Brother/Sister (13 page)

He didn’t ask about the bike, though. Instead, as he poured the detergent in and turned on the dishwasher, he said, “So, bacon and eggs?”

“Sure,” I said. “Whatever. Hey, don’t you have to be at that job?”

“Eight thirty. I’ve got time. Not to eat, but to cook up a meal for you, anyway.”

I nodded my consent.

“Scrambled? With garlic and cheddar, that’s how you like’em, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, then. Bacon and scrambled eggs for one, coming right up.” Keith is even more aggravating when he’s trying to be all folksy and dad-like. “Hey, where’s Asheley, anyway?” he said.

So, it was going to come after all. “What do you mean?” I said.

“She’s not here.”

“How do you know?”

“I checked on her, man.”

“Did you check on me too?”

“Naw. Your door was shut. Anyway, Asheley’s my girl, you know? I check on you and you might pull a gun on me.”

“Good one.”

“So, what, is she off getting some nookie with that surfer dude of hers?”

He was hovering over the pan, dropping bacon strips into it. His back was turned to me. I had to just assume and pray he wasn’t fishing.

“Yeah, that’s it,” I said.

He wheezed. “I would be too.”

“Craig. His name’s Craig. And she’s not off getting ‘nookie’ with him. She’s at her friend Naomi’s house,” I said. That was safe. There’d be no checking up. Keith didn’t know Naomi. “They’re having a sleepover.”

“That’s what she said,” Keith said in his best Steve Carell imitation, then he glanced at me and grinned. “She’s getting nookie.”

“Whatever, man. Ash is a good girl,” I muttered.

And that was it. He made the eggs, he left. I sat there trying to figure out if I was hungry or not.

It was good to have him gone.

And also, I’d surprised myself a little. I’d played it pretty cool. It seemed like, maybe, I was getting better at this not freaking out every two seconds thing.

What I really wanted to do was to shuffle back upstairs and cuddle up in bed with Asheley. To slide my arm around her waist and spoon her. Just snuggle all morning, maybe doze off again. But, I don’t know, that seemed dangerous to me. Too much, too soon, or something. It seemed icky.

Like I said, I didn’t want her to get the wrong impression.

On Friday night,
Naomi showed up unannounced at the house. She had the waistband of her sweats provocatively rolled down, her hair clipped up out of her lightly made-up face, her everything just so carefully planned to look casual and accidentally sexy.

I almost teared up when I opened the door and saw it was her. It was just so nice to see someone besides Will.

She gave me a silly, sort of coy little wave, and peering over my shoulder, shouted across the house to Will. “Hey there, superstar. I made it!”

All afternoon, Will and I had been playing
Halo
—or Will had been, anyway, trash-talking into his headset and racing around that eerie, glowing, bombed-out world, stalking his opponent—some kid from Thailand, I think—killing him over and over and over again. It relaxed him. I’d been curled up on the couch watching him. As long as it was just the two of us all alone in the house, I could almost convince myself that the fear was gone, that we were normal again and everything was going to be fine now.

And now, with Naomi stopping by, I wondered if maybe the worst really was over, if now things really were going to be normal again.

Will leaned back, still playing the game, and looked upside down toward the door. Seeing it was Naomi, he gave her a wave.

“Took you long enough,” he said.

“Better late than never, yeah?”

She dropped her oversized silver shoulder bag on the floor and plopped herself down next to him on the couch.

“Hey,” she said, rapping Will on the shoulder with the back of her fingers.

“Hey,” he said. It was weird—and sort of sad—to see him blush. I had to keep shoving back the urge to protect him.

He went on playing the game, and for a while we watched him, awkwardly catching up. She kept asking about Craig. Like, “Is he back yet? You’re totally going to try and work it out, right? Have you heard from him? I bet he’s back and just afraid to call. You sure you haven’t heard from him? You must miss him horribly. I know I would. Hey, what if you were to go over to his house right now, show up and surprise him, what do you think he’d do? Will, don’t you think that’s a good idea?”

“No,” he said. Just like that. Blunt and direct. He didn’t even glance away from his game.

“Hey, can we, like, talk about something else,” I said.

“It’s too painful, right?” Naomi said. She slid off the couch and scooched up close to Will. “Still, you’re going to have to see him sometime. If you want to work it out with him, I mean.”

Will shot me a lunatic, terrified look.

Then finally, I got it. I felt like a dunce. She was there on a mission. This was a booty call. Will had a booty call! Wow! That was a first! And me hanging around was messing it all up.

But it’s not like I could leave. That would have been totally obvious. And where would I have gone? All this talking about Craig was making my heart ache. The thought of leaving the safety of my house was just too much to bear.

Will zapped off the game and jumped up to his feet. “Who’s thirsty,” he said. “We’ve still got three quarters of a bottle of tequila left from those margaritas. What do you guys say? Shots?” The way he was nodding at me made it clear, he wanted me to stay, and if I did, he’d do his best to be entertaining, steering the conversation away from Craig. If we acted like everything was completely normal, we might, for a while, convince ourselves it was.

“You have limes? And salt?” asked Naomi.

“You better believe it.”

“I’m in then,” she said.

“Sure. I’m in too,” I said.

Will ran to the kitchen and grabbed the tequila and everything else he needed, then brought it all back to the coffee table. The only shot glasses he could find were these corny, flowery Betty Boop ones that Mom collected, and as we downed our first round, I couldn’t help thinking, Jesus, is this how she started out? Downing shots to avoid how uncomfortable she felt? I said a little prayer not to turn out like her.

But, you know, liquor has a way of tricking you out of whatever crazy emotions you’re feeling and dunking you into even crazier situations.

For the second round, Naomi decided that we should do body shots. Instead of licking the salt on our own wrists, we’d lick it off of someone else’s neck. She went first, and of course, she chose Will, coming in long and slow, and sort of lingering on his skin just a second too long.

When she pulled away from Will, she stuck her tongue out at me and said, “I’m sorry about the other day at the beach, Ash.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, even though I knew exactly what she was talking about.

“I know you heard what everybody was saying,” she said. “I mean, obviously. But screw them, you know? Catty bitches. They were really sort of pissing me off, actually.”

This was nice to hear. I’d always suspected that Naomi was more sensitive than the average girl in our town, that she’d be a loyal friend if we were given a chance. “Thanks,” I said. “I mean, you have no idea how much I appreciate that.”

“What are you two talking about?” asked Will, flashing me a look, thinking, I could tell, that maybe we weren’t as safe as we thought we were.

“Nothing,” I said. “Everything’s
fine
.”

“Your turn!” shouted Naomi, wrapping her arm around Will’s shoulder. “Body shot!”

He hesitated, glancing at me for assurance, then took a quick body shot off her neck, barely touching her, squirming almost, he was so uncomfortable. Poor Will. He had no idea how to be sensual, and now that I thought about it, I understood that Naomi really did like him, she wasn’t just playing. How nice would it be for him to know what it felt like to have someone touch him, someone who wanted him, who couldn’t get enough of him? And in that case, why
not
Naomi?

“Here. Will. This is how it’s done,” I said. I licked Naomi’s neck and sprinkled salt on it. Then I shot my tequila, and leaned in to suck the salt off of her skin, making sure to use a lot of lip and tongue, to be as sensual as I could about the whole thing.

Will paid close attention, but I’m not sure he got my point. Anyway, after that, things got pretty crazy. We kept doing shots and eventually we somehow ended up playing Truth or Dare.

It wasn’t until a few questions in, when Naomi asked me, “What would you say to Craig if he walked in here right now and begged you to come back to him?” that I realized how close to danger we were playing with this game. I downed another shot. Somehow the fact that the game demanded I not lie made it harder for me to swat the question away. “Uh,” I said, “I guess, I’d be amazed. I don’t know.”

Will, seeing that I was on the verge of breaking down, leapt in. “My turn,” he said. “Ash, truth or dare?”

“Dare.” No way was I ever going to take truth again.

“I dare you . . . to sit on my lap.”

I could do that. He was perched on the twisty white leather ottoman, and I balanced myself on his leg. He wrapped his hand around my waist and supported me. Naomi made an expression, like,
he’s your brother, dude
, and I smiled coyly at her and said, “Naomi, truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you . . . to sit on Will’s lap with me.”

“I guess if you dared me, I have to, don’t I,” she said, standing up and sauntering toward us with her best sexy walk.

He gave me a little squeeze, and I squeezed him back. I was trying to make it clear,
go for it, don’t let me stop you
. He was trying to communicate something to me with his eyes, wiggling his eyebrows, ticking his cheek, but I couldn’t tell what exactly it was. I figured he was just nervous. Intimacy. It was all new to him.

Once she was seated there on his lap, Naomi raced right past go. She nuzzled up close and wrapped both arms around him. “I think I missed some salt there,” she said, and she kissed him on the neck, kneading the muscles in his back with her fingers. The kiss kept on going, up toward his ear, then across his cheek, then finally, she was kissing him on the lips. Will was just frozen there, not exactly spitting her out, but not helping either. Just terrified. But I figured, he must be liking it, too.

Anyway, my work was done. Whatever came next would have to be between them. I pried Will’s fingers off of my waist and slipped to the floor.

Will reared his head back to avoid Naomi’s kisses. “Ash?” he said. His face was a mess of concern. He reached out toward me, but Naomi reeled him back in.

“What’s the matter?” she whispered. “This is supposed to be
fun
.”

“Yeah, Will,” I said. “Relax, have some fun. She’s not going to bite you.”

But, God, was he awkward. He didn’t have any idea where to put his hands. He’d try one place, then another, shoot me mystified looks. And Naomi, she was trying to help—she watched his hands, caught his eye, darted her head back and forth in search of direction, tried to anticipate and adjust to his movement. And all the while, they were whispering in each other’s ears.

Eventually, Will seemed to loosen up. He didn’t struggle so much, started going with the flow. Instead of being terrified, he smiled when she spoke to him, a sort of wincing smile, but still.

They’d gotten cozy enough that I felt like, maybe I should duck out, head to my room, give them some privacy. It pleased me to see them this way. Like, maybe despite all the horror we’d been through, there would be a future for us after all. I liked Naomi so much. I thought if Will let her get close to him, she might mellow him.

I stood up and stretched. “I’m exhausted,” I said. Then heading for the stairs, I said, “Have fun, kids.”

Will called out behind me, “Hey, wait, Ash, don’t just leave me—”

And as I turned back to see what he wanted, I saw . . . I can’t say precisely what it was I saw. Motion. Movement. Him rising up and Naomi tumbling forward, real fast.

Naomi let out a yelp as she went flying. Hands out in front of her. Her head pounded against the corner of the coffee table, and I raced toward her to see if she was okay.

Then I caught the red, angry expression on Will’s face, and I thought,
oh God, what happened? What did I miss?

And Naomi, once she recovered herself, started screaming about how we were sick, horrible people and I knew, I just knew that Will must have said something to her about Craig. I mean, he must have intimated somehow that Craig was . . . that . . .

This is really difficult.

Dead. That’s what I’m trying to say. That Craig was dead.

I mean, the expression on her face. It was pure terror, not just of Will, but of me too. And she booked it out of there as fast as she could. Raced out the back door and out across the yard.

Will shot me a glance and went chasing after her and I, I don’t know, I slumped to the couch and tried to hold my head in. My brain felt like it was exploding. Because, that look Naomi’d given me, so accusatory, like she thought I was as guilty as Will, and was I? I hoped not. I couldn’t bear the thought that maybe I was.

You have to understand, I was messed up in my head. I didn’t think twice about what he might be doing out there with her.

She lost her balance, and she fell.

I don’t know what to tell you, that’s what happened.

Well, okay, let’s go back to when they were both sitting on my lap. I was on the ottoman. Each of them was on one of my knees. And then, Asheley slid away and I felt some sort of chill—not like I was physically cold, but more like a premonition of how desperately alone I was in the world, how dead my life was when she wasn’t near me. And I reached out to try and pull her back. Maybe she doesn’t understand this. It wasn’t some immature fear of girls, it wasn’t that I was shy, it was a specific, piercing need to have her, Asheley, near me. I mean, it wasn’t sexual or anything, it was just. . . we’re a team, you know?