Brutal Precious (Lovely Vicious #3) (27 page)

“Boy, you really suck at this being subtle stuff,” Charlie says behind me. I hide behind a pillar.

“Go away,” I hiss. “Shoo!”

“Do you have bipolar disorder or multiple personality disorder or something? Because you’re usually a lot chattier than this.”

“No, but I do get a headache when people say too many dumb things to me all at once.”

“You know, thanks to you, we didn’t get as much info as we could’ve outta Brittany. You seduced Jack away and sort of ruined our entire plan. We were gonna have her plant a bug on Will’s computer. Now we gotta do it the hard way.”

“What’s the hard way?”

“Sneak in. Ugh. I hate sneaking.”

“You were pretty shitty at it in the forest,” I agree.

“I was chasing you.”

“Well, it didn’t feel like a chase, that’s how sucky you were.”

“You screamed.”

“We all make mistakes sometimes.”

He rolls his eyes, and I stamp my foot.

“Look, it’s great you are here, and doing things like breathing, but I really must go.”

I take the stairs two at a time, leaving him behind to ponder his life mistake of ever speaking to me.
 
I open the paper bag in my room, the keylogger a flat black plastic bit no bigger than my thumbnail.

“Is that a piece of poop?”

I whirl around and hide the keylogger in between my fingers. Yvette is sitting on her bed, painting her nails their usual cheery death-vampire black.

“It’s a bargaining chip for my soul,” I say. “I’m playing a high stakes game against Satan! It’s actually kind of invigorating. Do you wanna help?”

Yvette shoots me a doubting look. “Like, horns and red skin and big scary fork Satan?”

“Sort of. Think more hair and less pointy bits but exactly the same level of evil.”

“So, a guy.”

“Yup. I gotta get in his room and plant something in it, but I don’t wanna get trapped. Because he will trap me in there if he can help it, since he enjoys watching me squirm.”

“Fucking sadist,” Yvette spits. “Okay, so you go in there, and I bust you out. Right?”

“Subtlety.”

“What does that mean?” She wrinkles her nose.

“It means instead of busting down his door and alerting him to the fact I’ve planned this and am messing with his shit, you gotta make a distraction.”

“Who’s making a distraction?” Diana asks as she walks in. “And can I help?”

“You’re hired,” I point at her. Yvette fills her in as I dig in my closet for an appropriate battle outfit. Something cute, but not too cute. I want to remind him of what he ruined, distract him with his own ‘triumphs’ long enough to blind him a bit. I pick dark skinny jeans and a tight shirt, even though it makes me sick to my stomach to think of baring any of my curves in front of him. This is for Jack. This is so he doesn’t end up in jail.

“We could pull the fire alarm,” Diana says. “The boy’s dorm will empty fairly quickly, and I doubt even someone like this guy will want to stick around with that siren in his ear.”

“Perfect. God, you’re a genius. My girlfriend is a genius,” Yvette kisses her on the cheek. Diana blushes.

“Oh, stop.”

Yvette goes over to the window and opens it, yelling.

“MY GIRLFRIEND IS A GENIUS!”

My mouth is a happy open ‘o’ as I look at Diana, whose blush is now frozen on her shocked face. It’s a bold move full of courage and love, and it’s so different from the Yvette I know, who whispered her secret to me from over a pillow months ago. Diana gets up and they start kissing, and I clear my throat only when I see bits of tongue.

“Ahem! Payback Brigade, attention!”

They both laugh, trying to separate and turn towards me in a salute all at once, but they bump noses and legs and then we’re all laughing on the floor, and I know without a shred of doubt I’ll be alright.

No matter what happens after tonight, I’ll be okay.
 

Yvette and Diana agree to pull the fire alarm exactly seven minutes after I go into the dorm. That gives me two minutes to get up the stairs, and five minutes to chat Will up enough to distract him and plant the keylog. But if I fuck up –

I shake my head. No fucking up! Not on the menu. Not now, now ever. Never was. Fucking up is the fish sticks of the Life Options restaurant menu – nobody orders it, and nobody likes it. And if you do order it, it was an accident and you regret ever living.

I rush up the stairs and forcefully catch my breath outside Will’s room. I smooth my hair and try to look like I didn’t just run straight up three flights. My hands are shaking. I feel like I’m going to puke.

And then my cellphone goes off.

I scrabble to answer it before it alerts Will.

“Hello?” I whisper, moving away from the door.

 
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jack snarls, sounding as though he’s walking very quickly. “Get out of there, right now.”

“Don’t come here,” I demand. “I’m serious, Jack. Stay away. How did you even -”

“Charlie told me you were acting strange. Isis, you can’t go in there with him. You need to stay the hell out of this. It’s my job! Not yours! You could get hurt!”

“It’s worth it,” I say. “If I do this, you’ll be okay. So. Just let me do it. Please.”

“No! No, I’m coming to get you –”

“Jack,” I hiss with all the force I can muster. “You ran away after Sophia’s funeral because you needed to. I need to go in there now. Alone. It’s the same.”

Jack’s silent, then lets out a feral snarl of frustration. “No.”

“Yes.”

“No, Isis,
please
no.”

“He won’t hurt me this time.”

“You don’t know that!”

“I don’t. You’re right. I don’t know anything. I don’t know if the sun will rise tomorrow, or if I’ll contract some horrible disease or get hit by a car, or if Will might hurt me. I don’t know where I’ll be in three years, and I sure as hell dunno where I’ll be in ten. I don’t know if Game of Thrones will ever be finished! I don’t know if anyone I love will die soon, and I don’t know if a meteor is gonna come down and smite us all into ash. I don’t know if the world will spin off its axis and hurl into space and we’ll slowly freeze. I don’t know if I’ll have eggs tomorrow for breakfast or not.” I laugh. “But I do know I love you. That’s….that’s really the only thing I
do
know.”

“Isis –”

“Please, Jack. Let me do this. I’ll come back in one piece. I promise.”

“You
promise
,” he says, his voice hopeless and small and steely.

“I promise, idiot.”

“I love you,” He says. “God, I fucking love you.”

Jack hangs up first. I hang up last, and face the door at the very last. Except there’s no door. There’s only the chest of Will Cavanaugh in front of my face. I back up quickly, and he chuckles.

“Isis! So good of you to come. I heard your voice and was concerned, so I came out to check, and lo and behold, here you are! What a pleasant surprise.”

I set my expression, trying to make it unreadable.

“I want to talk to you. In private.”

“Of course you do.” He smirks. “Let’s go. My roommate’s out getting dinner.”

He leads me to his room, and shuts the door behind me.

“Don’t lock it,” I say, feigning a hint of terror in my voice. But he does anyway, double checks the lock, and smiles.

“Can’t have you running off now, can we? We have important things to discuss!”

Will claps his hands and sits on the bed, and motions for me to sit on his chair near his desk. And his computer. Bingo.

“So!” He says. “Should you start, or should I? Or will you just sit there struck dumb like you always do and let me walk all over you?”

“That would be nice for you, wouldn’t it?” I snarl. He makes an ‘oooh’ noise.

“So you’ve got some spark back in you, huh? And here I thought I’d gotten rid of it all. Such a shame.”

“You’re not worth the breath it would take to speak to you,” I say. “But I’m going to do it anyway, because this was something I should’ve said a long time ago to you.”

“Oh, let me guess! Is it one of your resounding ‘fuck you’s? I love those so much. I miss those, you know. Hearing them from a fat, nasty blob like you was truly entertaining.”

“Is that all you care about? ‘Entertaining’?”

He taps his chin thoughtfully, then nods. “Yes! Fun things are the only important things in the world. If you can’t have any fun with it, then it’s useless and should be discarded promptly. That’s only fair.”

Will gets up, circles me, then grabs my hand. I pull away, panic making my muscles strong, but he rips my fingers open and grabs the keylog from it.

“Well now, what’s this?” He laughs. The hope punches out of me in a single hard burst.

“It’s n-nothing,” I scrabble. “Just a piece of dirt –”

“It’s a keylog. Did you really think I didn’t know? I saw you and that disgusting creep walking around, kissing and making stupid fucking faces at each other, and I knew he was getting you in on this. He’s after me, and his fucking partner’s after me, and now you’re after me. But it won’t work, because –” He snaps the keylog in two, grin wide. “I’m just that much smarter than you.”

I stare at the fracture remnants of my hope as Will flops on the bed again and sighs.

“I could never be as entertaining as you though, piggy.”

“Is that all….is that all I was to you?” I choke. “Entertaining? Nothing about us – not one single time was because you liked me?”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. I liked you very much.” He smiles. “I thought you knew that.”

“But you – you can’t like someone and call them names. You can’t like someone and –”

“Yesss?” He leads. “Go on. Say it.”

I take a breath, the deepest breath. I fill my lungs with strength, with Jack’s smell and memories of his laughter and his hands, of Diana and Yvette’s laugh, of Kayla’s teary smile. I look Will in the dark eyes and hold my gaze there.

“You can’t like someone and rape them.”

“But you can,” He protests. “It’s really too bad you thought about it as rape! I was trying to have sex with you! That’s how much I liked you!”

My instinct is to squeeze my eyes shut, to block out the memories, but I force myself to unblinkingly stare at him, through him.

“I told you to stop. I said it clearly many times.”

“It’s true. You did. But girls don’t really know how good it is, so they say stop. But they don’t really mean it. That’s why I got mad. That’s why I had to do it – because you kept saying stop. Because you were a stupid little girl who kept changing her mind and didn’t know what she wanted.”

His words turn to a hiss, his anger refreshing. This is the real him, the one he hides behind the boisterous laughter and genial good-boy front and fake grins.

“I wasn’t stupid,” I say slowly. “I just didn’t want you.”

He stands all at once, tall and exploding from the bed.

“You did.”

“No,” I smile. “I didn’t.”

Will has no control over himself. He just puts a silk screen over his ugly face and hopes people won’t look or pry too hard. But I’ve pried the hardest. I’ve stabbed him where it hurts, deep in his ego, and his handsome faces twists into an ugly mockery - a gargoyle, a vampire of old.

“You fucking bitch!” He slams his hands on his desk. The computer rattles. “You were a fat, fucking ugly bitch! You were lucky I even let you hang around! You were so fucking lucky I even
wanted
to touch your fat, stinking carcass! No one else did. No one else does. Not even that fucking pretty boy. He’s just fucking you because he pities you. He sees how pathetic and ugly you are, and he’s taking pity on your piggy ass!”

I sit still, transfixing my eyes on his face, not away from it. I always used to look away, too afraid that his face, his every finger, or his eyes would bring up memories. Will puts his red, furious face in mine, and it’s all I can do to not bolt up and dive through the open window away from him.

“I had you first!” He seethes. “He’s got my trash, my discarded meal, my fucking
garbage
! You’re nothing. You’re nothing without me. I got you friends, I got you popularity, I fucking taught you how to smoke and drink and steal and not be a pathetic fucking loser. You’re mine! You’re mine, and to anyone else you’re an empty, useless bitch.
Fucking. Useless. Garbage.
”

With his every word something deep inside me starts to come loose. It’s hardened and dark, like old amber on the skin of a tree, and it wiggles free bit by bit. Will laughs, an insane sound.

“You liked it. I know you fucking liked it, you whore.”

And with that the dark thing pops free, off the bark of my insides, and floats up and away, out of me, out of the top of my head, and I suddenly feel so light and exhausted.

Whatever Will used to be in my memories, whatever he’d done to me in the past, suddenly lets its grip on me go, and disappears into the air.