking out for you.”

Half an hour had slipped by quickly, so Ruby and Jessie walked back towards the hospital at the other end of the park. When they got up to the room, Werner was sitting there with cups of coffee for everyone sitting on the night table. There were also two pieces of Sachertorte for them. “I had mine already,” he said, gesturing at the cakes. “Enjoy.”

Jessie smiled and said, “I'll save mine for after dinner. Listen, Ruby, I don't want to drag this out. You know how I hate goodbyes. I just want to tell you how important it is for all of us that you get better. Maybe when this is all over you can come home for a while.”

Ruby sighed. “Yeah, I don't know how I would have made it this far without you being here.”

Werner stood up and blew her a kiss. It was so typical of him that he would refuse to kiss her in front of her sister. Jessie pulled a small book out of her bag. “Here, I brought this for you as a present. Pushkin. I think you'll like it.”

Ruby took the book and flipped through it. Jessie continued: “You told me about Alexandre Dumas and Napoleon's Josephine. Now I've got one on you.” A slight grin crept onto her face. “He's mixed race, Sis. His grandfather was Black.”

Werner's body almost bounced off the bed with the force of his “No way!” Ruby smiled at the thought of Werner not knowing something for once.

Jessie stooped over and planted an awkward kiss on her cheek. “Ruby, I love you. We all do. Take care of yourself.”
She straightened up and walked quickly towards the door with Werner. She stopped to wave goodbye. Ruby thought she could see her eyes clouding over. Then she turned and disappeared down the hall.

Ruby could feel her heart knocking in her chest. She sat still for a moment, gulping in breaths of air. “Jessie,” she called out. But her voice cracked. Her sister had gone.

She couldn't stand being alone with her thoughts. She got out of bed.
Maybe they're still waiting for the elevator.
She rubbed her hand up and down over her chest, over her heart, as she walked out into the hall. She could see the elevators straight down the hall but there was no one there. She walked in circles outside the room. She heard the noise of the television in the common room a few doors down the hall. She hadn't been in there yet.
Go there. Fill your head with other thoughts so the crazy ones can't come in.

There were only a few people in the room; some slouched in armchairs, others sitting tensely on the couch. The face of J. R. Ewing was plastered across the screen.
Dallas
. God, even over here! She didn't have a television at home but she had heard about the show. She plunked herself down on a small wooden chair, still rubbing her hand back and forth over her heart. She couldn't break its rhythm. Her eyes followed J. R. around on the screen. He was arguing with someone. A door slammed, someone cried, another shouted, “Murder!”

Ruby sat on the edge of her seat and stared into the
screen. Another voice eased its way into her ears, sliding over the voices of the actors. She could feel its slippery tentacles sounding their way into her head. Her hand rubbed harder and faster over her heart.
Jessie, Jessie, Jessie, Jessie
. The chameleon voice rustled now like a distant wind. “Hush!” Ruby told it. She shook herself and squinted at the screen.

Werner's mocking voice droned on and on in her ears. “She's gone. She's gone. She's gone.” She slapped her hands against her ears and threw herself on the floor. She crawled over to the TV and pawed the screen. Her voice railed out into the air, “Why are you doing this to me?” White blurs appeared in front of her again, lifting her, pushing her.

“Get her back to the room. Then get Dr. Heller. Quick!”

Ruby's body collided against the mattress. Bodies huddled over her. She heard someone say, “Take it easy, take it easy on her, will ya!”

Irina! Ruby flailed the space in front of her.

“Get the hell back! Get her out of here!”

Ruby fought to get a glimpse of Irina's face. Someone yanked on her arm. She knew the needle was coming.

“Come on, let it come, let it come,” she ranted to herself. Heavy clouds puffed up in her head. Exhausted, she fell back against her pillow, waiting for the nothingness to come.

At two o'clock she got out of bed and prepared to go down to Dr. Heller's office. Irina and Elke were sleeping. She walked slowly out into the hall, her arms hanging disjointed at her
sides as if they no longer belonged to her. She stared at the floor, watching her feet move, right, left right, left, in front of her. She looked up only when she was at the nursing station. An older woman was standing in a hospital gown outside the station, drooling and babbling to herself. Down the hall a young man was banging himself up against the wall, moaning and pulling at his hair. “Christ,” Ruby thought. “What am I doing here?”