BUCKED Box Set: A Bull Rider Western Romance (46 page)

“And you were right, Dad. You didn’t
deserve it,” I answered coldly before I threw what was left of my personal
items in my suitcase and started to zip it up.

My father fell silent in an awkward
manner, as though I had just slapped him across the face and was now pretending
I had done nothing of the sort. In a way, I felt that was justified and so, I
just went about my business. I was determined to leave, after all. For once, I
was being completely honest with my father and it felt really good.

However, he said, “You know Ashley, I’ve
made some mistakes in my life and I understand that. Hell, maybe this is all my
fault...the universe getting back at me for a moment of weakness…because you
know, having my wife die and my daughter want nothing to do with me wasn’t bad
enough. But I still can’t fathom how the hell I am supposed to allow you to
continue to fuck your stepbrother, just because I’m a bad father!”

I lost it. I swung around to meet his
irate gaze and narrowed my eyes at him. “If you’re trying to make me feel
guilty, then you can go to hell. And if you’re really just trying to provide me
insight into the way your mind works, then you are even more selfish and
stubborn than I thought.” That was when I threw my hands up and screamed, “How
many more times do I have to tell you that what I did had absolutely nothing to
do with you, Mom, Theresa, or anyone else in our screwed up little household.
What happened was between me and Tyler. We are both adults and I don’t give a shit
what you say! I haven’t given a shit what you had to say since the moment Mom
died, because emotionally, you were nonexistent. You might not have lost me if
you weren’t so wrapped up in your own damn guilt.”

I sighed and took a moment to catch my
breath, but then quickly started again when I thought of more that I wanted to
say. “I would have given anything to have my father back, the one who I could
tell anything to and therefore, I was willing to forgive and forget. I
encouraged you to date, because I thought it would make you feel better, but
then, once you married Theresa, it was like you forgot about the life that you
have. Instead of enhancing your life and helping you to move on, you just used
it as an escape route to start all over.

“But guess what, Dad, I’m still here! I
didn’t disappear when Mom died. I grew into a person who needed to find her own
way in life, in addition to worrying about you and trying to make the best of
the situation I found myself in. The only reason you think I pulled away from
you was because by the time you wanted me again, you had already pushed me so
far away that it didn’t matter to me anymore.”

I stopped and let go a shuddering breath.
I couldn’t believe that I had said that. Everything that had built up inside of
me for so many years was now out in the open and despite what I had always
thought, I didn’t feel one ounce of guilt over it.

In fact, I felt better.

However, I knew from the look on my
father’s face that he wasn’t going to embrace my feelings as I had always hoped
he would. Yet, I wasn’t expecting any kind of tearful reunion, so it didn’t
break my stride.

My father didn’t speak for a long time. He
just sat there and brooded, glowering at me with an angry sense of hurt and
despair.

I knew that I didn’t want him to feel
terrible, especially since I was feeling so good about having my feelings
finally heard, but I couldn’t help the way he felt. I couldn’t make him feel
better and I never could. I finally accepted that about a year after my mother
died, but it wasn’t until now that I had gotten up the strength to tell him
what I was feeling, I knew for as hard as it was to make him feel better, it
was just as easy for me to make him feel badly.

Still, I held my ground and did not look
away. I stared at him, waiting for his reaction to come fully to fruition,
until finally, his red eyes narrowed and he spat in a harsh tone, “Get the fuck
out.”

Even though his words and tone stung, I
managed to stay strong. I nodded once, turned around, grabbed my bag and my
keys, and looked back at him. “Okay.” I walked out the door.

Chapter
42

Tyler

When I got back to the house, everything
seemed ridiculously strained and quiet.

My stepfather was watching television and
didn’t even look at me when I walked in, and I couldn’t find my mother.

After searching downstairs, for I have no
fucking clue what, I started to make my way upstairs, when I heard my stepfather’s
voice yell, “If you’re looking to fuck my daughter again, she’s gone.”

There were about a million different
responses roaming around inside my head that I didn’t say, because believe it
or not, I really didn’t want to start a fight, especially if she was
gone
? I knew that if I fought with the
bastard, I would have little to no chance of getting the information that I
wanted.
Gone fucking where?
I
thought, but didn’t even say that.

Instead, I moved back downstairs and in
front of the television. I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to make
myself look impressive before I squinted my eyes at him. “Excuse me? What did
you just say?”

“You heard me…” my stepfather answered in
a gruff tone.

I felt my muscles tense as I tried my best
not to knock him the hell out. Instead, I just took a deep breath, let it out
and asked, “Okay, fine. I did hear you. The part that I want to know is, where
did she go?”

At this, Ashley’s father stood up and ran
at me.
Oh shit…
I thought as I
automatically moved to block myself.

He swung, stupidly and without the least
bit of form. I blocked it easily and even though I wanted to hit him, I
resisted, knowing that I could easily kill him and that would only escalate the
situation.

I certainly didn’t want to kill another
supposed father figure, after all, no matter how shitty he was at it.

So I just grasped him around the shoulders
and shoved him back into the padded chair.

When he looked back at me, his eyes were
bloodshot and irate. “You son of a bitch!”

“Yeah, but you fucking married her,” I
answered. He insulted my girl. I wasn’t below insulting his, even if she was my
own mother; it wasn’t like I didn’t have the same opinion.

At this, Ashley’s father snarled and
rushed at me again. I expected this and put my hands up to protect myself. Once
again, I grasped him and pushed him back on the couch. “Fucking stop!” I
screamed, “I just want to know where the hell Ashley went! If you’re not going
to tell me, then fuck you. I’ll find her myself.”

I backed away, but continued to keep a
close eye on him. I had a feeling he wasn’t going to be above taking a cheap
shot at me, but as much as I would have liked to beat his face in, I knew that
I shouldn’t. Besides, my body was physically and mentally exhausted.

Right now, all I wanted was a fucking nap.
I didn’t have time for this shit, but instead of taking a nap and ignoring
everything that was going on around me, I decided that I wanted to find Ashley
no matter what.

I took this as improvement.

So, I backed up toward the door.

“Get back here, you worthless piece of
shit!” my stepfather screamed, barreling toward me in a sloppy manner.

I was never one to run from a fight, but
in that moment, when I realized that I had a choice to make — stay and continue
this charade with this asshole, until I got hurt while trying not to hurt him,
or he became seriously injured when I lost control, or get away so that I could
find Ashley quicker — I decided that my real fight was to try to get Ashley
back. To hell with her father.

So I turned quickly and ran out of the
house. My legs immediately began to scream and I wondered briefly what would
happen if they gave out on me, or if I passed out, but I didn’t dwell on that
thought. Instead I just ran, trying my best to get where I needed to go instead
of wasting more of my time.

Thankfully, I naturally ran faster than
her father, so I was able to make it to the front door and slam it in his face
before he came close to catching me.

It was just about then that my adrenaline
kicked in and I was able to continue running, which was a good thing, because
it didn’t take long for my stepfather to open the door and tear off after me.

I was able to outrun him fairly quick, but
I still didn’t want to take any chances. I continued to run down the driveway
and the first side street, before curving back down and going into an ice cream
parlor that was filled with people. I ordered something because I was starving
and tried to text Ashley while I waited, hoping to get lost in the crowd.

I would have liked to think that everything
would have been okay, even if he had caught me, but I really couldn’t have been
sure. Ashley’s father had a sense of crazy in his eye that I knew I didn’t
particularly want to mess with. I knew that I could take him, that wasn’t
exactly the issue. I just didn’t want to take him. I didn’t want to hurt him
and I didn’t want to get so caught up in that line of thinking that I let him
hurt me.

I wondered if he would make an effort to
find me, or now go after Ashley, since he really did appear to have gone
slightly insane, but I couldn’t truly think about that right now. I just wanted
to focus on getting back with Ashley and making things right.

There was no need for either of our
parents to approve, especially if they were going to act like that. In a way, I
was surprised and kind of happy that her father showed me he actually had a
backbone and was willing to stand up to me. But he had chosen the wrong fucking
time to get his tail out from between his legs and take a stand.

If we were supposed to be together, then
it didn’t matter what they thought. It wasn’t like their love-life was filled
with spotless marital bliss.

So, I waited for Ashley to text me back,
but she never did. I tried calling her phone when I was almost finished with my
ice cream, slightly hesitant over who was going to answer, but that went right
to voicemail. I felt a tremble of fear cascade through me.

What
if her father found her…As crazy as he is being…
I
thought at first. Then, I thought,
or
what if she’s really gone?

I shook both thoughts out of my head and
realized that the only way I was going to find her was to get out and look for
her. I left the ice cream parlor and made my way back toward the house.

Her
car is still there…
I remembered,
so unless she took a bus, she couldn’t have gotten all that far…

I made my way back on the beach, knowing
that being spotted here was a possibility, but also realizing that this was the
most likely place for me to find her.

It was getting dark though and I knew that
visibility would take a nosedive as soon as the sun went down.

As I walked along, I continued to try to
call and text her phone, but there was no answer.

So as I made my way toward the back of the
house, fear began to build inside of me.
What
if something happened to her…What if her father made her…go away…Dammit! I
should have fucking been there. I shouldn’t have waited…

When I reached the back of the beach
house, I decided I should
search around the
property, just to make sure that a fit of rage didn’t claim Ashley’s life.

After
all, the dude was pretty fucking quick to resort to violence…
My mind egged my terrible thoughts on as I snuck my way back onto the property.
Was the dickhead trying to tell me
something? He did offer the information that she had left. Maybe it was his sick
way of gloating.
“Shit!” I muttered to myself as I quickened my pace toward
the back of the house.

I looked at the yard and decided that
there was no signs of a fight. For as many fucking fights as I have been in, I
should know.

Once I was satisfied with the way the yard
looked, I noticed a piece of clothing hanging off of the house. It was lacey,
but it looked as though it was discarded in a hurry.

I moved closer to what I soon figured out
was a thong and went to go pick it up, when I heard noises coming from the
garden shed behind me.

I wasn’t sure what the grunts sounded
like, but I felt a bad vibe rocket throughout my body and I knew that I needed
to get over there quickly. I didn’t know what was going on, but it didn’t take
a rocket scientist to realize that people shouldn’t be making those noises in a
shed.

Without thinking, I tore open the door,
ready to fight, and heard a woman scream.

I moved over to the man, who seemed to be
on top of the woman and in the dim lighting, it took me a moment to realize who
the people were. I pulled the man back, but turned around to see my mother with
wide, terrified eyes.

Not sure yet what I was thinking, I looked
over at the other person and realized that it was not my stepfather.

In an instant, everything clicked.

“Oh my God! Tyler please…I’m going to
leave Fred. It’s just a fling, but I know it is wrong…Please don’t tell him…Let
me tell him,” my mother was saying, even before I had actually registered what
was going on.