By the Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead (18 page)

Each of us needs to decide how we want to react if we experience an incident of bullying as a target or a witness. Discuss what options are available inside and outside the school. If there are no helpful options in your school, how can you and others make the school accountable?

If your school does not have a posted statement of respectful behavior, perhaps you and your friends could create one. Try publishing it in your school newspaper. One elementary school had this one-sentence creed: “We don’t hurt anybody’s insides or outsides.”

Always remember to treat others with respect, and expect to be treated with respect.

Suicide

Suicide is the third leading cause of death in young people ages fifteen to twenty-four. Since 1992, suicide among youth has slowly declined, but the rates are still high. Why are people of this age so vulnerable to suicide?

If a friend told you he or she was thinking about suicide, what would you do? What resources do you know of in the school or outside?

Secrets keep us sick. Secrets stand in the way of healing. If a friend made you promise not to tell that he is thinking of committing suicide, would you keep your promise? Is it better to have a dead friend who still trusts you, or a live friend who is angry with you?

Daelyn was teased and bullied her whole life. Do you think there’s anything she could have done differently to resolve the problem? Did adults let her down?

Some people contemplate suicide as a way to make their attackers feel guilty. Why isn’t this a good plan?

Most young people who have considered suicide say they felt hopeless, or isolated, or insignificant. Have you ever felt like that? What did you do to change your feelings? What are some healthy coping behaviors? What are some unhealthy coping behaviors?

Suicide Warning Signs

(From National Suicide Prevention Lifeline)

* Threatening to hurt or kill oneself or talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself

* Looking for ways to kill oneself by seeking access to firearms, available pills, or other means

* Talking or writing about death, dying, or suicide when these actions are out of the ordinary for the person

* Feeling hopeless

* Feeling rage or uncontrolled anger or seeking revenge

* Acting reckless or engaging in risky activities—seemingly without thinking

* Feeling trapped—like there’s no way out

* Increasing alcohol or drug use

* Withdrawing from friends, family, and society

* Feeling anxious, agitated, or unable to sleep, or sleeping all the time

* Experiencing dramatic mood changes

* Seeing no reason for living or having no sense of purpose in life

If you hear or see someone you know exhibiting any of these signs, seek help immediately. Contact a mental health professional or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK. It is better to be embarrassed than to do nothing and lose a friend. The most common emotion shared by those around someone who commits suicide is guilt.

Suicide Prevention Hotlines and Web Sites

We can all band together to help each other during the hard times in our lives. If you need to speak with a trained counselor through a telephone crisis hotline, please pick up the phone. Most hotlines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Don’t be afraid. Everything you say is confidential.

National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1-800-273-TALK (273-8255)

Suicide Awareness Voices of Education: www.save.org

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP): 1-888-333-AFSP (333-2377)
www.afsp.org

Adolescent Crisis Intervention & Counseling Nineline: 1-800-999-9999

Self-Injury Hotline: SAFE (Self Abuse Finally Ends) Alternatives Program: www.selfinjury.com

1-800-DONT CUT (366-8288)

Youth America Hotline

Peer Counseling

1-877-Youthline (968-8454)

Anti-Bullying Hotlines and Web Sites

If you are being bullied, or would like to talk to a trained professional about your situation or that of a friend, there are anti-bullying crisis hotlines. Most are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Everything you say will be kept confidential.

National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center

www.safeyouth.org/scripts/topics/bullying.asp

Girls and Boys Town Hotline: 1-800-448-3000

www.boystown.org

Teen Helpline: 1-800-400-0900

The first Bullying and Cyberbullying sites:

www.bullying.org

www.cyberbullying.org (also www.cyberbullying.ca)

Be Web Aware contains Internet safety tips for kids from two years to seventeen years in age.

http://www.bewebaware.ca

i-Safe educates students, school staff, and parents on Internet safety.

http://www.isafe.org

Wired Kids focuses on preventing cybercrimes and abuses.

www.wiredkids.org

International Sources

Suicide and Mental Health Association International:
www.suicideandmentalhealthassociationinternational.org/ Crisis.html

www.suicidehotlines.com/international.html

Anyone over age fifteen can become an activist for suicide prevention. For more information on training go to
www.livingworks.net

And see:
www.dmoz.org/Kids_and_Teens/Teen_Life/Suicide/

This guide was prepared by C. J. Bott, educational consultant and author of:
The Bully in the Book and the Classroom
(Scarecrow, 2004) and
More Bullies in More Books
(Scarecrow, 2009).

www.bulliesinbooks.com