Brush of Angel's Wings (45 page)

Nathaniel fanned his wings, creating a soft breeze. “God is the Alpha and Omega. The beginning and the end. He alone holds someone's future in His hand. He alone gives the breath of life.”

Rachel moved away from the window. “God, please direct my steps. Make the path so obvious that someone as simple as me can see the right way. I want your will for my life.
Aemen
.” Reaching the door handle, a warm gentle breeze washed over her, filling her with peace.

Rachel entered the kitchen as
Mamm
and
Daed
were sitting down for breakfast. She glanced around the room. “Where's Jordan?”

Daed
frowned and lifted up a piece of paper. “He left a note in the barn that said he had to take care of something.”

Rachel's heart grew heavy.
I will follow where you lead, God
.

Mamm
and
Daed
exchanged glances.
Mamm
made a slight nod at
Daed
and he cleared his throat.

“Have a seat, Rachel. I want to talk with you,” he said.

Rachel pulled the chair out from under the table.

The lines across
Daed's
forehead wrinkled. “Have you
kumm
to a decision about marrying Timothy?”

Rachel's throat dried.
Have I, God?

Mamm
set a cup of coffee in front of Rachel. “We're concerned about your happiness.”

“You don't want me to marry Timothy?” Rachel looked from her mother over to her father. “Ella needs a mother.” She tapped her chest. “I can do that. I need to do something.”

“You have,”
Mamm
said. “You've been a great help with Ella.”

Rachel bowed her head. “I feel guilty. When Sadie was sick, I only prayed that she wouldn't lose the
boppli
. I should've been praying for her as well.”

Mamm
sat next to Rachel and reached for her hand. “I prayed for Sadie. But God's decision is final, and even though we don't know his reasoning, we still trust him.” She squeezed Rachel's hand. “Don't let guilt guide your decision.”

Daed
stroked his beard. “Have you prayed about marrying Timothy?”

“Jah
,
”
she replied softly.

His expression sobered. “Are you in love with Jordan?”

Rachel closed her eyes.
God, help me
.

A knock sounded at the door.

Rachel began to get up, but
Mamm
patted her hand. “Let me answer it,”
Mamm
said.

From the entry,
Mamm
commented about Ella's alertness as she carried her into the kitchen. Timothy agreed, saying her eyes now followed his every move.

“Gut mariye
,
”
Timothy said.

“Fine day, ain't so?”
Daed
said. “Have a seat.”

Timothy smiled at Rachel. “
Jah
, this is a fine day.”

“I'm going to rock
mei
granddaughter in the sitting room.”
Mamm
removed Ella's blankets.

Timothy pulled a bottle from his pocket and handed it to
Mamm
. “I
kumm
prepared with the essentials.”

Daed
glanced at Rachel. His forehead lines deepened. After
Mamm
left the room with Ella, he turned to Timothy. “I suppose you've
kumm
to talk with me.”

Rachel's face heated.
Daed's
prodding was awkward.

Timothy looked at Rachel and smiled. “Actually, I've
kumm
to talk to Rachel.”

Rachel froze. She never expected a bitter taste to rise from her stomach.

“Can we take a walk?” he asked quietly.

She nodded and stood. With her head bowed to avoid eye contact, she walked to the door.

Timothy followed. Once they were outside, he reached for her elbow, but he held his words until they were on the path leading to the river.

“Rachel, you've been so
gut
caring for Ella. These last few days without you have been hard.” He cleared his throat. “Having to muddle through with my clumsiness, I can assure you, Ella missed you.”

“I've missed her too.”

He reached for her hands and squeezed them gently. “You've put purpose back in
mei
life.
Denki
.”

His voice sounded nervous but cheery. He squeezed her hands, then released them. “I realized I can care for Ella. I'm
nett
saying it won't be hard.” He shrugged. “But I think we've grown accustomed to each other.”

Rachel smiled. “I'm happy for you, Timothy.”

“And I'm happy for you,” he said. “I hope you will still watch Ella while I'm working. I can bring her here in the morning.”

“I don't understand.” Rachel eyed him closely, but he continued to smile.

“I will never love you the way Jordan loves you.”

Rachel's eyes watered. “How—”

“He woke Bishop Lapp early, then he stopped by
mei haus
after.”

“He did?” She blotted her eyes with her sleeve.

“Jah
,
”
Jordan said, walking up the trail. “I wasn't letting you go unless I knew Timothy loved you—like I love you.”

“Is this really all right with you, Timothy?”

“I know what my Sadie would say . . . and she was a very wise woman.” Timothy touched the brim of his hat. “I'll see you both later.” He gave Jordan a nod, then split off to return to the house.

Jordan came up beside her and brought her into his arms. “I love you,” he said and kissed her forehead.

“I love you too.”

He pulled back, his eyes searching hers. “Will you be my date at the next singing?”

She laughed. “Are you going to sing?”

“
Jah
, I promise.” He gave her a quick kiss. “I figure we have eighteen weeks to date while I take the baptism classes.”

“And after your baptism?”

“Will you be
mei fraa
, Rachel Hartzler?”

Everything inside her melted and came together all at once. But she didn't want to give her answer just yet. “Well, I don't know.”

“You don't know?” He looked baffled.

“There is the question of Smokey. You know I love that cat and you're allergic to him.”

He laughed. “
Jah
, I am. But I will sneeze the rest of my life if it means I can be married to you.”

“Well then!
Jah
, absolutely. I will marry you, Jordan Engles.” She clasped her hands behind her back and swayed. “And Smokey can go live with
Onkel
Isaac.”

He picked her up and whirled her around. When he put her down, he kept his arms around her waist and his face grew serious. “Did I tell you I'm
nett
a
gut
farmer? You might have to deliver every one of the calves.” She laughed. “Did I tell you I can't cook? You might have to make chicken and eggplant parmesan every night.” He kissed her cheek. “Then we're perfect for each other.”

Nathaniel unfurled his wings, hovered a short time over his charges, then returned to his station in the ethereal realm where he would wait for God's call to intervene again.

Acknowledgments

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

P
HILIPPIANS
4:13 NKJV

A
s
Brush of Angel's Wings
came together, I often quoted this scripture, many times in the form of a plea. God's grace and His renewing of my strength never cease to amaze me. To Him, above all, I give thanks.

God has blessed me with a multitude of support from my incredible family and friends. My husband, Dan, your ongoing encouragement, support, and guidance have lifted me to reach higher levels.

Lexie, you are a tremendous help, especially now that you have your driver's license! Thanks for helping around the house and running errands.

Danny, you stand taller than I do, but you'll always be my miracle baby. I'm so proud of you.

Sarah, sometimes faith is difficult to measure until you're forced to walk through fire. I am so proud of the way you handled your “trial by fire” this past fall. What strength you displayed.

Betty Reid, thank you for helping to shuttle the kids to school and football practice while I worked to finish this book.

Kathy Droste, you are such a blessing. Thank you for correcting my first draft. Paul Droste (Dad), thanks for believing in me and setting up book signings.

The unconditional love and encouragement from my mother, Ella Roberts, taught me never to give up. Thanks, Mom and Bill, for your ongoing prayers and support.

To my wonderful friends, prayer warriors, and critique partners. You each know the important role that you played in bringing
Brush of Angel's Wings
to print. Susanne Dietze, Joy Elwell, Andrew Fitzmorris, Sarah Hamaker, Virginia Hamlin, Laura Hilton, Bob Kaku, Linda Maran, Anita Merchant, Donna Mumma, Ella Roberts, Gail Sattler, Mary Ann Stockwell, Linda Truesdell, Jennifer Uhlarik, and Quanda Watson.

Thank you, Mary and Simon Thon, who introduced me to the Amish while I lived with them during my college years, and to my Amish friends of Mecosta County, Michigan, who invited me into their homes.

I especially appreciate my agent, Mary Sue Seymour, and my publishing family at Thomas Nelson. Natalie Hanemann, you are truly an extension of God's grace and a powerhouse of encouragement. I'm honored to have you as my editor. Lissa Halls Johnson, you've guided me through each phase with patience and prayers. I've learned so much from your editing expertise. Thank you! From concept to marketing, the entire fiction team at Thomas Nelson is an awe-inspiring group of prayerful people who exemplify God's love.

Reading Group Guide

1. How did Rachel's thoughts and attitudes toward Jordan encourage Tangus? Does what you say or how you act block the enemy's attack or give him more leverage to manipulate your life?

2. Rachel recognizes her jealously of Jordan and prays for forgiveness, but it isn't long before she finds fault with him again while trying to justify her wrongful thoughts. How often in your spiritual journey have you recognized the sin in your life and prayed about it only to fall back into your sinful ways? What does Jesus tell us to do?

3. Rachel's rash decision caused her father's injury. Can you think of a time when you've unintentionally hurt someone with your hasty actions? What about untamed words—can they be as hurtful?

4. What two things in James 4:7 are we instructed to do? When we resist the enemy, what must he do?

5. How do believers have authority to defeat the enemy? (Matthew 28:18; Luke 9:1; Colossians 2:15)

6. Describe how the adversary (Satan) seeks those whom he may devour. (1 Peter 5:8–9)

7. God has equipped believers to stand against the devil's deceit, but as believers, we must actively put on the full armor. Can you list the pieces of the armor and describe its protective abilities.

8. In John 10:10, what does the enemy come to do? What does Jesus offer? Describe what it means to live in spiritual abundance.

9. In the parable of the sower (Matthew 13:3–23; Mark 4:2–20; Luke 8:4–15), what did Jesus say the seed represented? What happened to the seed that fell amid the thorns? Compare that to the seed that fell on good ground. How fertile is your soil? Are you producing fruit?

10. Psalm 91:11 assures believers of what?

11. How much importance did Rachel's relatives place on her inability to cook, sew, and keep a tidy house? Have you ever struggled to overcome a specific deficiency? What helped you change your circumstances?

12. Jordan and his mother lost everything after his mother became ill. How did losing his belongings affect his adult life? Was he jealous over Kayla's lifestyle? Can you think of a time you coveted something that didn't belong to you?

13. Jordan's desire to belong caused him to teeter between a worldly and Amish lifestyle. What happened that satisfied his search?