Brothers (32 page)

"Nothing at all." Li Lan dabbed at her eyes, then smiled. "Son, lets get going."

That morning Li Lan took a ride on the most luxurious pullcart Liu Town had ever seen. The cart wound its way down the main street with Baldy Li at the fore. The crowds stared, mouths open in astonishment. They simply couldn't believe their eyes; never in their wildest dreams having imagined such a contraption. Someone called out to Baldy Li, asking him how he had managed to put this thing together.

"This thing?" Baldy Li smugly replied. "This thing is my mom's exclusive-use cart."

Everyone was befuddled. "What's an exclusive-use cart?"

"You've never heard of an exclusive-use cart?" Baldy Li asked, then continued proudly: "The jet that Chairman Mao flies in is his exclusive-use jet, the train compartment that Chairman Mao travels in is his exclusive-use compartment, and the car that Chairman Mao rides in is his exclusive-use sedan. Why? Because no one else can use them. My mom's cart is her exclusive-use cart. Why? Because no one else can ride in it."

Everyone broke out into knowing laughter, and even Li Lan couldn't help but laugh out loud. With myriad emotions Li Lan watched as her son proudly pulled her exclusive-use cart through the streets. This son, who had once shamed her as deeply as her first husband, Liu Shan-feng, now filled her with a pride akin to what she had felt with Song Fanping.

The women in Liu Town thought that Li Lan's cart resembled a wedding sedan. Giggling nonstop, they called out to Li Lan, "Are you getting married off today?"

"No, no," Li Lan replied, blushing. "I'm going down to the countryside to sweep my husband's grave."

Baldy Li pulled Li Lan's exclusive-use cart out the southern gate. When she heard the creaking of the wheels, Li Lan guessed that they had just gone over the wooden bridge and were now bumping along down the dirt road. She could smell the country air as a fresh spring breeze wafted past her; she raised herself, holding on to the umbrella pole, and looked out to a field of golden greens glistening in the sun. She watched the winding paths that framed each paddy, the various details of houses and trees at a distance, the ducks flying over the nearby pond and their reflection in the water, together with the sparrows flying by the road. This was the last trip that Li Lan would take along this dirt road; despite its bumpiness, she fully enjoyed the beautiful spring day while riding along on the cart.

Li Lan looked down at her son pulling the cart with all his strength. Baldy Li was now bent over and constantly wiping the sweat from his brows. Feeling sorry for him, she urged him to take a rest, but Baldy Li shook his head and replied that he wasn't tired. Li Lan tried to get him to pause and drink from the drip bottle, but he again shook his head. "That glucose water is nutrition for you."

When she saw how good her son was to her, Li Lan wept tears of joy. Sobbing, she said, "Good son, please, I'm begging you, take a rest and have some water."

Just then Baldy Li caught sight of Song Gang in the distance, standing at the entrance to the village. He saw that Song Gang's grandfather was seated on the ground and leaning against the tree. Every year at Qingming, Song Gang and his grandfather would wait at the village entrance for their arrival. Song Gang spotted a very odd cart coming toward him, but he didn't dream that it would be Baldy Li pulling Li Lan. When Baldy Li saw Song Gang, his bent-over body straightened out a bit and he broke into a run, jostling Li Lan back and forth. Baldy Li yelled out at the top of his lungs, "Song Gang! Song Gang!"

When Song Gang heard Baldy Li's cries, he ran toward them, arms waving, and shouting, "Baldy Li! Baldy Li!"

CHAPTER 26

U
PON RETURNING
from her trip to Song Fanping's grave, Li Lan lay down on her bed to think things over. She felt that she had completed all the necessary preparations, and so the next day she could check into the hospital without worries. As she had expected, her illness became much graver once she arrived in the hospital, and it became clear that she would never check out again. Within two months, she was reduced to voiding her bladder through a catheter, ran an unabated high fever, and spent most of her days asleep.

As Li Lan s condition deteriorated Baldy Li stopped going to school and instead began spending every day at her bedside. Deep into the night, each time Li Lan woke from her stupor she would see her son asleep next to her, head leaning against the bed railing. Weeping, she would muster the energy to urge him to go home and rest.

When Li Lan felt that the end was approaching, she began to desperately miss her other son. She asked Baldy Li to lean over, and, with a voice as weak and soft as a mosquito's buzz, she asked him again and again to bring Song Gang back from the countryside.

The road to the countryside was long, and it would take at least half a day to get there and back. Baldy Li set off to fetch Song Gang but, worried about his mother in the hospital needing his care, paused at the wooden bridge outside the southern gate. He waited on the bridge for two hours, and whenever he spotted a peasant leaving through the gate, he would ask him what village he was from. He asked more than a dozen people but didn't find anyone from Song Gang's village. Finally an old man with a hog approached. By that point Baldy Li had pretty much given up hope and was preparing to run like a marathoner all the way to the countryside. When the old man replied that he was from Song Gang's village, Baldy Li leapt down from the bridge railing and almost gave the man a hug. Shouting, he asked the man to send word to Song Gang urging him to rush to town. "It's an emergency. Tell him to come find Baldy Li."

It was dawn by the time Song Gang arrived. Baldy Li had spent another night at the hospital and had just gotten home and fallen
asleep when Song Gang knocked on the door. Drowsily, Baldy Li opened the door, and Song Gang, who by this time was a head taller than he, nervously asked, "What's going on?"

Baldy Li rubbed his eyes. "Mama doesn't have much longer and wants to see you. Quick, go to the hospital."

Song Gang burst into tears, and Baldy Li said, "Don't cry now, just get going. I'll sleep a bit more and then come join you."

Song Gang turned around and rushed off to the hospital. Baldy Li shut the door behind him and went back to sleep. He had planned to nap only for a short while, but his accumulated exhaustion got the better of him and he slept until noon. By the time he arrived at the hospital, he was astonished by the sight that greeted his eyes: Li Lan was actually sitting up, and her voice sounded much stronger than it had been the day before. Song Gang was sitting on the edge of the bed, telling her about events in the village. Baldy Li wondered whether it was the sight of Song Gang that made her instantly better. He didn't realize that she was temporarily in remission, enjoying a sudden burst of energy at the end of her life's journey. She even smiled when she spotted Baldy Li entering the room, saying, "You've lost so much weight."

Li Lan told them that she missed her own home very much. She explained to the doctor that she was feeling much better today, and since both her sons were now with her, she would like to go home and take a look. The doctor, aware that she was nearing the end, agreed that she might as well go home but warned Baldy Li and Song Gang that she shouldn't stay out for more than a couple of hours.

Song Gang carried Li Lan on his back and walked out of the hospital. As they walked down the street Li Lan looked about at the people and houses with the astonishment of a newborn. A few acquaintances even called out to her, asking whether she was feeling better. Li Lan seemed extremely happy as she answered, "Yes, much better." When they walked past the basketball court, Li Lan thought again of Song Fanping. With her hands clasped around Song Gang's shoulders, she was the picture of contentment. She said, "Song Gang, you look more and more like your father every day."

Once they reached home, Li Lan gazed fondly at the table, the chairs, and the armoire; at the walls, the windows, the cobweb in the corner of the room, and the layer of dust on the desk—her eyes soaking up everything as if they were sponges. As she sat down on one of the chairs, with Song Gang supporting her from behind, she asked Baldy
Li to bring her a rag. She started to carefully wipe the dust off the table, saying, "Its so nice to be home."

Then, feeling tired, she asked Baldy Li and Song Gang to help her lie down on the bed. She closed her eyes as if asleep, but after a while she opened them again and had Baldy Li and Song Gang sit together at her bedside. In a frail voice she then told them, "I'm about to die."

Song Gang started sobbing, and Baldy Li also lowered his head and wiped at his eyes. Li Lan said, "Don't cry, don't cry, my sons…"

Song Gang nodded obediently and stopped his sobbing. Baldy Li also raised his head. Li Lan continued, "I've already reserved a coffin. Please bury me next to your papa. I promised him that I was going to wait till you were grown up to go find him, but I'm afraid I can't hold on any longer."

Song Gang burst out into loud sobs, and the sound of his weeping brought Baldy Li's head down again. Li Lan repeated, "Don't cry, don't cry."

Song Gang wiped his eyes and muffled his sobs, but Baldy Li still had his head buried in his chest. Li Lan smiled, saying, "I've cleansed myself already, so no need to bathe me after I'm gone. Just put me in a clean set of clothes. Don't give me a sweater, though, because the knots in the yarn would trip me on my way to the netherworld. Dress me in cotton instead."

Exhausted, she closed her eyes and rested. A dozen minutes passed before she opened her eyes again and told her sons, "I just heard your father call out to me."

Li Lan smiled contentedly. She asked Song Gang to pull out a wooden chest from under the bed and remove the bundle inside. Baldy Li and Song Gang unwrapped the bundle and saw that it contained the bag of soil stained with Song Fanping's blood, a handkerchief wrapped around the three pairs of ancients’ chopsticks, and three copies of their family portrait. Li Lan said that two of the copies were for Baldy Li and Song Gang; since they would marry and start their own families, she wanted to make sure that each had his own copy. The third she wanted to take with her to the netherworld to show Song Fanping, noting, "He never had a chance to see the portrait."

She also wanted to take with her the pairs of ancients’ chopsticks, as well as the dirt stained with Song Fanping's blood. She instructed, "Once I'm set in the coffin, spread the bloody dirt all over my body."

As she spoke she asked her sons to help her up so that she could
reach her hand into the soil. Seven years had passed, and the bloodstained dirt had turned completely black. She felt around, saying, "It feels very cozy inside."

Li Lan smiled contentedly. "I'm about to see your father, so I'm very happy. Seven years—he's been waiting for me for seven years. I have so many stories to tell him, stories about Song Gang and about Baldy Li— it would take me days and days just to get through them all."

When she looked again at Baldy Li and Song Gang, she wept. "But what will become of you? You are fifteen and sixteen years old—I really can't bear to part with you. My sons, you really have to take good care of yourselves. You are brothers and must look after each other."

As Li Lan finished speaking she closed her eyes and seemed to doze off for a bit. When she opened her eyes again, she asked Baldy Li to go and buy a few buns. Having diverted Baldy Li, she then held Song Gang's hand and told him her final wishes: "Song Gang, Baldy Li is your little brother. You must take care of him all your life. I'm not worried about you, but I am worried about him. If he takes the straight path, he will make something of himself; but if he goes the other way, I'm worried that he will end up in jail. You have to watch out for him and not let him go the wrong way. Song Gang, promise me that, no matter what Baldy Li might do, you will take care of him."

Song Gang nodded as he wiped at his tears. "Mama, don't you worry. I'll take care of Baldy Li for as long as I live. Even if I have one bowl of rice left, I'll let him have it, and if I have just one shirt left, I'll give it to him."

Weeping, Li Lan shook her head. "If there is one bowl of rice left, the two of you should split it; and if there's one shirt left, you should take turns wearing it."

This was the last day of Li Lan's life. She slept on the family bed until dusk, and when she woke up she heard Baldy Li and Song Gang whispering to each other. Rays from the setting sun shone into the room, warming it with reds and oranges. The sound of Baldy Li and Song Gang talking to each other convinced Li Lan of their intimacy. She smiled, then softly said that it was time to return to the hospital.

Song Gang carried Li Lan out the front door. As Baldy Li followed them out, she remarked, "It's good to be home."

Baldy Li and Song Gang remained with Li Lan at the hospital. Her spirits seemed to revive somewhat. She would doze for a while, then stay awake for a while. Every time she woke up and spotted her sons
sitting at her bedside whispering away, she would urge them once again to return home and get some sleep.

Baldy Li and Song Gang stayed in the hospital until one in the morning and then walked home along the deserted streets. Baldy Li knew that Song Gang had become very interested in reading, so he told him about a room in Red Flag Alley that contained all the items confiscated during the early days of the Cultural Revolution. They had everything there: books, paintings, toys, stuff that you couldn't even imagine. Baldy Li told Song Gang that Victory Zhao and Success Liu had raided the place a few times, and every time they made off with lots of good books. Baldy Li explained, "Do you know how Victory Zhao became Poet Zhao, and Success Liu, Writer Liu? Its because they stole these books and read them that now they can write books themselves."

Baldy Li and Song Gang crept up to the room. They had planned on breaking the windows and climbing in, but when they got there, they saw that the window had no panes left. After they crept in, they realized that someone had long ago cleaned the place out, leaving only a few empty cabinets. They searched every corner of the room, every nook of every cabinet, but managed to find only a single red high-heeled shoe. Thinking they had found something special, they stashed it under their clothing, crept out through the window, and ran. When they reached a completely deserted streetlamp, Baldy Li and Song Gang stopped and studied the item for a good long while. They had never seen a high-heeled shoe before, nor even a red shoe, and asked each other, "What is this thing?"