Burned Hearts (26 page)

I laughed. “Wait until you see what Rosa and Kyle have whipped up for dinner.”

Ethan went in the direction of the reception. I lingered in the foyer, awaiting our final guest. I should have had my own glass of eighteen-hundred-dollar champagne in-hand, because I was suddenly wracked with nervous anxiety.

How, exactly, did one break the kind of news I had to break to Mikaela Madsen?

Visions of her slapping me Joan Collins/
Dynasty
–style flashed in my mind. I could almost hear Mikaela saying—out of heart-wrenching agony because she couldn't accept the reality of my words—
How could you be so cruel, Ari? How could you blatantly lie to me about something that has tormented me for so long?

My throat tightened. She'd be right in the accusation, even though it'd never been my intention to keep this from her—it'd been a necessity. Imperative. Out of my hands.

Would she understand that?

I wrung my hands now as I paced the wide hallway, my tall black heels clicking on the heated stone floor. The elegant chandeliers lining the long corridor and vast entryway were on a low setting. The cut-crystal-and-glass adornments caught the light and cast glittery rays over the silvery-blue hue filling the house. There was a large fireplace in the foyer, with roaring flames to take the edge off the autumn chill. The crackle lent a soothing quality.

Dane preferred gas fireplaces in every other room, but at the point of entry this wood-burning one created a very homey, inviting ambience to the otherwise expansive house. I wanted Mikaela to feel welcomed. I wanted her to understand that she hadn't been excluded from our clandestine efforts because she was any less important than the others in our circle. Circumstance alone had dictated who learned of Dane's existence. And when.

As I rationalized this in my mind, the vibrato chimes echoed in the hallway. I jumped, since I'd been deep in thought and the sound caught me off-guard. It wasn't a normal occurrence for people to come knocking on our door. We were set way back in the woods, along the creek, extremely difficult to find.

But everyone currently in the house had our gate code because they had reason to come and go from our inner sanctum. Mikaela would have that right now as well. Dane trusted her and so, too, did I.

I pulled open the door and was instantly enveloped in a rich aroma that nearly hypnotized me, except that Mikaela was so stunning, the sight of her overpowered the scent of her.

“Wow,” I said. “You take cocktail reception attire to all-new levels.”

“Ah, Ari.” She affectionately gave air-kisses to both cheeks. “Ciao,
bella
. Emerald is your color!”

“I'm pretty fond of it.” I ushered her in and carefully slipped the full-length fur coat from her shoulders. “That dress is sensational.” In fact, it looked straight out of
Dynasty
. That didn't bode well for me, did it? I'd streamed a few seasons, and the diamonds dripping from Mikaela backed up my assessment. Her gown was liquid gold, clingy with strategic cutouts. Heidi Klum herself couldn't have worn it better.

“Rosa always did like formal gatherings,” Mikaela mused in her Italian accent. I had yet to discern how she'd so quickly acquired it, since she'd been born and raised in Philadelphia, “next door” to Dane. According to my husband, that meant miles away, given the size of their respective estates.

“More like cocktail formal, but whatever. You're gorgeous.”

“So are you.” Her gaze slid over me. “You've lost weight.”

The last time she'd seen me, I'd been pregnant. Not noticeably pregnant, but definitely plump. I thought of how Dane had admired the curves and knew he preferred them to the stick figure I'd been when I'd thought he was dead and I couldn't keep anything down.

Thinking of that time made my brain churn with harrowing Lux thoughts and brought the anxiety back full force when it came to squaring up with Mikaela.

I asked, “Would you mind joining me in the study for a drink?”

“Of course not.” She beamed. But as we walked toward the center of the house, her vibrancy dimmed. “You know, I haven't been in Dane's home in years. Not since he broke ground on the Lux. He, Ethan, Qadir, and Nik celebrated. I happened to be in town and got to hear all of Dane's grandiose plans for the resort. See the schematics.”

A flicker of pain over her delicate features made my insides roil.

“I was so proud of him,” she continued, “for building his dream. And so happy that he never let anything hold him back. I'd always respected that about him.”

She dabbed at the corner of her eye with a French-manicured fingertip and that nearly made me burst into tears.

Oh, God.
How was I going to handle the big reveal in the most humane way, without her thinking I was some sort of monster for keeping Dane's existence from her?

I'd insisted I be the one to tell her. To share the news gently with her. If Dane just strutted into the room, all perfectly intact and hotter than ever, she'd likely hit the floor like a ton of bricks. I know I would have done the same the first time I saw him after the explosion, had I not figured out on my own that he was alive.

We couldn't just spring this on Mikaela. I had to ease her into the reality of the situation. Especially since she knew nothing of the Illuminati and Dane's role in the secret poli-econ society.

This would blow her mind, I knew.

So I headed straight for the wet bar and poured her a snifter of brandy. I handed over the Baccarat glass, steeling my nerves as she sipped.

It took me a few minutes to collect myself, but I finally said, “I'm so glad you came. But I guess you're wondering why
I'm
here. Why Rosa is hosting a reception at Dane's house.”

“I assume he left it to her. She's been quite dedicated to him and this place always seemed to suit her. I honestly can't imagine this house without Rosa in it.”

“Yes. That's true.”

We exchanged a look. One that suggested we were on the same page. Which made my gut clench. Because we really weren't.

I said, “Rosa has definitely been a significant person in his life. Dane didn't trust many others and—”

“Ari.” Mikaela's expression turned perplexed yet solemn. “Are you trying to soften me up for some reason?”

“I—um—
huh
.” Did she know what I was up to? Had she figured it all out?

I shook my head. Anyone could speculate that Dane was alive, wish it was so, feel a glimmer of hope. I'd done that myself. But until I'd seen him in reality, my wishful thinking had been simply that.

“Ari,” she said again. “I understand you worked for Dane and that you were close to him because of that association. We're nearing the anniversary of the devastation of the Lux and his death and, well, I think you and Rosa memorializing the effort he put into the launch of the resort is extremely thoughtful.”

I stared at her, taken aback. That was what she thought tonight was about?

Granted, she had no other ideas to go on. But we were still a couple months away from the observation of that horrific time of our lives. Not something I wanted to think about, though I had to admit that recognizing the tragedy would have been on my mind had Dane not survived—making Mikaela extremely astute in this situation.

I sucked down my small glass of water and set the tumbler on the massive table in the middle of the room. Then I snatched the receiver on the landline and hit a button for an internal number. Rosa picked up and I quietly asked her to bring Amsel to the study.

I turned back to a confused Mikaela.

“Truly, I do want to thank you for coming,” I said. “I'm sure it's not easy for you to be here, what with the memories and all that. Dane's entire presence permeates this house.”

“Yes, it does.”

“Beyond all the pleasantries,” I told her, “I'd like to share something with you. I couldn't do it over the phone.”

She finished her cocktail and returned both glasses to the wet bar. Then she told me, “Ari, I think I know what this is about.”

My brow rose. “You do?”

A soft laugh escaped her glossy lips. “Certainly. I saw how Dane looked at you when I came across both of you at El Rincon in Tlaquepaque. And then at the reception Anthony Delfino hosted for his daughter and her husband in Scottsdale.
That
time, Dane looked territorial. Like you were his. You have to know that's why I wanted to get better acquainted with you.”

I hadn't considered that, given the way she'd treated me initially. I'd operated on the assumption she was following the adage of keeping her friends close and her enemies closer. But I had to concede that I'd misjudged her from the get-go. Because I truly had been envious of her association with Dane. Especially the fact that she'd known him most of his life and likely was privy to secrets I previously wasn't.

The tables had turned significantly. Now I was the one holding all the cards. It wasn't a comfortable or even powerful position to be in when I felt the turmoil rage low in my belly.

Rosa came into the study with an animated Amsel in her arms. His little fists moved about as though he was rocking out to his own tune. He gurgled and gave a few half snorts. I seriously wished I could crawl inside his brain and figure out what amused him so. Perhaps he'd bypass his father's Harvard footsteps and go into stand-up comedy.

I took the baby from Rosa. She gave Mikaela a hug and they each said it was good to see the other. Then Rosa stepped out of the room to give us privacy. I pulled in a long breath to steel myself before I peeled away the blanket and the beanie from Amsel's head to show him off.

To show off the resemblance to Dane.

“Oh!” Mikaela actually jumped back a few inches, teetering slightly on her six-inch stilettos. “He's fantastic, Ari! And he looks just like—
oh
!” Her hand pressed to her chest, over her heart. Then she lifted it to her mouth as astonishment flitted in her eyes. Finally, her palm flattened over her left breast again. “I suspected there'd been something between you and Dane but I had no idea—”

“I know. We didn't really tell anyone. And when I discovered I was pregnant … I kept that an even bigger secret.” I hadn't told Ethan, Qadir, Nikolai, or Jackson in the beginning. My dad and Kyle had known because they'd been with me at the hospital following the explosion, when tests had revealed the unexpected condition.

“He's Dane's son,” Mikaela said in bewilderment. “I can't believe it. Except that he looks exactly like Dane when he was a baby. I've seen pictures. At the mansion in Philadelphia.”

“Would you like to hold him?” I offered.

She looked momentarily taken aback. I suspected it wasn't a normal occurrence for anyone to ask if she wanted a kid in her arms. I'd been the same way, until recently.

Recovering somewhat from her shock, she accepted Amsel and inspected him closely. Not poking at the baby in the way Chelsea had done at the retreat, but definitely curious about him, fascinated by him.

“His name is Amsel,” I said. “Apparently, it means ‘blackbird' in German.”

“Dane's father was German.”

“Yes. He's very proud of his heritage.”

Her gaze snapped from my child to me. Panic flashed through me. I'd just referred to Dane in present tense.

“Um, so, maybe I should take the baby,” I carefully insisted as I reached for Amsel. “Because I have more to tell you. In fact, you might want to sit down.”

Her gaze never left my face as she eased into a plush chair.

I pulled in a deep breath. Let it out slowly. Then plunged forward.

“Dane and I married last fall. The day after Thanksgiving, to be exact. Ethan, Amano, and Jackson were all present as witnesses. Guests. Whatever. We kept it covert because of the problems happening at the Lux and some complications with the original investors. Dane wanted to protect me. This was before I was pregnant and before the blast at the resort.”

Mikaela's sculpted brows furrowed. “I can't believe he didn't tell me. He didn't keep things from me as a rule. We were very close.”

“I understand. It was just a really tense time, a volatile time. It wasn't a trust issue, Mikaela. It was survival tactics. Nothing personal.”

“Sure. Right.” Though she didn't look convinced. And the hurt feelings were not only etched across her stunning features, they also laced her tone. I felt wretched.

“The thing is,” I forced myself to continue. “Life following the explosion has been insanely precarious.
Dangerous,
mostly.”

“I don't understand. Why? The Lux was destroyed. Dane was killed. What more could possibly have happened?”

“A lot.” I didn't have the heart to outline all of the insidiousness. As it was, I could see she struggled to make sense of what I shared with her. “Suffice it to say that Kyle—whom I'm sure you remember meeting when we visited your market in Old Town—has taken it upon himself to protect me and Amsel. As Amano did for Dane after Dane's parents died.”

“
Dio mio
. That's a horrible history to have repeated.”

“Yes. Except…” My stomach knotted. Here came the really tricky part of this tell-all. I squared my shoulders, looked her in the eye, and said, “There's a bit of a difference in the scenarios. A twist, if you will. A fortunate one, even.”

From her mystified expression, I could tell she had absolutely no idea what I was getting at, even with my earlier slip when referring to Dane.

I licked my gloss-covered lips out of nervous habit. She wouldn't strike me while holding a baby, I was sure of it. Yet I had no doubt she'd have an explosive reaction to my news. I wouldn't blame her.

“You see,” I began. “There was a lot of debris and confusion and chaos that night the lobby of the Lux went up in flames. Thankfully, I was the only employee hospitalized. Others were injured, but not as badly as me. Or Dane and Amano. Dane especially.” My eyes squeezed shut as I tried to block out the sight of him with angry, fresh scars and a severe limp. Even the gunshot wound of late flashed in my mind, the sight of all that blood making me instantly queasy.