Read Buck Fever (Blanco County Mysteries) Online
Authors: Ben Rehder
Tags: #hunting guide, #chupacabra, #deer hunting, #good old boys, #Carl Hiaasen, #rednecks, #Funny mystery, #game warden, #murder mystery, #crime fiction, #southern fiction, #Texas
DIGGING A HOLE in Central Texas is never an easy undertaking. Typically, you go through about six easy inches of topsoil before hearing the shovel bite into a stubborn layer of limestone. From then on, it's a sweaty, bone-jarring nightmare. It's best left to professionals equipped with power augers and dynamite.
Red and Billy Don finally finished their gruesome task at five o'clock.
Both men had dug their share of holes before, for fence-posts, underground power lines, and the like, but digging a grave…that was an entirely different proposition. Swank had told them to go at least six feet deep. But as the afternoon wore on and each inch of earth seemed incrementally more difficult to excavate, the men quickly agreed that four feet—well, maybe it was really more like three—was just fine.
They lowered the tailgate, removed the tarp, and stared at the corpse underneath. Red looked at Billy Don. Billy Don looked at Red.
“Go ahead and grab hold,” Red said.
“Why do I always get the nasty jobs?” Billy Don fumed.
“All righty, we'll do it together.”
Both men reached slowly for Tim Gray's body, stealing glances at each other like men looking over their shoulders during a duel. Then they each grabbed a leg.
“Fuckin’ gross, man,” Billy Don said. “He's even stiffer than before. Stinks, too.”
“Just think of him as a big white-tail buck,” Red advised.
They dragged the corpse from the truck bed, keeping their heads leaned back as far as possible. Then they plopped the ex-veterinarian unceremoniously into the shallow pit and slowly shoveled the dirt and rock on top.
Afterward, they stepped back and took a look at the small mound of rubble.
“Don't exactly look like the graves out at Miller Creek Cemetery, does it?” Red said.
Billy Don leaned on his shovel, out of breath. “I don't even know the guy, Red, but this don't seem right.”
Red grabbed two cold beers from a cooler in the truck and handed one to Billy Don. After a long silence, Red said, “Maybe we should say a few words. Ya know…Bible kinda stuff.”
“I ain't read much of the Bible,” Billy Don replied.
So Red stepped tentatively up to the grave, removed his cap, and held it over his heart. “O Lord…we're gathered here today to unite…No, wait, that's the marriage deal. Uh, O Lord…please accept this good man into your divine flock up there. Grant him forgiveness for his sins and treat him good, please, and even though he walks through the valley of the Sodomites, he fears no evil. He's walking tall, Lord…and carrying a big stick. Please embrace him, in the name of Jesus and the holy smokes. Amen.”
“Amen,” Billy Don echoed.
Red glanced around furtively, as if to make sure nobody had seen the little religious ceremony. Then he poured the remainder of his beer onto the grave. “Drink up, Bubba. It's the last one you're gonna git.”
At six o'clock, with the sun slipping behind the Central Texas hills, Roy Swank climbed up into the back of a pickup to give a quick speech. He looked out at the crowd—all the guests had now arrived—and was awed by the collection of powerful men surrounding him. He counted four members of the Texas legislature, both of Texas’ U.S. senators, the state attorney general, half a dozen judges, and many captains of private industry. Most of them were sitting at picnic tables in the shade under the towering oak trees next to the large guest house. Some were standing, drinking beer, chatting with old friends, meeting new ones. But the murmur came to a halt when Swank rose to address the crowd.
“Good evening, and thank you for coming,” Swank began, beaming his best smile. “I think I know most of you personally…and most of you know each other. If you don't, I'm sure everyone will get a chance to get acquainted over the weekend. And what a weekend it's going to be.”
Red was beside himself. He and Billy Don were finally getting the chance they had been waiting for. When they had gotten back from burying the vet, Swank had given them strict instructions to stay in the house and keep away from all of his guests. With the welcoming dinner and the socializing and bullshitting that would follow, Red figured they had at least a good couple of hours to rummage through the house.
To be honest, though, Red had kind of lost hope that they would find anything worthwhile. Sure, maybe some cash. But whatever was going on with the Mexicans…well, he had no clue about that. The daydream he had had earlier about Swank fiddlin’ with the genes of big deer? No way. That kind of stuff was accomplished by people over in Germany and Russia and Houston.
But still, it would be good to look around. You never knew what you might find.
As Swank continued with his speech, he began to feel the adrenaline kick in. He was a smooth talker, at his best in the spotlight, and he had used his natural advantage for years in social settings such as this. As a lobbyist, he had gotten more accomplished over toasts and informal addresses than most congressmen did in years of House debates and committee meetings. Up in the truck bed, it felt great to have all eyes on him, and this sense of control yielded the first traces of optimism that he had felt in weeks.
“I've managed, through some kind input from state biologists and God's good grace, to grow some wonderful bucks on this humble ranch of mine,” Swank said, making a sweeping gesture with his arm. “And I've got a feeling several of you will be seeing them through a rifle scope real soon.”
Many of the men nodded and smiled, no doubt picturing a Boone & Crockett deer in the crosshairs. Swank was buoyed even further by their enthusiasm. Yes, he thought, things were finally getting back on track. Oscar and his men had agreed to Swank's proposition. They had left just minutes ago, and Swank thought he could still see the dust lingering in the air from their departure. They would come back at midnight, take the deer with tranquilizer guns, and be gone—all while his guests slept. His worst troubles were almost behind him.
“You find anything yet?” Red was in Swank's master bedroom, peering into dresser drawers, while Billy Don was investigating the gigantic walk-in closet. Red had read somewhere that most people hide their most valuable possessions in the master bedroom.
“Just a shitload of boots,” Billy Don hollered back. “Must be fifty pair of Tony Lamas in here. Gen-yoo-wine ostrich and lizard, too.”
Red appeared in the closet doorway and saw that Billy Don was on the floor pulling on a pair of alligator skins. “Forget the damn boots, wouldya. We ain't got time for that shit. Keep looking.”
Red went back into the bedroom and looked under the oak-frame king-sized bed. Nothing but luggage. He jostled a few of the bags. Empty.
Swank was ten minutes into his speech, rambling on about the three key factors that dictate the growth of a whitetail—genetics, environment, and age. His audience didn't seem too fidgety yet, so he pressed on.
“I've got some beautiful four-and-a-half-year-olds out here, but those deer still have some growing to do. So try to hold out if you can. Wait for the big boys.” Swank made eye contact with an old friend. “And Senator Thomas: Try not to shoot a cow this year.” The crowd chuckled in delight.
“Hey, Red, take a look at this.” Billy Don emerged from the closet holding a cardboard box, a big smile on his face.
Red was on his knees going through a cedar trunk at the foot of the bed. “What is it?”
Billy Don reached in and held up a videotape cassette. “Skin flicks. There's gotta be twenty or thirty in here. This one here is called
Blow White and the Seven Dwarves.
Looks like a real freak show.”
Red considered it for a minute. “Old man don't have no wife. Gotta get his rocks off somehow.”
Billy Don grinned like a schoolboy. “Let's take a look-see.”
Red stood, grabbed the tape from Billy Don's hand and tossed it back in the box. “Goddamn, how many times I gotta tell ya? We ain't got time for that. We're looking for cash or paperwork or something that tells us what's going on out here. Forget the porno movies.”
Billy Don walked glumly back into the closet and stuck the box back on the top shelf where he had found it. Then he had second thoughts and grabbed one of the tapes for later that evening.
AT NINE THAT evening, Sheriff Herbert Mackey fixed himself a stiff drink. The cool liquid would feel good on his aching throat. That Phil Colby was one mean bastard. Talk about a cheap shot…Mackey himself had never even punched a prisoner in the throat. But it was damn sure effective.
All evening, Mackey had considered calling Roy Swank and telling him about Marlin's suspicions and Colby's accusations. But then Mackey realized something he had known all along: For his own well-being, he had to remain completely ignorant about what was going on at the Circle S. Swank made generous contributions to the Sheriff's Department—and some of that money went straight into Mackey's pocket. The unspoken understanding was that Mackey would let Swank run his ranch however he wanted. That meant Mackey had to turn a blind eye to all the importing violations Swank committed with his trophy deer. But Mackey had been stunned by everything Colby had said. No, it was best to remain out of the loop as far as Roy Swank was concerned. Then, if the shit hit the fan, Mackey could honestly say that he had no idea what Swank was up to. Sure, Colby would tell everyone about his visit to Mackey's office…but Mackey could dismiss it as wild speculation. Unless John Marlin showed up with some solid proof. Then Mackey would have to act. Then he'd have to nail Swank to the wall.
Mackey wondered whether he had made the right decision about Phil Colby. He could have had one of the deputies pick Colby up on an assault charge. But Mackey had decided to let it go. His instinct had told him that arresting Colby would be a mistake…it would look like Mackey was protecting Swank in any way that he could. So he had let it pass. But he had vowed silently to get revenge on Colby when the opportunity presented itself. And it always did.
Colby hung out at Marlin's house until ten o'clock. He had been there all day, since his run-in with Sheriff Mackey. He knew that he couldn't go back to his own house…that would be the first place the deputies would look. And Colby was certain they would be looking for him. You can't just assault a police officer and get away with it. Worse yet, Colby had no witnesses to the fact that Mackey threw the first punch.
So he had parked his truck behind a grove of cedars, slipped into Marlin's house through the back door, and tried fruitlessly to figure out his next move.
The house was eerily silent. He kept hoping the phone would ring and he would hear Marlin's familiar voice. But as each hour passed, Colby became more and more convinced that Marlin had gotten himself into some serious trouble. Colby didn't like to think about it, but he knew that Marlin might not even be alive. If Swank was really running drugs, then he was mixed up with some serious scum—men who would do just about anything to protect their business.
Colby felt trapped. Regardless of his suspicions, he still didn't feel confident enough to call the DEA or the FBI or whoever the hell you're supposed to call in a situation like this. What would he tell them, anyway? They weren't likely to raid Swank's home based on Marlin's letter alone. They would want to talk to Marlin first, see what kind of evidence he had.
And in the back of Colby's mind, there was still the smallest trace of a chance that Marlin was just fine. If Marlin reappeared and Colby had called the authorities in on Marlin's behalf, it could be a real disaster for Marlin.
No matter how Colby looked at it, he couldn't come up with a good solution. He couldn't trust Mackey. The one cop he could trust, Bobby Garza, couldn't be reached. It wasn't time to call in federal agents yet. So that left just one option.
He'd go out to the Circle S and figure things out for himself.
Swank staggered out of the massive guest house at eleven o'clock. He had mingled with his guests all evening, drinking scotch, smoking cigars, playing poker…but most of them had turned in by now. A few diehards were finishing one last drink—which they would regret in the morning—out on the front porch under the stars.
By the time Oscar arrived, Swank figured, all the lights would be out, all the hunters snoring in their bunks. The Colombians would take their goods and Swank could quietly put all this nasty business behind him.
He entered the ranch house, locked the door, ambled down the main hall, and heard the wide-screen television playing in the billiards room. He poked his head in and saw Billy Don on the leather sofa and Red in Swank's favorite recliner. Swank shook his head. The imbeciles were watching an infomercial about a male potency drug. Swank had always been amazed at the power of television…you could sell a ten-pound bag of dog shit if you put it in the right package. Maybe that was something he should look into.
Swank started to tell the rednecks to turn the TV off and go to bed…but he decided it would be worthwhile to have them awake at midnight. He didn't expect to see Oscar, but the crazy Colombian was unpredictable. So he left them where they were and groggily continued down the hall to his bedroom.
“D'you hear that?”
“What?” Red replied.
“A door closin’ or sumpin’.”
“Probably just Swank hitting the hay. Don't be so jumpy. The Meskins are all gone. You saw ’em leave, same as me.”
“Sorry we couldn't find nothin’, Red. Maybe they was just here to buy a horse or sumpin’. Maybe that's all it was.”
Red stifled a yawn. He'd had too many beers and was fading fast. The whole evening had been a letdown. They hadn't even been able to find any cash. “You seen any horses out here?”
Billy Don shook his head.
“Well, then…how the hell they gonna buy one?”
“Maybe they done bought ’em all.”
Red started to reply but realized it was futile. His heart just wasn't in it. So he swigged his beer and sat in silence.
“Hey, Red?” Billy Don called to him.
Red didn't reply.
“Red?”
“What?” Red said, like he was talking to a pesky younger brother.
“Know what I wanna do?”
“Does it involve Wesson oil?” Red asked, “’cause I've always told you I'm not into that.”
“Very funny,” Billy Don said, sitting up straight on the leather sofa. “I wanna watch one of them skin flicks.”
Red started to make a smart-ass remark but, frankly, it sounded pretty good to him, too. “You're too late. Swank's back and they're all in his bedroom closet.”
Billy Don grinned and held up the black videocassette. “All exceptin’ this one.”
“You awake?” Marlin asked.
“Yes,” Becky murmured. “And a little scared.”
Marlin was reclining with his back against a wall and Becky had her head in his lap. Looking down, he could see her gorgeous features in the glow of the Coleman camping lantern. Luis, their captor, had been kind enough to give them a few provisions…the lantern, a couple more blankets, more water…he had even given Marlin his wristwatch and wallet back. But regardless of Luis’ friendly demeanor, Marlin knew that a criminal was a criminal. You could never be sure of what he might do next. So Marlin had decided it was time to do something about their situation. A few hours ago, they had agreed to wait until Luis had gone to sleep—judging by when the campfire had burned down—and then put their plan into action. Catch him when he was groggy.
Marlin stroked Becky's hair and his heart fluttered with mixed emotions…the thrill of having discovered this wonderful creature versus the fear of losing her. “I want to tell you again how sorry I am about all this. If I had had any idea…”
“Hush,” she said, rolling onto her back, placing a finger on his lips. “It's not your fault.”
He leaned down and they kissed. It was heaven—and he wondered if it would be the last time.
Marlin slipped out from underneath Becky and peered through the slender crack around the door. “Looks like the fire is fading.” He tried to sound confident. He glanced at his watch. “Let's give it another half hour…till midnight. Then we'll get the hell outta here.”
It was eleven-forty. Oscar and his men had driven aimlessly around the Central Texas countryside for more than five hours, making one stop for dinner at a barbecue joint outside of Fredericksburg. Now Oscar had heartburn to go along with his increasingly foul mood.
Oscar was becoming more and more anxious as they approached the main entrance to the Circle S Ranch. He knew he had already wasted far too much time. The time to act had come. He would take what was his…and show no mercy to anyone who tried to stand in his way.
The ranch gates were open and Julio pulled Oscar's rented Cadillac onto the dirt road. Even the suspension system of the big luxury car was not immune to the rugged terrain, and it bounced and rocked in the ruts of the road. Oscar cursed at Julio in Spanish, telling him to slow down. Julio simply stared at his dark form in the rearview mirror as he eased off the gas pedal.
At a fork in the road, Julio turned toward the ranch house. “You fool!” Oscar barked. “We mus’ get Luis first. He is the bes’ marksman. Go to the cabin.” Julio swung off the road into some weeds and found his way onto the alternate path.
Oscar knew this whole thing with tranquilizer darts would be frustrating and time-consuming. He had contemplated not even bothering with tranquilizers—just open fire with the deer rifles and a spotlight. But he simply couldn't risk that much noise, even with Swank's connections to the sheriff. They would need to use the tranquilizer gun and Luis was the best man for the job.
“What about the game warden and the woman?” Tyler Jackson asked with interest. “Who's gonna watch ’em?” He had been hoping to draw a little guard duty himself. The woman was a knockout…all he had to do was tie the game warden up for a few minutes and…
“We will do what must be done,” Oscar said sharply, as if he knew what Tyler was thinking.
Oscar berated Julio again as the Cadillac bottomed out on limestone. The lesser-used road would be no problem for a truck or SUV, but it was slow progress in a car.
“Que hora es?”
Oscar asked to nobody in particular.
Julio glanced at his watch. “Eleven-fifty.”