Broken Silence (19 page)

Walter escorted me to the café where everyone was sitting. I paused at the entrance to the café and watched them all for a minute; all these amazing people who had stood by me. They sat around two pushed-together tables in silence. Mum stared at her mug. Her face was pale. Cole spotted me first and jumped up, so I took that as my cue and walked towards them.

I sat in the chair Jasper pulled over for me between him and Cole.

“How’re you doing, honey?” Mum asked. She hadn’t moved an inch. It was as if she was made of stone.

“Um. I don’t know. Do you all know what’s going on?”

Mum nodded. “Yes. We were told just a few minutes ago. We wanted to come and find you but were told you were with Linda.”

“Okay, good.”

Why wasn’t Jasper at least celebrating? This was good, right? They found the one concrete thing that backed my version up and proved I was telling the truth. I didn’t want to celebrate because it felt wrong but I thought they would. Did they think something was going to happen? The evidence would be somehow dismissed? That couldn’t happen.

Cole gripped my hand, and we fell silent again. I felt sick. I didn’t like them being happy about any part of this trial but the fact that they weren’t terrified me. 

After one hour and forty-seven minutes, I saw Linda walking toward us with purpose. In that time we had quietly drunk too many hot drinks and entered in a few light conversations.

“The jury have reached their decision,” she said.

Mum jumped up. “Already?”

Linda nodded once. “If you all want to make your way back.”

I stood up and was about to follow Linda when Mum pulled me into a hug. “It’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, it will,” I replied, and for the first time I truly believed it was.

I walked back with Linda and entered the courtroom. I would be allowed to sit with my family, but Linda quickly ran through what would happen and how the judge would ask for the jury’s decision on each individual charge.

Stepping into the public gallery, I found my mum and brother and sat in the seat between them. I made eye contact with as many members of the jury I could. There was no way they could believe him over me now, but I was still terrified.

“Have the ladies and gentlemen of the jury reached their decision?” the judge asked, her voice business-like and intimidating.

A tall lady with long grey hair and bright red lipstick stood up. “Yes we have, Your Honour.” I took a deep breath. My palms started to sweat.

“On the charge of administering a substance with intent to commit sexual offences, how do you find the defendant?”

“Guilty.” The air left my lungs in a rush.

“On the charge of trafficking within the UK for sexual exploitation, how do you find the defendant?”

“Guilty.”

“On the charge of controlling a child prostitute or a child involved in pornography, how do you find the defendant?”

“Guilty.”

“On the charge of causing or inciting child prostitution or pornography, how do you find the defendant?”

I held my breath and watched the lady’s red lips say, “Guilty.”

“On the charge of holding indecent photographs of children, how do you find the defendant?”

“Guilty.”

“On the charge of  abuse of position of trust: causing or inciting a child to engage in sexual activity, how do you find the defendant?”

“Guilty.”

“On the charge of sexual assault on a child, how do you find the defendant?”

“Guilty.” A sob erupted in front of me, and a woman fell against a man who I assumed was her husband. She must have been one of the women he abused.

l let out a breath that I felt I’d been holding for years. Guilty on all charges. The jury believed me. They believed all of us.

Chapter Nineteen

Oakley

I watched Cole pour the paint into the tray and couldn’t help picturing this as
our
house, rather than just his.

“Ready?” he asked, passing me a paintbrush. After pressing his lips to mine briefly, he dunked his brush in the paint and slapped it on the wall.

“Cole?”

He looked over his shoulder. “Hmm?”

“I don’t think I like this colour any more.” His face dropped, making me laugh. “I’m joking.”

“Oh, good one,” he replied flatly. “Get to work you.”

His whole posture was casual, and he had been playful all day. Tomorrow my father was going to be sentenced. Since I’d given evidence, three weeks ago, Cole had been deliberately keeping me distracted. He let me cry, promised everything would be okay whatever the sentence, but he always had something planned to take my mind off the waiting and worrying.

I dipped the paintbrush in the Caramel Blush paint and started on the living room wall. Mum was right when she said helping Cole would take my mind of off Dad’s sentencing. I wasn’t convinced at first but I was enjoying doing it now.

The muscles in Cole’s arms flexed as he moved the brush up and down. Painting with him took so long, but somehow, between the kissing, flirting and play fights we managed to get the first coat in the living room done.

I smiled at our work. The room looked so warm and inviting already. I couldn’t wait to see it completely finished with the sofas, coffee and TV table and large rug.

Cole sighed and flopped his arm over my shoulder. “Well, we’re done for today. Shall we go get ready?” We were going to dinner at his parent’s tonight, along with Mum, Miles and Jasper.

I leant against his side. “Yep. I need feeding soon. Want to share a shower? Save water and all.” And I needed the comfort and normality of us.

“Best offer I’ve had all day.” He kissed the side of my head and grabbed the paint tray and brushes so we could wash them before we left.

“Oakley,” Jenna smiled warmly, giving me a hug the second I walked into the house. “You don’t bring her here enough,” she scolded her son.

Cole held his hands up. “We’ve been busy, and you’re often very embarrassing.”

“Please, I watched you pee your pants when you were a kid. How much more embarrassing can it get?” I teased.

He pretended to take offence: “I was four and I’d had a load to drink.”

“Uh huh.” Jenna laughed and pulled my hand, leading me through to the kitchen. Cole followed behind, grumbling.

That was one of my earliest memories. I was only just three. We were all visiting the Lake District and had taken a long walk. We were told to keep drinking water because it was hot. Cole needed the toilet but refused to do it outside in case a bee stung his
‘
winkie’. Bless him he had to walk back commando in my white shorts – the only spare clothing we had.

Mia sat at the kitchen counter, staring at her laptop.

“Hey, Mia,” I called.

She jumped up and off the seat, pulling me into a tight hug. “How are you?”

“I’m good.” And I was. Well, certainly doing a lot better since Dad had been found guilty. They believed me and not him. Whatever the sentence was, I would always have that. “What are you up to?” I sat down beside her.

“Looking for a place. I want a two-bedroom flat with a nice big garden for Leona to play.”

“Where is Leona?”

Mia smiled. “It’s Chris’ weekend again so she’ll be driving him up the wall instead of me.”

“Do you and Chris get along more now?”

She shrugged. “Most of the time. We’re arguing at the minute because he wants to introduce his new girlfriend to Leona, but I refused. This is the third one this year, and it’s not been that long. I don’t want random women walking in and out of Leona’s life.”

I nodded. That sounded reasonable. Mia didn’t have men coming and going so Chris shouldn’t have women. It would only be upsetting to Leona if she got attached to whoever the woman was and then they broke up. “What did he say?”

“He didn’t look that happy when I said no, but he’s agreed to wait. I don’t care if he’s happy about it or not to be honest.”

“You don’t think he would just do it anyway?”

“No. He wouldn’t do anything that could hurt Leona. We agreed that she wouldn’t meet anyone either of us is dating until we’ve been with them for at least six months. Oh look, this one is nice.” She pointed to a semi-detached bungalow. It was quaint and pretty with cream-rendered walls and colourful flowers hanging in baskets.

I grabbed her mobile from the counter and handed it to her. “Call the estate agent.”

Jenna gasped. “You found somewhere?” She rushed over to look at the pictures. “Oh, good. It’s not too far. Closer to me than your house, Cole.”

“Cut the cord, Mother,” he replied. His arms wound around my waist, and his chin rested on my shoulder as he took a peak at the house on Mia’s laptop.

I snuggled back against his chest and smiled. Should I love him as much as I did? It was overwhelming sometimes. How I managed four years not seeing or touching him, I didn’t know.

“Oh, shut up.” Jenna slapped his arm and turned her attention back to the laptop. “It’s gorgeous, Mia.”

What would Jenna do when they had all moved out? She loved having a full house. I was sure they would visit a lot, and she would have Leona to sleep over whenever Mia would let her, but it wouldn’t be the same.

“You alright?” Cole whispered against my neck. His breath tickled my skin, and I closed my eyes, gasping.

“Yeah,” I mumbled. I felt his lips turn up in a smile against my skin. He knew the effect he had on me. “Are we painting the bedrooms soon?”

I felt him shrug against my back. “If you want.”

“I do want. You need to decide what colour to do your study though.” The fourth room upstairs was too small to be a bedroom, so it was going to be his study. I doubted he would use it much.

“Light blue?” I didn’t know why he asked for my opinion so much. This was his place. He didn’t need me to agree on anything.

“Light blue sounds good. We can pick some up bright and early in the morning.”
             

“There’s no way I’m leaving the house before ten.” I’d learnt that early wall-painting sessions, or any painting sessions actually, were not something Cole enjoyed. In fact, they made him whine like a four-year-old. “There’s something I need to do first thing anyway. I’ll pick you up after.”

I frowned. “What do you need to do?”

He shook his head and chuckled. “So nosey. It’s a surprise so you’ll have to wait.”

I looked at Jenna and Mia. “Do you two know?”

Jenna grinned. “Nope.”

Liar. I let it go because I knew Cole wouldn’t tell me.

“Fine. I can wait.”

Mum, Jasper, and Miles arrived twenty minutes later. Miles’ hand slid down Mum’s back as they walked into the kitchen, and I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. She was letting him in, trusting him, and allowing herself to be happy again.
About time!

“Wine and beer in the fridge, red’s on the counter, help yourselves to whatever you like,” Jenna said, stirring something on the hob while playing with the timer on the oven.

“Good day?” I asked Mum. Clearly a loaded question.

She glared. “Yes, thank you.”

We sat in the living room to eat the home-cooked Chinese food. I loved lounging around at their house and chatting about nothing important. No one mentioned the sentencing tomorrow or Frank’s looming trial, and I was thankful for that. I just wanted to chill for the evening with friends, family, and the man I was crazy about.

“So,” Cole said, resting his chin on my shoulder as we sat with my back to his chest on the soft carpet. “You know I love you, right?”

I frowned. “Yes…” Where was he going with this?

“Good.”

“Good?” I repeated, and he nodded. “You’re strange.”

“Happy and in love actually.”

“So cheesy,” I teased, wrapping his arms around my waist.

Cole spent the night, as usual, and I woke up to him sleeping next to me again. He rarely woke first. Reaching out, I gently stroked my fingers down his cheek. “Cole,” I whispered.

He groaned. “No.”

I laughed. “We have to get up soon. We need to be at court in a couple hours.”

His eyes flicked open, and he rolled onto his side to face me. He looked wide awake now. I wish I was able to forget like him. From the second I opened my eyes I pictured Dad standing in that room, waiting to hear his fate.

“How are you feeling about today?”

What
was
I feeling? Too many things at once made it impossible to figure out what the main emotion was.

“I’m not sure. I never thought I would be doing this.”

“You never should have had to.”

No, he was right, I shouldn’t, but paedophiles, murderers and rapists had families too. They didn’t always live alone. They didn’t have distinguishing features or a tattoo on their forehead. They could be anyone, in any seemingly normal house. They might be charming, loveable, and known and liked by everyone around them. And I was unfortunate that my father happened to be one of them.

I smiled at Cole to acknowledge his words without having to reply, and got out of bed to get ready.

Jasper opened the bathroom door just as I got to it. His face was sombre. “Hey,” he grumbled.

“Hey. You alright?”

“Nope. You?”

“Nope.”

He leant against the door frame. “I hope he dies in prison.”

“Jasper…” There was a time when Dad was Jasper’s hero. I knew he hated what Dad had done, but he had to feel more than anger and hatred. Emotions were never that straightforward.

“Don’t, Oakley. I’m okay. Get ready, yeah? We need to go soon.” Jasper walked back into his room, and I felt awful for him.

Sighing, I walked into the bathroom and closed the door.
Let’s just get this over with.

I sat between Mum and Jasper in the public gallery. Cole was on the chair in front of me, and my family were dotted around. I wanted to be between Mum and Jasper rather than Cole because I wanted to show Dad that he hadn’t broken us.

My heart felt as if it was going to burst right out of my chest. I wanted him to get the maximum sentence but at the same time, I felt wrong for wanting that.

Separating who he was from knowing he was my dad was hard. I wished he could have been different but now all I could hope for was that he wasn’t ever given the opportunity to hurt another girl.

Dad seemed older and smaller. He stood with his shoulders hunched over and looked at the floor. His hair had greyed so much he looked ten years older. I couldn’t believe, looking at this man in front of me, that I had ever been afraid of him. But appearances were deceptive.

The judge stood up, in what felt like slow motion. I took Mum and Jasper’s hands and prayed that my father would spend the rest of his life in prison. When the judge opened her mouth, I couldn’t hear a thing, just a ringing in my ears.

My head felt light and I could just about lip-read. I caught a few words. ‘Gross abuse of trust’ and ‘Danger to young children’ were the only things I could pick out. I blinked rapidly, spilling my tears.
Please.

Jasper sucked his breath through his teeth and gripped my hand.
What?
The courtroom burst into life, but I hadn’t heard what the sentence was.

“What happened?” The shrill ringing in my ears and distant murmuring was still all I could hear.

Mum gripped my arms and cried. “Life, Oakley. He will never hurt anyone again.” Her voice sounded muffled, as if I was hearing her from under water, but I made out every word. My father received a life sentence.

Breathing in sharply, I collapsed into Mum’s arms.
He got life.
How would he cope in prison? Why did I even care? Oh God.

I pulled back from Mum and looked down at him again. His eyes were wide with shock. The dad I knew had gone fifteen years ago. I felt the air rush to my lungs as I finally let go. He wasn’t my dad, and I didn’t ever want to see him again. He was nothing to me now.

As he was being led away to start serving his sentence, he looked up. Our eyes met, and there was nothing. No remorse. His expression was empty.

My heart was beating at a hundred miles an hour and I wanted to run, but I held his gaze, refusing to back down.

Mum and Jasper both put their arm around me. The last image he would have of his family would be us standing strong together, watching him being hauled away.

Goodbye, Dad.

“Honey?” Mum whispered..

“It’s okay now, Mum,” I whispered. “We’re going to be okay.”

Back at Ali’s, I went up to Lizzie’s room for a few minutes to clear my head. Downstairs a celebration had started, but I couldn’t bring myself to raise a glass to helping put him behind bars. I had gone through too much to be able to celebrate anything connected to what happened to me.