Burnt (17 page)

His words were harsh. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her approaching him. She put her hand up on his shoulder, forcing him to look at her.

“I’m sorry, Kevin.” She hesitated. A hint of tears were shining in her eyes. “We’ll get past this, right?”

He nodded slightly, but only to get her to leave. If Tara had doubts, there was no place for her near the Crawford family.

“I’ll call you later,” he lied.

She removed her hand from his shoulder and walked out the door. Kevin looked at her as she got into her car. Their eyes met before he shut the door. As much as he hated to see her go, he had no regrets about taking his stand for Jake.

***

J
ake hid behind the bush as Tara left his house. His eyes followed her to her car and when she got in, he admired her long legs. He watched her intently. Tara was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He groaned as she drove out of the driveway. He would have given anything to follow her, but he needed to wait.

Kevin and Tara’s fight was exactly what Jake had hoped for. He wanted Tara to see that his brother wasn’t the man for her and Jake would do anything to get Tara to believe it. He turned back to the living room window where Kevin sat, looking like he was in agony over their fight. Jake felt relief, but a wave of guilt temporarily overcame him. He shouldn’t be this excited when Kevin was clearly distressed.

Jake stepped back from the window. He needed to work on his next step to reach Tara’s heart.
She cares about me,
he thought.
Why else would she have lied for me?
A strange peace fell over him at the notion. A smile crept up Jake’s face as he moved away from the window. Everything was going as planned and he was one step closer to having Tara Matthews for himself.

––––––––

T
ime marched on. It was torture for Tara. She and Kevin weren’t speaking to each other. She glanced at the phone one more time and read his last text.

Kevin: I have been doing some thinking and I feel we need take a break for a while.

She tossed her phone to the side. That was all he wrote. The message was from a week ago. Even when she attempted to talk to him at work, he would walk away. They were in turmoil was because she voiced her concerns about Jake. She wanted to put everything out there, but now that she had, she lost what mattered most to her.

She reached out and grabbed her phone again, quickly dialing up his number. It went straight to voicemail.

“Hey, you have reached Kevin. Please leave a short message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you for calling.”

She took a deep breath and started talking.

“Hey, Kevin. It’s me...again. I know you have been ignoring me and I understand why, but I really want to talk to you. Please...please, call me back. Otherwise, I’ll see you soon at work and hope you’ll talk then. I love you. Talk to you soon.”

She hung up the call and stared at her phone.

“Please...just call me.”

She went to work the next day and he wasn’t there. There schedules seemed to be different lately.  She spent a week waiting for him to call her back, and three days hoping he’s give her the time of day at work. Kevin was taking it to a whole new level.

At the end of the third day and having no answers, she went into one of her boss’ office. Zoe looked up and gave her a smile. “Hello, Tara.” She turned away from her computer. “Something on your mind?”

Tara nodded. “I was wondering, can you tell me when Kevin will be at work next?”

“Oh...” She frowned. “I just assumed you knew. Kevin took a couple of weeks off. He said he had some family issues to deal with and he also had a major test he needed to study for. So, he won’t be back until the middle of October.”

“I had no idea,” Tara replied, feeling sorry she wasn’t able to be there for him, or to help him study. She missed him dearly, but didn’t regret being honest with him. How could he hate her for being true to herself?

“I guess I’ll have to stop by his place. Thanks Zoe.”

“Sure thing,” she answered. “Have a good day off tomorrow.”

Tara left the office and headed outside. She got in her car and sat there thinking. She had two options. She could either go home and sulk, or stop by his house and hope she could get him to talk to her. As she started the car, there was only one option. She missed him and no matter what the outcome was, she needed him to hear her out. She needed him.

***

“R
accoons are native to North and South America. They have a dexterity that some compare to apes. There are seven...” Kevin paused. “...Or is it six different species?” he groaned, looking down at his book. “Shit. It’s six. Why can’t I remember this?” he muttered, fumbling through his book and reading over the section. Studying wasn’t easy anymore. It was getting more difficult. He had been doing so well, but that was when Tara was around. Now, he was struggling to stay focused.

Kevin sighed and closed the book. It was no use. He had taken time off work for a few reasons. He was committed to spending the time studying, but made no progress now that Tara wasn’t helping him. He just needed more space.
Why, Tara, why?
He thought, still disappointed that she would suggest Jake had something to do with the murders... Thoughts flooded back to their last conversation, and the text he had sent her. It was the most difficult thing he had done. He contemplated calling her back after last few texts. It tormented him to ignore her voice messages. It would only complicate things further, so he didn’t.

“I need to stay motivated and push through this work,” he murmured, grabbing the book and opening it back up. He read through another page on North American animal life. He absentmindedly tapped his pencil as he read. His thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell.

Kevin waited for a minute, expecting Jake to get it. However, when it rang again, he got up. He glanced up the stairs and saw no sign of Jake coming down. He was surprised opened the door and saw Tara. She was the last person he was expecting to see. Why was he so relieved to see her?

“Hello Kevin,” she said before he could greet her. “Am I interrupting anything?”

He had to admit...she was determined. He did his best to not let on how badly he missed seeing her beautiful face.

“No,” he replied. He hesitated before opening the door enough to let her in.

She graciously accepted the subtle invitation.

“It’s getting colder out there.” She pulled her coat tighter around her body and entered the foyer. “What were you doing?”

“Just studying,” he replied. “How have you been?”

As much as he disliked what she said, he cared for her desperately, and needed to know she was alright.

She smiled, but it was strained. “It’s been okay right. I heard you’re taking some time off work.”

He nodded, but did not say anything else. She looked around the house.

“Anyone else home?” she asked.

“I think Jake’s upstairs. Haven’t heard him for a while though,” he replied with a stern look.

He wished he could show her how glad he was to see her.

“Oh...” she replied. Her body language stiffened up. “I don’t have to stay, I...”

Kevin didn’t like knowing it had come to this. One of his biggest fears if they ever got into a relationship was that things could get awkward if they ever had an argument. He saw the change first hand and it bothered him. It was worse because the reason for the argument was his own flesh and blood.

“You don’t have to run off. You obviously came here for a reason.”

“I did,” she admitted. She glanced toward the stairs and his eyes followed. “Can we sit down to talk?”

“Sure.” They headed into the living room, further away from the stairs, and took a seat on separate chairs.

The strain was palpable. Kevin hated how it made him feel.

“I just want to say I’m sorry things turned out the way they did,” Tara said. “I’ve done a lot of thinking and I do understand why you feel the way you do.”

He sighed. “We don’t have to agree on everything as a couple, but this is a pretty big thing.”

“I know,” she stated.

He wanted to grab her into his arms and hold her close to him, convince her everything would be all right, and just let fate take its course. He wanted love to be enough, but knew it was foolish to get caught up in his emotions.

“Where do we go from here?” she asked.

He silently thought about her question. He would have given anything to get her to believe that Jake was not a cold-hearted killer. Yet, she expressed her doubts, and he couldn’t force her to change her mind. He had an obligation to support his brother; and would defend him to the bitter end. A relationship with Tara would only jeopardize things. It wouldn’t have been good for either one of them...or, that’s what he kept telling himself.

“I can’t lose you as a friend, Tara” he finally stated. “I don’t want to lose you.”

She smiled. “I don’t want to lose you either. We’re best friends. Our friendship should never change.”

A rush of air escaped him. The thought of never holding her in his arms again caused a pain to shoot across his chest. She felt so right in his arms. He was sure they were meant to be. All the logic of staying at his brother’s side was momentarily cast aside, in favor of his Tara.

“Good,” he smiled, leaning in and kissing her cheek.

It was a sweet gesture, but sent his mind to places he shouldn’t go. Visions of the two of them making love surfaced and with her right beside him, he could barely control his growing erection. He noticed her looking over at his books scattered across the couch and on the floor in front of it.

“Want to help me study? It hasn’t been the same without you.”

She laughed. He embraced the sound of her laughter.

“I would like that.” She turned from him and headed over to the couch. It would to be like old times again. “What are you studying?”

“Right now, I was going over the raccoon.”

She scrunched up her nose.

“Interesting,” she said with a soft laugh. “Well, if that’s what you’re studying I guess we can’t do anything about it.”

He grabbed a book and sat down next to her. Tara passed him the book so he could get back to making notes, and she went over the summaries he had written on index cards, just like he had done with her before. They were so engrossed in reading that neither one of them noticed Jake entering the room. Kevin wasn’t sure what caused him to look up. There was a subtle sound of shuffling feet, and Jake may have dropped a book on the floor. They looked up at Jake in synchrony.

“Sorry,” Jake mumbled. He turned to Tara and nodded. “Good to see you again, Tara.”

Kevin saw Tara smile when she answered. “Good to see you too, Jake.”

He was happy to see there wasn’t tension between them. She certainly didn’t look scared that something bad would happen around him.

“I won’t bug you. I was just coming in for another book to read,” Jake offered, stepping up to the bookcases.

He turned and smiled at them after he pulled one from the top shelf.

“See you both later.”

“See you later, Jake,” Tara answered.

Kevin turned to Tara when Jake left the room.

“So where were we?” They went back to studying and it was like nothing had happened over the last week. The only difference was he felt Tara would be better off if they were just friends. He would have to try and make it work.

***

T
ara thought things might be awkward between the two of them. However, it was the opposite. For a while, they easily went back to being friends as if nothing had ever happened between them. She had only slipped up a couple of times, almost kissing him some nights before she left after their study sessions. It was a habit they had to break quickly.

Kevin came back to work. His high grades were still intact, and even Jake started hanging around more often. At first, she didn’t know how comfortable she would be with it, but slowly found it wasn’t that bad. She felt bad she could ever have had any doubts about him.

Jake had never struck her as being the type of person you should be afraid of. His Schizophrenia diagnosis was not something that invoked any fear in her. Jake was always just Kevin’s little brother and not someone dangerous. Still, she didn’t discuss it with Kevin. Her sudden epiphany probably wouldn’t sit well with him.

The police didn’t announce any more suspects either. At least, not publicly. There were also no reports of new murders in a couple of weeks. It felt like things were getting back to how it was before. She hoped the chaos and tragedy were over. She looked forward to the next few days. The coming Halloween revelry would take her mind off everything.

***

H
alloween came quickly. That evening, Tara raced home from work. She would wear a costume to entertain any trick-or-treaters who came to their door. As she hurried into the house, she spotted a folded piece of paper sticking out the door. She grabbed it and went inside, assuming it was from her mother. She quickly climbed up the steps, taking two at a time to get to her bedroom.

Tara had been so excited that morning that she laid out the Cinderella costume she planned to wear that night. She put down the note and grabbed her costume. The note could wait. Halloween was the holiday she enjoyed the most. She never missed a chance to get dressed up and act like a kid again. She thought back to all the wild costume parties she would attend during her college days. As she was back home this year, she didn’t get invited to any. Passing out candy was the next best thing.

She quickly dressed in her costume and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She wrapped a blue bow around her hair and glanced at her reflection in the mirror. She felt like a kid again, all dressed up. She loved it. She applied a bit of makeup in the bathroom, and went back to the full length mirror in her room.
Gosh, I look like a dork
, she thought, and twirled around to admire the blue dress on her.

Tara was about to leave her room when her eyes went to the note. She had nearly forgotten about it. She grabbed the piece of paper and took it with her downstairs. She walked back down the stairs, made sure all the candy was ready, and walked over to relax on the living room couch. It had been a pretty busy day at work and she could have just crashed on the sofa and watch TV. Except it was Halloween. It was exciting for her. Adrenaline pumped through her veins on Halloween. She sat on the couch and opened the note to start reading. It was not from her mom.