Broken Wings (Cruel and Beautiful World, Book One 1) (6 page)

"Fine. Do what you want. Your fucking funeral."

And with those final, familiar and heartfelt words, Xander turned and left. Deryn watched him walk farther and farther down the road, his figure growing hazy in the fog. Fog she never understood, considering they were in a damn bubble. Her eyes did not leave him until he rounded the corner.

Deryn turned to walk in the opposite direction, but quickly looked back at the corner he had just gone around.

She had never been much of a gambler but, given the current circumstances, every move she made was just that. A gamble. Right now she had no plan. She knew no one in Middle City, other than her former slave owners, and had nowhere to go. Sleeping on the streets was a great risk and she could hang around the crowds all she wanted, that didn't change the fact that, eventually, someone was bound to recognize her. Xander had.

Past prejudices aside, at that moment Xander had given her no reason not to trust him. He protected her from those men outside of the bar, paid for her to get on the tram, lied for her so she wouldn't get caught by the other Guardians,
and
bought her chocolate.

Deryn reached into her pocket and touched the chocolate bar. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. It had been a great gamble when she used that knife, and now she was going to take another one.

Before Deryn had a chance to talk herself out of it, she opened her eyes and ran in the direction Xander had gone. Her body ached as she moved and a pain she had almost forgotten about shot through her ankle. But she didn't care. She had to catch up to him. Whether he betrayed her or not, he was still her best option. So, for the first time since she had known him, Deryn Leon was taking a chance on Xander Ruby.

She whirled around the corner and stopped to look for him. He wasn't there. She had already lost him. What was she supposed to -

"About time you got here."

Deryn's heart jumped. Xander was leaning against the wall just beside her.

He smirked. "You didn't actually think I was going to leave you alone out here, did you?"

She didn't answer.

"Do you never talk anymore?" he asked, standing up straight. "Back in training, the trick was getting you to shut up. Always so damn opinionated. Where are your snide remarks? Your derogatory comments? Where's your fucking fire?"

Deryn stared at him coldly. She huffed and said, "It's back at Eagle, probably in that hallway we were in before your father dragged me off to a life of slavery."

Xander stared back at her, mouth slightly fallen. But it was not long before his look of surprise melted away and became a grin instead. "Ah! Now there's the girl I know and loathe. Looks like I just have to rattle you a bit. Well, come along."

Xander took the lead and guided Deryn through the dead streets of what was formerly a vibrant city. Back when Outsiders were allowed in as long as they went through quarantine or wore gasmasks, and Saevus hadn't killed off half of his citizens for disagreeing with him. The world had practically ended but two centuries ago, the majority of people had died and yet he still took so many lives from the few who remained. It was their job as the survivors to rebuild the world, not destroy it further.

Judging from the street they were on, Middle City might as well have been a ghost town. Deryn glanced around the eerie sight, unsure of how she was supposed to feel. Even though she had spent a good deal of time in Middle City, as a slave she had always been isolated in a house. Other than her glimpses from the window during the slave trades, she had never really seen how sad it had truly become.

Xander walked rather quickly and Deryn had a hard time keeping up with him. Her ankle was really starting to hurt and she found herself wishing she would have thought to buy something for it.

After several twists and turns through the streets, they eventually stopped in front of a tall but narrow apartment complex. Xander scanned his wristband, then used a key to let them inside. As they walked up the stairs, loud music and voices could be heard coming from one of the higher floors. She pulled her hood on farther.

"Oi! Ruby!" shouted a man as they continued past the third floor.

Xander put his hand on Deryn's waist and guided her up a few steps higher than him. He ignored the way she flinched and turned towards the man who called him.

"Picked these up for you."

Deryn watched him toss something to Xander out of the corner of her eye.

"Thanks." Xander pocketed whatever it was.

"Come on, Ruby. You gotta tell us," said another man, walking over and taking a large swig from a bottle of whiskey. "How much longer we gotta put up with this damn lockdown?"

"Yeah. You Guardian bastards catch whoever it is you're looking for yet?"

"You know I can't share that information," answered Xander.

"Ah, come on! What's the point of having a Guardian as a neighbor if you can't tell us anything?"

"Favors." Xander winked. "All I can say is that the lockdown won't be ending anytime soon. Actually, starting tomorrow, it's going to be worse. You will receive a formal notice in the morning."

Both men whined in great disappointment.

The first one took a puff of what appeared to be a cigarette, which was strange considering they had been banned several decades ago, along with all other tobacco products. He glanced at Deryn and she quickly turned away. "Who's your lovely friend?"

"None of your fucking business."

"Shier than the ones you normally bring around. What's your name, sweetheart?"

Xander grabbed the bottle out of the second man's hands and said, "I'll be taking this. And I suggest you keep it loud down here tonight, 'less you want to hear something your small and feeble minds won't understand."

Both men gaped at him and then at Deryn. They grinned.

"It's always the quiet ones who are the screamers." The man with the cigarette laughed.

Deryn whipped in their direction. "I beg your pardon!"

"We should be going now." Xander grabbed her arm and yanked her farther up the stairs. "Hold your fucking tongue, will you?" he whispered harshly, once they were a fair enough distance away.

Xander didn't stop pulling her until they reached the very top, which she had counted as the fifth floor. There was only one door here. His wristband was scanned and he unlocked several locks quickly with his key. He stepped inside and turned on the lights. Then he waited for Deryn to come in, but she made no signs of leaving the hallway.

"You already came this far. Seems a bit foolish to stop now," he said, wiggling the door like he was going to shut it.

Deryn looked skeptically at him. But then she took a deep, meditative breath and stepped inside. After all, it was part of the gamble.

She jumped when Xander shut the door. Without a word, he took off his coat and tossed it over the back of a chair, leaving her standing there as he headed for the kitchen.

Deryn stood frozen as he shuffled around in there, her eyes studying every last inch of the apartment Xander called home. It was much smaller than she expected. Not that it was small by any means, but he had grown up in one of the largest homes in Inner City. The Saevuses and the Rubys had been close for generations, often living next door to one another.

The living space was well-sized with a black couch, two matching armchairs, a coffee table, a desk and chair, a fireplace, and a nook with a built-in bookcase that had more knickknacks on it than books. Considering the majority of books in Utopia were electronic, it seemed irrelevant.

There was a small dining area with a hardwood table and four chairs just beside the kitchen. A tacky chandelier hung above it, which she was sure Xander did not choose. Just beside the dining area was the open kitchen, which she only glanced at briefly since Xander was moving around in there.

There were three wooden doors in this apartment, and one large sliding glass door that led out to a balcony. The curtains were currently drawn. Deryn moved to close them.

"Shoes," called Xander from the kitchen.

She stopped and looked back to see he had taken his off by the door. She did the same, frowning as she looked down at the rundown boots she had been forced to wear for years next to his shiny black boots.

Letting out another sigh, she walked over to the curtains and took one last look at the city before shutting it away.

"You can take off your coat, Leon. I'm fully aware of who you are."

Deryn tensed at the sound of her name. It had been a long time since anyone had called her any name at all, unless they were calling her something derogatory. It was interesting to hear it again, even from his sharp lips.

Deryn decided it would be all right to pull off her hood but she didn't want him to see the beaten remains of her body just yet. Or maybe she didn't want to see them herself. It was hard to know.

Once her hood was off, Deryn turned and walked across the plushy white carpet towards Xander. A mouthwatering aroma was currently lingering in the air, and she really hoped that whatever he was making was meant for her and not just a midnight snack.

Xander looked up as she approached, sucking in his breath when he saw the bruises on her face. Deryn halted and instinctually reached back for her hood, her arms aching as she did so.

"Don't," he said, holding up a hand to stop her. "I didn't mean to do that."

She stopped and lowered her arms to her sides, uncomfortably playing with the pockets on her coat as she moved her eyes to the floor.

"When was the last time you ate?" asked Xander as he stirred a pot on the stove.

"I don't know," she said with a weak shrug. "How long has it been since I ..." Since she what? Murdered someone. Slashed his throat open. "Escaped?"

"Three days," he said as he opened a cabinet and pulled out a bowl.

"Then it's been four days. Maybe longer. I've had a few little things but not much," she answered, remembering that her last owner had starved her for at least twenty-four hours before stuffing her in the van.

Xander let out a deep sigh that made her cringe. She hated pity, especially from him.

"Sit down, Leon."

Every bit of Deryn still left inside of her wanted to protest. She didn't like being ordered around by him, but the sharp pang in her ankle outweighed her stubbornness and she took a seat at the table.

Not even a minute later, Xander put a bowl of chicken soup and a glass of water in front of her. He took a seat on the other side of the table and drank from the bottle of whiskey he had confiscated.

"You should eat slowly," he instructed. "Your stomach needs time to adjust. If this is too heavy for you I have fruit or -"

"This is fine," she said, taking several sips of water before picking up the spoon he'd given her and digging in. It tasted damn good. Maybe it was the starvation talking but never in her life had she ever tasted something so delicious, so intoxicating, so ... damn good!

When she was about halfway through, Xander stood up and disappeared through one of the closed doors. He returned several minutes later holding a bundle of clothes and waited for her to finish the last few bites.

"I'm not going to lie. You reek of something putrid."

Deryn wished she could be offended but she knew he was right.

"Shower's through there." He pointed at one of the doors. "You can put these on after."

Xander put the bundle of clothes on the table. Deryn stared blankly for a moment before shuffling through them. An oversized shirt, some black silk pajama pants and -

"Ew!" she screamed, dropping the lacy, red underwear she had accidentally touched.

"What?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders.

Deryn looked at him and raised her eyebrows.

"Sometimes women leave things behind when they come here."

She raised them higher.

"It's not like they're dirty. I've washed them since."

And higher still.

"They're all I have so it's either them or nothing."

Deryn looked down at the red lace and huffed. While she was absolutely disgusted with the idea of wearing some random woman's underwear, she also didn't want to go commando while wearing Xander's pajama's, so she caved. She picked up the underwear and clothes, walked to the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

After turning on the shower, Deryn carefully undressed.

She draped the coat over the closed toilet seat and stripped her body of her tattered shirt and pants, discarding them in the trashcan and hoping to never see them again. It was the same clothes she'd been wearing when her father stormed into Eagle Center and attempted to rescue her. So much had happened to her in those clothes and she loathed them for being present during the darkest years of her life. She would have destroyed them right then and there if she had the means to do so.

Before stepping into the shower, Deryn stared at the mirror for a long moment. She didn't want to look in it but she knew she had to. To finally see the damage that had been done to her.

She took several deep breaths before walking in front of it and slowly turning to face her reflection. She gasped as she caught sight of herself,
all
of herself, for the first time in years. There was no meat left on her. She never had much but now she was nothing but a pale, withered mass of skin and bones. Her entire body was covered in bruises that would fade and scars that would not. She looked at her reflection and traced each one of them, trying to remember how they came to be. Her eyes began to tear. She sucked them back and focused on her face.