Buying Thyme (17 page)

“Joe. Please. Don’t.” I manage to whisper, but it’s all in vain as I feel Tench drive strong, deep jolts into me and I feel the heaviness of him emptying himself into me. Tench roars out a long moan. With the onslaught now finished, Tench reaches over and unwraps my foot from the barre. My foot flops to the ground like a dead weight. I feel the tie around my neck and I look up in shock once again. Through watery eyes, I see Tench gripping onto the robe tie around my neck. He pulls back on it so that my throat is constricted and I can’t swallow, my head is beginning to feel tight. My body feels heavy and I can’t fight off Tench.

“You’re
mine
now!” He breathes into my ear. With that, he releases the tie around my neck and I drop to the ground in a heap.

CHAPTER
15

I stay crumpled
on the hard wooden floor of
the dance studio, incapable of moving. The music has long stopped and the room is now shrouded in a cold, lonely silence. I can’t bring myself to even look up, for fear of catching my reflection in the mirror in front of me. In fact, the last thing I want to see right now is my own face. I feel disgusting. I feel worse than a whore. I feel like someone’s spent garbage. Tears have flooded my eyes so much so that all I can make out around me is the blurry colour of my naked skin. I have never had unprotected sex with anyone before. It was the one last thing that I felt like I could hold onto for myself. A condom created a veil of protection and had me believe that I was still in control. Like I was the one who got to choose who I was going to give myself completely to. And now Tench has taken that from me. I can still feel Tench’s stickiness oozing from between my legs. I don’t know what to think about him now. I don’t know what to do… I can’t tell Miss Stephanie what’s happened. Tench is a powerful man, and one of our top clients… and no doubt I will be to blame for this. I don’t want to lose my job with the Agency. I wonder where Tench went? I can’t face him right now. Still struggling with any urges to move from the floor altogether, I finally reach up, and with the aid of the ballet barre above me, drag myself up from the floor. I grab my robe from the doorway and head back out of the room. The mansion feels all encompassing again. I feel like I don’t belong here. I feel sick at the thought of being in Tench’s room right now, so I head to the spare room to the right of the wing instead. The room looks just as I remember it when I was looking for my necklace the last time I was here. That night seems so long ago and so different from now. Did Tench fool me into a false reality? Was everything he did last time all just a front to get me to come back here, so that he could just take what he wanted from me, whenever he wanted? I make my way through the enormous walk-in closet, towards the bathroom at the end. Passing the dresser in the middle of the room only further breaks my heart. I remember the excitement of finding the box containing the necklace on top of it. Now it’s just another reminder of how wrong I was.

I scrub every
inch of my body over and over until my skin prickles with raw sensitivity from the friction of scrubbing. I want to get rid of any remaining thought of what just happened. I want to forget it
ever
happened. Why am I with someone like Tench right now when there is someone like Tom Smythe in the world? Tom never took advantage of me, and had a respect for me that I will never have with Tench. All those nights with Tom where he just looked after me and I have just one night here and Tench does this to me. I want to run far far away from this place, but I can’t. I am trapped in this compound for the next month, like a prisoner. I want to run to Tom. I finish in the shower and wrap one of the big towels around my wet hair and another around my body to try and hug something around myself. I make my way back to the bedroom and crawl into the big, white cloudy bed in the middle of the room. In contrast to its luxurious look, the bed feels cold and uninviting, like no one has been in it for a long time… if at all. I just want to hide under the covers and never come out. The darkness between the sheets warms me into a feeling of safety. I’m exhausted from the tears and the inner torment. My eyes are sore and heavy and I feel myself drift off into sleep… searching for some peace in my dreams.

Movement on the
bed startles me from what
was a pleasant slumber. My eyes spring open and I see Tench is sitting on the edge of the bed. My eyes still have a sting to them, a reminder of my earlier tears. He reaches out to me and I flinch. I don’t want him to touch me. My reaction wipes the smile from Tench’s face and he looks saddened by this.

“Miranda…” He says softly as he reaches out again and lightly brushes my cheek with the back of his hand.
 

This still makes me tense up. I lay frozen in the bed. I want to move but I can’t.

“You’re taking this all the wrong way gorgeous.” He hisses the last word, “I want to be with you. I wanted to show you
how
much I want to be with you. I thought you would enjoy the fact that I trust you enough
not
to wear a condom. You’re taking this the wrong way Miranda. I would never have done that if I thought you would react like this.”

My eyes stay on Tench, but I move my head away slightly so that he is no longer touching my face.

“But you know that we can’t do that Joe. And I told you to stop… you didn’t stop. I wanted you to stop but you just…” I can’t finish the sentence.

My voice still has a crackle to it and
 I can feel the tears building up again. I don't want to let Tench see my tears, I feel weak enough as it is. I don’t want to feel like this. Tench took something that was so precious from me and now he’s just acting like I was asking for it!

“I want you in my life Miranda... and if the only way I get you is to buy you so that no one else has you… then that’s what I’ll do. You have to understand how strongly I feel for you.” His voice is low but no longer soft.
 

It sounds like a warning. Once again, I don’t understand him.

“Look Miranda. Let’s not let this ruin the rest of your time here. I’ve made you some breakfast…” His voice is soft and gentle again. 

Tench picks up the tray from the bedside table.
 The crockery on the tray jingles in harmony as Tench places the tray next to me on the bed. I sit up in the bed, pulling the towel up, preventing my breasts from exposing themselves to him. Tench made me breakfast? Maybe I did take this all wrong? I want to believe that idea, but then I remember the robe-tie that he held around my neck, and remind myself to know better than to trust his empty words.

“How long was I asleep for?” I wonder out aloud.

“Long enough for me to have to search for you! I was getting worried that you may have ran away.” Tench replies and places the tray on my lap before he plants a kiss on my forehead. 

He walks towards the door of the bedroom and pauses at the doorway,

“By the way, Miss Stephanie rang earlier for your welfare check, so you had better call her back soon. There’s a phone in here somewhere. Don’t ask me where… but there is
apparently
. So call her back when you’ve finished breakfast.” Tench stays at the doorway watching me for a moment. I don’t know what to say in response.

“I will.” I say quietly.

“Oh and Miranda… about this morning… I think for your sake, it’s probably something you would want to keep to yourself… okay.” He continues to stare at me, waiting for me to acknowledge the definite warning.

“Okay.” I look down at the tray in front of me, not wanting to show Tench how vulnerable I feel right now.
 

I feel trapped… both mentally and physically.

I slowly eat
my way through the poached eggs
on toast with Zaatar sprinkled on top. I eat it, but I don’t taste anything. I just eat for the sake of eating. The orange coloured breakfast juice is refreshing and heavy at the same time. Once I’m done, I get up and locate the phone beside the window on a long skinny, dark wood hall table. A blue and white striped armchair sits next to it. I dial the Agency number and sit on the chair with my legs up. Pulling my knees to my chest, I prepare myself for a conversation with my madam that I  really don’t want right now.

“Hi Miss Stephanie, It’s Miranda.”

She mumbles something in reply, but I’m really not listening at all. There is too much occupying my mind. Then I remember my dream.

“Is Sally back yet?” I cut her off mid sentence.

“No Miranda. It has been two days of no-show from that girl. She has cost me a lot of money! She can consider herself out of a position here with the Agency. I am in the process of cancelling her contract with us as we speak.”

“But Miss Stephanie… Don’t you think it’s really out of character for her not to show up at all? Has anyone been around to her house? I’m really starting to worry about her. This just isn’t like her at all!” I start to panic about my friend’s safety now, my dream flashing before my eyes again and again.

“I’ve contacted her emergency contacts and none of her family have seen her for over a month, but it doesn’t sound like they have much to do with her anyway. Her phone has been off for a couple of days. When did you speak to her last darling?”
Miss Stephanie still doesn’t sound convinced that Sally hasn’t just taken off without telling anyone.

“She called my phone the day before I came back to work, but I didn’t speak to her. She just left a message for me to call her back. Her phone has been off for three days now. I haven’t tried her today, have you?” I am genuinely concerned for her safety now.
 

The feeling that something is wrong is growing stronger. I can feel it in my bones. I just hope I’m wrong.

“I’ll send Ben around to her place now. It is unusual for Sally, I must admit. But it is not the first time one of my girls has done this Miranda, so I’m not surprised if she has decided to leave the Agency without so much as a goodbye. I know you’re very close with her, but please don’t be surprised if that is the case. You know as well as anyone what it’s like in this industry. Please accept that she will no longer be working for this Agency. I’m sorry Miranda. It just has to be.”

“Well I know my friend and I know she would never do that.”
 

I slam the phone down in frustration and quickly leave the room to get my iPhone from my bag in Tench’s room. I tip out the entire contents of my bag across Tench’s bed. My phone is missing!
Tench!
So I am being held captive here! What is this all about?

Putting on my
oversized woollen jumper and
black leggings, I make my way down to the kitchen to try and find that bastard! How dare he touch any of my personal belongings… let alone take them from me! Hasn’t he taken enough from me this morning? Now he’s taking my freedom too! Mrs Oktar is bustling about in the kitchen when I make my dramatic entrance.

“So where the hell is he then? Does he do this to you too? Are you held here like a prisoner too? He’s got a lot of nerve! I know he’s some kind of powerful guy in this city… but this is ridiculous! I want to know where he is to get my phone back! He’s taken my phone! Can you believe he took it?” Mrs Oktar is staring at me in a state of shock.
 

I don’t know where this has come from either. I think between the morning’s events and not knowing where Sally is, I’ve lost control! Mrs Oktar rushes around the central bench of the kitchen, putting her arm around me, she directs me to a stool. The rare moment of a motherly touch sends me over the edge and I burst into tears as I sit down on the stool. I’m angry, sad, scared and confused all at once and I can’t take it any longer.

“There there dear… I know Mr Tench can be tough sometimes, but he’s under a lot of pressure at the moment and I know he’s very fond of you, he’s just not used to that, so try to be patient with him okay. Come on… what would you like me to make you for lunch? Would you like some tea?” Mrs Oktar tries to reassure me. 

He's fond of me? Fuck.
I’d hate to see what he’s like if he hated me.

“Do you have something stronger than tea?” I joke… with a hint of truth to the request, “I’ve just eaten but I could go a coffee maybe?” I mumble, still sucking back the tears.

“White with one?” Mrs Oktar smiles and makes her way over to the enormous stainless steel Wega coffee machine. 

Mrs Oktar knowing how I have my coffee makes me think of Tom Smythe once again. Sweet Tom. He always knew how I have my coffee. Tench would have no idea! I wish I could see Tom right now and tell him everything, but I’m not going to see him for another month. I need to find a way to see him again. The tears stream down my face and my breathing stutters as I inhale. First things first… I need to find out why Tench has taken my phone. It’s not l
ike I was going anywhere anyway. He owns me… like some kind of exotic animal for the next month. This is the first time I actually feel like someone’s whore when I don’t want to. Maybe it’s because Tench is treating me like a whore? With the other clients I always feel like I’m the one in control… not with Tench.

“So do you know where Joe is Mrs Oktar?” I try and distract my thoughts and the yearning for Tom Smythe by focusing on the subject at hand… finding Tench and my phone!

“I would say he’s in his office Miss Miranda. He spends a lot of time in there lately.” I caress my latte in both hands and try to calm down after my rant.

Tench’s office is
located on the second floor in the northern wing of the mansion. I pause in front of the doorway at the end of the hall for a moment so as to try and hear his voice from within the room. This is becoming a habit in this place. With that thought, I decide to just knock and hope for the best.

“Door’s open…” I hear Tench call out in a kindly manner.