BUCKED Box Set: A Bull Rider Western Romance (68 page)

Shawn pushed off of the table and stormed
out of the house, ensuring that he slammed the door behind him.

“And don’t come back, you ungrateful
little shit!” Paul screamed, running after him until he reached the front door.

However, with Shawn gone, the attention of
the parents then fell on me and I had absolutely nowhere to run.

Chapter
26

Shawn

I stayed home from school for the next few
days, because I was so angry over what had happened at dinner.

I did feel bad about what I had done to
Valerie, and I knew
  
I was still angry
and far too much of a coward to own up to it to try to make her feel better.
But I still wanted to make it work between us.

Still, I wasn’t sure how, seeing as I had
completely outed us to our parents and made probably one of the biggest
mistakes I could have with my entire family. But I still believed that my
father had done that to me on purpose.

The more I thought about it, the more it
made sense. I was fairly certain that he didn’t know what it was he wanted to
get out of me, but he figured that he would get me rattled and see what I
spilled. Unfortunately for both of us, I felt as though he had gotten far more
than he had bargained for.

However, on Wednesday, I figured that I
should probably go to school, because I did want to graduate and sitting around
here doing nothing wasn’t
 
working for me
anymore.

From the moment I went though, I regretted
it.

There were whispers circulating from the
moment that I walked in. Every time I walked down the hall, I heard people
talking about me, but no one had the guts to say anything to my face.

Yet, by lunch, nearly everyone had said
something and I was getting sick of it. So I asked my friends about it. I knew
that they would tell me the truth.

“Have you guys heard anything…weird about
me lately?”

“Well, duh…” One friend that I had for
years spoke up, “practically the whole school knows that you and Valerie were
together.”

“What?” I demanded as I felt the color
drain from my face. “Who told them that?”

I felt my stomach begin to churn into
knots. I wasn’t so concerned for myself, but I was fairly concerned for
Valerie. This whole experience must have been terrible for her.

One of my other, far dumber friends
followed up with, “Dude, that’s awesome! How was it?” He raised his eyebrows
expectantly and it was all I could do not to punch him in the face.

“None of your damn business,” I answered,
trying to control the seething
 
jealousy
coursing through me as I turned around and moved outside to get some air and
think about what was just confirmed.

I heard them continue to talk amongst
themselves, but I didn’t care. The only person I wanted to talk to now was
Valerie.

So as soon as school was over, I made my
way to her car. In fact, I had actually cut out early, just so I could find her
car before she got in it.

When I saw her approaching, I moved up
behind her. “Hey Val…”

She turned around and her face was that of
utter disgust. She rolled her eyes and continued toward her car, far quicker
than her original stride.

I quickened my pace as well and caught up
to her just as she was getting in her car. “Come on, Val. This is important.
I’m sorry…but I really need to talk to you.”

“Well, I have absolutely no inclination to
talk to you,” Valerie answered stubbornly as she started the car that had
inadvertently become the catalyst for this whole terrible situation.

Frustrated, I slammed my hands down on the
driver’s door and squeezed hard as I screamed, “Dammit! I’m not trying to
invade your privacy or your space, I am just trying to get to the bottom of who
told the whole school about us. Did you?”

“Are you kidding? Why would I say anything
like that?” she demanded, glowering at me. “This week has been awful!” It now
looked as though Valerie was close to tears. “And it’s all your fault!”

I felt my heart begin to ache for her and
I felt terrible, since she was right. This was all my fault, but I was not in
the mood to be emotional. Instead, I knew that I needed to fix this. “Well, I
know I didn’t tell anyone…at school, I mean, and you didn’t say anything, then
that means…” As the answer, which was so obvious struck me, I felt as though I
had just been sucker punched again, but by a bowling ball. My eyes grew wide
and my breath cut short. “Oh God…” I gasped and stared at Valerie, before I
answered as the epiphany hit me. “Dalilah!”

Chapter
27

Valerie

Today was turning out to be another day
during one of the worst weeks ever.

I was downright betrayed by Shawn; and
now, his girlfriend, who I had warned him about multiple times, had just made
it worse by telling the whole school about us.

I was disgusted. Even though Shawn looked
as shocked and as angry as I was, I couldn’t even look at him anymore. Instead
of staying to try and figure this out, which I was sure was what he wanted to
do with me, I just turned around and put my foot on the gas of the car that had
become such a bone of contention for us.

When the engine roared and the tires
squealed, Shawn had to jump back so he wouldn’t get hit.

“What the hell?” I heard him yell, but he
was already in my rear-view mirror. At this point, both physically and
metaphorically, that was where I wanted him to stay. I had no interest in
having this guy floating in and out of my life anymore.

He had all but ruined my life by his
betrayal at home, and now, it seemed that his stupid girlfriend, or
ex-girlfriend, whatever she was, was also behind the strange looks that I was
getting in school. This was rather aggravating for me, to say the least.

I sighed as I sat at a light, trying my
best not to scream out loud and bother everyone around me. I knew that wouldn’t
do me any good. I knew that getting angry about the whole thing all over again
was pointless.

After all, we had done what we did and
Shawn had said what he said and that was enough to be angry about. This new
development at school was all a part of the ripple effect from his loose lips;
nothing more.

There
is no use in getting all worked up over a ripple,
I told myself, even though my breathing was heavy and I felt incredibly sick to
my stomach.

I hoped that I would be able to make it
home.

Home,
I thought and rolled my eyes. That concept was nothing to me anymore. Ever
since Shawn had thrown the fact that we had slept together in my mother and
step-father’s face, neither of them had spoken to me after demanding to know if
it was true.

I did think about lying and telling them
that he was crazy. After all, what harm could it do? I already hated him.
However, even at that moment, when I had the choice to throw him under the bus
and run him over as many times as I wanted, saving myself in the process, I
couldn’t find it in my heart to do it. I loved him and that sucked.

The boy that I had grown up with had
turned into a man whose sense of self and morals I completely despised and yet,
I could not do to him what he had done to me. I could not stoop to his level
and try to cut him as deeply as the gashing wound he had left in my heart.

I even opened my mouth to try, utilizing
the searing pain and anguish that I was feeling to feed negative energy into my
words, but unfortunately all I said was a somber, truthful and incriminating,
“Yes, it’s true,” before I ran up to my room and locked the door.

Since then, no one had said a word to me.

I pulled into the driveway, thankful that
no one was here. I got out of the car and took a few calming breaths before I
made my way up the walk toward the house.

I shook my head, trying to think of other
things besides the pain I had in my heart, when I saw the door that Shawn had
slammed on his way out of the house and the table where the whole terrible mess
happened.

However, when I walked in the house, it
was kind of hard to miss the black bags that were piled high in the living
room.

There was a note taped to one of the bags.
Getting a terrible feeling in my gut, I walked over to the note and pulled it
close enough to read.

The letter was typed and it immediately
brought tears to my eyes, for before I even read it, I got the picture of what
was happening and it made me sick.

Valerie,

You
have made your decision and now, we have made ours. You have shown that you
think you can make ‘big girl’ decisions, so here it is.

I
have packed all of your belongings into these bags. You may take them with you,
but you need to find another place to live.

We
cannot live like this anymore. You and Shawn have ruined our family and for
that, right now, it is even hard to look at you.

I
will always love you, but you need to leave. I have to think of myself and my
marriage and so, I am sorry.

Please
be gone by the time Paul and I return home from work, or we will have to take
more adult action.

Mom

By the time my eyes had reached the end of
the letter, I knew I was going to throw up. As I looked up, the world began to
spin and I felt my lunch winding its way back up my throat.

I tried to breathe deeply, but after a few
gasps, I knew it was no use. I ran outside and barely made it off the porch
before I hurled into the flower garden.

I was too sick to even be embarrassed. I
wasn’t sure if anyone could see me, but I didn’t care.

Apparently, I didn’t matter anymore.
According to this note, my mother’s marriage was far more important to her than
trying to help me, her daughter, through a tough time. I couldn’t believe that
mistake could cause such an awful reaction.

I figured that at worst, I would be
grounded indefinitely and unable to even date until I was able to move out. But
as mad as they were at me, I would have never imagined they would kick me out.
That just didn’t make any sense.

However, I had the proof to show that was
what they wanted, what my mother wanted. Once I was finished being sick, I went
back inside to a home that really was no longer my home and rinsed my mouth,
before I started to angrily load the bags into my car.

I didn’t even care what they had to say
anymore. I was taking my car.

If I wasn’t so furious, I would have
probably been proud of myself at the speed that I was able to pack. I felt as
though I was going to be sick again at any moment.

Despite all of that though, besides all of
the anger and all of the hurt that I had bubbling up inside of me, I did not
allow myself to think all that much. I couldn’t allow it, or I knew life would
not go well for me at all. I was already depressed and this had made me feel
worthless. I almost wished that I felt shame as I hauled the bags up to my car,
but I didn’t even feel that. I was past feeling that and therefore, I just felt
worthless.

I figured there was absolutely nothing
that I could possibly do that would make me feel any worse then I felt at this
moment. I felt so alone. Literally everything that I had was completely gone
and I had nothing at all to show for it.

Shawn
and I aren’t even together!
I thought as I hauled one of the
last bags into the back of my car. There were so many different raging emotions
flying around inside of me now, I ended up feeling absolutely nothing.
Overloaded with whatever it was that was going on inside of me, I felt numb and
sick.

However, it wasn’t the kind of numbness
where there was no pain; it was that thick and heavy numbness that made my
limbs almost burn with the effort of having to carry their weight.

With every bag I carried out to the car, I
felt as though another hundred pounds of weights were chained to my body,
dragging it down and making me feel completely useless.

If this didn’t stop, I was sure that I
would eventually just sink into the ground and disappear.

However,
that is essentially what they want, isn’t it?
I thought as I
finally finished with the bags. When I heaved the last one into the car, I
turned around and looked at the house that I had grown up in one last time and
shook my head. There were so many memories in this house, but right now, all I
could think of was the negative.
Wasn’t
that what my mother’s note said? Instead of dealing with the problem and
uniting, like a family should do, they just severed the weakest link.

First
Shawn…now me,
I thought and sighed as I shook my head,
tried not to freak out and made my way to the driver’s side of this stupid car.

I had no idea where I was going to go, but
by this point, I not only needed, but also wanted to be anywhere but here when
my mother and her stupid husband returned.