Brunette Ambition (2 page)

Family vacation with my mom and dad.

As the little girl in
Ragtime
, my second Broadway show.

My dad and Slash at the Super Bowl.

My mom and Aunt Carmela at my baptism.

FINDING ROLE MODELS

When I was growing up, nobody on the popular television shows looked like me. My favorite show was
Saved by the Bell
, and while I adored all of the kids in those high school halls, I couldn’t see myself in any of them. I’m sure people would expect that would make a girl sad, but my mom made sure that I saw there was a world outside of basic cable. She was always playing old movies like
West Side Story
and
Funny Girl
, which is how I came to discover women like Natalie Wood and Barbra Streisand. (In fact, my parents used to tell me that I seemed like I could be the love child of Jim Carrey and Natalie Wood.) Seeing those women act brought out a light inside of me and made me feel so alive: There was something about them that reminded me of myself. I was gawky and awkward like Barbra but understood that she was still considered beautiful, which I found so comforting. When I watched
Funny Girl
, it totally resonated with me that Barbra’s sense of humor is the thing that makes her so attractive. And once I eventually realized I could sing, Natalie and Barbra spoke to me even more: I wanted to do what they did. I would reenact the scene in
West Side Story
when Maria stands over Tony’s body constantly. While some of my friends were living in the world of
90210
with cute boys and tons of hairspray, I was living in the world of
The Wizard of Oz
with singing trees and ruby slippers. One of the things about
Glee
that’s so great is that it presents a high school world that’s so varied, so wonderfully odd, so multicolored and dimensional, that I know kids everywhere can see themselves reflected back. Search the world for a role model until you find someone who resonates with your soul: It’s so important, and so
comforting
, to have lampposts in this world who can light the way.

THE DAY I MET BARBRA

In January 2011, Barbra Streisand was honored at the Grammys, and as is the tradition there was a MusiCares benefit on her behalf a few nights before the ceremony. I was invited to sing, since my love for Barbra is pretty well-known, which was incredibly exciting. There was a plethora of incredibly talented musicians on the roster, who were all doing renditions of her songs: Faith Hill, Stevie Wonder, Seal … and so I sang “My Man,” from
Funny Girl
, which is my favorite song in the entire world. And there she was in the audience, right in front of me. I was incredibly nervous—there was nothing that could have fully prepared me to sing in front of my idol—but I was so honored and happy to be on that stage that I just powered through my performance.

I was hoping to meet her that night, but she was surrounded by a sea of people, and as I made my way toward her, her team whisked her away. I figured I had lost my chance forever.

I attended the Grammys a few nights later because I was presenting an award; Barbra sang four songs that night, and “Evergreen,” which I love, was one of them. It was the first time I had ever heard her sing live. I left the Grammys early, in order to avoid the post-event valet rush, and was standing there in the quiet before the storm waiting for my car when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, and it was Barbra. And she said, “I just wanted to say thank you for introducing me to your generation.” And I gave her a big hug and told her that I thought she was amazing, and she looked at me and asked, “Did I sound good tonight?” And I said, “You were incredible.” And that was it. The minute she walked away, I started to cry hysterically. Sometimes you meet your idols and they don’t live up to your expectations, but that moment was one of the best in my life. As soon as my car pulled up I called Ryan Murphy to tell him that it was over: I had met Barbra and didn’t need to be in this business anymore. All my dreams had come true.

Sometimes you meet your idols, and they don’t live up to your expectations, but that moment was one of the best in my life.

This past November, Chris Colfer and I went to see her at the Hollywood Bowl with Dante Di Loreto, one of the producers from
Glee
. It was a gorgeous night to sit under the stars and listen to Barbra; she sounded so beautiful and seemed so relaxed. Chris and I held hands the entire time and cried, especially when she sang “Happy Days Are Here Again,” which Chris and I sang on
Glee
together and performed during all the
Glee
concert tours. At the end of the concert Chris wanted us to go backstage to say hi, but I didn’t want to mar my perfect moment of meeting Barbra at the Grammys. Plus, the mere
idea
of being in her presence makes me extremely nervous. So I chickened out. A few weeks later, I checked my mail and Barbra had sent me a copy of that night’s program with a note on it that said: “Thank you for coming to my show, I wish you would have come backstage, I would have liked to have given you a hug.” And then I really died.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Funny Girl:
I love the story of a woman who struggles between love and her career. Plus, the music is just incredible.

Almost Famous:
My parents grew up in a culture of concerts—they went to tons. And from that, my father has a deep classic rock obsession … Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd, the Who. This was the musical vocabulary of my childhood.
Almost Famous
really brings that era to life, and also just happens to have a great story and some incredible acting by Kate Hudson.