BUCKED Box Set: A Bull Rider Western Romance (13 page)

Chapter Thirteen - Laci

The first
kiss was incredible. Unforgettable. Even a little unexpected.

Don’t get
me wrong, I was hoping for it, but I wasn’t
expecting
it. So far, Noah has been anything
but
what I expected. And that kiss… There’s just something about a good kiss that
sets you on fire, and that was more than just a good kiss. It was unbelievable.
After our lips had
parted
ways, my brain
was engulfed in flames. Every moment that our lips were pressed together, I
wanted more.
 

But as
much as I wanted more from that
kiss,
after it was done and my head was a little clearer, a little part of me felt a
touch guilty. After all, just a few weeks earlier I had told a guy—one that is
likely a great match for me—that I just couldn’t get involved at this point in
my life. My exact reasoning for saying no to him was that my career was about
to launch and I needed to keep my head on straight; yet there I was, flying off
in all sorts of directions. Wanting things to take off with Noah. And, I really
just met the guy—even hated him at first. Mark, on the other hand, was the
world’s sweetest human being from day one, and we’d practically been attached
at the hip for eleven years.

As
everyone sat around the table eating and talking, I excused myself to go to the
bathroom just to have a minute alone. When I reached the bathroom and shut the
door behind me, I allowed my hand to close over the necklace Mark had given me.
I rubbed my thumb across the back of the mask and thought about the words
inscribed there.
Even at 3 a.m.
Even
at three in the morning, Mark promised to always be there for me, and I didn’t
know if I could expect that of Noah.

Denying
Mark only to fall into the arms of another guy was the last thing I wanted to
do—or planned to do—but for some reason, I couldn’t help myself. There was just
something about Noah, some inexplicable quality that made him irresistible,
even to someone who had spent her life around a guy who was hotter than hot. A
guy who was sweeter than sweet. A guy who would be crushed if I were to start
something someone I just met without even giving him a chance.

I pulled
out my phone and shot a text to Mark:
Hey,
bud, missing you.
Literally seconds later, before I even locked my phone, I
heard a quiet
woosh
and looked down to
find his response.

Hey,
beautiful. Missing you, too. Always. Everything okay?

Leave it
to him to rub it in a little bit, even without knowing it. Almost daily, he
called me
beautiful
and constantly
reminded me that I was loved, even if I wasn’t quite sure the type of love it
was. Deciding that I wasn’t prepared to explain that everything was, but
wasn’t, alright I simply responded with:
Sure
is. Hope your summer’s going alright. :)

Eh, it’d be better if I wasn’t trapped with
this boring co-star I’m working with. Talk about a snooze-a-
thon
.

I smiled
to myself, then responded one more time:
Not
everyone can be the life of the party like me. Anyways, gotta go, talk to you
later.

Alright. Remember, if you need anything…

I read the
message and then clicked the lock button, flushed the toilet so as not to
arouse suspicion, and walked back into the kitchen. I hated lying to Mark and
saying everything was just fine, but what was I supposed to tell him?
No, everything’s not okay. I just had the
kiss of a lifetime from a guy I just met and
I
think
there’s really something there, but I’m not really sure.
Basically, I’m confused as hell; I don’t want to have turned you down and made
a mistake there, but I also think this could really be something with Noah.
And, oh, did I mention how amazing that kiss was?

No thanks,
I’ll pass.

I slid my
phone into my pocket, sat down, and picked up a wing, trying to mask the fact
that my brain was at war with itself. I tore into the chicken like it had beat
up my favorite pet, and Aunt Sara noticed. “Woah, there, missy, you act like I
haven’t fed you in a week.” I stopped mid-bite and looked at the people around
me. Noah was staring at me with a confused glare, Jack was holding back a
laugh, sputtering through his closed lips, and Aunt Sara was shaking her head
as she took a sip of her lemonade. Realizing I’d probably looked like a total
savage, I set down the wing, wiped my mouth, and took a sip of my lemonade.
“Everything alright?” Sara asked.

Not
wanting to mention that I was feeling like a terrible human being with Noah at
the table, I let out a small chuckle and said, “Yeah, I guess that piece was
just a little tough. Sorry.”

Aunt Sara
eyed me suspiciously and nodded. “Okay, but remember next time, you don’t have
to act like you’ve never seen a chicken wing before. And, we do have these
things called utensils. You can use a fork and knife if ya need to; it’s not a
crime.” Jack finally let out the laughter he was holding back and drank down
the rest of his lemonade. I was the only one not finished eating.

“You mind
cleaning up a little, Lace?” Aunt Sara asked.

“Sure
thing,” I told her.

“Awesome.
I want to get into town and back before the crowds get too crazy. Thanks,
honey. You ready to go, Jack?”

“Yes,
ma’am,” he confirmed. His chair slid out with a scratch, and he followed his
mother out of the kitchen. As I heard their voices fade, then the front door
close, I gathered up the plates and started throwing all of the bones into a
bag when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to face Noah and saw those
deep, mahogany eyes of his searching mine.

His stare
was intense and calculating, yet soft and sympathetic at the same time. How
someone can pull off so many conflicting sentiments with their eyes all at once
was beyond me, but his gaze was unwavering. Finally, he spoke. “Something tells
me you weren’t just trying to deal with a tough piece of chicken,” he
concluded.

“What
makes you say that?” I countered.

“Your
eyes,” he said simply.

“What
about them?”

“They look
troubled.”

I’ve
always been a firm believer that looking into someone’s eyes will tell you all
you need to know about them. From the time I was little, my dad always told me,
“If you’re ever not sure what someone’s intentions are, look in their eyes.
You’ll be able to tell.” Being an
actress,
however
, I’ve gotten really good at washing my feelings out of my eyes
and putting on a façade when I need to. How Noah saw past that façade was
beyond me. But he did, and I would feel like an ass if I lied to him.

“They
are,” I admitted.

“Is this
about our kiss?”

“Well, yes
and no.”

“That’s
not vague, at all.”

“I’m not
sure you’re going to like what I have to say.”

He
shrugged. “You can’t please everyone. Spit it out. Even if the truth hurts,” he
said, not actually as aggressively as you’d think.

So, I
spilled my guts.

“Please
everyone? Ha. Ain’t that the truth. The thing is, I hate letting anyone down.
Saying no to someone makes me feel like a complete ass, and I had to do just
that to one of my closest friends. He gave me this charm and told me that he
wanted to give us a shot,” I rattled off, picking up my necklace and showing
the charm to Noah. “Anyway, I’ve known him practically my whole life and I
turned him down so I can focus on my career, and…”

A look of
understanding spread across his face. “And, you’re feeling weird because you
just kissed me and liked it.”

How does he know that?

”Yeah,
basically. And, screw you for automatically assuming that you’re the reason I’m
troubled
,” I finished, making finger
quotes around the last word.

“It’s not
that hard to figure out,” he answered. “I mean, we just shared a pretty
amazing, intense kiss, and then you told me about another guy who’s in love
with you. I can add two and two and get four.”

I laughed
a little. “For a cowboy, you’re pretty smart!”

“Don’t
push your luck, Barbie,” he warned. Standing there laughing with him, I
suddenly felt a little bit lighter. Mark was in love with me, that much was
pretty clear, but he’d always been the kind of guy who would rather that I be
happy. If that meant it was with someone else, I could only hope he would
support me all the way. As much as I didn’t want to hurt him, it was time for
me to do what made me happy.
At
that
moment, I realized that just might be Noah—if I let it be.

I decided
to let him.

Dad had
always reminded me to read a person’s eyes to see how they really felt, but Mom
repeatedly told me it was the little things, the little moments with someone,
that made you realize what a person was really like—those were the things that
could make or break a relationship. Sure, whatever this was with Noah wasn’t
quite a “relationship” yet, but it seemed it could be heading there, and small
moments like this showed promise. We could joke around with each other and call
each other names in good fun, he was really good with Jack—one of the hottest
things a guy can do is show me they’re good with kids—he genuinely seemed to
care about the feelings of others, and he understood why I was troubled about
our kiss. Every one of these little things I knew could add up to something
good. Maybe even something great. And, what better way to keep the moments
going than with the one thing that I knew we had in common.

When he’d
finally stopped chuckling, I asked, “Hey, do you wanna go on a ride? I know
you’ve got to train Greg anyway, so what better way to get acquainted with him
than to ride him?”

His
expression softened. “You sure you’re ready for that?” he asked. “I mean, I
know what kind of memories that has for you and all.”

“That’s
very sweet of you to ask,” I replied sincerely. “But I’m okay. I feel more at
peace now. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’ll actually be over it for a
long
while
if I
ever
get over it, but I think riding will make me feel connected to
Mom as opposed to sad. Almost like I’m paying my respects to her, and in turn,
Dad, as well. Besides, I’m on a ranch for crying out loud, I’ve got to ride. I
think it’s mandatory.”

“Well,
it’s pretty hard to argue with that. Let’s go.”

Well, that was simple enough.
We walked out to the barn in silence,
anticipation buzzing in the air between us. This was going to be my first ride
of my own accord since my parents had passed. I felt slightly
apprehensive,
but ready. I couldn’t deny I was
glad to be sharing the experience with Noah. Something about knowing he was
sympathetic and understanding enough to ask if I was ready meant the world to
me.

When we
reached the barn, I immediately went for Rose’s saddle. She’s the horse I’m the
best acquainted with, but Noah pointed out that she probably hadn’t completely
recovered from giving birth, so I went for Stella instead. He made quick work
of saddling Greg, and a few moments later, we were guiding the horses out into
the afternoon sun and preparing to mount.

“So,
anywhere specific you want to go?” Noah asked.

“Who goes
on a ride with a place to go in mind?”

“Apparently,
not you.”

“And, do
you?”

“Actually,”
he said, swinging a leg over Greg’s back, “I do. You used to come here when you
were younger, right?”

“Yeah,
why?”

“Ever been
to Sand Mountain?”

Sand Mountain…sounds familiar,
I thought. “I’m not sure.”

A grin
spread across his face. “Trust me, if you had, you’d remember. Come on,” he
said, nudging Greg into motion. Suddenly, a small wave of something flashed
through me. It felt like I was betraying my mom. There was no actual reason for
it, I knew she would want me to ride in her absence, but I just froze. Noah
stopped Greg and looked back at me.

“You
alright?”

“Is it
awful for me to be doing this? Riding without her? I mean, I know she would
want me to enjoy riding as much as before, but is it insulting her memory to
enjoy it so soon without her by my side?”

I had no
idea why my emotions were unexpectedly so complex and confusing, but I couldn’t
help it. I felt like a lunatic, switching back and forth so much between being
ready and not being ready to ride.
What
is wrong with me?

Noah
trotted back over to me. I sat there, stroking Stella’s
mane
and trying to pull my head out of my ass.

“Hey,” he
said. “Look at me.” I lifted my eyes to meet his. There was a softness in

them that
immediately disarmed me. “It’s okay. You’re allowed to feel how you feel; you
know that, right?” I nodded slowly. “But, at the same time, you have got to at
least try. It’s obvious you’re feeling all kinds of emotions, and that’s
understandable, but there are few things that allow me to clear my mind like
riding. Maybe that’s what you need—to just do it. Like when you’re about to go
swimming and the water is cold. Sometimes you just need to dive in and get wet
so you get used to the water faster. Think of this as diving in.”