Bungalow 2 (30 page)

Molly was waiting for her at Starbucks in the terminal, as promised, and they ran to catch the plane. They just made it, and were the last ones on. Tanya's cell phone rang just as she sat down on the plane. They hadn't made the announcement to turn cell phones off yet, so she answered it and was surprised to hear Douglas's voice.

“I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to talk today,” he said in the smooth, familiar voice that had new meaning. “I didn't want you to forget what I said last night, or to think it was the wine. I love you, Tanya. I have for a long time. Since last year in fact, but I knew you wouldn't be open to it. I didn't think this time would ever come for us. I think now it has.”

“I…I don't know what to say … I'm stunned …” And more than a little frightened. She didn't know if she was in love with him, but she felt very close to him. The thought of being involved with him had never crossed her mind. She'd had no idea whatsoever that he cared for her, and had never thought of him in that light.

“Don't be afraid, Tanya,” he said calmly, and she was aware of feeling safe with him again. “I think this could be the kind of marriage we both want. A powerful alliance between two interesting people who care about each other. Best friends with wedding rings, as you put it, when we talked about it a while back, in more general terms. That's what I want. I'd never wanted to marry again until I met you.” He was coming on fast and strong. “Give yourself time to get used to the idea.”

“I think I have to do that,” she said cautiously, feeling anxious again. She felt awkward talking to him, with her daughter in the next seat. She didn't want Molly to know what was going on. She needed time to get used to the idea herself first, before she said anything to them. She wasn't over Peter yet. But she felt drawn to Douglas more powerfully than she would have thought possible. And although it frightened her more than a little, she liked what he said. It did much to soothe her wounds of the past year.

“I'll call you over the weekend,” he promised. “Don't forget to ask the kids about the boat.”

“I won't … and Douglas … thank you for everything …I mean that …I just need a little time …” She said as they made the announcement to turn cell phones off. They were getting ready to pull away from the gate.

“I know you do. You can have all the time you need,” he said, sounding calm and in control.

“Thank you,” she said softly, wondering what incredible stroke of fate had dropped him into her lap. Maybe it would prove to be the greatest blessing of her life. She didn't know yet, but she suddenly hoped it would be. It would turn a tragic ending into a happy one after all. How perfect would that be? She said goodbye to Douglas and turned off her phone as Molly watched her.

“Who was that?” Molly asked with interest. She had been watching her mother's face.

“My boss,” Tanya laughed. “Douglas Wayne. He was calling about the script.”

“You looked weird. Do you like him a lot? Like a guy, I mean?” Out of the mouths of babes, Tanya thought, but didn't tell her what had happened, or what he'd said.

“Don't be silly. We're just friends.” She leaned her head against the seat then and closed her eyes. She held Molly's hand on the flight, and fell asleep thinking of Douglas and the amazing things he had said. It was all like a dream.

They took a cab to Marin from the airport in San Francisco, and the house looked tired and dusty to Tanya when she walked in and turned on the lights. No one had been in it since September, and to her it had the look of a house no one loved anymore. It seemed sad to her. She fluffed up the cushions, turned all the lights on, and made a run to Safeway while Molly called her friends. By the time she got back, Jason and Megan had arrived, and there was chaos in the kitchen. Half a dozen of their friends had already shown up, and everyone was talking about boyfriends, girlfriends, parties, school. The noise was deafening, the music was on, and Tanya beamed. These were the scenes she loved and missed so terribly now in L.A. She was glad they had come home, instead of having Thanksgiving in L.A. at the hotel, which would have been a huge mistake. The kids had wanted Thanksgiving and Christmas here, at their home, and so did she.

She made hamburgers and pizza for them, a big tossed salad, and french fries in the microwave. By midnight, the friends had left, the kitchen was clean, her children were upstairs, and she had set the table for Thanksgiving. It was nice being home again, and sad to think how much their lives had changed. The children were all away at college, nearly grown up, and off to their own lives. Peter was living with Alice. Their divorce was almost final, and she was living in a hotel in L.A. Being in Ross again was like a time warp somehow, but one that was dear to her, and that she knew she would always love. Sadly, she was aware that she still loved Peter, too. She realized that she wasn't over him yet, and wondered if she ever would be. Here in Ross, where they had shared their lives, missing him was more acute.

She got up, as she did every year, at five
A.M.
to start the turkey. It had been hard sleeping in her bed alone. The Thanksgiving before was when she had first suspected Peter's affair with Alice, even before it had begun, and now the tides had swept them all away, to other shores. She stuffed the turkey and put it in the oven, as she thought of Douglas and wondered if he would enjoy it here. It seemed unlikely that he would. This was too down home for him, but he offered other pleasures and blessings. She could hardly wait to ask the children about going on his boat after Christmas. She hoped they'd say yes. She would love to do that with him and have all her children with her. It seemed like an amazing adventure for all of them to share.

Once the turkey was in the oven, she lay on her bed and dreamed. Trying to forget Peter, she made herself think of what her life might be like with Douglas, in the spectacular house in L.A., listening to him play the piano and sharing his life with him. It was a very exciting prospect, even though unfamiliar to her. But it meant a lot that she felt safe and was so comfortable with him. It wasn't romance or passion, but it was friendship, and hopefully in time love. She was open to the idea, although it was still confusing and very new. His sharing his feelings with her had come as a huge surprise to her. She let her mind drift, examining the possibilities of what life could be like with him.

As they always did, the children dressed for the Thanksgiving meal. Both girls wore dresses, as did Tanya, and Jason wore a suit.

They took their places at the table, and Tanya said the blessing as she always did, for the food, for the gifts of the previous year and the one to come, for bringing their family together, and for the love that they shared. As she said it, her voice caught and her eyes filled with tears. All she could think of were the wrenching changes that their family had been through that year, and the divorce that wasn't even final yet. As she started to cry, Molly reached out and touched her hand, and Tanya finished the prayer with a loving smile at all three of them. In truth, they had much to be thankful for. They had each other, which was still the greatest gift of all.

Jason carved the turkey, in his father's place this year, and did a fine job of it. The meal was delicious, with the exception of the sweet potatoes, which Tanya had slightly burned.

“I'm out of practice,” she apologized to her children. “I haven't cooked since last summer.” It was hard to believe she'd been living in a hotel for that long.

“Alice makes puree of chestnuts, and stuffing with bourbon in it,” Megan announced, and it sounded like a reproach to her mother. Tanya made no comment, and Jason gave his sister an evil look. They were going to Peter's house the following morning, and all of the children were well aware that diplomatic relations between the two houses were somewhat strained. They tried not to mention either parent to the other, or Alice to their mother. It was still too soon, and awkward for them, too. Megan had stayed very close to Alice, all through the turmoil of the divorce. Molly had distanced herself from her, distressed over the affair that had broken up their parents' marriage. And Jason tried to stay out of it, and hoped that eventually the shitstorm would calm down. He had no desire to take sides with either camp, and wanted to visit peacefully in both.

“I have an invitation to share with you guys,” Tanya said in the middle of dinner, to try and divert the conversation from Alice's menu choices and cooking skills, which were painful for her to hear about. Megan was still resentful of Tanya's life in L.A., and had told her months before that whatever her father and Alice had done, the divorce was entirely her fault. It had been hard to hear, but was clearly what she felt, and brought up Tanya's own worst guilt and fears about having left for L.A. “We've been invited to the Caribbean on a very fancy yacht during Christmas vacation,” Tanya announced grandly, as all eyes turned to her.

“Whose? Some movie star?” Megan asked hopefully.

“The producer I work with. Douglas Wayne. In St. Bart's. He'll fly us down on his plane.”

“How did that happen? Are you dating him or something?” Megan asked, instantly suspicious of her mother and the lavish invitation.

“I haven't been. We're just friends, but I think it could lead in that direction at some point.” She didn't want to tell them he was talking marriage and had said he loved her. It was too soon, for her, and almost surely for them, too. She wanted them to get to know him first before she handed them a fait accompli. And she needed time to adjust, too. “We could go down right after Christmas, and spend New Year's on the boat,” she said cautiously.

“What about Dad?” Megan was quick to defend her father's interests, and time.

“I was going to Squaw with friends,” Jason said vaguely, considering the invitation, not sure which would be best. He made his decision quickly. “Actually, I think I'd like to come.” He had always loved boats, and a yacht in the Caribbean was too sweet to resist.

“I'll stay with Dad,” Megan was quick to add, just to be contrary, even if it “cut off her face to spite her nose,” as her brother liked to say when she blew up the bridge, which she did at times, to make a point.

“You can always change your mind later,” her mother told her gently, and then turned to her other twin. “Molly? What do you think?”

“I'll go with you.” She smiled softly. “It sounds cool to me. Can we bring friends?” Tanya gulped.

“I think it might be rude to ask. Maybe another time, if he asks, but not the first time.” They were due to spend Christmas Eve with their father, Christmas Day with her, and she suggested they go to St. Bart's on the twenty-sixth, and come back on New Year's Day, since they had to be back in school on the second. It gave them five days on the boat, which might be enough for Douglas, and it was a wonderful treat for them. Everybody looked pleased, even Megan for not going.

In the end, they had a nice meal and a good Thanksgiving. The kids went to their father's the next day, and the house seemed empty after they left, and better again on Saturday when they returned. They said not a word about Peter, which was a relief to Tanya. Douglas called on Friday, and she told him what the kids had decided about the boat.

“We'll be on hiatus till the eighth,” he reminded her. “Why don't I send your kids back on the plane, and you and I stay on the boat for a few more days, till the seventh? It would give us some time alone.” He made it sound as though they already had a relationship, and she was wondering if they would by then. As always, he had everything organized and planned. He needed to control his world.

“You're awfully good to us, Douglas,” she said, sounding grateful. “This is going to be a fabulous treat for my children. Are you sure you're okay with it?” She knew how he felt about kids.

“They're not four years old,” he said blithely. “I'll be fine. I'll enjoy getting to know them, and spending time with you.” He sounded more relaxed about her children than he had until that point, and Tanya couldn't help wondering if he had really thought about what being around teenagers would be like. He was totally unaccustomed to kids, and claimed he had an aversion to them. She hoped that hers would be an easy adjustment for him.

“I'm going to enjoy spending time with you, too,” she said warmly. It all seemed too good to be true.

“When are you coming home from Marin?” he asked with interest.

“Molly and I are on a four o'clock plane on Sunday. The others are driving down in the morning. I should be back at the hotel by six.”

“Why don't I bring over dinner? Maybe I can figure out something more fun than takeout Chinese. Some curry or Thai food. What do you think?”

“Hot dogs would be fine with me.” She was excited now to see him. Exciting things were starting to happen in her life. He had kissed her, said he loved her, mentioned marriage, and they were going on his boat with him. A lot had happened in only a few days. Her head was spinning, and she felt as though she was trembling on the brink.

“I'll come over around seven. See you then … and Tanya?”

“Yes?”

“I love you,” he said softly, and hung up, as she looked around her room, amazed. How life had changed.

Chapter 18

W
hen Douglas showed up at Bungalow 2 on Sunday night, he was wearing a black cashmere sweater and jeans. He looked relaxed and happy, and had brought several kinds of Indian curry, which smelled delicious when they unpacked them together in the kitchen. Tanya served them on the plates that she had stolen from room service. He kissed her as soon as he walked in, and told her about his weekend. She told him about Marin and the kids, how sad it felt to be there, how empty the house looked when she walked in, like a fallen leaf from a forgotten summer, brittle and dry and faded. It had depressed her to be there, but she loved being with her kids, and it was still home for all of them. And officially for her, too. She admitted to him that she felt homeless now. She no longer knew where she belonged or lived. The bungalow she lived in had become home to her, and she had no painful memories here. It was clean. Peter had only visited her there for two days. The rest of the time it had been entirely hers.