Broken Wings (27 page)

Rye stared at the priestess. “When I could walk, they took me to a men’s
compound.”

The memories surged again and pushed her closer to panic. Rye gripped the
railing and fixed her gaze back on Flora.

“They put me in a room,” Rye said, “like they do girls who have just got their
wings. To wait for a man. Or men. I was cured, you see, so I was ready to breed
and fulfil my purpose in creation. Only I didn’t want to. Not at all. But I knew
if I ran, they’d make me suffer again. And if I refused, they’d know I wasn’t
cured. And they’d scourge me again.”

Rye swallowed with difficulty.

“This guy came in. A big guy. Really big. I suppose they picked him specially,
so that I couldn’t hurt him. Like I did those others. He –”

Rye scowled and blinked back tears. “He – Shit.”

Flora had a hand over her face still and the other on the railing in front of
her as if reaching out to Rye.

“Ms. Woods?” Mr. Summerbank said.

“I had no choice,” Rye said. “I had to let him. I couldn’t stand the whip again.
I was too scared. It hurt so much. I thought they’d kill me if they did it
again.”

Rye lowered her head and clamped her hand over her face in a vain effort to stop
the tears.

“Your Sagacity,” the sylph lawyer said. “This uncorroborated fabrication can
hardly be admissible as evidence.”

“I ran away over the hills,” Rye said. “I wanted to take my chances with all the
evil people than stay there. They’ll punish me again for that, like they did
before when I tried to run. And I’m still gay. In fact, I know that I’m never
going to be cured of that. Even if they don’t hang me for mother or running
away, they’ll kill me trying to save me. Because it won’t work. No matter what
they do or how many times they whip me.”

Rye blinked through the tears to see Flora.

“I love you,” Rye said. “No one is ever going to beat that out of me. You’re in
me. Always will be. I should’ve tried harder. I’m sorry.”

Rye stepped into the cell. The guard thunked the door shut behind her. She
dropped onto the side of the cot. Mr. Summerbank said she had another three or
four days in here to wait the adjudicator’s decision.

After Rye had finished her statement to the hearing, Mr. Summerbank had
excitedly offered a pile of papers for submission. The Fairyland lawyer had put
in a lot of objections. Rye hadn’t paid much attention to the legal arguments.
Flora had looked so upset. When they took Rye out of the hearing room, Flora had
stood and blown her a kiss. With the manacle on one wrist and her other arm in a
cast and sling, Rye couldn’t blow one back.

Well, she’d sealed her fate now. The priestesses weren’t going to let that
confession slip by unnoticed. Rye knew she was going to suffer for it, but it
had been her last chance to get Flora to understand. Rye could not let the
opportunity pass her by like she had last time. She owed Flora that much. She
owed it to herself. That would not be another regret she carried to her last
breath.

Holly now knew about her and Flora, but that would hardly have registered as a
surprise after hearing that Rye had killed their mother. What would Holly think
of her for that? Would the kid hate her? Rye couldn’t even explain herself,
because she couldn’t remember.

Rye had come so close to another bout of self-destruction when her panic slipped
beyond her control. That Fairyland lawyer had characterised her as violent,
uneducated, troubled, and below average intelligence. Perhaps he was right. She
couldn’t control herself properly. It might be a mental problem. Would she be
able to get it fixed so that she would never again have to worry about
blacking-out and hurting herself or anyone else? Those therapists could work
wonders, couldn’t they? However much she might hate the thought of raking over
her past with a complete stranger, she had done harder things, hadn’t she? And
they hadn’t killed her. Admitting that she was a head-case to get it sorted out
wouldn’t be nearly as bad as continuing on as she was and possibly killing
someone else. She needed to get herself straightened out. Not that she was
likely to get access to any counselling in Fairyland. Perhaps they’d try to beat
that out of her, too.

Rye stood up to pace.

She should have known that Flora would attend the hearing. Flora had been with
her every step of the way, if unseen and at several paces removed. Absent but
not forgotten. Apart but still tethered. If they did end up sending Rye back to
Fairyland, there was no one better to look after Holly. Perhaps Flora might be
able to persuade Holly that Rye was not the evil person the Fairyland lawyer
painted her as.

Rye had missed lunch being out at the hearing, so she was surprised when she
heard someone at the door. It couldn’t be dinner time already?

The lock whirred. The door swung open.

“Out you come, Woods,” the guard said.

“What’s wrong?”

“Visitor. Your lawyer.”

Rye frowned as she stepped out and fell in behind the guard. It had only been a
matter of hours since the hearing. Surely he had not heard the result yet? Or
had the Fairyland government’s case proved so devastating that the adjudicator
had needed no time to make up her mind?

Rye waited as the guard pressed her palm to the lock on the interview room door.
She braced herself for the bad news. She hadn’t expected this decision to go in
her favour, had she? Not after that blow about her mother’s murder. They’d got
her there. And even if Mr. Summerbank defeated the extradition, Rye still had an
armload of serious criminal charges to face. After she did any jail time she
earned for assaulting that policeman, her conviction would ensure a speedy
deportation the moment she was released. Fairyland was going to get her back
anyway.

The guard swung the door open and nodded at Rye to go in. Rye stepped into the
room and stopped. Mr. Summerbank stood near the far end of the table. Instead of
young Mr. Vervain, the person beside him was Flora.

The door thunked shut behind Rye. Flora started around the table. Rye jolted
into motion. She met Flora halfway and awkwardly pulled her into a tight
one-armed embrace. Flora’s arms looped around Rye’s neck. Warm. Nice smelling.
Flora.
Love
. An aching, broken part of Rye healed.

“Oh, Elm,” Flora said.

Rye hugged Flora as if she might meld them into one, as if she never wanted to
let go ever again. She wished she didn’t have one arm in a sling. She wanted to
feel Flora with all of herself. Flora embraced her just as hard. Rye could feel
Flora’s breath, and kiss, on the side of her neck. Rye closed her eyes so that
the whole of Infinity became her and Flora with no prison walls around them.

“I love you,” Rye said.

“I know. I heard. Oh, Rye, don’t leave me. Not again.”

Rye reluctantly opened her eyes. She lifted a hand to the side of Flora’s head
to get Flora to look at her. Flora’s eyes looked liquid bright.

“The only thing I wanted was a chance to talk to you,” Rye said. “I love Holly.
I’d like you to tell her that for me. But Holly will grow up and would’ve left
me to live her own life. You should have been my present and future. I’ve had a
lot of time to think about things. Calmly. With no distractions. Babe, I was
wrong. I was an idiot. I should’ve tried harder to make things work. I should’ve
put my stupid pride aside. I should’ve let you help me. I should’ve –”

Flora put her fingers on Rye’s mouth. “It wasn’t just your fault. We both made
mistakes.”

Rye kissed Flora’s fingers and gently pulled them down. “I left you. It was my
stupid decision. I was wrong. That’s what I wanted to tell you. I should have
looked harder for a way to make it work. There usually is one. But I ran out on
you and hurt you. I’ll always regret that. I’m sorry. I hope… I hope you’ll be
able to forgive me one day. You see –”

“Rye –”

“I know that I’d never be able to give you everything. Or even much. Not like…
not like I would if I were rich. And –”

“Rye!”

“And I’m just me. Not a rich and famous person. Not someone your parents and
friends would approve of. But –”

“Rye.” Flora put her hands on either side of Rye’s face. “There are only two of
us in this relationship. Not all those others! If I love you and want to be with
you, why do you care about anyone else?”

“Not rich or famous or much of anything,” Rye continued doggedly. “But the
richest, most famous, fanciest, most successful woman in the world couldn’t love
you more than I do.”

Flora smiled even as tears leaked from her eyes. “Oh, you adorable wooden-head!
That is what is important to me. Worth more than anything. It’s what no one else
has ever given me. That is what I need. That is what has been missing from my
life, what I’ve been looking for.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes!” Flora clutched the back of Rye’s neck as if she might shake her. “All
that other stuff: money, other people’s opinions, how different we are in lots
of ways. We can work through it. Together. I’m sure of it. I know it. We can do
it. If we want to. You and me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” Flora said. “Oh, yes. Because we’ve got what’s important. We love each
other. You could work a hundred jobs for a hundred years, but you wouldn’t earn
enough to buy me that. No one could. But you give it to me.”

Rye reached up to gently wipe one of Flora’s tears away from near the side of
her mouth. “I’ll give you anything you want.”

“You do. That’s my point, lover. But I think we seriously need to work on your
self-esteem. Like working out what you would really like to be doing. If you
want to start a catering business. Get yourself the education you want. Maybe
when you start feeling better about yourself, you’ll stop putting yourself down
with these illogical comparisons you obsess about.”

Rye frowned.

“This is not me trying to buy you,” Flora said quickly. “If you wanted to stay a
builder’s labourer for the rest of your life, I would love you. But I’d like you
to love yourself, too. You hate your job – jobs. But you love cooking. You’re
the only person I’ve ever heard hum in a kitchen. And you’re fantastic at it.
And, for reasons that elude me utterly, you get a bounce out of making
omelettes! Didn’t you feel a sense of satisfaction at cooking for my dinner
party? And Letty’s?”

“You weren’t there.”

Flora frowned. “I couldn’t do it. I’m not strong like you. I couldn’t have acted
like nothing had happened. Not with you so close.”

Rye didn’t know what to say, so she kissed Flora. Flora managed a smile.

“We can make us work,” Flora said. “I know it.”

“Are you sure you’d not prefer… prefer someone who –” Rye scowled. “That Frond
person.”

“Frond? Frond Lovage? What has she got to do with anything? Oh! How can you be
so smart and so dense at the same time? Lover, I didn’t get buds for her. Nor
any of the others I’ve ever dated. Only you, Rye Woods.”

Flora guided Rye’s good hand up to her hair to feel one of the knotty lumps.
“You are my budmate.”

Rye frowned. She drew her hand down by stroking Flora’s hair and caressing her
cheek. Part of Rye was confused, part dazed, part elated. Flora loved her.
Still. And wanted to make it work. Infinity wasn’t such a bad place.

Over Flora’s shoulder, Rye glimpsed Mr. Summerbank at the table looking through
some papers. She dropped back to reality with a hard bang. She was holding
Flora, but they were inside the detention centre, not Flora’s apartment or even
the municipal park. All this talk of love and a future together was happening
inside four grey walls.

“Fey,” Rye said.

“What’s wrong?”

“Life is shit. And I’ve dropped us in it pretty deep, haven’t I?”

“It might not be as bad as you think. Mr. Summerbank said that your statement
had a powerful effect. He needs to take a detailed written account from you, but
he’s cautiously confident that the adjudicator will find in your favour.”

Rye shrugged. “I’m sorry. For doing this. To you. To us. To Holly. I’ll never be
able to repay you for –”

Flora put her hand over Rye’s lips. “You were doing so well. No backsliding.”

Rye reluctantly grinned.

“I can imagine this place isn’t very conducive to positive thinking,” Flora
said. “But Holly is safe and you will be too, soon.”

Rye shook her head. “No. I’ve messed up good and proper.”

“Mr. Summerbank says he feels you have a very good chance of beating the
repatriation. He’s the expert. Try not to let yourself get too gloomy.”

“It’s not just that. Even if they don’t send be back, I – Fey. Babe, I did
something really stupid. Um. I blanked out again and beat up a policeman.
They’re going to put me in prison for that. Then throw me out of the country
afterward. I’m sorry.”

“I know about those charges. We can fight them, too.”

“But I did it!” Rye couldn’t meet Flora’s gaze. “I bring all this on myself. I
don’t know why. Or how. I don’t even remember what I do. Maybe… maybe it’s best
that they lock me up. Then I couldn’t hurt you. I couldn’t bear that.”

“I don’t think you would.”

Rye shook her head. “I wouldn’t want to. I would rather hurt myself than harm
you. But I don’t know what I’m doing. It nearly killed me when I thought I’d
harmed Holly, and that’s what got me arrested. Maybe… maybe there is something
wrong with my brain. Something doesn’t work right in me, babe. What I do isn’t
normal. I’ve been thinking that I probably need someone to help me sort it out.
Therapy. A shrink.”

Flora stroked Rye’s hair. “Far stronger than me. I am utterly in awe of you
sometimes. Yes, my love, I think you need help with that. And I’ve never loved
you more than right now.”

Rye tentatively glanced up. “Yeah? Even though I’m… I’m some violent freak? A
head-case?”

“You’re not a freak. I’m no expert, but I don’t think we have to delve too
deeply to see where things went a little astray for you.” Flora slipped her arms
around Rye’s waist to give her a reassuring squeeze. “I’m sure someone can help
you. We can start the ball rolling straight away.”

“You think I can get counselling in prison?”

“It may not come to that, with extenuating circumstances and a first time
offence. I’ve been assured that it’s not as bleak as it may appear.”

“But it’s going to kill any chance of getting my citizenship through refugee
status,” Rye said. “That’s what they said at immigration. About a criminal
record.”

“We can talk with Mr. Summerbank about it,” Flora said. “But I was hoping you
wouldn’t need to apply as a refugee.”

Rye frowned. “Babe, they’re not just going to let me stay.”

“They will if you marry me.”

Rye blinked. “What?”

“Marry me. Why do you look so shocked?”

“Marry you?”

“Of course. We love each other. We both want to spend the rest of our lives
together. We’re determined to make our relationship work. Is that not what
marriage is all about?”

“But –” Rye frowned and shook her head.

“But, what? Are you about to say something stupid?”

Rye didn’t know what she was going to say. Marry Flora? Rye frowned down at the
second button of Flora’s blouse without a single erotic thought in her head.
Without any thought in her head.

“Stay with me. Be with me. Always. Crazy in love. My budmate.”

“You… you’d do that for me?”

Flora looked incredulous. “Do what? You make it sound like self-sacrifice. This
is what I want. To be honest, since I’m guessing it would be hard to frighten
you any more at this point, it’s what I’ve wanted since the first weeks of our
affair. This is not a quickie wedding to beat immigration. We have plenty of
evidence of that. Some supplied by a certain magazine.”

“You want to marry me? Despite –”

“I wouldn’t let you get away from me even if they extradite you to Fairyland.
I’d follow. I’d find a way. Barefoot, if necessary. On the other hand, you being
married to a United Forestlands citizen will throw a rather substantial stick in
the works of that proceeding.”