Broken Road (25 page)

“Renae?” It was Riley but she decided not to answer him. “It’s me. Are you okay?” he asked but she made no effort to move. Another knock followed by another and then silence.
Go away!
Her mind was filled with all the things that happened over the last few months and she felt overwhelmed. Paralyzed by each memory that passed through her mind Brenda wondered if she was being punished for what she had done. The farmhouse, Riley and his faulty memory were as close to purgatory as she could imagine. But Brenda was determined. So what if Riley didn’t remember? She would spend the rest of her time in Nebraska changing all of
 
that. She would wait. She would
make
him remember.

After the strange night on the porch, things seemed to return to normal which in a way seemed stranger still. When Renae finally emerged from her room it was as if nothing strange had happened at all. She was calm and ready to get to work on their long list of tasks. If anything she seemed more determined to get things done but also more quiet,more thoughtful and less likely to share whatever was on her mind. Riley missed the sound of her chatter more than he liked to admit and while they did accomplish more than usual, there was an unexplained tension between them that hadn’t been there before. Something had changed and the easy-going tone of their conversations had been replaced by short terse sentences and one word answers. It was during one of their long and painfully quiet afternoons of work that a visitor from town came by. They were replacing the rotten planks of wood on the porch when Don Gelding,the old veteran from the café, came up the drive in his red Oldsmobile barely looking over the steering wheel. He was 90 something if he was a day. He was wearing a short sleeve plaid shirt, a pair of light brown trousers and his VFW hat perched smartly on his head. The old man moved slowly, contemplating each and every step he took.
 

“Howdy, folks!” He greeted them and Riley, who had been removing the wooden planks with a crowbar, stood up and dusted himself off, took off his heavy work gloves and stepped forward to greet him. Renae was right behind him and directed both men to sit on the porch swing, which was on the side of the porch they weren’t working on,
 
so she could go inside and bring them a cold drink. While they waited for her to return Don Gelding took a moment to talk to Riley about the upcoming VFW sponsored community dinner.

“If you remember, I invited you and your lady to join us. And of course, we’d like you to be the guest of honor.”

“I remember. I appreciate it, Mr. Gelding, really I do. But first off the lady’s not my lady she’s my boss and second I have to respectfully decline.”

Mr. Gelding was quiet for a moment.
 

“You know, Riley, I served with your grandpa in the war? Aren’t too many of us left now. No, sir.” Riley knew he referred to WWII. He’d seen the pictures in his grandfather’s scrapbook once when he was a kid.
 

 
“ I also had a brother, who served in Korea and my youngest son served in Vietnam.” Riley could see that the old veteran had tears welling up in his eyes. Don Gelding cleared his throat as if to get rid of the emotion and the memories. “Their names are on the memorial wall in town.”

“Yes, sir. I know.” Riley acknowledged. The old man took a deep breath and looked around the porch then his eyes set back on Riley.
 

“Well, then, you know that when I say I understand something of what you’ve been through, I mean it.” Riley didn’t say anything. “But I know that don’t mean squat when it you that’s going through it.” Don Gelding continued, his gruff voice ending in a whisper.

“Mr. Gelding. . .”

“You probably think we just want an excuse to put you on display, like a prize hog at the fair.” The old man chuckled. “That we’re a bunch of bored old men wanting to relive some glory days by having you there?”

“No,sir. I’m just not up for social gatherings.”

“No one is, not really. Not when they get back home. Don’t I know that!” Don Gelding slapped his own knee and laughed. “ You know it was quite a few months before my wife, God rest her soul, could get me back out to those barn dances. I couldn’t take the crowds or the noise or the barn. I’d been holed up in too many of those when I was in Europe. Just not the same even when they’re all decorated and the like when you come back from where I was. After a while Betty started to coax me back to the things I used to do. Most of them I did to make her happy.
 
Don’t get me wrong, it made me happy too. . .to see her happy mostly. Do you know what I mean?” Riley nodded and the old man continued.

 
“Your grandpa and I were boyhood friends growing up. But you knew that.”

“Yes, sir. He always said you were a good friend.”

“I don’t know about that. I don’t suppose he told you that I stole his girl once?” Don Gelding winked. Riley’s jaw dropped and Don Gelding let out a hearty laugh.
 

“You should see the look on your face, son!” The old man pointed with a bony finger. “Oh, we were rivals for a bit. I took your grandma to a dance or two but once we enlisted and things got serious there was no other choice for her but him.” Riley exhaled in relief.

“I found Betty of course and we were married for 57 wonderful years. No regrets. But there sure were lots of problems when I first came home. Not just the dances but the dreams that came at me during the night. Back then we didn’t talk about things the way you young folks do now. And if we did no one wanted to be they guy to admit it. They called it shell shock.” He sighed. “The things I saw I don’t know if you ever forget. I sure haven’t. Nowadays they play those days back in black in white on those History Channel programs. Have you seen them?”

“Not many, no.” Riley admitted.

“Believe you me, Riley, it’s a different kettle of fish when you see it all in technicolor. You remember the smells the most. Blood has a smell, you know. And the sounds,especially of the guys that died not more than a few feet away from you. Their eyes were the worst,all empty and dark. You remember the smell of the cigarette smoke from the last pack of Lucky Strikes your buddy was smoking right before he took a bullet to the head and the choking smell of the smoke coming from a building that’s been bombed after you passed it not more than 10 minutes previous. Everything was about staying one step ahead of the Angel of Death. It was bad but I was proud to serve, proud to be there fighting for what was right along with all the others who were standing by me. Everybody did their part back home and kicked Hitler’s ass all the way back the bunker.” Don Gelding slapped his knee again and laughed.

Riley smiled and that’s when Renae came out with a tray with a pitcher of iced tea and two glasses.

“I’m so sorry that took so long! I thought I knew where the tea was but I had to search
everywhere
!”

“That’s all right.” Don Gelding said taking a shaky sip of his tea, the ice tinkling in the glass a he put it up to his wrinkled lips. “It’s delicious!” He gave Renae a brilliant smile and she smiled back. Since there was only room enough for two on the swing she excused herself to go inside and catch up on some household chores.
 
The two men were alone again.

“She’s a very pretty gal.” Don Gelding said to Riley.

“Yes, she is.” Riley said without hesitation and found himself
 
perplexed at having made that confession to the older man.

“You known her long?”

“No, not long.”

“How long you two been shacking up?” The older man teased. Riley cocked an eyebrow unsure of what to say next that might not feed the already spinning gossip mill.

“Come on now, you know everyone’s talking about it. You two young people out here on your own. Neither one attached for the moment. Of course, in my day it would’ve been scandalous, now it makes for interesting conversation over at the café during my toast and coffee in the morning.”

“I’m sure it does. Again, the lady’s my boss. She needed some help with the house and I needed a place to stay for a while.”

The old man’s eyes filled up with tears again.
 

“It sure was a shame about your grandfather and the farm, Riley. If there was anything we could’ve done, I assure you we would have.”

“I know.”

“Look, about this dinner. What do you say? We gave you a pass on the 4th of July. We didn’t ask you to
 
march in the parade with us or make any speeches. The good Lord knows the havoc fireworks play on a soldier’s nerves when he first gets home. But this is different, Riley.” Riley hated to disappoint his grandfather’s old friend but he couldn’t bring himself to agree to go to an event that wanted to honor his
heroic
deeds.
If only they knew what he’d done
!
 

“Mr. Gelding, I really appreciate you driving all the way out and sitting with me. But I can’t.” Don Gelding gathered himself up, handed Riley his glass and stood. He patted Riley on the shoulder.

“I understand. More than you probably know. I just want you to consider one thing.”

“What’s that?” Riley asked.

“Maybe you’re convinced that because you’re a bonafide hero that we’re the ones that need
you
. Couldn’t be further from the truth, son. War is war. Doesn’t matter how many medals you got pinned to your chest. I got a few of them at home myself. You know what the truth is?”

“What is that, sir?”

“The truth is we’re the only ones who know what you know now.
 
You may not realize it yet but you’re the one who needs
us
.” He said and with that he gave Riley a nod before making his way down the porch stairs and back to the red Oldsmobile.
 

“Give my regards to your lady. Tell her I enjoyed the tea!” The old man called and waved before backing his way out of the drive and back onto the main road. Riley sat on the swing contemplating Don Gelding’s final words.
The truth is we’re the only ones who know what you know now.
No, they didn’t and he would make sure it stayed that way.

He caught her spying right as old Mr. Gelding made it down the drive. Riley opened the door and almost ran into her. Brenda hadn’t had enough time or sense it seemed to hide before he decided to come inside the house with the glasses and the pitcher of ice tea.

“How much did you hear?” he asked as he passed her on his way to the kitchen. She followed him trying to figure out how to answer the question without seeming too pushy or too eager on the subject.

“He really wants you to go to that dinner, doesn’t he.”

“Yeah. But I’m not going.”

“Why not?” she asked. Riley frowned.

“I’m not much for social gatherings if you hadn’t noticed.”

“But it sounds like it’s going to be something really special.”

“I’m sure it will be but they don’t need me to make it special.”

“Of course they do!” she said a little too quickly. He gave her a look of impatience as he headed back outside.

“Let’s get back to work.” He said putting on the work gloves and going back to the spot on the porch where he’d pulled the last board.

“Riley, don’t you think Mr. Gelding seemed sincere?”

“What does that have to do with it?” Riley said yanking another board.

“I mean that he has your best interests at heart. He said they weren’t trying to exploit you they just want to share a meal with you.”

“Exploit? I don’t remember him saying anything about exploiting me.”

“You know what I mean. He’s not out to take advantage of you or . . .what happened. It might help to be around people who understand.”

“You mean it might help me
remember
?” he said and for the first time in a long time she felt a surge of hope.

“Something like that.” She said and he stopped working, looked up at her and shook his head.

“It’s not something I want to remember.” He said and she felt her heart sink all the way down to her feet again.

“Okay. Okay. I understand that. What if
we
were to go-“ She needed to salvage this somehow.
 
Think quickly!

“We?”
 

“He did say to invite your lady friend.”
 

“If you’d spied on me the entire conversation you would have heard me say that you’re aren’t my lady friend. I don’t know what it means back where you come from but here that means an entirely different thing.”
 

“I wasn’t spying and I know he asked if I was your lady. I’m the one adding
friend
to the equation.”

“Nope. Still going cause trouble. All the widowers in town have lady friends. I’m not old enough.” He teased.

“Fine. I’ll just go as your boss.”

“No. I don’t think so.”

“So you want to go by yourself?” She asked feeling frustrated. He shook his head again and then wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his arm.
Because I need you to remember what happened!

“
Because they want to help and even if it doesn’t help a bit you’d still be doing something nice for the veterans of your hometown. If you won’t let them honor you than at least go and honor them.” Their eyes met.

“Is this really that important to you?”

“Yes.” She was telling the absolute truth.

“Is it because of your friend and what happened to her husband?” He asked and she had to swallow hard to get past the lump that was forming in her throat.

“Yeah.”

“Okay. But I’m
not
wearing a uniform.” He said and went back to work. She opened her mouth to say something else but decided it was better if she didn’t. She figured she had pushed him far enough. Brenda went back to picking up the discarding planks of rotten wood and started to put them in a pile. It was a small victory she decided but a victory nonetheless.

***

They attended the VFW Community Dinner a week later and true to his word Riley was not wearing a uniform. He wore what passed for a sport coat and an old tie she was sure had once belonged to his grandfather. When they arrived the Community Center where the dinner was being held was full. It seemed like the whole town had turned out. Brenda could tell that Riley was nervous. She could tell by the way his eyes darted from person to person in the room and the way he loosened his tie almost immediately after they got there as if it were suffocating him and he couldn’t breathe. He kept a close eye on the door as if he wanted to make sure he knew where all the exits were in case he wanted to escape. There were tons of casseroles, salads and desserts all made by the different women’s organizations and churches in the community. The rows and rows of 6 foot tables arranged end to end were bursting with people most of them elderly visiting with friends and relatives and all clamoring for a chance to get a moment or two of Riley’s attention. He humored them for the most part shaking hands and even posing for pictures with some of the younger kids, who pulled out their cell phones and snapped the photo before Riley had a chance to protest or pull away. At one point the crowds became so thick that Brenda lost him in the crowd until she felt a hand grab onto hers and pull her forward. It was Riley and once he had a hold of her hand he didn’t let go the rest of the time until they sat down and the event formally began.