Broken Skies (16 page)

Lir sees all that in me? I’m a lot of things, panicky, hot-headed, impulsive… but all that? Maybe his vision isn’t as clear as he thinks it is.

“Even without knowing about my brother, with all the other things you could have disliked me for, why did you agree to go with me in the first place?”

“I didn’t have much choice at the time,” he says. “It was either stay with the humans who I knew would kill me or trust the one girl who might help me. Even then, I knew that there was something special about you. Given the choice again, knowing what I know now and where it would lead, I would still make the same one.” His head turns and I can see the shine of his eyes facing me. “You are everything I was taught humans were not.”

His fingertips brush across my cheek as he pushes a lock of hair behind my ear. “Jax, I—”

Bang! The sound travels through the small room and we both jump. Two more loud raps on the door send my heart into my throat and my pulse upwards. They’re back.

I cannot cower in the corner like I want to, not that I can really see where the corner is anyway. The noise reverberates through the room and I instinctively back away from its origin to my right. My back runs up against the cold metal wall and there’s nowhere else to go.

But this isn’t like before. I can fight back. I’m bigger, stronger and I know how to kill.

The fingers of one hand curl into claws, perfect for ripping and tearing. I won’t go quietly. Icy fear has no place in my body now. Instead, I’m filled with fire, burning me from the inside out and just waiting to be released. My breaths come quicker, expanding my lungs and filling my body with tension. A buzz starts at my toes and runs up my body. I’m on edge. I’m ready to spring, bouncing lightly on the balls of my feet.

“Stay with me, Jax,” says Lir. He is still holding my hand even though he hasn’t changed position. His hold anchors me, holding me there and giving me something to focus on. He won’t leave me. I’m not alone.

The tension recedes slightly and I squeeze his hand.

“When the door opens, I’m going to push one of these shelves over and out. You just need to run. Get out of here. I will be right behind you.” Questions run around in my head, but I can only nod, too busy working on switching from fight to flight.

The door edges open slowly, a narrow line of light appearing on the wall. At first it hurts my eyes, too long in the dark, and I have to squint against it. There’s only one shape in the doorway, not four like I’d feared.

It’s the young one, Zach, the one who shot us with the jolt gun now wavering in his grip.

Crash! A large metal shelf falls to the ground. Zach jumps backwards out of the way and I go. Jump onto the fallen shelf, step level to level until I’m out the door and back on the ground. I take a moment to look from side to side, but the other three men are nowhere in sight. We’re still in the store, so I run down an aisle and dart around the corner.

Where the hell is Lir? There’s no noise and a quick glance back confirms that he is not behind me as he said he would be. I should keep going, but I double back down the next aisle over, slowing into a creep as I approach the end near the cooler.

No Lir. No Zach. No one. The satchel, however, is sitting by the door. I’m not leaving it behind.

Five steps take me across the narrow space between the end cap and the satchel. I grab the strap and pull it over my head as I turn. My forward momentum stops when I crash into someone and bounce backwards, crashing back into the wall and losing my grip on the satchel.

The unbuckled flap flies open and I watch the cuff and my knife skitter across the floor to my right. Something else clatters down. The jolt gun. My attention turns back to Zach, the obstacle I ran into.

Zach’s gaze travels from my face to my hands to the jolt gun. I’m unarmed, but so is he. This will come down to who is quicker. And smarter.

I fake a step away from the knife, as if I’m going to run and he’s three steps in that direction before he realizes I went for the knife, not the exit.

My knife, the lighter object, traveled farther across the floor, so by the time I’ve reached it, Zach is almost to the jolt gun. There’s no time for me to move in before he’ll be able to get the gun up.

Jace is the knife thrower, not me, but he did give me one lesson. I hope it took.

A deep breath. I pull a picture of Jace into my mind, replaying the image of him throwing his knife into a tree trunk.
Flip the grip. Hold the blade. Arm straight down. Don’t flick the wrist.

The knife leaves my fingers and rotates one…two…three… four times before sinking into the side of Zach’s neck. He’s still moving, but blood wells out around the knife and when he removes it a flood of red gushes out.

After two staggered steps to the side, he falls to one knee and then tilts sideways onto the ground, landing so that the blood pours over his face and pools on the floor under his head. His chest rises for two wet breaths and then stills. His fingers twitch once as if he’s still trying to reach the gun that sits only inches from his outstretched hand.

So much blood. I close my eyes and swallow three times then step closer, my face a blurry shadow over the red pool on the floor. The burn starts in my stomach, traveling to the back of my throat and then I’m on my knees, vomiting up the entire can of cold, congealed beans.

By the time my stomach has stopped heaving, the pool of blood has spread out, wetting my knees and extending under the gun. I grab it anyway and wipe it on my pants. Doesn’t really do much, but… it’s something. I spring to my feet and turn to find Lir standing behind me.

“I told you to run,” he says.

“I didn’t see you. I couldn’t leave without you…” My voice is hoarse, and I cough to clear my throat. “I saw the satchel. I didn’t see him. He went for the gun. I didn’t have a choice…” Tremors climb up my arms and the jolt gun vibrates against my thigh with the movement. Tears creep into my eyes. I just want him to understand. “I don’t want to be a killer. He was just—and I—” The words get stuck in my throat and my stomach turns again. My breath comes in wheezing gasps and spots form at the edges of my vision.

Lir leans closer until he’s right in my face, pinning my eyes with his. “Calm down. I understand. You did the right thing.” He turns until he’s next to me and puts his arm around my shaking shoulders. “We need to get out of here before the others get back.”

As if called by his words, voices sound from the front of the store. Lir pulls me away from the body, gently but persistently. “Let’s go.”

I could have run. I was faster. I should have left, but… “I got the gun.” The barrel shakes back and forth when I hold it up.

He picks up my knife from the floor— blood blood red— wipes it on his pants and holds it out to me. I shake my head so he slides it into his pocket. “We need to go.”

I let him pull me up the aisle, my feet dragging across the floor. I stop and lean down to grab the fallen
kitu
as we pass.

That kid…Zach… He wasn’t much older than me. And I killed him. But he’s not the first man I killed, he’s the third. Is this how it started with Jace? Did Jace become a killer because I did first? Maybe that’s why I didn’t see it in him. I’m a killer too, a murderer. Blood splashed scenes flash through my head until I have to shake my head to get them to stop. It’s all I can do to put one foot in front of the other and I cannot afford to lose myself in the memories I’ve so desperately pushed aside.

Lir stops at the end of every aisle and listens. The voices are moving away from us, pleasant tones punctuated with laughter. They won’t be laughing long. I’m sure it won’t be long before they find their comrade and come after us.

And then, “Zach? Zach?” Metal clatters on the ground. A gun dropping? “He’s still warm. They aren’t far. Find them!” Running footsteps fill the air. “We’re coming for you erk, you and your whore!” The voice breaks on a sob. “You killed my brother. You killed him.”

Lir stops and tries to pull the gun away from me, but I don’t release it. They’ll come after us, but I just can’t. “Just run. No more fighting today. No more blood.”

The doors aren’t far and we break through them and into the cool night air well before the men catch up to us.

* * * * * * *

The signs of abandoned civilization fade behind us as we reach the woods and plunge ahead. I take the lead, jumping and ducking erratically to avoid branches and roots. Lir stumbles, but regains his feet before I even have a chance to look back. I keep my eyes focused on the trees, looking for the right one. I see it ahead and slow. Releasing Lir’s hand I point to the tree and then point up.

My hands scramble against the bark and my feet search for purchase as I shimmy up. I’m able to grab one of the lower branches to help me and climb until the limbs start creaking under my weight. It should be high enough. Lir follows, out of breath and sweaty. He collapses against the trunk of the tree, wedged in a vee where it meets a branch. I’m a few branches above him, so I climb down until I can squeeze in next to him.

It’s awkward trying to share the small space with Lir and I end up with half my butt hanging off the branch. Moving to another branch is an option, but I can’t bring myself to move away. I need the reassurance that he brings to me. The shot of adrenaline is wearing off and the tremble in my hands has spread to my limbs and escalated into violent shaking.

Lir grabs one my hands and motions for me to scoot forward. Then he settles me between his legs with my back against his chest. It’s calming being so close to him, my body flush against his. My breaths even out and my pulse slows. I relax into him, enjoying the feel of his chest rising and falling against my back. I shouldn’t be enjoying it, this strange new closeness between us. I don’t deserve it. A warm feeling tingles in my body at his nearness and I try to ignore it.

I’m not an idiot. I know about the birds and the bees and I know about love and feelings… but knowing about something and knowing what it feels like are two completely different things. Obviously, I’m attracted to Lir, but even that is a new experience for me. The only boys I’ve really spent time around have been my brother and Flint. Of course, Jace is my brother so I’m not going to be attracted to him, but it is different than how I feel around Flint too. Flint is my friend, really more my brother’s than mine, but being close to him has never made me feel like this.

When the men come crashing through the woods nearby, Lir pulls me in closer and wraps his arms around me. My eyes close, almost by themselves. His breath, still coming in faster than normal spurts, tickles my neck and he’s pulled me so close I can even feel the beat of his heart. I should pull away, reassert my boundaries, something, anything to push him away. I’m dirty and sweaty and covered in another man’s blood, but all I can do is think about how nice it is to let someone else take control for a while, how nice it is to be pressed against him with his arm circling me, protecting me. We stay like that for a while, me leaned in close to him, even after the sounds of the men have long disappeared.

“Jax?” Lir whispers into my ear.

“Mmmmm?” Between the warmth and the feeling of safety, I’ve almost drifted off to sleep.

“Do you think it’s safe to get down now?”

My eyes spring open. What the hell was I thinking? I keep my face turned away so he can’t see my embarrassment when I answer. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

I jerk away from him and climb down a few branches until I can easily jump down to the ground. While Lir works his way out of the tree, I pull myself together. Yeah, we’re friends, allies, but anything more between me and Lir is just a foolish… what exactly? Not a dream, not a wish… just an idea. A stupid one. He’s going back to his city and I’m taking Jace home…wherever that may be.

I let Lir lead the way this time and we walk directly opposite the path the men took. Who knows if we’re even going in the right direction anymore? I can only hope that come morning I’ll be able to find a distinguishable landmark on the map so we can get back on track.

What I wouldn’t give for something to rinse my mouth out with. The stale taste of vomit coats my throat and the knees of my pants are beginning to stiffen with dried blood. I don’t care much where we wake up in the morning as long as I can get clean. I cannot walk around with the blood on me. When we finally stop to sleep, my rest will be filled with nightmares for sure.

Even awake, the wet thunk of the knife entering his throat replays in my ears and the creeping chill of anxiety climbs my spine. My hands wipe against my jeans again and again, without me even thinking about it. There’s no blood on them, not really, but I just can’t get them clean and I need them to be clean. In. Out. In. Out. Wipe. Wipe.

It’s late. I’m tired. “I’ve gotta stop. I can’t…I can’t…” I slump against a tree. “I…”

“You don’t have to explain. We can stop here,” he says.

Lir backs up until he’s beside me and slides to the ground. I follow him down and he adjusts me until we’re half-sitting half-laying down in a similar position to how we were in the tree, me between his legs with my back resting against his chest. My breaths are still ragged and the sound of the knife…my knife… hitting its target is starting to drown out everything else.

I sway back and forth, rocking slightly to the beat of my breathing. He doesn’t say a word, just holds me until I gain control of myself and lean back against him.
It will be okay. I had to do it. Just like before.
No! I will not think about that. I slam my eyes shut and squeeze them closed so tightly bright lights play behind my eyelids.