Bullet (27 page)

Meanwhile, my hands were enjoying feeling his chest and abs.  His skin was smooth but firm underneath, and as I explored, I felt him growing hard underneath me.  Oh…that felt really nice, the feeling of his penis up against me, right where he belonged.  His jeans and my panties were all that separated that joining, because my skirt wasn’t impeding us at all.

He moved his lips to my neck once again, and I heard a breath of air rush out of my mouth.  This time, though, he kept moving down and began kissing the tops of my breasts that weren’t covered by my bra.  Yeah, this felt way too good to stop.  I was unaware of everything else—of the almost uncomfortable, stifling warmth in the van, of the world around us.  It was just Brad and me.

He slid his hands up my back
, and his hands started to grab the back of my bra with the intention of unclasping it.  That’s when I heard a girl giggling outside the van.  Then Nick’s voice.  Then the creak of the metal door sliding open.

Nick
was laughing and then stopped when he got inside.  “Oh.  Don’t let us stop you.”

The dome light was on
now, and it brought me completely back to my senses, to the present.  Oh, my God.  Here I was in one of the most compromising situations I’d ever been in.  Was I really considering having sex?  In a van where anyone could just peek in and see?  With Brad?  Really?  What the hell was wrong with me?

Nick couldn’t shut up, though.  He slid the door closed, his giggly girl now inside and on the seat, so the light was off
again.  “We’re just gonna take the seat up here.  Proceed.”

I t
hink Brad knew the gig was up, but I had to give him credit for trying.  He brought his lips back to my neck, then my ear, and asked, “You okay?”

I took a deep breath to kind of stabilize myself and said, “Define
okay
.”

He chuckled, and I noticed Nick and his girl had quieted down to just a series of random
grunts and gasps and the sound of clothing being tossed off or pushed aside.  Brad said, “We can keep going.”

No, we couldn’
t, not now that I was back to my senses.  “I really should go.”  I started reaching for my shirt, feeling along the seat.

“Oh, Valerie,” he said, whispering, and I could almost believe it was just him and me again.  He ran his fingers back through my hair at the temples.  “I could make you feel like you were
born to fly.  I want to do that.  I want to show you what you were made for.”

Oh, he was tempting.  I considered it…for just a moment and then blew a stream of air out of my mouth.  I started feeling for my shirt again, groping beside me, now starting to panic.  He kissed my neck again.  God, I had to get out of there.

“Brad, I’m sorry.  I can’t.”  Even in the dark as I pulled back, I could see the grimace on his face.  But he let me slide the shirt back on and even reached for his own.

I maneuvered off him after my shirt was on and then I sat on the seat, feeling for the sandals that had long since slipped off my feet.  By the time I had my shoes on, his white t-shirt was back on
, and he followed me as I made my way to the door.  When I got out, I couldn’t help but notice that Nick and his girl were attached at the hip and only partially unclothed, but—despite my lack of expertise—I was pretty sure they were already mid-coitus.

The air felt cool and fresh, and it helped me gain my bearing
s.  And I noticed my panties were soaking wet.  That freaked me out at first, but I didn’t want to say anything.  Brad slid the door to the van closed and pulled me close again, his hands circling me at my waist.  “Did they make you uncomfortable?  I know that was weird.  I can get us a room, just you and me…”

“I can’t, Brad.  I just can’t.”  I looked down.  I felt guilty.  “I think I’ll just go home.”

He was still holding me pressed close to him.  “No, that’s cool.  I respect your decision…probably more than you’ll ever know.”  He rested my head on his shoulder and held me in a tight embrace.  “Doesn’t mean I didn’t wish you wouldn’t change your mind.”  He let out a heavy sigh.  “How far do you live from here?”

“Not too far.  Probably less than a mile.”

“I’ll walk you home.”  He let me go but wrapped his arm around my shoulders.  “You okay?”

I smiled, wrapped my arm around his hip, laced my thumb through a belt loop on the other side of his jeans, and leaned my head into the crook of his arm.  “Yeah, I think so.”

“You are amazing.”

I giggled, thinking that was the truth.  I even amazed myself sometimes.

* * *

“Val, the door!”  Danny yelled up the stairs to my bedroom, although he was so loud, I think the neighbors could
have heard him.

I’d been hiding out in my room since we’d gotten home from church that morning.  Oh…I’d prayed and prayed and prayed.  I was a sinner, and I was going to burn.  I felt so guilty
, and I’d hated being in that building that day, surrounded by good God-fearing people and a few hypocrites.  I felt like they were all staring me down like they knew.

We went home to pot roast and potatoes, one of mom’s specialties, and
ate what started as a quiet meal.  But then the family asked me questions about the night before, and I told them about the concert…but not the party after.  They expressed interest in meeting my friends, and I told them if they came back to Winchester, I’d make sure they would get to.

After we’d done dishes and the leftovers were put away, dad went out back to mow the lawn and mom went in the basement to work on whatever craft she had going on.  I think at that time she was into ceramics, but I can’t remember.  She went through phases, focusing on needlepoint one month, quilting the next, scrapbooking later on.  So Danny started playing a videogame
, and I went to my room to listen to music.  I’d only been in there for five minutes or so when Danny hollered at me.

I figured it was either Jill, having enjoyed our time together
and wanting to spend more, or one of my other old high school friends I hadn’t seen since last year.  But it wasn’t.  It was Brad.

Seeing him was completely unexpected.  I wasn’t quite ready to see him.  I smiled, feeling shy, trying to forget our steamy night together.  He’d been so loaded, maybe he’d forgotten.  And that made it easier for me to talk.  “Come in.”  He came into the living room and sat on the sofa.  I’d just promised my parents I’d introduce them to my friends, but my family didn’t know it was way too soon.  So I had to see what Brad wanted and send him on his merry way.  I didn’t have to introduce Danny because my brother had already passed me on his way back to the family room.  “So…what’s up?”  I hoped it wasn’t going to be any kind of awkward apology for what had happened between us.  Oh, shit.  Maybe I should have talked to him outdoors.  I didn’t need my family hearing about what a slut I’d become.

I was nervous, wondering what the hell he wanted.  Surely, he wasn’t there to confess his undying love to me or anything stupid like that.  “Me and the guys wanted to talk to you about something before we blow town.”  I had already expected them to be gone, but I wasn’t going to say so.  I knew they must have continued to party hard the night before and were just getting around to leaving.

“What?”

“We’re gonna eat a late lunch before we go.  The guys are already at a pizza place downtown.  Can you join us for a few minutes?”

“Sure.”  I wasn’t going to tell him I didn’t plan to eat.  “I need to let my mom and dad know, though.”  So I got up
, and he came with me.  I yelled down the stairs to the basement.  “Hey, mom, is it okay if I go hang with my band friends for a while before they leave?”

She was talking but moving at the same time because her voice got closer as she continued.  “Where are you going to be?”  She appeared at the foot of the stairs.

“Napoli, I think.”

“Oh, is this Ethan?”

Oh, shit.  I’m sure Brad loved hearing that.  “No, I’m Brad Payne, Mrs. Quinn.”  Mom was already walking up the stairs, so he held his hand out to her as she got near him.

“Nice to meet you,” she said
, shaking his hand.  I was glad she didn’t ask or say anything else.  “I’m sure that’s fine, hon.  What time do you think you’ll be home?”

I looked at Brad.  “I should have her home in two hours or less.”

“Have fun, kids.”

On the way there, I figured out what they wanted to talk to me about.  They wanted to apologize for the activities of the night before—the drugs, alcohol, and sex.  But I wouldn’t take the wind out of Brad’s sails.  I would let them apologize
, and I would graciously accept it.  Even though I would probably harbor a grudge against Ethan for my entire natural life, I did want to remain friends with these guys.  It had been a simple misunderstanding, and I knew now that I was too straight-laced to hang out with my band buddies after hours.  Still, it was sweet of them to think enough of me to say they were sorry.

Brad didn’t say a word on the way, choosing instead to crank an old Guns N’ Roses CD.  I thought either he was feeling sheepish about the night before too or maybe he had forgotten a lot of it.
  That was okay, because I didn’t want to talk about it either.  Just thinking about the fact that he’d seen me with my shirt off—that he’d kissed the top of my boobs!, a place no one else had ever touched—made me blush like mad.  Maybe I’d be able to talk about it someday, but I wasn’t ready yet.

When we got to the restaurant, I hopped out of the van before Brad could play gentleman again.  I wanted to go back to being regular old Valerie, just one of the gang.  He met me in front of the van, though, and we walked in together.  Just as the hostess came to ask us if there were two in our party, Brad said we were already with
a group, and he’d already spotted them.

As we approached the table,
Zane said, “We ordered one pepperoni and one with everything and a couple pitchers—one Pepsi, one Dr. Pepper.  Is that okay?”

Brad shrugged.  “That’s fine.”
  There were three empty seats, all in between each of the guys.  Brad sat between Nick and Zane, and I sat between Zane and Ethan.

Ethan acted kind of surly, sitting with his back to the wall.  Nick looked like he had seen better days.  I guessed he had a horrible hangover the likes of which he’d never seen before.  The waitress stopped by our table just to check in on us. 
I asked, “Can I get a glass of water, please?”

“Sure thing.”

Brad poured himself a glass of soda and then said, “Okay, guys.  Who wants to tell her?”

Ethan sat up straight.  “I will.”  He looked at me, and I couldn’t read a thing from his expression.  So…we were on speaking terms again?  Maybe I looked like a slutty bimbo?  Mentally, I chided myself and told myself I needed to pay attention.  I wouldn’t look sincere accepting their apology if I was zoning out.  He took a deep breath.  “All four of us have talked about this seriously, and we want you to sing for the band.”  I know I looked like a dumbass at that moment, because I was sure I’d heard incorrectly.
  He continued.  “You probably already know Brad’s lined up a bunch of shows this summer, and we want you to go with us.”  Well, as soon as I got excited, my bubble burst.  First of all, I was already obligated to watch those two little girls until August and, secondly, my mother and father would never agree.  Staying away for days at a time with four boys unchaperoned doing the kinds of things they were doing last night?  Nope.  They would never, ever agree.  I knew it without even asking.

Still…my mind couldn’t help but soar just a little bit.

And then the questions flooded through my mind, and my brain told me all the reasons why I couldn’t.  Why I shouldn’t.  I wasn’t good enough.  I didn’t have the talent.  I wasn’t pretty enough.  I didn’t deserve it.  My voice sucked.

Shut up!

I forced the logical and rude part of my brain to quiet itself and just let the excited part take over.  I wanted to indulge it just a bit.  “So…what would I do?  Just sing?”

“Yeah…sing.”

“But then what would you and Brad do?”

Ethan shrugged and
acted like that was the silliest question he’d ever heard.  “We could sing on occasion and even do a duet or two, but we could focus more on honing our guitar skills.  I mean…we’re good, but we wanna be great.  And we need a frontman—er,
woman
—who can really interact with the crowd.  That’s harder to do when you have a guitar strapped to you.  We need someone to stir them up, make them energetic, and I know you could do that.”

Brad said, “And face it, Val.  We can’t hol
d a candle to your voice.  The crowds ate it up both nights.  They really like you.”

“Yeah, but what if that’s only because it’s something different?”

“Would you stop that already?”  Ethan was tapping his finger on the table.  “Give us a good reason why you can’t.”

I let out a breath.  “Oh…I can give you more than one.”

Zane asked, “Like what?”

“My job.”

Ethan asked, “You have a job?”

“What?  Like that’s so unexpected?  Yeah…I babysit two girls Monday through Friday from now through the first week of August.”

“So?  Give ‘em your two-week notice.”