Broken Silence (13 page)

“So what’s your point?”

My mouth opened in disbelief. “Well…
all of that.”

“That’s what you’re letting come between you? You need to man up, Cole. If you love her, then all of that other stuff will work itself out. Just grab her and kiss her.”

“Man up,” I muttered under my breath. It wasn’t a case of manning up; it was a case of not knowing what Oakley wanted it. “I don’t know.”

“You’re scared of getting rejected again? Like when she left you before.”

“Thank you for bringing that up again.”

“You’re a fool, man.”

Was he right? Was the only reason I wasn’t giving us another chance because I was scared she would leave me behind again? Of course that scared me, but I was older this time. I could move to Australia so why was I holding back?

After paintballing and losing, epic-style yet again, I dropped Ben off and called Oakley.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey. What’re you doing?”

“Nothing much. Everyone’s out, so I’ve just had a shower and I’m now watching re-runs of
Friends.
How was paintballing?”

“Fun and painful. Ben, the bastard, shot me in the same place over and over. I need someone to kiss it better.”

“Yeah? You’re mum’s pretty good at that stuff.”

“Don’t!” I yelped.

She laughed, and the effect it had on me answered Ben’s question: I
was
scared of losing her again. Terrified, in fact. But I had to take a chance.

“Look, I’m driving so I’ll call you later, okay.”

“Okay,” she replied, sounding confused by the abrupt call.

I was nervous. Really nervous, but I couldn’t wait any more.

Oakley opened the door and frowned.

“I thought you said you’d call later?”

Her damp blonde hair had just started to curl. It draped down her arms. Her make-up had been stripped off, leaving her fresh-faced. She had never looked more beautiful to me.

For a second I was frozen. She was perfect, absolutely perfect. I soon snapped out of it. Stepping forward, I slid one hand in her hair and the other around the back of her back, drawing her closer. She opened her mouth slightly to say something but closed it again. I didn’t give her chance to talk. I pressed my lips to hers and kissed her with everything I had.

My heart felt like it was going to rip out of my chest. I pulled her closer; our bodies pressed together almost painfully as we both tried getting as close as physically possible.

The kiss became urgent. Her fingers dug into my back, and she whimpered. That was it. I picked her up, and her legs wrapped around me.

I kissed her deeply and walked forward. I’d had enough messing around. I just needed her again. So I did the thing I had wanted to do since the second she walked back into my life, I carried her upstairs to bed.

Chapter Thirteen

Oakley

My eyes fluttered open and the first thing I saw was Cole sleeping beside me again. The cover was pulled down revealing half his naked chest. He looked so peaceful. I still wasn’t used to seeing him every morning. We had been back together almost a week, and I couldn’t be happier. Everything was so easy with him. We could do absolutely nothing and I would still have a great time.

Being in Cole’s house again felt amazing, but at the back of my mind I couldn’t help thinking how close it was to my old home; the scene of so many things I wanted to forget. I refused to look at it, but that didn’t stop me knowing it was there.

Cole thinks I should look and face it. Every single good memory was overshadowed by the bad ones though. I should knock on the door and see if the new owners would let me look around.

‘Face your fears head on’ was what Cole said, but I was doing that with the trial. Seeing the house as well was too much.

Cole stirred beside me, rubbing his eyes as he woke up. I watched him with a content smile until his eyes met mine. He reached out and stroked my cheek. Touching me was the first thing he did when he woke up, it was as if he had to make sure I was actually there.

“Good morning,” I whispered, closing my eyes at the feel of his fingertips gently gliding across my jaw.

“Morning,” he replied and kissed me. “I love spending Sunday mornings like this, and every other morning actually.”

I sighed and pressed my head into his shoulder, breathing him in. “Me too.”

“What are we doing today then?”

“You don’t have to keep me busy to stop me thinking about tomorrow, Cole.”

His chest bounced gently underneath me as he laughed.

“You know me too well. Are you okay about tomorrow though? You’ve not really mentioned the trial recently.”

“That’s because I’ve been too happy.”

Cole grinned, making that little dimple show. “What made you so happy?”

“Watching
Hollyoak
s again. I missed it,” I replied.

His fingers suddenly jabbed in my side gently as he started tickling me.

“Cole! No!” I squealed and wriggled, trying to get away. “Okay, okay! It’s you!”

Cole stopped immediately. “I thought so.”

It suddenly occurred to me there was something I needed to do.

“I’d like to go shopping today. I kind of have a feeling that this will the last time I’ll be able to do it in peace.”

Once the reporters learned I was back instead of giving evidence from Australia, I knew they wouldn’t leave me alone. The case had become high profile because the arrest of my father uncovered one of the biggest paedophile rings in our area ever. That was the only thing I was proud of, stopping that.

“Whatever you want,” he replied, kissing my forehead.

I got up and pulled the cover off him. “Let’s get ready then.”

This was going to be the last day that was somewhat normal, and I was determined to make the most of it.

“No trial talk today. It’s banned,” I said to Cole as we walked downstairs.

After breakfast, I went to have a shower and get dressed. Cole’s house was empty, and I didn’t ask where everyone was because I had a feeling they had gone out to give me and Cole time alone.

I got out of the shower and dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. Cole was sitting on his bed when I got back into his room. He frowned. “Why’d you get dressed?”

“Because, we’re going out now!” I shook my head and sat on the bed. “Do you need to shower first or are you walking around dirty?”

“I happen to like dirty.”

“Shower, Cole!” I ordered, and tried not to grin.

While he was showering, I put on some make-up. Every time I brushed mascara over eye lashes or stroked lip gloss across my lips it was like sticking two fingers up at my dad. I could finally make choices for myself and wasn’t controlled by him.

“Are you ready?” Cole asked as he walked back into his bedroom. He wore a white T-shirt and dark blue jeans. Even dressed so plainly he still took my breath away.

“I’m ready.”

I got off the bed and set down my compact mirror on his bedside table. In the corner of his room was a stack of large cardboard boxes where he had started packing. In about two weeks he would be moving into his first house. His and the vendor’s solicitors were currently sorting out all the legal stuff, but because there was no chain the sale was going through quickly.

I couldn’t wait for him to move in. We already had most of the paint he needed and had chosen a new kitchen and bathroom suite. The carpets were picked out, and he was going to order a little closer to the time.

“Where is everyone?” I asked. I couldn’t not ask any more. There was no way I wanted his family to feel like they had to go out of their own house because of me.

“Mia’s taken Leona to her Tots Music and Movement class, and my dad’s taken Mum somewhere.”

That didn’t really answer my question. I wanted to know if they had planned to do that anyway.

Cole grabbed his keys and slipped his shoes on. “Mall or town?”

“Mall. That okay with you?”

He shrugged. “I couldn’t care less, Oakley!” Right, he hated shopping.

Neither of us spoke on the drive to the mall, but we didn’t need words. I was content to sit with him and mentally plan what I was going to buy. I didn’t really want anything in particular, just retail therapy. We pulled into a parking space and got out.

“Where to first?” Cole asked as we walked towards the entrance. His hand quickly found mine, and we both squeezed at the same time.

After shopping and one of the best Indian meals I’d ever had, we went back to Cole’s parents’ house. There driveway was empty still. Cole must have arranged an all-day thing with them. “Where is everyone?” I questioned again. I felt a really uneasy being the reason they were kicked out of their own house.

“Still out I guess,” he replied. “Want to watch a movie or…?”

“Movie sounds good. ‘Or’ later.”

He smiled. “Definitely
or
later.”

I slumped down on the sofa and sighed. “Thanks for today. It was nice to do something normal.”

Cole sat beside me. “How do you feel about tomorrow?”

“Uh uh.” I shook my head. We had agreed not to do this. “Later, please. I just want to relax with you for a while.”

“Alright. Come here.” He held his arm out, and I snuggled against his side. “You care what we watch?”

“Nope.”

He flicked the TV on with the remote and found a movie. I closed my eyes and hugged him tight. I didn’t care about the film. I just wanted to be close to Cole. “I love you,” I murmured into his chest.

I felt his smile against my hair. “I love you too.”

“Oakley?” I frowned and opened my eyes. “Hey, sleepy,” Cole said, smiling down at me.

Sitting up, I stretched out like a cat. “Sorry.” I looked up and saw Cole
’s parentss and Mia were home.
Embarrassing!

“Hey,” I said, smiling sheepishly.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Jenna replied.

“Where’s Leona?” The house was too quiet, and there was no way I would be able to sleep if she was around.

“I dropped her off at Chris’ earlier. It’s his night,” Mia explained. I knew she hated sharing Leona with Chris, but she did it because Leona loved her dad.

“Your mum called a little while ago. You should at least text her and let her know you’re okay. I think she’s worrying,” Cole said, handing me my mobile.

I took it from him and started a new text to Jasper’s phone since Mum’s was still in Australia. “Thanks.” I knew she worried, too much sometimes.

‘
I’m fine Mum. Spending the day with Cole and will see you tomorrow morning. You okay?’

I didn’t want to elaborate much more than that and get into a full conversation in case it turned to tomorrow.

Mum replied a few minutes later. ‘OK honey. We’re fine, Jasper driving me crazy. Have a nice night and we’ll talk tomorrow. Love you.’

Cole and I ate with his family and then went upstairs for an early night. Our shopping bags were beside his bed. I had no idea when he brought them up, probably when I was sleeping on the sofa.

He closed the door and walked towards me. Something changed between us. It was like a surge of electricity. Neither of us said a word as we collided. His mouth was on mine, kissing me. We were a tangle of lips and tongues.

I woke up in Cole’s arms again and managed to smile. Even on the day I’d been dreading for so long, he still managed to make me feel happy. He was already awake, and by the dark half circles under his eyes he must have been for a while.

“You didn’t sleep well,” I said, stroking underneath his eye.

“Not really,” he whispered, pressing his lips to my forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“Sick and nervous. I just want it to be over already.”

“You’ll be fine though, and I’ll be right there the whole time.”

That was half the problem. Having to spill every single detail in front of the people I loved the most was awful. I didn’t want them to know what I had gone through.

I kissed him and slipped out of bed, wrapping my robe around me. “I know you will be. Thank you.”

Without another word, I went into the bathroom to get ready. I looked into the mirror and sighed.
You can do this, Oakley.
I wished they could make him do a lie detector so none of us would have to talk up about anything.

Mum, Jasper, Ali, and Lizzie sat on the sofa in Cole’s lounge when I got downstairs. How long had they been there? They all looked up at me with the same forced smile.

“How are you holding up?” Mum asked.

“Okay. You?”

She nodded. “Okay. Nan and Grandad are meeting us there. They said to say hello and good luck.” I smiled, not knowing what to say to that.

I wasn’t sure if Dad’s parents would be there or not. I understood if they didn’t come. No one wanted to hear what a monster their own child had turned out to be. It wasn’t my grandparents fault though. It was all Dad.

Ali stood up and hugged me. “My beautiful, brave niece. I’m so proud of you,” she whispered in my ear.

“Thanks, Ali,” I whispered back.

“Are we ready to go?” Jenna asked.

Numbness. That was all I felt as we parked outside court. Absolute numbness. It was as if it was happening to someone else. I looked at the front doors and was shocked to see so many reporters outside. It looked like something I had seen on TV when a celebrity was on trial.

My heart started beating too fast, and my lungs felt as if they were being crushed. “We’re going in at the side. Linda arranged it so you won’t have to face that,” Mum said, nodding at the large crowd.

I swallowed. “Okay.”

Mum, Cole, and Jasper got out of the car, and I opened my door.
I felt rooted to the spot. I wanted to lock the car and hide in the foot well until it was over.

Jasper knelt down. “Are you ready, Oakley?” He held out his hand.
You can do it. Just take your brother’s hand. He won’t let you fall.

Reaching out, I placed my hand in his and stepped out of the car.

“I’m ready.”

As soon as I was out I was being ushered into the building quickly. Before anyone could recognise us. Linda was meeting us inside, so we stopped a little way in from the door.

I leant against the window and concentrated on breathing. My stomach was in knots.
I’m not ready for this.
Cole wrapped his arms around me. It was as if he understood what I was thinking. How on earth could I go in there and face
him
when even the thought of it made me panic.

I mentally counted down the minutes until I would have to see him. Everything came flooding back. I could see everything happen as if I were watching a horror movie. I was on the outside, looking in at a terrified child as her
dad allowed his friend to abuse her. Dad’s face burned into my memory, looking on with no emotion whatsoever.

My eyes stung, and bile rose up my throat. I pulled back, and Cole frowned.

“Where’s Linda?” I asked. I wasn’t going to last much longer, so I needed to just do it.

“Oakley?” Linda called, jogging towards me. I turned and headed her way, leaving behind my confused family and friends. Are you ready?”
No, not at all.
Nodding in a daze, I flattened my jacket. “Would you like a minute with your family?”

“No, let’s just go,” I replied.

“Oakley?” Jasper called, but I ignored him and followed Linda.

I couldn’t look back. I forced my feet to follow her, and with every step, even the simplest thing, breathing, became a challenge.

Linda took me to a small room that had a few chairs and a dark wood coffee table in it. “This is where we’ll come if you need a break. Remember you can have one whenever you need. If it gets too much just tell me, okay?”