Burning Down the House (23 page)

It was a long time before either of us spoke. Maybe neither of us knew what to say; maybe it was just that there was nothing else that needed
saying. I rested in his arms with my head on his shoulder, wondering how it was conceivable to feel so strongly attuned to another human being. And what it could possibly be that he saw in me. He said he loved me. Not the beautiful red-haired homecoming queen, not the cougar from the library - he loved average, ordinary, unremarkable me. If I’d curled up and died right then and there, I would have shed this mortal coil as one perfectly fulfilled girl.

The first words out of his mouth were, “Dear God, that was amazing.”

“Yes. It. Was.”

“I don’t just mean the sex. It
’s so much more than that with you.”

I sighed happily, snuggling into him. The arm
that was wound protectively around me squeezed gently.

“I was sorry when you moved away,” he confessed.

“Liar,” I laughed. “You know you couldn’t stand me.”

“I thought you were a spoiled
little snot, true. But I missed seeing you around.”

“
Oh, come on…you’re just saying that.”

“
No, really. I used to watch you sometimes. Laughing and cutting up with your friends. You always seemed so happy. It bugged the crap out of me, but then you were gone and that bugged me even more. It was like the only window in my prison cell had been boarded up. I was still locked away, but I couldn’t even see the beauty outside anymore.”

I traced his pecs with a finger
tip. “I wish I’d known. You should have told someone, Rob. I mean, someone who didn’t have their head up their own ass like Mrs. Higgins obviously did.”

“I guess. Hindsight’s
20/20. Little late for regrets now.” He brushed his lips against my forehead. “Would you like me to tell you a story, little girl?”

“
I’d love to hear a story. As long as you promise not to put Cookie Monster in it. I get enough of that at Peyton’s house.” You’d think her parents could lighten up enough to let her watch something besides educational programs once in a while. A few episodes of Adventure Time wasn’t going to warp the kid.

“Well, there is a monster in it. It’s kind of a scary story.
Are you sure you want to hear it?”

“
I like scary stories. Tell it to me…” I begged.

“I don’t know. It might freak you out.”

I lifted my chin to look up at him. “Please. Nothing freaks me out.”

“Oh, that’s righ
t. I forgot you were the one who called Jason Voorhees a pussy-whipped mama’s boy.”

“Just sayin’…he
’d probably get his ass handed to him if he didn’t have that machete. Anybody can be a badass if they’re carrying around a machete.”

“
Now that’s interesting.”

“What is?”

“I remember you laughing through the whole
Evil Dead
movie the other night.”

“So?”

“And yet you were sent fleeing from your room by a falling tree branch.”

“Oh, shut up
…” I poked him in the side with my index finger. He didn’t even flinch.

“All right then. You ready?”

“Ready.”

“Okay. Once upon a time
…there was a beautiful little princess. She lived in a great big castle with her parents, the king and queen. Life was good and they were all very happy until one day the king got run over by a stampeding herd of wild camels. The queen and the princess were both very sad but what can you do, shit happens. They continued to live together in the castle for a while and it wasn’t long before the queen became lonely. So she went online to a royal dating site where she met a handsome and charming baron and soon she remarried.”

“What country did they live in?” I wanted to know.

“Hell, I don’t know…Bulgaria?”

“Oh. Okay.”

“There was just one problem with this arrangement. The queen’s new husband was actually an evil monster in disguise. And unfortunately, the only person who was able to see this was the young princess.”

“How could she see it when no one else could?”

“Because he revealed himself to her one day. When she was twelve years old, the monster came to her and showed her his true form. And he swore that if she ever told anyone he would hurt not only her, but her mother. He told her that nobody would ever believe her story anyway. So she kept his identity a secret. When they were alone together, he was the evil monster. In the presence of everyone else, he was the kind and loving husband and stepfather.”

I didn’t think I liked where this story was going, but I said nothing and let him continue.

“Over the years the princess blossomed into a fair young lady. And when she was seventeen, she fell in love. But the man she loved was older than her and the queen did not see him as a suitable match for her daughter. One day they had a terrible argument and the princess, in her anger, told the queen that she had no knowledge of such matters since she herself had been foolish enough to marry a monster.

“The queen was
outraged and she banished the princess from the castle never to return. You see, it was just as the monster had warned her - not even her own mother would believe such a tale. So she left with her lover and they were married right away. And eight months later she gave birth to a son.

“The child’s father was
overjoyed because a son was exactly what he’d been hoping for, and for a number of years they were all as happy as could be. And the story should have ended there. But it didn’t. Because something unforeseen was happening. The child was changing. His light hair grew darker and his dark eyes grew lighter and to the horror of his parents, his features slowly began to take on those of the monster.

“
They tried to deny it for as long as possible, but eventually it became clear to both of them that this was the offspring of something despicable. In public, of course, they pretended all was well. They were respected members of their community and wanted no one to ever discover the truth. The father grew to despise it. In the privacy of their home, he stopped calling the thing by its given name and instead referred to it as the filthy little bastard. He showed his hatred by constantly berating it and sometimes by physically hurting it.

“
The mother demonstrated her cruelty in a somewhat different way. Although she still fulfilled her duty by providing the creature with food and clothing and whatever necessities it required, she never again showed it love or even compassion. When her beloved husband no longer cared for the child, then she had no use for it either. And its face was a constant reminder of the monster who had spent years tormenting her.

“
The creature itself had no understanding of what was happening. It didn’t know why it had become unwanted. So it lived in desolation until one day the mother, in a rare show of sympathy, revealed to the child its sordid history. And so the story ends there. The father and mother were never able to conceive the child they really wanted, so the evil monster’s spawn was all they had and they were cursed with it until the day they died.”

His voice grew quiet and for a time I could think of nothing to say
, even if the tightness in my throat would have allowed it. He was right. It was the scariest story I’d ever heard, and what made it that way was the fact that it wasn’t fiction. This was no fairy tale. It was his own life. And it was truly heartbreaking. I blinked, and a tear trickled down to fall on his bare chest.

Feeling it, he brushed my cheek
with his knuckles. “Oh, baby, don’t cry. The sequel to the story has a happy ending.”

“
It does?” I sniffled.

“Of course it
does. You should know - you wrote it.” With his fingers, he lifted my chin to gently kiss me.

“I love you,” I whispered through my tears.

“You don’t think any less of me?”

“How can you say that? I could never think less of you.”

He burst out laughing at my poor choice of words, and even though I tried not to I eventually had to laugh too.

“Okay - that
really
didn’t come out right.”

“
You’re so funny,” he said affectionately.

I propped myself up on one elbow. “So
your biological father was actually your
grandfather?
”

“Step-grandfather
, technically. But, yes.”

“And that’s why your dad acted the way he did.”

“That’s why.”

“I’m assuming your biological grandfather wasn’t really run over by
a herd of wild camels.”

“No
, actually he died of lung cancer from smoking like a chimney. See what I did with the metaphor there?”

“I can’t believe your mother
didn’t at least
try
to protect you. I mean, even considering the circumstances…so then she was being molested right up until the time she left home?”

“I think
at that point ‘raped’ would be a more accurate term for it.”

“Did your
…did Buck know about all that when he married her?”

“He knew she’d been sexually abused when she was younger, but not that it was still going on
while they were dating. She didn’t confess that until later. I think he would’ve killed the man if he knew where to find him. By that time her parents had sold their house and moved to another state. They didn’t want anything to do with my mom. According to her, my grandmother always believed her story was just a malicious lie. Or maybe deep down she knew and didn’t have the balls to face it.”

“
Dad said you tried to contact them once.”

“Yeah, a couple of years ago.
It’s not that hard to track someone down if you know how.
He
answered the phone and as soon as I told the fucker who I was, he hung up on me. So I just let it go. I tried again to contact them after the fire but the same thing happened. I wound up mailing them a copy of the obituary. I was tempted to write a message on it, something like
I hope you both rot in hell
, but in the end I figured what was the point, they obviously didn’t give a flying fuck what I thought.”

“I hope they do rot in hell
, both of them!” I erupted angrily. “I hope they’re suffering right now! How could they be so cruel? I can’t even…I can’t…” My tongue was tied in disbelief that his entire family could be such soulless, heartless brutes. He’d been abused and forsaken by the people who should have loved him most. The very ones who were supposed to protect him. It was sickening. Inconceivably sickening.

“Shh
, baby…it doesn’t matter anymore. I didn’t tell you that story to upset you. I just wanted you to know what you were getting into with me. I needed you to know the truth about where I come from. Who I am.”

“Where you come from doesn’t make you who you are!” I objected.

“Now you sound like my therapist,” he chuckled.

“You told him all this? And he didn’t say anything to my dad?”

“By the time I saw Dr. Saunders I wasn’t a minor anymore. Besides, there’s such a thing as doctor-patient confidentiality.” He squeezed me gently. “Not quite as sacred as boyfriend-girlfriend confidentiality, but almost.”

“I won’t tell
my dad anything you don’t want me to. But I still don’t see why you’d want to keep it from him.”

“What good would it do, other than to hurt him? The past can’t be changed. Better to just
let it go. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life looking behind me. I’d rather spend it looking at…more appealing scenery.” His fingers traced a leisurely line from my lips down my chin and neck until he reached my belly. “Like you.”

“Am I the only person who knows all this?
Besides Dr. Saunders.”

“Yep. Just you.
Let’s keep it that way, all right?”

“
You can trust me.”

“I hope so. I really hope so…”

“Rob…”

“Hm?”

“Thank you for telling me.”

“Thank you for listening.”

19

“What are we supposed to bring to Gran’s on Thursday?”

Dad looked at me
as if I’d just asked him where we keep the napalm. “There’s already going to be enough food there to feed the Army, Navy and possibly the Air Force. I don’t think we need to bring more.”

“
Are you kidding me? Dad, we can’t just show up empty-handed, even if we are family! That’s so rude.” Men. No concept of etiquette - jeez.

“Well…I don’t know, ladybug. Why don’t you shoot her an email and see if there’s anything she wants us to bring.”

“Botulism, anyone?” Rob muttered from his position sprawled out across the sofa.

“Oh, shut up. I didn’t see you complaining when you were inhaling the meatloaf I made last night.”

“I didn’t complain. My stomach did. All night.”

“
You are so full of crap!”

“Not anymore, I’m not.”

“Gross! Keep your plumbing issues to yourself, please!”

“He’s just trying to get a rise out of you.” Dad looked up at me with a
smirk. “And you fall for it every time.”

“Can we leave
him
at Gran’s?” I complained. It was too bad Mr. Clarke couldn’t see me now. I’d get an A+ for my brilliant acting.

Rob
nudged me with a foot. “Make yourself useful. Go get me a Coke.”

“Do I look like your servant? Get
your lazy butt up and get it yourself.”

“I worked all day.”

“So? I babysat Peyton all afternoon. You don’t see me whining about it.”

“Are you working tomorrow?” My dad interrupted our sparring. “
Is the tree lot open on Sundays?”

“Yes sir, until five.”

“Why don’t you go ahead and pick one out for us. We can decorate it on Friday since I have the week off.”

“Sure, I could do that.
What size do you want?”

Dad
tilted his head and studied the ceiling. “About nine feet?”

“Okay.
I’ll tag a really nice one for us.”

“How much are they?”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of it.”

“No, son
- you need to save your money. Actually…they take credit, right? You can just put it on the card I gave you.”

“You gave him a credit card? Are you nuts?”
I propped my hands on my hips and assumed Peyton’s favorite pose.

“I still don’t have a Coke,”
Rob reminded me, trying not to smile.

“You don’t have any manners, either
!”

“A glass of tea will do, if we’re out of Coke.”

“
Ugh!
” I stomped off dramatically and went to my room to email Gran. It was already ten, so I probably wouldn’t hear back from her tonight. After that I read a message from my mom and responded to it before texting Dana to see what she was up to. Once I was done chatting with her, I went into the bathroom to scrounge around for a bottle of nail polish. By the time I returned to the living room, Rob had dozed off on the couch and my dad was watching Saturday Night Live. Seating myself on the floor in front of the coffee table, I neatly coated my nails with Fiji Pearl blue. It looked more like a metallic silvery-gray to me, but whatever.

While waiting for my nails to dry, I glanced
over my shoulder at Rob’s sleeping form and noticed that one of his hands was hanging off the side of the couch. Oh, this was far too good an opportunity to pass up. Pressing my lips together to stifle a giggle, I began lightly brushing Fiji Pearl on his blunt nails. From his recliner, Dad saw what I was doing and shook his head with a broad smile. “You’re asking for it,” he quietly warned me.

I just
shot him a naughty grin and continued, finishing the job quickly before Rob could wake up. This would be a lot funnier if it dried before he noticed.

“Dad?”

“Hm?”

“If
Rob gets into FSU, is he gonna keep staying on here?”

“Well…yes, if he
decides to, I don’t have a problem with that. Why? You don’t want him to?”

I shrugged, pretending not to care
one way or the other. “No, it doesn’t bother me. I was just wondering.”

“I think you just like having someone around to torture.”

“It is fun,” I admitted.

“He
really has opened up a lot since the accident,” Dad commented. “I think it’s done him a world of good, being here. I get the feeling his home life wasn’t the best to begin with.”

“What makes you say that?” I tried not to let him see that he’d startled me with his insight. Did he know more than he was letting on?

“I don’t know. Just a hunch.”

Behind me,
Rob stirred awake and pulled himself upright, yawning widely. “Oh, man…I should get to bed. I’m tired.”

Exchanging
covert looks with my father, I smothered my mouth with a hand and erupted into muffled giggles. Dad held the remote in front of his face to hide his smile.

“What’s so funny?”
Rob wanted to know.

“You’ll find out!”
My eyes strayed to his hand and he followed my gaze.

“
What the…? Oh. You suck.” He shook his head with a deep sigh, and I laughed even harder. “Okay, real cute. Where’s the nail polish remover?”

“I think we’re out,” I lied
merrily.

“Yeah, right.” He stood up.

“No, wait - it looks pretty on you! Don’t you think it looks pretty, Dad?”

“Leave me out of this,” he
chuckled, holding up his hands defensively.

“You have some in your bathroom, don’t you?”
Rob headed for my room.

“
Noooo!
I don’t have any, I swear!” I took off after him, and he started running to escape me. Once I caught up to him in my bedroom, I leaped onto his back and wrestled him to the floor, still laughing.

Flipping me
over, he pinned me down with a grin. “You little hellion.”

“What? You used to like painting your nails. Remember?”

He silenced my teasing with a kiss. “Mm…you gonna miss me tonight?”

“
Nope. Not one bit.”

“Bullshit.”

“Did you really hate my meatloaf?”

He pretended to
mull it over. “Hm…after I drowned it in ketchup, it was…
almost
edible. If I swallowed it without chewing.”

“I guess if it was actually edible you’d have
had four helpings instead of just three, right?”

“I love your meatloaf…”
Kiss.
“I love those disgusting pumpkin muffins you made…”
Kiss.
“And I love you.”
Kiss.

“I’m still not telling you where the nail polish remover is.”

“I don’t care. I wear gloves at work anyway.”

“Oh…you’re no fun.”

“Excuse me? You wanna say that again?” His fingers pressed against my ribs threateningly, preparing to begin tickling.

“
Agghh
…I take it back, I take it back!”

“Say,
‘Rob Kensington is the funnest and sexiest guy in the whole world.’”

“‘
Funnest’ isn’t even a word,” I informed him, then shrieked when his fingers gouged into my side. “Okay, okay! Rob Kensington is the funnest and sexiest guy in the whole world.”

“Say,
‘I am his faithful servant and will gladly do whatever he commands because he is so awesome.’”

“I am his faithful servant,
not
, and will gladly kick him in the nads if he doesn’t get his awesome self up off of me.”

“
Now, Saralou…you wouldn’t really do that to me, would you?” he purred in a low voice.

“No,” I admitted. “But you should
probably get out of here before my dad starts wondering what we’re doing.”

“True
that.” With one last, lingering smooch he hopped up and pulled me to my feet. “You listen to that playlist I sent you yet?”

“Most of it. I had it playing last night when I fell asleep.”

“Pay special attention to the last song. It reminds me of you.” Enveloping me in his strong arms, he hugged me tightly. “’Night, baby.”

“
Good night.”

I
drifted off to sleep about an hour later with the lyrics to Candlelight Red’s
Feel the Same
swirling gracefully through my head.

“If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this: my lips, two…two, um…uh
hh…”

“
Blushing pilgrims,
” I hissed through my teeth. I was getting sick and tired of feeding Riley his lines. By now I knew his part as well as my own.

Red
-faced and with zero patience left, Mr. Clarke slammed his fist down on the rickety wooden table in front of him. It wobbled precariously. “Mr. Murphy! Did you or did you
not
promise me that you would have those lines memorized front to back by this week?
Why
are you still stumbling?
What
is the problem here?”

“Sorry.”
Riley seemed unfazed by the outburst. “I pretty much know them.”

“You
pretty much
know them? Well, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but pretty much isn’t going to cut it! We have less than two weeks left - if you’re unable to hold up your end, then mister, I need to know right now!”

“It’s all good
, I got it covered,” Riley calmly assured him. From across the room, Dana caught my eye and made a gagging motion with her finger.

“You got it covered.” Sighing,
Mr. Clarke raked a frustrated hand through what was left of his thinning hair. “Yes, we can all see how well you’ve got it covered. Very well then. Let’s see how you cover this. You have until Wednesday. Day after tomorrow. That’s it. If you don’t know every last word by then, I’ll need to go ahead and replace you with Brady so he can use Thanksgiving break to work on the part that
you
should have already had perfected. And you will receive a less than satisfactory grade. Have I made myself clear?”

“
Crystal.”

“
Miss Marsh.”

“Yes, sir?”
What the hell was he calling me out for? I hadn’t made a single mistake.

“Would you be able to stay after school
today and assist Mr. Murphy?”

Oh, balls.
“Um…well, I have dance class today. Until five.”

Another deep sigh. “I hate to infringe upon your personal time, but it might be
beneficial if you and Mr. Murphy could rehearse your lines together for a few extra hours if at all possible. We’re getting down to the wire here.”

“I’m free tonight, if you want to get together
afterwards,” Riley offered with the vaguest trace of a smile. “I’d be happy to work around your schedule.”