Broken Sound (12 page)

“Cassy, that money...”

“Don’t worry about it,” Cassy said.  “I’ll spend it.”

“Spend it?  You mean on Donald or utilities, right?”

Cassy lifted the book off the table and turned around.  “Don’t tell me you’re one of those guys.”

“What guys?”

“Guys who tell women how to spend their money.”

“I’m not... no.  I mean, I know maybe that’s not a lot of money but it’s something for now.  Until we get this sorted out.”

“Sorted out?”

Davey’s heart hurt.  He couldn’t bear to question who Donald’s father was.  But it had to be done, right?  It just had to be done.

“Show me the book,” Davey said.

Cassy led the way to the couch and he took a seat next to her. 

She opened the book, the first thing in it was the ticket stub from a Chasing Cross show.

“That’s the show,” she said.

Davey eyed the date and tried to mentally figure things out.  Donald’s age.  Nine months before that.  It all seemed to match, give or take a few weeks. 

Cassy had pictures from the concert, pictures of her and friends getting ready, at the show, even a few shots of the band playing.  There was one picture of Davey staring down at the camera, meaning to stare at Cassy.  When he saw his own eyes, he felt his stomach do a back flip.  The look in his eyes in the picture told him he wasn’t exactly sober during the show, and that his intentions that night were clear.

From there the pictures turned into a maternity delight. 

Pictures of pregnancy tests, eight in all.

“I wanted to make sure,” Cassy said.  “I mean, you can imagine how much of a shock it was, right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Davey said.

“I’m always on time, if you get what I mean by that... always on time.  So when I was a week late, I freaked out.  I drove across town to buy a pregnancy test just so nobody would see me.  I came home and it came up positive.  That’s when I called a few friends and showed them.  They didn’t believe it so each one bought a test.”

“And they were all positive,” Davey said.

“Obviously.” 

Cassy flipped the page and there was the first sonogram of Donald.  A tiny white speck in a black, uneven bubble.  As Cassy flipped the pages in the book, there were more sonograms, but then there were receipts. 

Receipts.

Davey looked at Cassy, confused, because he thought he was looking at a baby book.

“This part is for you,” Cassy said. 

She plopped the book into Davey’s lap.

“What is it?”

“All the receipts of what I bought for Donald,” Cassy said.  “Just so you can see how hard it is.  How expensive.  And on top of that, I’m alone.  With nobody to believe me.”

“I’m sorry about that...”

“Sorry?  Imagine telling your parents you’re pregnant.  And like I said, what were my choices?  Look like a slut and say I didn’t know who the father was?  Or look like a lunatic and say it was the guitarist from Chasing Cross.”

“I don’t know how to respond to that,” Davey said.

The receipts were in the hundreds.  Piles and piles of receipts.  From diapers to formula to the eight hundred dollar crib Donald slept in.  For needing money, Cassy sure wasn’t afraid to spend it.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Davey said, “how did you afford all this?”

“I have a good job,” Cassy said.  “In marketing.  My boss is a single mother and she lets me work from home as I need to.”

Davey knew there was more than just a good job but it wasn’t his business.  Donald was his business. 

“You want me to pay for all this?” Davey asked.

“Yeah, sure.  And that’ll make up for not being there.”

Cassy’s tone changed again, hurt and bitter.  Davey knew he had to absorb it the best he could.

“Look, Cassy, I can’t turn back time.  No money in the world can do that.”  Davey flipped the page to the last page in the book.  It was Donald’s newborn picture.  This little boy swimming in a blue and white stripped outfit, his small hands curled, his eyes barely open. 

“I’m not asking you to turn back time,” Cassy said.

“But it’s not fair to throw it in my face.  I’m not saying you did anything wrong, but I didn’t know about Donald until yesterday.”

“So you just fuck women all the time?  A new one each night?  How many kids do you have?”

The jab twisted at Davey’s heart and his stomach churned.  What if he did have more kids out there?  He thought about Anna.  He felt like saying something about her, but he knew Cassy was in a sensitive spot.

“It’s not like that,” Davey said.  “I’m not going to talk about what I’ve done.  It won’t change a thing.  I’m trying to stay present and figure this out.”

“I love how you say
figure this out
like it’s not a big deal, like you could just stand up and walk out that door.  And what?  Leave me?  Leave me carrying... everything...”

Davey heard Cassy’s voice crack.  He closed the leather book and gently placed it on the coffee table.  He turned towards Cassy and saw her staring straight ahead.  She hugged a small pillow and a tear trickled from the corner of her eye.  Davey, again, tried to put himself in her shoes.  Having to defend herself probably every single day.  To go through her young life like this. 

He reached for her, forcing Cassy to look at him.  She did, with an obvious apprehension, enjoying the attention.  Davey didn’t care, he just wanted to find a way to make things right. 

They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds.

Davey knew what he needed to do.  He needed to find a way to explain they needed to confirm his paternity to Donald.  They needed the legal proof to go forward in anything.  But it seemed so wrong to say or ask.  Unless Davey handed it to Peter.  Let the lawyers muck it up.

Donald let out a small cry from the bedroom that came over a monitor that stood on the television stand.  It pained Davey, knowing that Donald didn’t deserve lawyers.  Not when it could maybe be done this way.

“Cassy, I want to figure everything out,” Davey said.  “Okay?  I want what’s right and fair for you and Donald.  I’ve been hurt in my life too.  I don’t just like a big expensive life.  And if we get closer...”

The buzzer for Cassy’s intercom echoed.

Cassy smiled and jumped from the couch.  Cassy pushed the button and said, “Come on up, he’s here!”

“He’s here?” Davey asked.

Cassy looked at him and bit her lip.  “I hope you don’t mind.  I called some friends.  I can prove it now.”

“Prove it... Jesus, Cassy, no.  I haven’t agreed or said or... just no.  I’m not doing this.”

Davey stood up and Cassy’s face dropped.  The anger in her eyes worried Davey, but he needed to draw the line with her.

“Just walk out then,” Cassy said.  “Fine.  I’ll make sure I tell everyone what kind of father you are.  How you tried to pay me off.”

“Pay you off?” Davey asked.  “I’m helping you until we get to the bottom of the truth.”

“What’s the truth?”

“If I’m the father,” Davey said.  He sounded cold and he couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“You are the father,” Cassy said.

“Then let’s find out for sure.”

“Why?  You want me to look like a slut?”

“No.  Of course not.  I want the truth.  Legally... because of who I am...”

“Oh, sorry.  You’re just some big celebrity.”

A knock at the door ended the conversation.  It was a conversation that Davey knew he should have had earlier.  It was also a conversation that deserved an ending but it was cut short.

Cassy opened the door and four women poured in, all excited and in shock that Davey from Chasing Cross stood in their friend’s living room.

“I told you,” Cassy said.

“Oh my gosh,” one of them said.  “It’s... really him.”

“Where’s Johnnie?” another asked.  “Is he single?  I would let him impregnate me...”

Davey felt his lip curl and he looked at Cassy, ready to explode. 

“Cassy is a good woman,” someone said.  “She’ll take care of you.  Just take care of her.”

“Shut up, Danielle,” Cassy said.

“Wait,” the one asking about Johnnie cut in.  “When is the next album coming out?  I totally want to hear it before everyone else.  I’m connected now.”

She giggled.  Normally Davey could handle himself around fans.  In fact, he loved it.  He loved how much people loved Chasing Cross.  But not right then.  Not in that moment.

“Here, let’s do something,” one of them said. 

“Cassy,” Davey said, “please... we need to talk...”

Davey heard the sound of a camera shutter and looked to see one of the women taking his picture with her cell phone. 

“Whoa!” he cried out.  “Come on...”

Now there were four cell phones, all snapping pictures. 

Davey put his hands up and moved to the open door.

“You’re leaving?” Cassy asked.

Davey spun around and heard the cell phones going off again. 

“Cut it out!” he screamed at the women.

Donald then let out a long cry.  He was awake, thanks to the commotion.  Davey’s heart ached, wanting to push through the women to get to Donald.  But he had been set up right then, set up big time.  Cassy had him come over and then coordinated with her friends to see him there.

“If you walk away...”

Cassy couldn’t finish because Davey pointed at her.  “I want a test.  Bottom line.  I want a test.  You can keep the money, but I want a test.  I’m not going to live like this right now.”

Cassy stepped towards him.  Her friends were still holding their phones. 

“Live like what?  A free-to-fuck-anyone rockstar?  How about trying the single mom life.”

“Listen, I’m sorry about all of this,” Davey said.  “But I need to know if I caused it.  For sure.  This is unfair right now.  There’s no need for anyone to be involved.”

“There is when you’re alone,” Cassy shot back.

Davey bit his tongue and walked away.  Thinking of being alone made him think of Anna.  She was alone, she had been, and she needed someone. 

But first Davey needed to fix all he had wronged.

He grabbed his phone and dialed.

“Peter, listen... we need to fix this...”

(13)

“Here’s what I’m thinking, we open with the lead riff, nothing in the back, okay?  Then after the second time, bring in the chords, but just strum them.  Let them ring out.  Twice on that, then we bring it all together.  It’s like fading in the rhythm but doing it live, without equipment, cool?”

Davey watched Danny play the riff on the guitar but he really wasn’t seeing it.  All he could think about was that the guitar Danny played was the same one Anna had played. 

It had been days since he had seen or talked to Anna.  He managed to get her cell phone number thanks to a few phones calls to the restaurant.  Again, using his celebrity bothered Davey, but if it meant having a chance to see Anna again to explain everything to her, he’d stand on top of a building and play Chasing Cross songs until she answered his phone calls.  Then again, he only called her twice, leaving short messages, asking her to just call him to talk.  Part of him figured since he already messed up Cassy’s life, he didn’t want to run the risk of ruining Anna’s.

“Come on, let’s take this,” Danny said.

He tapped his foot on the floor, giving a four count.  He started playing the riff and Davey barely heard it.  At the end of the second time, Davey’s body took over, playing as Danny suggested.  That was the thing about music.  It wasn’t a hobby, it wasn’t a career, it wasn’t the idea of making millions off it.  It was Davey’s life.  It was enriched in his blood.  He could play any time in any state of mind and never miss a note.  He strummed the chords without thinking about it.  He kept his timing without focusing on Danny.  That was actually part of the amazing connection within Chasing Cross.  On those nights a few years back when they played bigger stages, Danny and Davey could stand  on opposite ends of the stage with their backs to each other and still hit the riffs and solos note for note.  Even when they played the solos together, going bar for bar, they never missed a note. 

Missing a note would be like missing a breath.

It would be like cutting the song short, ruining its life.

Davey started to strum now, playing the new song full swing.  Since the direction had been decided for an acoustic only album, thanks to lead singer Johnnie’s attempt (and success) at wooing a woman by playing an acoustic song at a recent show, all Danny wanted to do was write music. 

That didn’t bother Davey much, he really had nowhere else to go. 

The band always lingered for a week or so after a break in the tour came.  The breaks were more for the crew than the band.  Davey could head back to Colorado but he knew being in his quiet, peaceful house would only bring thoughts of Anna.  And thoughts of Cassy and Donald.