Bulldozed (19 page)

He rolled closer to spoon with Smoke. Lying curled around his naked body was almost more momentous than making love. He slid his arm around Smoke. The slow, steady thud of Smoke’s heart under his palm lulled him back to sleep. He was happy. And tired.

IN THE
morning Smoke made him a big breakfast. Trey found it hard to tear himself away from the slow, lingering kisses, but he was adamant about going home. Smoke drove him to the station to catch the train. Trey didn’t feel comfortable enough to touch in public. So Trey said good-bye as casually as if Smoke was a mere acquaintance, and carried his bags onto the train.

He slept the four and a half hours the train took to Fort Worth. He’d thought he was too keyed up to doze, but he was more tired than he thought. He found his truck in the parking lot and hit the road to his brother’s place.

The old trailer had been his home for the past fifteen years, but suddenly it looked very small and shabby compared to Smoke’s place. He took his bags inside. He was late to start the day’s work, but giving up a night’s sleep was worth it when he remembered what all he and Smoke had got up to.

With luck he could squeeze in a nap before he had to tell Jamar he was quitting. But not now. Time to get to work. He changed into fresh clothes and his work boots.

All day Jamar seemed to be avoiding him. He also seemed angry. The grim lines on his face when he glanced at Trey were enough to scare a bull, but he never stood still long enough for Trey to talk to him.

To make up for coming back later than he said he would, Trey worked on into the evening after the sun went down. By 8:00 p.m. he was ready to pack it in and get some much-needed sleep. He could have had supper with the other hands, but he didn’t much want to face Jamar’s wife either. And he felt weird about being around Jamar’s kids. Jamar and Rachel always watched him like a hawk, as if he might forget himself and make a move on his own nephews.

A can of Spam was calling his name, and Trey rode one of the ATVs back to his trailer. He only had time to kick off his boots and get the Spam out of the cupboard before he heard a knock.

It had to be Jamar. Sighing in resignation, he went to the door and opened it.

Jamar didn’t make a move to come in, as usual. “You were late coming back.”

Trey nodded.

Before he could say anything, Jamar said, “You didn’t get hurt riding, did you?”

Startled and touched, Trey shook his head. “No, I’m all right.”

“So you were helping this friend transport a couple of horses.”

Jamar couldn’t even ask why he was late. Probably afraid he might share salacious details of a hot night out with the boys. Trey flexed his ass to feel the lingering reminder of Smoke.

“Ran late. Sorry.”

Jamar’s brows snapped together. He looked furious. “You didn’t end up in jail, did you?”

Trey shook his head. “Didn’t do anything to shame the family name.” He bit his lip, remembering that just by existing he shamed the family name, in his late father’s opinion. “Took a while to sort through the paperwork,” he added to divert Jamar. “Sorry about that.”

“You couldn’t call?”

Then Trey got it. Jamar had been worried. “Sorry. I should have. I fell asleep when I got there.” After a lot of major-league sex.

Jamar looked alarmed. He clearly didn’t want to know where Trey slept. Or who with. “All right, then. Try to remember to call next time. Needed you around here.”

“Jamar, we need to talk.”

Scowling, Jamar turned back and looked at Trey. Really looked at him for a change. “That’s never a good way to start a conversation.”

“Yeah, guess not. Well, I’m quitting. I’m giving you two weeks’ notice so you have time to find yourself another foreman.” The expression on Jamar’s face surprised him, and Trey almost took a step back. “Don’t want to leave you shorthanded.”

Relief, anger, and oddly, a sort of protective concern all crossed Jamar’s face. “You got something else lined up?”

“You know I’ve been saving for my own place.”

“Somewhere around here?”

Now what the hell was going on all of a sudden? A heart-to-heart was unlike Jamar. Trey had been about to answer something vague and noncommittal when Alex’s words about the price he paid for safety inconveniently popped up in his brain. “Close to Austin. I’m buying into a place.”

“Better place to live if you’re a homo in Texas, I guess.”

Anger flared up inside Trey at that word, but he forced himself to stay calm. “Yeah, probably.”

Jamar studied him silently. “You meet someone?”

Uneasily, Trey shifted his shoulders, hunching them defensively.

Before he could answer, Jamar said, “I hope he’s a good guy.”

That was a shock. “He is.”

“Always hoped you’d get a boyfriend one day,” Jamar continued. “Still don’t like that you decided to be queer, but a man can’t live alone all his life.”

“Uh, yeah, okay then.” No use arguing about “deciding” to be queer.

“Look, I’m not dense. I know we don’t get along, but you’re my brother. I want you to be happy.”

“Thanks, Jamar.”

“Not that I’m happy about my best hand quitting, but you do what you gotta do.”

That was the old Jamar. Business as usual. “Yeah, okay. So two weeks, then.”

“Two weeks. You know if it doesn’t work out, you can always come home.” Abruptly Jamar turned and walked away.

Watching his brother’s bowlegged gait, Trey realized that was possibly the most intimate conversation they’d ever had in their lives. Alex’s advice to take a chance was paying off already. He laughed at himself. A new poem started up in his head.

TWO WEEKS
to the day, Trey’s truck was packed, filled mostly with books. His clothing and riding gear didn’t take much room. One treasured box sat on the seat inside, filled with the buckles he’d won. He looked around the inside of the shabby trailer. He wasn’t going to miss it, even though he’d lived there for the last fifteen years.

He hadn’t spoken to Smoke since he left his ranch two weeks ago. He’d wanted time to think things over by himself. And he liked the idea of surprising Smoke.

To his surprise, Jamar was leaning on his truck when Trey came out. He slammed the trailer door shut. “Should I lock it?”

Jamar nodded. “Case things don’t work out. Don’t want to move anyone else into your place.”

Trey clicked the padlock shut. When he walked to his truck, he wasn’t exactly sure what to say. His family had never been big on expressing emotion, other than outrage and anger. “Guess this is it.”

“You still going to rodeo?”

Trey raised his brows in surprise. His brother was never too interested in his riding. “Maybe for a while. Getting old for a bull rider.”

“Yeah.” Jamar nodded. He pushed himself upright and slapped the hood. “Never find another foreman as good as you.”

Again Trey was shocked. He’d had no idea Jamar felt that way. “Sure you will.”

Finally Jamar smiled. He held out his hand and they shook. “Gonna miss you,” he said gruffly. “The kids are big on texting. Let us know how things are going.” Then he turned and walked away.

The weird scene shook Trey, but it was too late. If Jamar had unbent a little even a year ago, it might have been different, but now… now he had Smoke to go home to. He got in his truck and started up.

Driving out the dirt road to the highway, Trey looked in his rearview mirror and saw Jamar waving. He stuck his hand out the window in a final salute. Then he turned onto the paved road, and the trees hid Jamar and the house where he grew up from view.

SMOKE’S RANCH
hand Nils was busy leaning on a pitchfork when Trey parked his car behind Smoke’s.

Trey got out and stretched. “Hey, Nils. Smoke around?”

“Up at the house.” Nils smiled at him. “Probably making himself a little supper. Good to have you back.”

Surprised, Trey put out his hand and they shook. “Thanks. It’s good to be back.”

“Smoke told us you’re buying in.” The twinkle in his eye told Trey that wasn’t the only thing Smoke had told Nils. Guess it wasn’t going to be that much of a surprise to Smoke that he came back.

“Plan to, if we can work something out.”

“Oh, it’ll work out,” Nils said confidently. “I think the two of you’ll make great partners.”

Nils put a slight emphasis on the word
partners
.

“I sure hope so.” Trey turned away to walk to the house.

“See you later. Boss.”

Trey grinned, but he didn’t turn around. “Don’t call me boss.” He heard Nils laugh.

The path from the barn led to the back door, which led into the kitchen. The door was standing open, so Trey rapped on it lightly.

Smoke’s voice came from inside. “Saw you drive by. Ready for supper?”

Trey stepped inside. “I could eat.”

Smoke looked up at him, his eyes bright and happy. “I missed you.”

“I always miss you.” Trey opened his arms and Smoke sprang into them, shoving Trey back against the wall.

Feeling Smoke’s arms tight around him was all Trey needed. Doubt had crept in during the two weeks they were apart, but now he knew there was nothing to fear. Smoke wanted him just as much as he wanted Smoke. They were silent for a while. Just holding Smoke tightly, breathing him in, was enough.

When Smoke slid his tongue into Trey’s mouth, Trey realized how he’d craved the taste of him. Trey was panting when they came up for air. “Door’s open,” he said hoarsely.

Smoke grinned and kicked it shut. “Don’t worry, I was planning to feed you before I let you ravish me.”

“My turn?” Trey laughed.

“Until we work out another system. Rock, paper, scissors?” Smoke went back to whatever he was doing at the cutting board. “Arm wrestling?”

“Maybe we can just take it as it comes.” Trey moved closer so he could watch. “Need help?”

Smoke shot him a hot glance. “Maybe after we eat.”

“Hurry up, then,” Trey said impatiently.

Smoke turned and kissed him again. Trey pulled Smoke’s shirt out of his belt and slid his hand up underneath. A shiver shook Smoke when Trey stroked his bare skin.

The hardness of Smoke’s cock impressed its shape against Trey’s thigh when he worked his hands down the back of Smoke’s jeans to cup his ass.

Clinging to him, Smoke tore his mouth away from the kiss and gasped sharply when Trey stroked over his hole. “Want to wait on supper?”

AFTER THEY
made love, they put their jeans back on and Smoke made peanut butter sandwiches. They ate sitting at the table they’d just fucked on. “I’m never going to eat in here again without thinking about this.” Smoke patted the table with a reminiscent smile.

Trey grinned proudly. “You didn’t seem surprised to see me.”

“You said two weeks.” When Smoke smiled back at him, Trey wondered why he ever thought it was mocking. “Who could resist me?”

“Well, maybe Dolly and Alex.”

“You let them know you’re moving in with me?”

Trey laughed. “Alex asked if we wanted a blender or a toaster, and Dolly told me I’m not as dumb as I look.”

“Blender. We already have a toaster.” Smoke pointed at the one on the counter.

“What should we do first?”

“I have lots of ideas,” Smoke said eagerly. “Now that you’re here, we could clear another trail. Maybe work out some way people can take rides on their own without a guide. Maybe put up a new corral for training horses. You’ve trained horses before, right?”

“Right.” Trey nodded.

“Probably need to expand the barn a little. And there’s the hay to get in. We have to work those four horses we brought back after the rodeo, get them used to our trails—”

“You schedule any time for fucking?” Trey leaned close to suck in a nipple.

“Of course.” Smoke gasped when Trey gently bit down. “Man does not live by peanut butter sandwiches alone.”

Trey released him. “Good.”

“Hey, I had another idea. What do you think about a gay dude ranch? I know it’s a risk, but everyone knows cowboys are hot, and there aren’t too many places gays around here can go to learn to—”

“Better bring on those white chaps and denim cutoffs again.”

“Only for you, babe. I promise no one sees my ass but you from now on.”

Trey couldn’t think of a better declaration of love than that. He grinned. “It’s a deal. Shake on it.”

He laughed when Smoke jumped up out of his chair and shook his ass as if he was making money on it. “Private show. Get those dollar bills ready. But first….”

Fear made Trey’s heart pound against his ribs. There was a catch. There had to be a catch.

All the mirth fled from Smoke’s face, and he stopped dancing. “I already told you I love you. Now I want to hear it from you.”

Trey swallowed hard. All the old considerations, not hot enough, not good enough, his fear of getting hurt… just… not enough, but he pushed it all away because he was here and Smoke was here and Smoke actually wanted him. Those three little words meant so much more now he knew that Smoke actually meant it.

Smoke was waiting for him. The anxiety in his eyes told Trey this was real. That Smoke needed to hear he loved him. Despite his need for reassurance, Smoke led and Trey always followed. And Smoke had said it first.

He stretched out a hand, hoping Smoke could help him over this last hurdle. Smoke grabbed Trey’s hand and squeezed it tight, still watching him anxiously.

Finally he said it. “I love you too, Roy ‘Smoke’ Carter.”

Arena: Bull riding takes place in a sports arena surrounded by steel fences six feet high. At one end, the ring announcers narrate from a safe place, giving stats, scores, and their opinions. At the other end, a two-story steel structure houses the TV announcers up top, with the chutes down below. By the gate, a TV reporter is stationed to interview riders coming and going.

Away from his hand: If a rider is right-handed and the bull spins to the opposite direction, the bull is going away from his hand and vice versa.

Back pens: There is a maze of fencing behind the scenes where the bulls wait before and after their trip.