Burnt (2 page)

***

“
Tara Matthews!
” Kevin cheered as Tara’s name was called. He caught a glimpse of her as she walked across the stage to accept her degree. Admittedly, there was a palpable pang of regret he felt inside. He wasn’t up there with her, but the pain disappeared as she turned her tassel.

He still couldn’t believe she was making the sacrifice for him. He would have never expected it, and he still didn’t know how he felt about it. He tried to focus on the rest of the graduation, but his mind wandered back to the day they made the decision to go to the University of Alaska.

“I chose the school I’m going to attend,” she announced proudly. He stood there, knowing he had been waiting for this day. He would have gone anywhere she had decided. “University of Alaska.”

He nearly choked on the pizza he was eating. “Alaska?” he asked, snickering. “Could you have gotten any colder?” He was being serious, but a part of him was excited about the new adventure. He had never been to Alaska before.

She shrugged. “It has the best program for Wildlife Preservation.”

He cringed. “I know, but Alaska...” He shivered. “I get cold just thinking about it.”

She rolled her eyes. “What does it matter to you? It’s not like you’re going. I’m the one going.”

He couldn’t believe she didn’t know he had every intention of following her. Even if they both swore they would never be anything more than friends, he still wanted to be near her. She was the one person that understood him and he didn’t want to give that up. “You’re not planning on going alone, are you?” he asked with a slight hesitation.

“Well, I thought it’s the way things usually worked. When you go away to college, it tends to mean you’re going away from everything that’s familiar, to expand your horizons and get out of your comfort zone.” She paused. “Doesn’t it?”

He laughed. “Usually, but we don’t have a usual relationship. I have every intention of tagging along. Unless, you would rather I didn’t. You might think it could hinder your chances of meeting someone, if they think there’s something going on between us.”

She playfully pushed him and started laughing. “Like I have ever worried about that before.” She stood there, with a smile crossing her lips. Her blue eyes were shining and her long, wavy brown hair was pulled into an over the shoulder ponytail. “I can’t even imagine what it would be like without you there.” She threw her arms around him and he held her close. He could feel her breath against his skin. The smell of jasmine in the perfume she was wearing was refreshing. “I would love for us to go together.”

He was plucked back to the graduation ceremony just as the audience was standing to their feet to applaud the entire graduating class. He stood up and joined in. He was so proud of her. As they filed out of the auditorium, he looked around for her. She found him first and greeted him with a smile and warm hug. “You did it,” he said, trying to push away all the negativity he was feeling about himself.

She pulled back, still holding on to her smile. “Now, it’s your turn next. Are you ready to go home?”

He looked around the auditorium of their campus, knowing he would be back. “I’m ready.” He looped his arm through hers and they headed out of the building. They were packed and ready to go back to Washington State. With her support, he would be able to make both their dreams a reality.

––––––––

T
ara said goodbye to Kevin and walked into her parents’ home. They had flown back home to Washington State and shipped most of their things beforehand. Kevin had helped her take some of her bags from the airport taxi to the garage, and brought the rest of her bags to the porch. She waved from the porch stair as he left in the taxi.

She was alone to face her mother, which was how she wanted it. Things had been strained between them since her father’s death last year. Tara’s mother had become more withdrawn since her dad had passed away and Tara suspected she might be suffering from depression.

What Tara didn’t understand was why her mom had become so cold and distant– she missed her dad terribly. Losing him had been brutal, and all the more difficult adjustment as he died when she was away at college. She and her father had been close and she missed their weekly phone calls. She missed knowing he was there to call any time she needed him. Her mother’s attitude toward her changed almost overnight– it was almost as though she blamed Tara for his death– and that came as an additional shock.  She sometimes felt as though she’d lost both her parents when her dad died.

Tara looked around the foyer as she walked inside. It brought back old, fond memories. She remembered her dad rushing up from his favorite chair when she had come home for the summer two years ago.

“Hello?” she called out.

After several minutes, she heard footsteps, and her mother entered from the living room. “Hi Tara, I didn’t know you were going to be here.” Her mom kissed her on the cheek.

“Yeah, after graduation I figured I would stay at home until I go back.”

“Go back?” she asked, tilting her head in confusion. “Once you graduate, don’t you go forward?”

Tara rolled her eyes, but looked away from her mother’s expectant gaze. She had been practicing this conversation ever since she made the decision to take the year off with Kevin. She wondered why her mom would even care, when she didn’t even bother coming to her graduation.

“I decided to take a year off before going to Montana.” Her mom stared at her, not saying a word, so she continued, “I have a lot I want to do and I feel a year would do me some good.”

She didn’t feel she could tell the truth, but she had to admit, the excuse she gave sounded lame.

“Oh...” her mother said slowly. “So, are you staying home until you discover yourself?” she asked, a deep sarcasm etched in her voice.

“I’ll try not to stay any longer than I have to, Mom,” Tara replied. “I-I have some boxes to grab from outside,” she mumbled, turning on her heel to leave the house. She stood on the porch, fighting every urge to run to her car and drive away. She grabbed the boxes from the porch and brought them into the house. Her mother had already disappeared back to the living room. She sighed, heading up the stairs and going to her old room.  She was glad she only had her mother to handle. Kevin had his parents and his brother. She hoped he was doing better than she was.

***

K
evin tried the doorknob, only to find the door was locked. He had searched to find his old house key but had no luck. He had to knock. He knocked once and then twice, before trying a third time. Finally, on the third attempt, he heard footsteps. His father answered the door.

His dad’s face revealed a mixture of emotions. It was a relief when he put out his hand for Kevin to shake it.

“Hello, son. This is a surprise.”

Kevin entered the house.

“What are you doing here?” his dad asked.

“Can’t a guy come home without a lot of questions?” he asked, hoping it didn’t come across as rude. He let out a breath and tried to put a smile on his lips. “I have had a couple of crazy weeks,” he replied, using it as an excuse. He looked around. “Where’s Mom and Jake?”

“Your mother went to the grocery store and Jake...well who knows where he is.”

Kevin frowned at the last comment, but he wasn’t surprised. The family all believed his eighteen-year-old brother had Schizophrenia and from some of the stories, it was possible. There was some embarrassment about discussing his condition, and it seemed like his parents preferred to act like Jake was fine. To Kevin, Jake was his brother, so he hoped for the best and was committed to being there for him whenever he could.

“Do you mind if I stay here in my old room?” Kevin asked, looking around the room and reliving some of his memories of running down the hall for all manner of reasons.

“For how long?” his dad asked.

Kevin shrugged. “Until I can find another alternative.” He wanted to argue that it shouldn’t matter if he was there or not. After all, he was sure his parents could go about their everyday activities even if he was there. It never bothered them before.

His dad raised his eyebrow. “Do you need to tell me something?”

Kevin shook his head slowly.

“Aren’t you going to Montana this fall?” He asked.

Kevin knew eventually it would all come out anyway. “I won’t be going to Montana,” he replied. “Not for at least another year.”

He grimaced at the thought of telling the whole truth, so he just blurted it out.

“Look, Dad. I flunked a class and have to retake it next semester.”

There was a long pause. “Say something, dad,” Kevin said.

“I’m speechless. Was it because you spent a lot of time partying?” his dad finally asked him.

Kevin’s jaw dropped. “What? No...I studied, but apparently it wasn’t enough. I don’t know what happened, but this summer I’m going to spend studying and when I retake the course...I’ll work harder.” He wanted it to be true, but there were no guarantees.

“Well, good luck with that.” The snide remark from his dad did not help.

He didn’t expect much support, but he also didn’t expect that after a year of not seeing each other, his dad would be so distant and unwelcoming. He just hoped things between his mom and brother would be better. He didn’t know how much of it he could take.

***

K
evin and Tara immediately got down to studying so he could be ready to pass the course with flying colors the next time. That way, they could go back to their original plan. Their study sessions were also a way to find an escape. They found various places to study, from her place to his, to the local diner and the library. They changed it up a lot.

Tara’s favorite place to help him study was at her place. Most of the time, it was just the two of them and no interruptions. That evening, Kevin was due to arrive for another study session at her house. As she waited, she flopped down on the couch and watched the local news.

She perked up. She had worked at Richard’s Bakery when she was a junior in high school.

Tara heard the doorbell, so she muted the television and moved briskly to open the door.

“Hello,” Kevin said as he walked in.

“Hey.” She locked the door and turned back to him.

She noticed him glancing around the house, and figured she knew who he was looking for.

“We’re alone. My mom had some kind of meeting tonight. She said she’d probably be late.”

He sighed. “That’s not what I was looking for.”

“Sure it wasn’t,” she laughed.

They went into the living room and Tara picked up the remote control to shut the television off. The recent murder was still fresh on her mind.

“Did you hear about the body they found in the dumpster at Richard’s Bakery?”

“Yeah. It’s the second death,” Kevin answered. He put his books down and sat down on the couch. “It’s unusual for this small town.”

Tara shook her head and sat next to him. “It’s sad this place has come to this. I never thought our little town would be plagued with big city news like that.”

Kevin nodded with agreement. He opened his book and hesitated before flipping to the chapter they had planned to work on that week. He looked up and met her stare. “I just want to thank you again for what you did, Tara,” he started. “And for all your help. I still don’t believe you’d wait a year for me like that. And I still don’t know if you did the right thing. But I’m grateful. I couldn’t do this studying for a retake without you.”

She smiled, “You don’t need to keep thanking me. Besides, it lets me catch up on my knitting.” She laughed as she picked up her next project. She was working on another winter hat.

“Taking some time off will allow me to clear my head and get some things done.” She meant what she said. She really was enjoying the much needed rest.

“Okay,” he answered.

“I’ve been thinking lately,” Tara looked up from her knitting.

“About what?” he asked.

“Well...I really would like to get out of here. With dad gone, my mom’s here alone and still, she acts like I’m not welcome. I never understood why she started treating me this way. In any case, I was thinking about finding a part-time job. I could save up some money for next year when we move to Montana, and use some of it to look for my own place.”

“It might not be such a bad idea,” he replied, agreeing with her. “My folks are being the same way, which makes no sense as Jake is still at home. I could use some extra money too.”

She smiled. “Well, then let’s make it our mission to find a summer job.” She thought about it and got excited, “We’re still ahead of the high school students, so we have a good chance of finding work. Maybe we could even find something that’ll look good on our resumes for the future.” She pointed to his books, “For now...let’s get you back to studying.”

He flipped the pages to the next chapter and they began to work. She knitted while he read and took notes on index cards. It was easy and their study routine was forming. Everything was going well.

***

T
ara held up another notecard and he rattled off the information on the animal or topic. Kevin was getting quicker in his retention and response time. His confidence was growing too. He knew he could get through the exam with better results the second time around.

“How about this one?” she said through a yawn.

He chuckled. “It’s a bandicoot. A marsupial. Mainly found in Australia. It’s a nocturnal animal and during the daytime it seeks out shelter in bush land areas.”