Building Faith (Long Beach Series Book 2) (31 page)

“You didn't have to escort me home,” I murmur lightly to Caleb as we make our way onto the city bus. It's packed, and we manage to find a space where we both can sit next to one another. I'd text messaged Caleb during my break about Oliver, and I'd begged him not to tell Ben or my parents. He'd replied that he'd be there when my shift was over with, and we'd talk then.

Caleb gives me a look. “Yes, I did. If Oliver's here, you can't be out and about alone.”

I look at him worriedly. “You're not going to tell my parents, are you?”

“Faith, why
wouldn't
I tell them? You're in danger,” he points out.

“If you tell them that he's followed me here, my parents are going to hop on the next flight to come be with me. They can't afford that! They have jobs, and they can't just drop everything in hopes of protecting me. Then there's Ben. He can't leave Della while she's pregnant,” I hiss, trying not to gain much attention from the strangers that surround us. As I'd walked down the aisle to our seats, I'd searched all the faces to make sure Oliver wasn't on the bus. I'd been relieved to see that they were all strangers. No one looked familiar.

Caleb moves closer and says in my ear, “They are your parents, they'd want to know.”

“Then let me be the one to tell them.”

“When?” he presses.

I peer at him pleadingly. “Caleb, I finally have a really good thing going here. This is my life. Let me figure out how to deal with Oliver without having everything I've worked for blowing up in my face.”

“Nothing is going to blow up in your face. It's just going to be added protection,” Caleb points out.

“But then I'm being babysat and not truly living. I don't want that until I know for sure he's going to try something. Maybe he just wants to talk,” I add lamely.

Caleb looks at me incredulously. “Talk? If he wanted to talk, he wouldn't have run you off the road or tried to hit you while you were on your bike that day.  You can't wait until the situation turns dangerous, Faith.”

“I'll be careful. Caleb, this is my life.”

He glances out our window and says, “Next stop is ours.”

When the bus slows down, we rise to our feet and step off at our stop. Caleb immediately slings an arm around my shoulders as we walk to the apartment complex. We're silent as we slip through the front door and as the elevator sweeps us up to the second floor. While I take my keys out of my purse at my door, Caleb hovers behind me silently.

The second I open the door, Caleb steps in front of me and enters my apartment. I shut the door behind us as he walks around, eyes scanning every corner before striding through the living room and down the hall.

I'm just kicking off my shoes when Daisy comes tearing through the living room to greet me and beg for her nightly dinner. After squatting down to give her a little attention, I turn and walk over to the cupboard for her kitty food. Once she's fed, I find that Caleb is standing near the island counter, arms crossed as he patiently waits for my attention.

“Have you gone to the police yet?” he asks.

I run my hands over my face warily. “There's no point. They can't do anything until he actually makes a move.”

“Asking about you was making a move,” he points out with a frown.

“Caleb, I've dealt with cops enough to know that they're going to point out that it just could have been someone that resembled Oliver.”

“He knew your name. He specifically asked for you.”

“He could have been a customer that remembered my name. I wear a name tag, remember?”

Caleb sighs and unfolds his arms to place his hands on his hips as he dwells upon the situation. “You're right,” he admits.

I walk over to him and touch his arm. “You and Zoey live right next door. There's also Ace and Jeremy on the other side of you. If anything ever happened, all I'd have to do is scream and you'd be here in a heartbeat. I'm well protected,” I remind.

“But not at work.”

“He's not going to do anything in public. If he wasn't worried about getting caught, he wouldn't have bothered with different cars back in Harrison. If he's going to try something, it's going to be when he thinks he's got me alone. That'll be next to impossible, because I'm taking the bus to and from work. And if I go anywhere, I'll make sure someone is with me,” I promise.

“How the hell can you be as calm as you are about this? Aren't you scared?”

“I don't know why I'm not freaking out.” I shrug and look at him with a sense of calmness that I never would have thought possible after everything I've been through. “I think maybe it's because I feel like I've already been through the worst, you know? Being stabbed...” I shudder and Caleb immediately pulls me into his arms. “I went through hell to pull my life together, and life is great now. I don't want to become the girl that was too frightened to walk out her front door. I want to live. I am scared, Caleb, but I'm not going to revert back to my old ways just because Oliver's in town,” I say into his shoulder.

His arms tighten around me. “We'll protect you. None of us will let anything happen to you.”

I sigh and ease back slightly so I can look up at him. “Can we keep this between the two of us?” I ask as I wait to see his reaction.

He scowls. “First you don't want me to tell your parents or Ben. Now you don't want your friends to know? Faith, that's leaving yourself wide open for Oliver.”

“I want to be normal, and I don't want to be babysat. If you tell the others, I'll never have any personal space. Everyone will be up in my face every second of the day. I don't want that.”

Caleb slowly shakes his head. “I think it's a bad idea not telling them.”

“But you'll respect my wishes?” I ask hopefully.

“For now,” he says pointedly, but it's obvious he's not going to keep it to himself for long. “The only reason I'm letting you have your way is because I was there when you dealt with the aftermath of Justin's attack. I am so proud of who you've become and the woman that stands before me today. I don't want to back you in a corner because I feel that's what's best for you. I want you to continue being who you are, and if you're putting your foot down and telling me no, then I am going to try to respect that.” His eyes turn deliberate. “But I am warning you right now, if there's one more Oliver sighting, all bets are off, Faith.”

I guess that's the best offer I'm going to get. “Okay. If I see Oliver again, I'll let everyone know what's going on,” I agree.

Once we're in agreement, Caleb tells me he has plans with Zoey. He reluctantly leaves, but not before insisting I lock the door immediately behind him. After he's gone, I feel wary and a bit unsettled knowing that Oliver is in town, but I refuse to let fear raise its ugly head. I'm going to go on with my life like normal.

So with that decided, I take a shower and change. Ace said he'd be over around eight, and as usual, I want to make a meal for him. I never knew cooking for a guy could be so pleasing. I love seeing his eyes light up when he spies the meal I've usually got set up. Ace has admitted to growing up with nannies, and he's never had any real homemade dinners with anyone other than his family's cook. Whenever they'd had family dinners, it'd been catered or they'd gone to restaurants. I like giving Ace a sense of normalcy.

I'm just pulling ingredients out of the cupboards when I hear a knock on the door. I glance at the clock with surprise. Ace isn't supposed to arrive for an hour yet. Feeling slightly uncertain, I walk over to the door and peer out the peephole.

It's Ace.

I unlock the door and swing it open with surprise. “Hi. You're early...” My voice trails off when I see that he's all sweaty and wearing a tank and gym shorts.

He grins at me. “Not really. I just wanted to drop something off before I shower.” His smile fades, and now he looks adorably uncertain. “I did the research like you asked me to, and I...uh, wanted to give you this and not have you feel like it's going to weigh our evening down. So here,” he says, shoving a white plastic bag in my hands. “Put it away for now, and if you ever think it's what you want, we'll try it. No pressure,” he adds gruffly.

I look down at the bag in my hands with bewilderment before turning my attention back on him. “What is it?”

He shakes his head. “We're not talking about it tonight.” He leans in and kisses my cheek. “See you in bit.” He's gone before I can make sense of the weird conversation. I slowly shut the door and cautiously open the bag.

I have no clue what it is until I pull it out of the bag. It's a fantasy restraint kit...in pink. I'm momentarily stunned, and then I study the plastic package intently. It's a sheet set. It includes one black fitted sheet with attached pink restraints in all four corners. It also includes a pink blindfold. My lips part, and a slow grin forms on my lips. He's willing to explore his darker side with me! Now that he's willing, I'm going to take him up on his offer before he can change his mind.

I quickly make a hasty retreat to my room where I begin to strip the bed of its sheets. Tonight will be all about us. I want it to be perfect. Even as I begin to slip the fitted sheet on over the mattress, I know things are going to fall apart soon. This is why I want tonight so badly. Once it comes out about Oliver, Ace will be done hiding our relationship, and Caleb's going to be furious.

Regret flickers through me as I realize Ace is going to be mad as well.

At me.

I should have told him about Oliver.

The second I dry my hands after we'd just finished washing our dishes from dinner, I feel Ace's hands slide around my waist as his chest presses into my back. A shiver runs through my body when I feel warm lips on the sensitive area of my neck. His tongue swirls along my skin, then his teeth nip gently.

My breath catches in my throat as I lean back into him, giving him full access to whatever he wants. His warm hands slide up my ribs to cup my breasts through my bra. “Mmm. I can't get enough of you,” he murmurs as he places another kiss on my neck. “I had every intention of going slow tonight and just enjoying your company, but I'm so fucking addicted to your body.”

I tilt my head to the side, baring more of my neck to him. “We can talk later,” I say a bit breathlessly in agreement.

One second my back is to him, and within the next, he's got me turned around so I can face him. He grips me around the waist and lifts me up so that my legs wrap around his hips. His lips claim mine as he carries me across the room and to the hallway, his warm hands squeezing my butt.

I'm lost in his kiss until he curses into my mouth, and Ace loses his footing. He nearly drops me until he regains his balance and carefully puts me down. “Babe, that cat has got to go,” he growls with frustration as he quickly bends down and picks up Daisy—who probably chased after his feet while he’d been carrying me. The second she realizes he's striding to the bathroom, she begins to wiggle desperately in his hands. “We don't need an audience tonight,” he tells her with a hint of satisfaction before he sets her down inside and shuts the door firmly. “What the fuck was I thinking getting my girl a damned cat,” he mutters under his breath.

“I heard that,” I say with a laugh.

He turns his head and gives me an adorably woeful look. “Why couldn't you have wanted a bird or a guinea pig?”

“I wanted something to cuddle with.”

That woeful look abruptly turns roguish. “You've got me to cuddle with. Does this mean I can return her now?” he asks as he stalks towards me.

“Absolutely not,” I admonish with an amused smile.

He wraps his arms around me and walks me backwards to my room, his lips stealing soft little kisses. “Why's your lamp on?” he asks with a frown as he peers around my head from where we stand in the doorway of my room. His entire body stills when he sees that I'd put the fitted sheet on the bed and the pink blindfold is also there.

I watch his reaction closely as he processes what I want tonight. His eyes are still focused on the bed, but I'm facing him so I can see his eyes darkening with anticipation. In the blink of an eye the heat disappears as his eyes slide back to me. I see doubt within their depths. “I didn't give it to you with the implication that we'd try it tonight.”

“You made that very clear,” I assure. “But I want to try it. I want to be with you this way, Ace.”

He's silent for a moment as he stares long and hard at me. “You can't tell me that the idea of being restrained doesn't frighten you at all, Faith.”

I need to be completely honest with him. “It does, but just a tiny bit. I think anyone would have a little bit of uncertainty their first time using restraints. The most important thing is that I trust you.” I give him a knowing smile. “You'll make it good for me, right?” I tease.

“More than good. I'll make you scream,” he promises.

“No screaming. The last thing we need is Caleb breaking down the door and finding me restrained to my bed.” My nose wrinkles just from the thought of that horrible scenario.

“I can muffle your screams with my mouth,” Ace offers wickedly.

“So, are you all talk, or are we going to do something?” I ask, egging him on.

He immediately sobers up, which is not what I was expecting. “Sit down,” he says quietly, nodding at the bed.

My heart sinks. He's not ready for this after all. I swallow my disappointment and walk over to the bed. I sit down and wait.

Ace walks over and squats down in front of me so that I have no choice but to keep my eyes on his. “Being bound can be scary, Faith. I don't mean to bring my past into this, but I've had women balk at the idea, and some have agreed to it up until it's time for the restraints. It's not for everyone. Do you understand what I'm saying?”

I nod as I listen.

“Restraints have never,
ever
been about me wanting to hurt anyone or to abuse the privilege they are giving me, so that I can be in control. I've never done anything that they haven't wanted me to, and how far things go is always up to them. They may not have control over their bodies, but they are in full control over the situation, you get me?”

Once again, I nod as I try to push down the jealousy I'm feeling.

His eyes continue to stay locked on mine. “We'll try this tonight, but I want to make it clear that you're in control of what happens. It's just me and you. I won't do anything more than touch you, kiss you, and of course put my dick in you. I'm going to keep things light tonight, so no extras. If you find that you like it, we can gradually add things to the experience, but for now, all I want is to concentrate on you and what you're feeling. If at any time you want me to stop, you say the word. Don't think for even a second that I'll be upset. You tell me to stop, you hear?”

I nod, my heart leaping at the realization that we're going to go ahead and do this tonight. I'm full of anticipation but also nerves.

“Now, the reason I bought this kit is because it gives the illusion to being restrained, but if you yank hard enough, the fitted sheet will tug off the mattress. You're not entirely helpless, and if you panic, you can free yourself easily. I hope to God that never happens, Angel. You need to be completely honest with me tonight. Don't hide what you're feeling until you panic.”

“Okay,” I whisper.

“Do you want to change your mind?” he asks calmly.

I can now understand how he's been able to have so many women participate in this kind of thing. Right now, he's so calm, and the fact that he's concerned about my feelings has me feeling safe. I'm pretty sure he’s had a similar conversation with everyone he's ever been with. Ace isn't the type to allow someone to go into something blind. Heck, I can't see a woman just hopping on a bed and saying to a total stranger, “Tie me up.”

“Faith?” he prods gently.

He's waiting on my answer, and I give him a reassuring smile. “This is what I want. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have pushed so hard for it,” I remind him.

He nods. “About that blindfold. Would you be more comfortable without it? That way you can see and know everything I'm going to do before I do it?”

I chew my lower lip. “Um... Obviously the blindfold came with for a reason, so I take it the experience is more intense with it on?” I ask hesitantly.

“It is,” he agrees. “Some women like not knowing what's going to happen next, and it can make a caress or sexual stimulation much more intense. It's entirely up to you if you want to wear it.”

“Do you like it when no one can see you?” I ask carefully.

His expression is unreadable. “No preference.”

I think it over and realize I am going to be spread-eagle and naked. Do I really want to be mortified every time he looks between my legs? Um, no. “I'll wear it, but will you take it off me if I ask?”

“Absolutely.”

I wait to see if there's anything more we need to discuss.

He studies me. “Any questions?”

I shake my head. “Wait,” I say, thinking of something. I look at him a bit shyly. “I want this to be about just you and me, but I want you to be the person that you like to be when you're doing this. I want to see that part of you.”

His eyes narrow. “You may not like that guy.”

“What do you mean?”

“It means that I have a conversation with a woman beforehand, and she warns me what she likes, doesn't like, and what she wants to try. After that, it's up to me to figure out how far to take things. If she doesn't say stop, I'll push her to her limit. With you, it's impossible to know what you don't like, because you're not even sure yourself. You haven't explored sex as much as the others have. I'll give you all that I can of myself, but I can't unleash what the 'norm' is for me until you learn more about yourself. We need to figure out what you like, don't like, and what really makes you go crazy. Do you understand what I'm saying?”

I slowly nod. He's saying that what we'll be doing tonight is just the tip of the iceberg as to what he usually does. I'm thankful that we're going to go into this nice and slow, but my lower body is damp at the thought that there's so much to explore with him.

“Any other questions?” he asks.

As I gaze at him, I can see that he's not the usual lighthearted Ace that I am used to. There's an air of calculated calmness to him, and he radiates control. The Ace that is before me is the one that he's hidden from me.

This Ace turns me on.

A lot.

“No more questions,” I tell him softly.

He slowly rises to his feet and turns to shut my bedroom door. When he turns around, his eyes rest on me. “Get undressed.”

“You're not going to undress me?” I ask with surprise.

“No.” He crosses his arms and waits while his gaze challenges me to do as he asks. I can see the wicked glint in his eye that betrays he's enjoying himself. My eyes drop to his hips, and I'm not the least bit surprised to see that he's sporting an erection. I haven't even taken off my clothes, and he's already quite turned on. That in itself has me relaxing slightly. He's not going to treat me with kid gloves like he usually does, and I think this is exactly what I need. It's very evident he finds me sexy and attractive, so what's to be embarrassed about?

As I carefully stand up, I have a feeling that this is his way of pushing me to my own limits. Tonight, he wants to see what I'm willing to do without his usual reassurances. It's exciting. I try not to show my nerves as I reach for the hem of my shirt to pull it off.

“Slowly,” Ace warns me.

Oh Lord, I can't believe I am doing this.

Very slowly, I pull the shirt over my head and let it drop to the floor. I'm wearing a lavender bra tonight, and beneath my jeans I am wearing matching boy shorts. I watch Ace as his eyes slide over my breasts, appreciation flashing in his gaze even as he stands there with his arms still crossed.

“Continue.”

I reach for the button on my jeans, and I am careful to make sure I don't unzip my jeans too fast. His eyes are watching my every move, and it's a bit empowering. Once the jeans are loose enough, I slide them carefully down my hips and do a little shimmy to get them to drop to my feet. I step out of them, pushing them aside with my toe. When I turn back to look at Ace, I see that his eyes are full of unbridled lust. I can't believe that a year and a half ago I thought I was unattractive and lucky to have someone like Justin interested in me. Boy have things changed. I've never in my life felt sexier than I do right now.

“Turn around,” Ace says softly.

I'm enjoying this game. I turn and give him my back and wait. Only silence fills the room. A minute passes, and I frown slightly. How long is he going to make me stand here like this? Jeesh, the man has got the craziest obsession with my rear end.

“Turn around,” he finally says.

I turn and meet his gaze again.

“Take off the bra.”

Without a word, I reach behind me to unclasp my bra. I let the straps slide down my arms, and then the bra falls away from my breasts and drops to the floor. The fact that Ace is so silent should have been daunting and causing me to doubt myself. Instead, I like that he's not giving me his usual compliments. I have a feeling that if he was reassuring me constantly, we'd never get anywhere, and it would break the intensity of the moment.

“Ditch the panties.”

I slip my fingers just beneath the edging at my hips and carefully begin sliding the material down. I fight back a blush as they drop to my feet. Being completely naked while Ace is still entirely dressed is awkward.

At least for me.

“Fucking gorgeous,” Ace says bluntly as his eyes roam over me.

Well, there's my reassurance. Short and blunt. My lip curves in the corner, but I don't say anything.

Ace cocks his head slightly, and he looks momentarily amused. “You do know you're allowed to speak, right?”

“I know.”

He nods. “Climb on the bed. Arms outstretched, legs nice and wide,” he says wickedly.

Nerves tighten my chest, and I swear my heart is going to pound its way out of my ribcage.
Okay, I can do this.
I keep repeating that mantra in my head as I turn and climb on the bed. I push aside the blindfold, then lie down on my back. The first thing I do is put my arms where the restraints are. After a moment’s hesitation, I spread my legs to where I can feel the restraints waiting. I promptly clamp my eyes shut tightly, not wanting to know when he's gazing down there.

I hear a low chuckle. “I love how shy you are.” Then comes the sound of movement, and I know he's walking to the bed. “Look at me,” he orders, his voice close to my head.