Butterfly Lane (32 page)

Chapter Fifty-Six

O
n Tuesday, Zanny and Emma had lunch at the bakery next door to the shop. It had become a habit of theirs to go at least once a week because the food was scrumptious. Zanny had ordered a caesar salad with grilled chicken, and Emma had gotten the chicken salad croissant. As delicious as the food was, though, Zanny was picking at hers.

“What’s on your mind?” Emma asked as she stole a piece of chicken.

“Those letters. My mom. My aunt.”

“I think you’re going to have to give in and call.”

Zanny propped her chin on her hand and stirred her iced tea. “And say what? ‘Hi, I’m your long-lost niece. I didn’t know you existed until last week. How’s life?’”

Emma used a leftover bit of her bread to wipe the plate clean. “Yeah, kinda. That’s exactly what you say. You have to start somewhere.”

“You don’t think that my popping up is going to blindside them?” Zanny was skeptical. Seeing the way Emma was eyeing the rest of her salad, she pushed it across the table.

“Of course it will. But you said that your mom, in her letters, mentioned time and again how supportive your aunt and uncle were. I think they’ll be overjoyed to hear from you at last.”

Zanny sighed. “I won’t rest until I do.”

“You won’t.”

“And the Fourth of July is coming up. If I don’t contact them now, they might be out of town for the holiday.”

“So use the phone at the office and call them. Get it over with.” Emma shook her lemonade, resettling the ice so that she could get out the last of the liquid. “Trust me on this. Ripping this bandage off fast is going to be easier than letting the wound fester underneath. And a few days can make a difference.”

From the pensive expression on her face, Zanny figured Emma was thinking about the baby’s father again. She’d been doing that a lot lately, along with second-guessing herself. Her self-doubt was hard to watch because she was normally so confident, and Zanny hated the unknown man for putting that kind of weight on her friend’s shoulders.

Reaching across the table, she took Emma’s hand. “Stop that. You’re exactly where you need to be and where you want to be. Don’t let the hormones tear you apart like this. You and that baby are going to be so surrounded by love, and so happy, you’ll look back at these days and smile. I believe that, Em.”

“I miss him.”

“I know.”

“I have to keep reminding myself of the horror on his face when I told him about her,” she confessed. “The disgust and disdain. But I also keep thinking about the good times. Don’t they say our memories trick us, so that we only remember the good and not the bad after a while?”

“It’s a coping mechanism. But some things we don’t need to forget, or we can’t go forward and truly appreciate what we have.”

Emma smiled. “You’re the philosopher on me, now.” She kissed Zanny’s hand, making them both laugh, then sat back with a sigh. “I’ll be fine. I know you’re right about that. Most of the time.”

“As long as you know it most of the time.” Zanny stood and started clearing their table. “You really think I should call her? My aunt, I mean?”

“I do. If for no other reason than you get it over and done with.”

“Then I guess I’d better do it, before the two o’clock appointment gets here. No time like the present.”

When John came in from work that evening, Zanny was tense. She was in the bedroom, folding a basket of laundry, and he stopped in the door to admire the view of her in short denim cutoffs and one of his old T-shirts. She gave him a hug and a lingering kiss, but the muscles across her shoulders were as hard as rocks.

“What’s going on?”

She shrugged as she tugged his shirt from his waistband, unbuttoning it. “Do you have to work this weekend?”

John obliged her by raising his arms, and they got his shirts off. “No. Why? And uh, not that I’m not thrilled to be getting undressed with you, but aren’t the boys upstairs? Or is that noise I hear some really big squirrels?” he asked as a belly laugh floated down from above.

“They are. And I didn’t mean to come on to you like that,” she admitted, her cheeks flushing. “I just thought you might be cooler without so many layers on.”

Grinning, John backed her against the door, closing it in the process. “You just wanted to see me naked. I don’t mind.” He dipped his head for a kiss. Her arms came up around his neck, and she moaned softly. John could almost feel her tension melting away.

Footsteps running back and forth in the playroom thumped over their heads, and John decided to see how far she would let him go. He reached for the waistband of Zanny’s shorts and undid them. Pushing them over her hips, along with her underwear, he let them fall.

“We can’t,” she whispered, her cheeks going scarlet. “The boys…”

“Will make enough noise that we’ll hear them coming.” He undid his pants and touched her between her legs. “I want to play, too.”

Their coupling was fast and hard, but satisfying. He took her against the door, a fact that left him laughing after they were finished.

“What’s so funny?” she asked as he let her down to her feet.

“Us. I feel like a damned teenager again. In a good way.” He kissed her deeply, then stepped back, leaving his pants on the floor. “So what’s going on this weekend?”

“That depends. I called my aunt this afternoon.” She used the T-shirt he handed her to blot the wetness between her thighs. John locked the door and followed her to the bathroom.

“How did that go?”

“Better than I thought it would. We both cried,” she admitted. “She wants to meet me. She invited us up this weekend, for the day.”

“Do you want to go?”

She didn’t answer straight away. “Yes and no. More yes.”

“Just us, or the four of us?”

“Just us this first time.”

“Then we’ll go.”

A rapid-fire knock hit the bedroom door, and John could hear the knob being jiggled. “Mommy?”

“I’ll be right there, Noah,” she called. She finished cleaning up and shot John a look full of disbelief as she got dressed, “I can’t believe I let you do that. In broad daylight.”

Confident that wasn’t a complaint, he leaned against the door, naked, and grinned. “I’ll do it again, too. I can’t have you thinking I don’t want you passionately.”

When Zanny edged past him, her hand shot out and tickled him intimately. John jerked and grabbed her hand to stop her.

“Wench.”

“Don’t you forget it. Love you.”

He let her go, and she crossed the room, edging into the hall so that the boys couldn’t see in. He heard her speaking to them softly. Giggles and pounding feet followed. The door opened a crack.

“We’re going to the yard. See you in a minute?”

“Sure. Zanny? Love you, too.”

Chapter Fifty-Seven

T
heir conversation was fits and starts on the drive up to Frankfort on Saturday morning. Zanny had been so anxious the night before that she’d tossed and turned well into the night. John had finally just rolled onto his back, pulled her on top of him, and started making love to her.

“Oh, the sacrifices I make,” he’d teased.

Zanny had neatly turned the tables on him at that point, focusing all her energy on dragging things out until he was begging for mercy.

As they passed Lexington, she couldn’t help but chuckle when she thought about the night before.

“What are you snickering about over there?”

“You, last night.”

“Good thing the boys were at Emma’s with her and Rachel.”

“Given the howling you did? Very good thing.”

“Howling?” The offended look he shot her promised retribution and made her laugh even harder. “What do you think Ben’s up to, by the way?”

Zanny pursed her lips and shrugged. “I don’t know. He didn’t mention where he was going to anyone?”

“Nope.”

Ben had called them late on Wednesday to let them know he would be out of town for a few days, but would be back in time for the large family picnic on the Fourth, which was the coming Tuesday.

“Think he has a girlfriend somewhere?”

John shook his head. “He isn’t acting like he’s in love or involved, aside from the Ainsley thing. I think it’s something to do with this surprise he has for Emma.”

“I hope it’s a good one.”

“Knowing my brother? It could be anything.”

Zanny grew quiet as they approached the Frankfort exit Jocelyn had told them to take, and she let out a shuddering sigh as John guided the car down the exit ramp. He held his hand palm up in her lap. Grateful for the contact, Zanny took it.

The neighborhood were Zanny’s aunt lived was a quiet, older street where the houses were stately, if careworn. John parked on the street and turned off the motor. In the silence, Zanny could hear birds chirping, and as she studied the house, three fat grey squirrels ran across the yard and up the tree at the front bumper of the car. The third one stopped and turned to face them, chattering and flapping its tail for a few seconds, before jumping back down on the sidewalk and casually wandering away.

“Think that was the welcoming committee?” John teased.

“Sure felt like it. Let’s do this.”

The door opened before they made it halfway up the brick walk, and a woman who looked eerily familiar came outside. Her arms were crossed, and her anxiety was plain to see. An inch or two taller than Zanny, she was also heavier, but not fat. Her hair was held back by a velvet headband, and the curls it held back were also familiar. She was studying Zanny as closely as Zanny was her, and her hand went to her mouth.

“Oh, Suzanna. I’d know you anywhere,” she cried. “You look just like your mother.” And as simply as that, she folded Zanny into her arms for a tight, joyful hug.

She closed her eyes against the pain and the relief of knowing she’d finally found some of the missing pieces of her past.

For long minutes, they held each other, and then Jocelyn pulled back. Her husband was there behind her, ready to hand out tissues.

“Oh, Steve, look at her. It’s like seeing Molly all over again, only younger.”

“That it is.” He was a little taller than Jocelyn and was balding and plump around the middle, but he had a kind smile. He shook hands with John. “Why don’t you kids come on in?”

“Thank you.”

“Wait, let me get a look at you, too,” Jocelyn insisted. She did a quick head-to-toe inspection of John then smiled broadly. “What a handsome young man you are. I’ll bet your children are adorable.”

Zanny laughed a little as a flush spread across John’s cheeks. “We think so.”

Once they were inside, Steve led them to a sunroom on the back of the house. It was still early enough in the day that the sun hadn’t made its way over the house, and the room was pleasantly cool.

“I made some tea and some lemonade,” Jocelyn told them as they took seats. She popped right back up again. “Or do you need a restroom? Hazard’s a long drive.”

“We stopped at a rest area a few miles back,” John told her after Zanny shook her head.

Steve tugged on Jocelyn’s hand, and she sat.

“I’m so nervous, you see. I’ve wanted to see this girl for so long, and I had given up hope that it would ever happen.” She beamed across the table at Zanny, then wiped her eyes.

“I was afraid you might not want to see me,” Zanny confessed. “For all you knew, I had ignored all the letters these past years.”

Jocelyn was shaking her head before Zanny finished her sentence. “I didn’t think that. Neither did Molly. We knew how Dennis was, you see. And he swore when they separated he’d keep you from her. You know how things are in Eastern Kentucky. The courts don’t like outsiders. We didn’t have the resources to fight him to get you back. So as bad as this sounds, we prayed for years and years that he’d die young, and we’d get you back.” Her eyes grew as round as silver dollars, and her hand flew up to her mouth. “I’m so sorry. Oh, God. That sounds so awful. He was your father. I’m sorry.”

Zanny wasn’t offended. “My father was not a good person. When he died, we hadn’t spoken for five years. And we were never close.” She looked down at her lap, where her hands were tangled with John’s. “I have so many questions for you, I don’t know where to begin. I don’t know how to do this. I’m sorry.”

“Why don’t you just ask us what you want to know, and we’ll go from there?” Steve said. “And we don’t know how to do this, either. So much is running through your mind at a time like this. We’ll get to all of it, I promise.”

John brushed a curl back off her face, his hand coming to rub slow, soothing circles on her back. Zanny looked at him, helpless, and he spoke for her.

“Can you tell us what happened? Why Molly and Dennis separated, why he ended up with Zanny?”

Jocelyn’s face tightened, and she exchanged a worried look with her husband. “Yes, but you might not…you might have a hard time believing some of what we tell you. You’ll think we’re crazy.”

Zanny watched as the other couple joined hands, much the way she and John were sitting, and she felt herself relax a little. “I think you’ll be surprised at what we are capable of believing.”

Steve nodded encouragingly, and Jocelyn started talking. “They met when they were young. Molly was a waitress at one of the restaurants out on the interstate. We grew up here in Frankfort, you know. And I guess Dennis liked what he saw. They ended up married almost before we knew they were dating.”

“Jocelyn is the eldest, by three years,” Steve interjected. “We were newly married ourselves when Molly brought Dennis home the first time.”

“We were. I hate to say it, but I never cared for him. He was a bit too…I don’t know. Cocky, I guess the word would be. I didn’t like his attitude. He always acted like he was superior to Steve somehow, because Steve worked in an office. He’s an engineer.”

“But Dad was a truck driver,” Zanny exclaimed. “Not to disparage truck drivers, but…I’m sorry, Steve.”

“It’s fine. It isn’t your apology to have to make, anyhow. And it didn’t bother me.”

Jocelyn smiled. “That’s true. It bothered me more. Steve just let it roll off of him. But to get back to the hows and whys,” she continued, “Dennis moved Molly to the house he owned in Winchester after they married. We kept in touch, but when you’re first married, especially when that first baby comes along, things get crazy. We have three. Two girls and a boy.” She pointed to the family portrait hanging over a small table. “Anyhow, things seemed to be going well, and Molly was happier than I’ve ever seen her when you came along. But then they changed.”

Steve took over when her voice grew choked. “Ever since she was a little girl, Molly had seen and heard things—things most people don’t see or hear. And she had it under control, but she had a hard time after you were born. Dennis wasn’t home much, and she didn’t have a lot of friends she could count on.”

“I wasn’t much help, either, because I’d just found out I was pregnant with my second child, and the pregnancy was rough.” Guilt painted the woman’s face. “And she hid it from me for a long time, how much she was struggling. By the time we realized how bad it was, Dennis had found out about the visions.”

“And he didn’t react well, I take it,” Zanny said.

“To say the least.”

John’s arm tightened around her back. “Given our experiences with the man, that isn’t surprising.”

“I asked Molly after everything fell apart why she hadn’t told him earlier in their relationship about the visions. And she admitted then that she had known he wouldn’t react well. She wanted him too much to let that stop her. See, she’d handled it so well all her life. It comes down from our grandmother on Daddy’s side. So she didn’t think it would be a problem.”

“Do you have it, as well?” Zanny needed to know.

Jocelyn hesitated. “I get feelings. Nothing like what Molly went through, but I’ve learned to not ignore them.”

“Our oldest son just let us know a few weeks ago that he’s been playing with his cousin, Moira. Moira is my mother’s niece, and she and her brother were killed in 1960.” John made the confession quietly. “Noah, our son, is four. We’ve been a little concerned about it, as you can probably imagine.”

Jocelyn closed her eyes briefly. “I’m sorry. Is he—does he understand what she is?”

“He does. John’s family is rather unique,” Zanny said. “They’re very open to the paranormal. So Noah has an excellent support system.”

“Oh, good. That’s going to be useful in the years to come,” Jocelyn admitted. “And if you want, we can also help with any questions he has, or you do. So far, none of our own children have the ability quite as strongly as Molly did, but we’re all a little different.”

“What happened when my father found out? About my mother’s abilities, I mean,” Zanny clarified.

“He didn’t believe her. He thought she’d lost her mind. And he treated her like she had. He had her locked away in a psychiatric ward for the first time when you were two.” Steve’s mouth tightened. “Molly learned quickly to pretend the voices didn’t exist, the visions. She was released from the hospital in a couple of weeks, but it left scars. Back then, psychiatric hospitals were little more than asylums for the insane. Whether you had depression or were truly disturbed, you were lumped in the same group.”

Jocelyn nodded. “We tried to get her to come here, but she couldn’t leave you. And I understood that. The plan was that she’d go back to Dennis, convince him she was sane, and then once a couple of years had passed, if things were still bad, we would help her get a divorce and custody of you. But she never was the same after that. She never was able to get it back under control. Have you heard of post-partum depression?”

“Yes,” Zanny answered. “It can be vicious.”

“Very much so. And looking back now, I think that’s what happened with Molly. We didn’t know what to call it then. The baby blues is what most people knew it as. But it changed the way her brain worked, and we didn’t realize it in time to help her.”

“Well, there wasn’t a lot that could be done then. The medications to deal with depression were still in their infancy, really,” Steve added. “It wasn’t until the last two or three years of her life that she found a doctor who knew what to do. And she was back to being Molly again.”

Zanny’s heart was breaking, thinking of her mother and how much she must have suffered. “So she and Dad decided to divorce?”

Jocelyn poured them drinks while she answered. “Yes. She didn’t have a lot of choice, and as much as I hate to admit it, neither did Dennis. They filed a formal separation order, and he took you to your gran. Molly always liked her, and she thought you’d be taken care of. She had no intention of letting you go forever.”

“None at all,” Steve emphasized. “None of us did. But once it was done, Dennis did everything he could to block us from contacting you. Molly spent that first year after they split in Louisville, in a different hospital than where she’d been before.”

“When she came home, came to us,” Jocelyn said softly, “we knew she wasn’t in any shape to take care of you. She couldn’t handle being around our little ones, as much as she loved children. So we took care of her until she was able to get back on her feet somewhat. Steve’s mother lives just up the road, and Molly moved in with her.”

There was so much to take in. Zanny sat back against the pillows of the loveseat, grateful that Steve and Jocelyn seemed to understand that she needed a minute.

“What did she think, when she didn’t hear from me?” she finally asked.

“She figured Dennis had interfered. We all did. You adored her when you were little.” Jocelyn smiled. “You were her shadow. So when she never heard from you, she knew it wasn’t you.”

“And she never doubted that?”

“Not once.”

Zanny wondered if their situations were reversed, if she would be as strong as her mother had been.

She and John spent most of the day with Jocelyn and Steve. Jocelyn had boxes and boxes of photo albums, and she eagerly pulled them out. When Zanny confessed that she didn’t have any pictures of her mother, Jocelyn handed her a large envelope.

“That has copies of several of the best pictures I have of Molly, as well as a few of us and our parents. I figured someone like Dennis wouldn’t let you keep pictures, so as soon as you called, I started pulling those together for you. They’re yours to keep.”

On top of all the day’s revelations, that one touched Zanny the most, and she didn’t even try to stop her tears. “Thank you so much.”

By four o’clock, she was exhausted. John picked up on it, to her relief.

“As much as this has been a wonderful day, and we’ve enjoyed spending time with you, I think we need to go. The last few months have been difficult for us, and I think Zanny needs a break.”