CADEnce (Deception Book 2) (10 page)

I COULD FEEL HIS QUESTIONING eyes on me, his pity a filthy stench around me.

“What do you want, Jenson?”

I continued to pummel the bag, relishing in the sweat that stung my eyes, each pound on the stuffed leather causing a pain to shoot through my hands and triggering a fresh outpour of blood. I needed the blood; I needed to know I could still bleed. I wasn’t sure I was living anymore.

“Where is Faye, Cade?”

I winced when my teeth sank into my bottom lip and I closed my eyes for a second, catching the bag as it swung back at me. I straightened my shoulders and ran my tongue over my retreating gums. “Home.”

He paused, taking a step further towards me. “No she’s not. I’ve just come from upstairs.”

I laughed, shaking my head at his stupidity. “Not my home. Hers.”

“What?”

His shock matched mine when we’d flown back home and Faye had told me she needed to go back to her place. Needed space and time, she said. Still loved me, she said. Fuck, if she loved me, why did it feel so damn agonizing?

His silence was loud, his unsaid words expressive. “Cade.”

“Don’t!”

Ignoring him, I turned to the punch bag again, savoring the pain that overruled all other senses. I needed it to hold me up. Without the stimulant of agony I knew I would sink to my knees and let the grief consume me.

“You let her go?”

I turned on him so fast his eyes didn’t have time to widen before his back hit the floor and my fingers clawed his throat, my thighs trapping his chest tightly beneath me as I leant within an inch of his face. “Tell me what I’m supposed to do, Jen. Lock her up again? Hold her here even if she doesn’t wanna be here? That would make me as bad as him!”

He didn’t fight me. And it wasn’t because he knew he could never take me on. It was because he hurt for me. He was my best friend and he desperately wanted to take all this away from me. Just like I wanted to for him whenever life took him down.

He nodded, understanding. “But you’re gonna fight,” he choked out around my hold, making me realize just how tight my grip was on him. “You’re gonna bring her back?”

“I can’t not. I need her to breathe. To live.” I closed my eyes to the sound of my own despair. I would only allow Jenson to witness it. And he was the only one who wouldn’t judge me for it.

“Is she safe?”

I stared at him. “You know me better than that. Of course she’s safe. I have Grant and Sed ghosting her. And she has Frank.”

The door opened and we both turned. Amy’s eyes widened and she slammed to a halt when she found us in what must have looked like quite a romantic moment.

“Oh my God,” she screeched, backing out of the door with her eyes screwed shut. “I’m so sorry!”

Both Jenson and I stared at the door when it closed again. I couldn’t hold back my own laugh when Jenson spluttered out his. “Jesus H Christ. That is one ditzy bitch!”

Our hysterics died and I lifted myself off the floor, my fingers squeezing my temples. “I need to get drunk!”

“And I know just the place.” Jenson grinned as he slapped me on the back.

“YOU NEED TO BANG THAT!” I looked at Jenson through hooded eyes, pointing vaguely in the direction of the stripper flouncing her huge tits on the stage, her shaved pussy right in line with our eyes.

He nodded then sighed sadly. He was as drunk as I was. “I miss the fun we had in college, Cade. You remember that stunning Chinese girl we spit roasted. Fuck!” He held both hands up, curling his fingers into imaginary tits.

I scoffed, shaking my head and blowing out a breath at the sudden rise of nausea. Shit, I’d had way too much. “Chen!” Her name burst into my mind for some inexplicable reason. I hadn’t thought of her since I was eighteen.

Jenson nodded, pointing a finger at me. “Yeah, that’s her.” He sighed contentedly. “Chen!”

We both shifted in our seats as visions assaulted us of that conquest many years ago. Fuck, I was horny.

“But you know, no bitch comes anywhere near Faye in the sack. Fuck, she’s incredible. Knows how to move those sexy little hips she has. And Christ, when she palms her tits and rolls her fat nipples in her fingers. Makes me shiver, man. I swear she does it to torture me. She uses her pussy to get her own way.”

“That’s a bitch thing,” Jenson slurred, trying to take a sip of his Jack but giggling like a girl when he missed his mouth and it trickled down his chin.

I nodded, agreeing with him.

“Most women want commitment. I offered that to Blue and only asked for loyalty and orgasms in return. That’s all I asked for!”

“And to put it up her ass.”

“Up the ass is a given in relationships.” Snorting, I knocked back a shot and chased the burn with a cold mouthful of whatever the bartender filled my glass with. “Cade? It is, right? Don’t be playing with me.”

“I need Faye.” I groaned, shifting on my stool to accommodate my hard dick. “Fuck, so bad. I haven’t felt her sweet pussy in so long. I’m so hard I’m gonna knock some fucker out if I stand up.”

Jenson reared back, staring at me with narrow eyes. “You need to do something about that!”

“Yeah but it’s not the same. I can’t even jerk myself off as good as she does it.”

“Pfft,” Jensen grumbled, nodding his head sadly. “Then get round there and fuck your girl!”

“I can’t just turn up and fuck her.”

“Why?”

“Because . . .”

“She’s your fiancée, damn it! It’s a given right that once you slip a diamond on her finger, her sweet little cunt should be paying you back for that rock in installments.”

My head bobbed manically as my eyes followed each stab of his finger in the air with each word. “What? That’s shit. I gave her a ring ‘cos I want to marry her! She’s my everything. I nearly lost her. Why does it feel like I still have?”

“Yes. But,” he pointed to me again, the tip of his finger catching my eyeball and making me blink and squint at him, “A ring is a symbol, man. A ring for a ring.”

My face screwed up in bewilderment. He’d completely ignored everything I said about the ring. “What the fuck are you on?”

“The ring. You give her a ring; she gives you her ring back! It’s how it works.”

“Really?”

“What the fuck, Cade? Where the hell have you been since evolution? What the hell did you think the engagement ring symbolized?”

“Well.” I shrugged, grabbing onto the bar when my ass slid slightly off the stool. “Eternal love. You know, no end.”

His jaw dropped as he stared at me. A bark of laughter spluttered from him. “Shit man, that’s the religious ex . . . explanation.” He burped loudly, rubbing his chest. “To the non-religious.” His finger moved to and fro between us. “It means an eye for an eye.”

“But I don’t want her eye. I want between her thighs right now. I want to own her fucking heart like she does mine.”

He rolled his eyes. “Freaking hell, you thick shit. It’s a meteorfall.”

“A what?”

“A meteorfall. You know, one of those comparison things. A sim . . . simil. . . . simile. A meteorfall!” He gave me a firm nod, this time with a bit of a wobble.

“You fucking dick, that’s a metaphor!”

“Yeah. That’s what I said! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

I shrugged. “I’m not drunk enough to make sense of your crap.”

“My crap is serious crap, man. You know I’m right. You just hate it when you know you’re not as slick as me!”

I laughed loudly, kicking my foot out and catching his leg. “How many times have I told you to stop smoking that shit?”

He smirked and I groaned when I knew what was coming. That one night at school would haunt me forever. Bastards!

“We both know who actually smokes shit!”

“Fuck off!”

He jigged about in his seat, barking loudly at me. “Your fucking face when the guys told you. You barfed your fucking guts up!”

I glared when he fell about in hysterics, his fist thumping the bar as he roared harder. “It stank, and you never freaking smelled it!”

“Fuck you!” I gagged, my mind replaying the assholes that had rolled dried dog shit and told me it was good stuff. Hell, it was my first joint, how the fuck was I supposed to know what it tasted like?

“You . . . you . . .” Tears streamed down his face as he pointed at me. “You smoked the lot. Jesus holy fuck!”

He didn’t laugh when I shoved him. His body teetered backwards in slow motion, his fingers clawing the bar in a useless grip as his legs rose in the air and he tipped backwards, landing on the floor with a hefty thump, an ‘oomph’ bursting from his lungs.

“Now who’s fucking slick?” I winked at him.

He sighed, looking up at me from the ground. “Blue left without a word again. I fucking hate her. I swear to God I’m done fucking that bitch, even if she has a magic pussy and lets me in the rear entry. Oh, and head. That woman sucks like she’s getting paid to do it.”

I checked my phone for the hundredth time, reading a message from Frank telling me my girl had cried herself to sleep. How did I end up here, off my face with my best friend, both of us pining for women who abandoned us?

“I’m going to fuck that stripper in the ass and tape it then send it to Blue!” Jenson announced waving her over. “You want me to buy you a lap dance?”

He should have known better than to ask that. No stripper pussy or ass wriggling up on me would do shit for me. I needed my girl. I’d give her tonight, but tomorrow if she wanted to be at her home I’d be there too.

“Hey,” the stripper said. “Oh, fuck. You’re the lead singer from Beneath Innocence!”

“My cock needs attention.”

“Oh my God. Come into one of the private rooms and I’ll take care of that for you.”

Lucky prick.

PULLING MY ROBE TIGHTER, I stared out of the kitchen window, appreciating the view. The poplars were thick now, their leaves a mass of green, their branches thick and powerful.

The kettle clicked off and I mindlessly filled my cup, wondering whether I could stomach milk with my coffee. After piling two heaped spoons of sugar in, I picked it up and walked out to the veranda, slowly lowering myself onto the top of the steps that led down to the garden.

Benny was doing an excellent job with the garden. It was full of color; a display of greenery and ornaments pleasing to the eye. My gaze settled on the small summerhouse at the bottom, my lips turning into a smile when I replayed some of my adventures with Cade in there.

It didn’t lift my heart, though. Nothing could.

I’d spent so much time at Cade’s house that my own home wasn’t mine anymore. It was a building that catered for me whenever we’d had an argument. That was all it was now. Another prison that would house my heartache.

For the first time in months I’d spent a night alone in my own bed. It was large, it was cold, and it broke my heart as I’d sobbed myself to sleep.

I didn’t know what to do. My eyes squeezed closed when Cade’s face came swimming into my vision, his hurt and pain when I’d told him I wanted to go home. I wanted nothing more than to curl into him and stay there until my heart forgot to beat. But I knew I would never have that again.

He’d always risked so much for me. His strength had held me up time and time again. Yet it was time to find my own strength to do what was needed. To let him go.