Authors: Liza Cody
âMmm.'
âWhat do you mean, “Mmm”?'
Goldie looked at me with a funny expression on her face.
âWhat?' I asked.
âEva,' she said, very quietly. âEva, they are middle class.'
âSo what?'
âIf you go in like a raging bull, they'll get frightened. When the middle classes get frightened you'd better watch out. That is when they're most dangerous.'
âThey don't scare me.'
âThey should. These are solicitors. They are there to protect the middle classes. So are the police. You tried it before. Remember what happened then?'
âI was only thirteen then.'
âNo difference. It'd be better if you tried a little subterfuge.'
âWhat's that?'
âIt's going the long way round. It's ringing up and pretending to be ⦠another solicitor ⦠or an insurance agent â one of their own kind. Someone they would tell things to.'
âShit,' I said. âI'd rather bang heads.'
âI know,' she said. âLet me think about it.'
Just then Gruff Gordon came barging in. He said, âWhat're you girls doing in here â perming your eyelashes?'
Can you believe the nerve of the man? I shoulder-charged him, right in the soft bit under his ribcage. And when he was outside I said, âSee what it says on the door, bollock-drip? It says “Ladies”. Ladies is us, not you, so bugger off till we're ready.'
When I got back Goldie was laughing so hard there were tears in her eyes.
âHis face,' she said, âdid you see his face?'
I hadn't looked at his face but I guessed it must've been pretty funny, the way she was carrying on.
She wiped her eyes and started to put on more eyeliner.
âWill you really?' I asked.
âWhat?'
âThink about the solicitors.'
âOkay,' she said, looking at me in the mirror. âIf you want.'
I did want. She was right. I don't know how to talk to people. I always rub them up the wrong way. I don't know why â I only say what I think.
And looking at her I realised why she knew so much more than I did about solicitors and things. Really and truly, she was one of them. Which made me feel weird, because she was broke and homeless, and I wasn't.
But now I felt light and easy when only an hour before I had felt blue and heavy. I didn't care about Gruff Gordon and Pete Carver and the silly pantomime they were rehearsing with Goldie. I didn't care that she was Gruff Gordon's valet and not mine. Who needs a valet when they've got a friend to talk to?
And besides, I wasn't fighting Bombshell at the bottom of the bill any more. I was fighting Sherry-Lee Lewis, the Star of the East, who knew how to get a bit of respect. I was on my way.
I don't know about your life, but mine is a bit like a coin. Flip it once and it comes down heads, flip it again and it comes down tails. Heads, tails â I never know which side I'm going to land.
I wasn't exactly thinking about this. I was minding my own business, watching Gruff and Pete go through their moves â battle of the Titans, my arse! Battle of the bellies more like. Maybe I was enjoying feeling so good when last night I was feeling so bad, when in walked Harry Richards with his Adidas bag and my coin took another flip.
I wish I knew who was doing the flipping â I'd have a word with him about it if I could.
Anyway, in walked Harry Richards, with his smiley moon-face. He used to have to fight in a mask because he looked so harmless. He always has a pleasant word for everyone.
He walked in saying, âYo, Mr Deeds. Yo, Gruff, Pete. What's happenin'?'
And then he saw me, and his moon-face just froze. He stood stone-still staring at me. And then he saw Goldie. His mouth dropped open and his chewing gum fell out onto the floor.
âFor fuck-sake, Eva,' he said. âI thought you was dead.'
If I'd had any chewing gum in my mouth it would've dropped out too. I mean, what a thing to say.
âWatcher, Harry,' Mr Deeds said. âYou come to work out? When you going to put your mask back on and fight for me again?'
âI don't feel so good,' Harry said. âThink I'll go off home and rest.' And he turned round and went out the door.
I caught him in the hall.
âWhat's up, Harry?' I said.
âDon't talk to me, Eva,' he said, pulling his arm away. âIf you not dead you in big trouble, and I don't want no trouble.'
âWhat you talking about?' I stood between him and the street and every time he tried to go around me I stood in his way.
âYou fuck me up, Eva,' he said. âThey give me hell about you an' that little girl from the band. I didn't know you was friends with her.'
âHow did I fuck you up?' I asked. âYou said “help out”, and I helped out. There wasn't bugger all I could do after the polizei came except leg it.'
âDon't give me that,' he said. âI wouldn't have asked you to help out except I thought you was workin' for the Chengs. And what else for does Bermuda Smith pay Mr Cheng?'
âI don't know. What does Bermuda Smith pay Mr Cheng for, Harry?'
Harry gave me the nearest thing he had to a dirty look.
âYou tellin' me you don't know?' he said. âYou come draggin' your arse in every month, bad mouthin' all, like you was Mr Cheng himself. What you talkin' about, girl?'
I was shocked. I couldn't believe that was how Harry Richards saw me. I always thought we got along.
âListen, haemorrhoid,' I said, âI don't bad mouth anyone. I'm just trying to make the rent and get by. I run errands for Mr Cheng â or I used to â but he never tells me dipsy-doodle about nothing. I'm just a round-eyed chunk of muscle to him, like you are to Bermuda Smith.'
âThere you go, calling folk names again,' Harry said sadly. âAt least I work for my own kind.'
âWell, what is
my
own kind Harry? Tell me that. I don't have a “kind”. So I work for anyone who pays.'
âThen you should be loyal to who pays. Not go shack up with the enemy. Not bite the feedin' hand.'
âI don't!' I shouted. I was really shocked now. âI've
never
done that, Harry.'
âThen what you doin' with that little girl from Count Suckle band? I saw you, Eva. I saw you take her away. An' she's here now. That band. They throw gas, they wreck our club.'
âWhat?' I said. âWhat?' And I sat down on the cold floor. I didn't know what to think and I wanted to lie down and go to sleep.
Harry said, âWhat you think Bermuda Smith give you to take to Mr Cheng, Eva? Every month you come, what you think you carrying? Hair oil? Bananas?'
âMoney, Harry,' I said. âI thought I was carrying money.'
âYeah, money,' Harry said. âAnd what sort of money was that, Eva?
You think Bermuda Smith pay Mr Cheng instalments on his wife's fridge-freezer?'
He looked at me with pity and then walked slowly out onto the street. He stood there for a minute watching the traffic. Then he turned round and walked slowly back.
He said, âMaybe you not bad, Eva. Maybe you just very, very stupid.'
I couldn't look him in the face. I just looked at his poor old flat feet. âYou don't understand, do you?'
âNo,' I said. âI don't understand anything.'
He squatted down so that his face was level with mine.
âCheng send you to Count Suckle's place with a bomb, Eva. And you still don't understand. You supposed to be dead.'
âI know that,' I said. âAnd someone locked me in. I couldn't open the door so I broke it and I saw it had been locked. Then the wall exploded.'
âI'm sorry for you, Eva,' Harry said. âYou work for people you don't know. You supposed to be inside Count Suckle's place under all them bricks. You supposed to be two birds killed with one stone.'
âWhy, Harry? Why did they do that to me?'
âProtection war,' Harry said. âEveryone think you on the other side. Count Suckle, he want Bermuda Smith's account. He say Bermuda Smith should stick to his own kind, not pay good money to bad Chinese. Mr Cheng say Count Suckle messing around on Cheng territory. Bermuda Smith pay Chengs for protection. Bermuda Smith stupid too. He book that band without checking where it come from.'
âWho is Count Suckle, Harry?' I asked.
âJust another bad man who take in weaker folk's dirty linen,' he said. âLike Mr Cheng. Big man in community relations. Big man in entertainment, Eva. Got accounts in half the clubs in North West London. Got his own little place â but you saw that, Eva.'
I nodded.
âThat little place like his home, Eva. That where he started out. Count Suckle sentimental about that little place. Cheng know that.'
Harry was tired of squatting so he sat on the floor too.
âBermuda Smith's club is closed,' he said. âI got no job no more.'
âI'm sorry.'
âThree people dead at Count Suckle's place.'
I covered my face with my hands. I did not want to hear.
âThree, Eva.'
âWhy?' I said. âI don't understand.'
âThat band. They from Count Suckle. He sent them. They bring in tear gas. It was all behind the stage, Eva. The roadie threw the first can. You don't use your eyes, Eva? Other folk use their eyes. They see you take up that little girl and go.'
âBut it wasn't her, Harry. She was rat-arsed.'
âHer foolishness. She had the cans in her bag. She's that pretty-boy singer's woman, Eva. That singer, he Count Suckle's man.'
âNo.' I said.
âYour foolishness, Eva,' Harry said. He straightened up and rubbed his thighs. âYou just a dumb fighter like me. Got no brain in your head.'
I said, âWhat am I going to do?'
Harry looked away. âI don't know what you going to do. Me, I'd get rid of that little girl pretty damn quick. And I take a plane somewhere. See, nobody owe you nothin' but evil, girl. Not Bermuda Smith, not Cheng, not Count Suckle people. Lucky for you everybody think you dead.'
Harry walked away to the street. He did not look at me. It was like he said â I was dead. I did not exist.
But then, like the first time, he turned round and came back.
âDumb as you, Eva,' he said. âI come to talk to Mr Deeds â ask him for a job.' And he walked past me into the gym.
I sat on the floor in the hall. I couldn't have moved if I'd tried.
I know how to build a house in the snow. You can make trenches, caves or igloos. You make three levels: the top one for the fire, the middle one to sleep on and the bottom one for storage and to trap cold air.
If I was alone in the Arctic I could survive for ages. I read about it in my SAS Survival Handbook.
âMark out a circle on the ground about 4m (13 ½ft) in diameter and tramp it down to consolidate the floor as you proceedâ¦'
I could do that, easy.
Harsh walked in with a couple of blokes I know. The others went straight into the gym without saying hello, but Harsh stopped and said, âWhat are you doing out here in the cold?'
âWaiting for Goldie,' I said. âHarsh?'
âYes.'
âCan I talk to you? I've got a bit of a problem.'
âLater, Eva,' he said. âI've got work to do.'
He followed the other two into the gym.
The bola is a weapon Eskimos use to bring down birds. You wrap stones in circles of cloth and you knot lengths of string round each bit of cloth. Then you tie the other ends of the strings together and, shazam, you've got a bola. I like the bola. You don't have to be clever to make one and you don't have to be a great shot to aim it right. You just whirl it round your head and let fly in the general direction of what you want to hit.
I could make a spear or a bow and arrow, but really the bola is best. I had a brilliant thought â suppose I use ball bearings? There were loads of ball bearings back at the yard.
I got up. Harsh was right. It was pretty cold in the hall. Perhaps that was why I was thinking about Eskimos.
You think I'm stupid. Go on â you can be straight with me. You
think I don't know what you're thinking. You think I don't know what's going on.
Well let me tell you something â Harry Richards did not say much I didn't know already. Even while he was talking I kept saying to myself â âI
knew
that.' Except about the band. I didn't know about the band.
And as for Goldie, well, she practically told me, didn't she? She was going to tell me what was in the bag she was so worried about. She
was.
But we were interrupted and later, when she knew I was working for Mr Cheng she said it was drugs in her bag. She told me it was drugs but if she hadn't been frightened of the Chengs she would have told me about the cans of gas. She
would.
Anyway, what she told me about the drugs was probably true too. She
was
sick, very sick, and it wasn't just booze. I know about booze.
Goldie didn't lie to me. She just left a few things out. You can't blame her for that. I left a few things out too. People leave a few things out all the time. What are you going to do about it â shoot us?
I went back to the yard.
I should have told Goldie where I was going but I didn't. I didn't because I wanted to think about what to do.
You think I was wasting my time sitting around in the cold thinking about Eskimos. Well, that's how much you know. I wasn't wasting my time at all.
If you suddenly hear that you are in danger you think about protecting yourself. If you don't think about protecting yourself then you really are wasting your time. I am not as stupid as you think.
On my way back to the yard I stopped off and bought a ball of nice strong string. And when I was home at the yard I collected a lot of heavy stones and handfuls of ball bearings.